Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Academy. It belongs to Richelle Mead. I do not own Evan Way either. It belongs to Evan Taubenfeld.
Authors Note: What happens when Rose sees her mother's death? Don't know if it happened in the last book or what happened because I haven't read it, but this is just a story I wrote about her mom dying after another attack on the school.
This is Goodbye, I guess
What if she got in the car?
And they never even crashed.
Would it change who we all are?
Would I have this photograph?
Now I wonder everyday, how a telephone pole missed him.
I'm so glad he stayed awake - 'Cause I don't think I'd be living.
I stared down at the lifeless form, tears rolling down my face. I closed my eyes and sat back on my heels. Dimitri put his hand on my shoulder, but I pushed him away.
Mom had been killed. Murdered. Whatever the hell you wanted to call it. I had watched, unable to do anything, unable to move. The only way I held my temper was Dimitri's presence, his sweetness, everything.
I felt Lissa approach with Christian and looked up at her. She knelt down beside me and hugged me. Christian and Dimitri stood silently behind us.
The school seemed silent too, contemplating the damage. Everything had a hush over it. It was misting, trying to rain. I wished it would. If it did, then it might wash away the sadness, the empty hole in my chest.
Don't be ashamed,
You made a mistake.
We'll all be okay.
No one would be able to replace the hole. I felt like it was my fault. It had to be my fault. I stood next to her and watched, unable to move. Dimitri had taught me to never pause, but to move, to take a bullet for our charge. But, that had been the thing, she hadn't been my charge. He said that the charges came first, trainers second. What was I supposed to do?
I brushed the tears away from my eyes and stood. Dimitri held me to him and I cried on his shoulder like a little kid. Snap out of it, Rose, you're stronger than this. Stop it! Stop crying like some little kid. You're not a kid, you're almost an adult. Knock it off!
Unwillingly, I pushed Dimitri away as Alberta approached with Mia. Mia and Lissa embraced. I gave Alberta a sad smile as she put her arm around me.
"You did good, Rose, rather you know it or not, you did good," she whispered. Did I? Had I really?
"No, I didn't," I said, closing my eyes. I wasn't able to look at my mom anymore. I felt like I'd die or puke or both if I did. She squeezed my shoulders.
"Believe what you want, Rose, but you were great," she said. "Go get something to eat, I'll watch over her." Dimitri took me from her and I allowed him to lead me to the school. I looked over my shoulder at my mom once more and saw Alberta hunched over, crying.
And things go wrong, sometimes we fall.
The world turns and we move along, and that's what makes us who we are.
So just be strong, 'Cause life's not long.
Before ya know it we'll all be gone,
And this will be the last today, ever.
I looked sharply at Dimitri. He wasn't supposed to treat me like this. No one was supposed to know about us. I didn't care, though, and I doubted anyone else did.
I took the cup of hot chocolate from Lissa gratefully and took a long drink, not even caring that it burnt my tongue. Christian sat next to me as Dimitri and Lissa whispered. I didn't even care that they were talking about me.
"You going to be okay, Rose?" Christian asked after a moment. I glanced at him and shrugged. I picked at a thread on the couch and avoided his gaze. "It's okay to mourn, you know that, right? No one cares right now, everyone's mourning."
"I didn't do anything. I just stood there and the Strigoi killed her. I didn't even do anything until he tried to take her. It's all my fault…" I said, on the verge of tears again. He sighed but didn't press it. I looked at Dimitri, who looked battered and worn. "You guys go on to bed, Lissa will stay with me." They all looked at me sharply. Lissa cleared her throat.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure she gets some rest," she said to Dimitri. He looked at me for a moment before nodding. He came over and kissed my forehead before leaving. Christian kissed Lissa goodbye and he too was gone.
I followed Lissa upstairs and collapsed on my bed. I rolled into a ball and kicked my shoes off. I didn't care that I probably looked like shit, all I wanted was to wipe this night from my mind.
Well the doctor's sad to say, that they thought he may not make it.
As the tears spilled down her face, she shouted 'I can't take this.'
Now I wonder everyday, about the stuff he must be thinking.
I just don't know how to say, that I wish you would stop drinking.
The shush that had been over the school last night was there the next morning when I walked into breakfast. I sat down next to Lissa and Christian silently and put my head on my hands. Everyone was either just picking at their food and not speaking or whispering.
"How are you?" Lissa asked. I looked at her and tried to find my old, cocky self.
"A hell of a lot better than last night, that's for sure," I said and sat back up. I looked at Christian, who looked tired. "Can't say the same for you though, Christian, you look like shit." He gave me a look.
"Gee, thanks, Rose," he said sarcastically. Lissa was still looking worriedly at me.
"Seriously, Liss, I'm fine," I said and took a huge gulp of my orange juice. I nearly choked as Dimitri walked in. He nodded at me and took a seat next to Mia.
"Yeah, she's fine," Christian said as a smell of smoke empowered me. I turned to see Adrian standing behind me with his lazy grin and hands in his pockets.
"Hey, Little Dhampir, how are you this morning?" he asked, seeming like the only happy one.
"Fine, you?" I asked as he sat down. He shrugged.
"Nothing a little beer or something won't cure," he said. That was it. He was mellow from his drugs.
You're not to blame.
We've all made mistakes.
And it is okay.
Christian cracked his knuckles and I looked at him. Suddenly, he looked pissed, but I didn't know why. I sighed and put my head back on my head, the reality settling over me. Even Adrian couldn't break through my sadness and get me to smile.
"Come on, Little Dhampir, cheer up. It's a sunny day out, want to go out for a jog or something?" Adrian asked. I shrugged.
"Maybe later," I said, feeling like a lazy bum. He sighed and tried again.
"How about some ice cream from town? How about that?" he asked. I gave him a look.
"Not everyone's as mellow as you, Adrian, most of us like to be sober," I said, "and actually have some sense, not that you have any when you are sober." He faked looking hurt.
"You're trying to hurt me, aren't you?" he asked. "I think you are. You tricky little dhampir, but you could have fooled me."
"Why? Because you are a fool?" I retorted. He rolled his eyes.
Things go wrong, sometimes we fall.
The world turns and we move along, and that's what makes us who we are.
So just be strong, 'Cause life's not long.
Before ya know it we'll all be gone,
And this will be the last today.
I sat next to Dimitri and Lissa during my mother's funeral. I gripped Dimitri's hand tightly instead of crying. Every time I felt like I was going to cry, I just gripped it tighter and the lump went away.
I didn't hear a word that the preacher said. I just sat there, numb all over. It was like the night I happened. I saw people all day, heard their words of condolences, but if anyone had asked me a single thing about it, I'd be like they show in the movies and shout thirty-two. I was in a daze, that was all there was to it.
I stood in the empty church, well, it was empty except for a few lingerers, Dimitri, Lissa, Christian, and Mia. I walked up to the casket and ran my hand over the wood. Even though they normally didn't hold funerals for guardians, I begged for one for my mom.
I kneeled down on the ground and hung my head, my hair creating a veil around me. I stared at my hands and let the tears fall until I couldn't cry anymore. Someone sat down next to me and I looked over to see Abe.
Don't you want to change?
I just hope that you'll do it.
What we learned, on Evan Way.
And maybe the best thing to happen now.
I allowed him to put his arm around me and we sat there in silence. I said my final goodbyes to my mom and apologized for acting like such brat to her and silently kicked myself for not getting to know her better. I hadn't realized that her death would affect me until it actually did.
I turned and walked out into the sunlight. It warmed me, but the pain inside me still throbbed. I knew that I would never be able to get over this. She had been my mother, the only thing I had basically. No one expects to have their mom die that young, but it wasn't that out of the ordinary when you're a guardian.
I took Dimitri's hand and we walked up to the school. No one even cared that we were together anymore. Not. At. All. And, it felt good. In a few weeks, they wouldn't be able to say anything because I'd be an adult, not that I didn't already feel like one anyways.
Things go wrong, sometimes we fall.
The world keeps turning and we move along.
And that's what makes us who we are.
So just be strong, 'cause life's not long.
Before ya know it, we'll all be gone.
And this will be the last today.
(It's so beautiful it makes you want to cry.)
This could be the last today, ever.