Still Spectacular

"So, you were approached by Nick Fury."

"Pretty much."

"The Nick Fury."

"There's only one Gwen."

"Who offered to train you as a SHIELD agent. To make you the Super Spider-Man."

"Ultimate, actually."

"And you turned him down?"

"Yep."

"…well, that was stupid."

Peter Parker winced, and not just because of Gwen applying anti-septic cream to the bloody slash across his back. Bad enough that with the Green Goblin gone, a Hobgoblin had taken his place. Bad enough that his job description now included everything from scorpions to red Venom wanabees. But now he had Gwen calling him stupid. Or his choices at least. And currently present with the only person who knew his identity, he was hoping for more than remarks about his choices.

"Anyway, this is done," Gwen said, putting the anti-septic cream to one side while handing Peter his costume from the other. "Don't expect me to stitch it up though."

"Don't worry," Peter mused. "I've been doing that for ages."

Ages. It felt like ages since his life had changed. Since the death of his uncle, of gaining his powers. Ages even since he'd graduated from Midtown High, enrolled at Empire State University and found himself fighting super villains both old and new. Some things remained the same though, such as residing with his aunt, while others…

"You know Peter, if you can get in touch with Fury again, I'd recommend it," Gwen said, watching as her friend put his costume in his backpack while getting into his regular clothes. "I mean, with everything that's happening in New York, I'd say you need all the help you can get."

"What?" Peter said, intending to grin but actually grimacing as pain shot through his spine, prompting him to put on his shirt more gently. "You don't think I can handle it?"

"Considering that this is the first time I've patched you up this month? If you're handling it Peter, you've only got one hand on the ledge."

Peter opened his mouth. He wanted to point out that he was Spider-Man. That among other things, he never slipped off ledges, and that if he did, he'd still have his web-shooters to prevent him from hitting the ground. But Gwen's look of worry. His aching body. He felt too tired to crack a joke, or even stand. And collapsing into a chair, he felt too tired to do much else besides reflect.

Things had changed indeed. He was getting older. His battles were getting tougher. Especially the one with Carnage, the symbiote not only having hung onto Eddie's lust for revenge, but also the homicidal tendencies of the serial killer it had bonded with. Like Venom, it had gone after Gwen. Like Venom, he'd managed to defeat it and save the person who, even after all these years, he still cared about most in the world. But he wasn't sure if he'd make it. So he'd shown her. Shown his best friend that yes, he was Spider-Man, that yes, he'd been Spider-Man for all this time and wasn't dressing up, and that yes, he loved her. Granted, he'd passed out before he could get that line out, but he'd ended up surviving the experience. And he'd got someone who not only was willing to keep his secret, but patch him up before heading home to Aunt May each night.

"Peter, you listening?"

The young adult shook his head. He was tired. This chair was so comfy. He-…

"Peter!"

With a yelp, Peter leapt out of the chair, sticking to the roof of Gwen's apartment. She looked up at him. He looked down. Sheepishly, he dropped back to the ground.

"Peter, you can't stay here," Gwen said. "Your aunt needs you. And like I said, you need help."

"Right, and that help involves being a SHIELD agent. No doubt paired up with a team of people I barely know, and won't get to know either."

"If it means keeping you alive, then yes," Gwen said firmly. "If it means…I don't have to look out my window each night and hope I don't see you swinging like you're on the verge of passing out, then yes."

"And if I join SHIELD, what then?" Peter shot back. "What then? More missions? More battles?"

"It's what you're doing now!" Gwen exclaimed.

"It's what I have to do! I never said I wanted to do it! I never said I wanted this life! I never said I wanted my uncle to die so I could realize that with great power comes great…"

Peter trailed off. He sat back down in the chair, rubbing his hands through his hair.

He didn't know what he wanted. He thought he'd done a good job of honouring Uncle Ben's memory so far, but if he declined a place in SHIELD, would that be turning his back on him? Certainly SHIELD did good work. Certainly he could make a difference.

"Peter?" Gwen asked. "You alright?"

But what about the people he cared about? He barely got enough time to see his friends and last family member as he was, what with everything from college to Carnage. Even if he cleared up New York, when would it end? When would he be in a position where he could put responsibility to the side and live his life? Was such a thing possible without turning his back on everyone who relied on him? Even those who believed what the Bugle printed?

"I…I can't join SHIELD," Peter said eventually. "Not yet at least."

Gwen sighed. "Fine. It's your choice."

"And hey," Peter said as he got up. "Fury wants to make me the Ultimate Spider-Man. Spectacular has more of a ring to it, don't you think?"

Gwen stared. Maybe it was a bad joke. Maybe she didn't agree. Maybe she just wanted to kiss him. Which she did. Quick and short, before hugging him.

"Peter, Spider-Man or not, you're still spectacular," she whispered. "Don't forget that."

Remaining silent, but meeting her embrace, Peter didn't know whether that was true.

But he did know that in the end, he would never forget her.

A/N

I guess you could sort of call this a 'vent my spleen'-type oneshot, though I'm afraid it isn't that clear cut. Basically it revolves around the fact that Spectacular Spider-Man ceased to air long ago and the replacement we've got right now is Ultimate Spider-Man. Can't say it's made that favourable an impression on me, but I wouldn't call this an outright criticism of it, and if it was, experience has told me it's not always a good idea to criticize a media via a fic that's in the host media itself. Anyway, along with taking some shots as to where further seasons of SSM might have gone, came up with this.