What If... Phantoms Tragedy.
Character...Teyla
Warning. Character deaths
Disclaimer...I own nothing Stargate related.
They had been back on Atlantis two days and she had spent them in the infirmary. Carson had only released her today on condition, she go straight to her room and rest. Well she was going to her room, but not to rest. She needed to find John. She needed a proper wash and then John. Her heart was so heavy in her chest. After the events on the planet she did not know how they were going to recover.
She knew better then most that it took only seconds for lives to change. For death to claim loved ones! To be the one left behind when others were lost! The four members of her team had gone through the gate but only two had come home. She felt the tears fall down her cheeks. She did not bother to wipe them away. Her soul wept for the loss of her friends. Her soul cried out in pain for her remaining team mate. It took all her efforts to put one foot in front of the other, just to make it to her room.
She just wanted to stop. To stop everything! To go back and stop John! She should have done more. She had been the only one not affected by the organic machine. The only one in the right frame of mind to stop the tragedy from happening! But she had failed and Rodney and Ronon were dead because of that failure. But she also knew that the pain and guilt she was feeling was nothing compared to how John must be feeling.
He had not come to see her at all while she had been in the infirmary. Carson had told her that he was not seeing anyone. That John had locked himself in his room and told, no, shouted for everyone to leave him alone. She wanted to give him space but she knew he needed her just as she needed him. The only way to get through this, was together. She was praying to the Ancestors that she would find the right words to help John heal. But she did not know that any words could take away the knowledge that it had been John's hands that had held the gun and pulled the trigger that had ended first Ronon's and then Rodney's, lives.
She did not blame John, no-one but John blamed John. That was the man he was and she had to put aside her own guilt and help him. In the back of her mind she wondered what would happen if she failed to help John see the truth.
Reaching her room she entered and went toward the bathroom. The sun was shining through the window and its light was reflecting off something on her bed. She bent to pick up the objects, confused. Her mind tried to understand what they were doing here in her room when she had never seen John remove them from his person. What did it mean? Why would John...No, no, her heart cried out. No John, please no.
She ran from her room and down the corridor to John's room all the while praying for a miracle. Praying to get to John before...no she could not even put words to such an idea. Her heart was breaking.
She ran as fast as she could, hoping against hope to get to John in time. As she went to engage the opening of his door a shocking noise made her collapse to the floor. The gun shot was over in seconds but the loud screaming did not stop. She did not realize that the sound was coming from her own mouth. Over and over she cried his name as she held tightly to the dog tags still clutched in her hand.
the end or is it...