Hey guys, thanks for checking this out.
If the vague summary wasn't enough to go by, this is going to be a nutty tale. Don't take it too seriously, it's mostly just for gits and shiggles, but it will also have some of my well-known fluff.
Credit goes out to Invader Johnny for requesting this thing, and hopefully he, and all of you who read, will have fun reading it:)
And finally, if you haven't watched the episode "Stop Team Go," this story will reference the events of it. Go read a summary on the KP wiki, at least. Other than that, I don't know where this fits in the official canon. Probably best not to overthink it.
So, without further ado, please enjoy!
"Yes… YEEES!" Dr. Drakken sinisterly shouts as he puts the finishing touches on his latest evil invention.
He looks back to Shego, who is playing on her phone. He frowns at her.
"Shego…" he petulantly whines.
She just rolls her eyes, trying to ignore him.
But of course, he keeps looking at her like a big mopey baby, and she knows he'll just keep doing so until she acknowledges him… Unfortunately.
…
She sighs. "What now?" she coldly responds as she looks up from her phone to meet his grumpy gaze.
"Why can't you just take interest in one of my schemes for once? It's very disheartening to put your all into something only for people to show a complete lack of interest," the super villain bemoans in typical Drakken fashion.
Shego rolls her eyes and sighs again. "Okay… Fine… What are you working on?"
…
A wicked smile comes to his blue face.
"Behold, Shego! I have just completed the final modifications for a working teleportation pad!" he proudly announces.
She doesn't even try to look impressed, but he's oblivious to her indifference and continues his villainous monologue.
"It's simple! I will use this device to teleport myself into the Sikowitz museum of Kentucky- the most heavily guarded museum in Appalachia, bypass it's security, and steal the only piece of Snowman Hank memorabilia that has eluded me all these years… An authentic Snowman Hank Carrot Nose!"
"Okay- time out… You went through the trouble of building this doohickey… To steal Snowman Hank crap?" Shego bluntly states.
…
Drakken frowns again as he crosses his arms, and he deeply inhales through his nostrils.
"I'm going to pretend you didn't call it crap…"
…
"Whatever…" Shego mumbles to herself as she returns to her smartphone.
...
The lack of a wittier follow-up than "whatever" piques Drakken's interest, and he turns back to face her with a raised brow.
"What's your deal, anyway?" he asks.
"What deal?" Shego scoffs.
"You're especially cranky today. And you've been glued to that phone all morning. What're you doing on there anyway?" he inquires.
"If I told you, I'd have to kill you. And I'm not even kidding. I would literally have to end your life," Shego asserts.
…
Drakken mockingly makes a face as he turns away, and goes back to tinkering.
"You know, I should know these things, being your employer and all…"
…
Shego just sullenly sighs to herself, choosing simply not to respond.
…
A few minutes pass, and Drakken is all evil smiles again as he prepares to act on his latest nefarious scheme.
"Yes Snowman Hank… Once I activate this teleporter and step inside, I will finally be able to say with complete confidence that I, Dr. Drakken-"
"Drew," Shego interrupts, just to be snarky.
"Dr. Drakken," he continues, "Am the most devout Snowman Hank fan to ever live!"
…
"Is that so?" a familiar, cringe worthy voice calls out from across the lair.
Drakken turns to look, and sees Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable standing there all ready for action, like he's seen them countless times before.
"I have you know, I have all six holiday specials on Ultra HD 4K Blu-Ray DVD, with special commentary from executive creator Michael Cody!" Ron proclaims.
"Ron, please… Geek out after we save the day," Kim pleas to him.
…
"Ha! You only have the Ultra HD 4K Blu-Ray DVDs? I have-" Drakken begins.
"Yeah, nobody cares," Kim interrupts.
"Hey!" Ron whines, clearly offended.
"Sorry," she sweetly apologizes to him before returning her attention to her arch nemesis. "Why don't we just save each other the trouble of going through all the good guy/bad guy nonsense? Just turn yourselves in. I mean, I have a lot of homework to get caught up on before spring break," Kim bargains.
Drakken scowls. "Absolutely not! You may have foiled all of my other plans, Kim Possible; but this time, it's really important! I won't falter under such dire circumstances!" he declares.
Kim just meets him with apathy.
…
"Nyeah! Shego!" Drakken cries.
The others look to her, and she's still playing on her phone.
"SHEGO!" Drakken cries again with more desperation.
She groans, and puts her phone away. "I wish the lord would take me," she grudgingly thinks aloud as she stands up from her seat.
…
"Eww, cynical," Ron comments.
"Alright, Shego. Let's make this quick. I'd like to kick your butt in time to get home and finish my midterm thesis," Kim brashly tells her.
And the way she says it just pisses Shego off, lighting a fire in her and moving her out of her ennui and into a full-blown rage.
"Rrrah!" she growls as she flares up her green plasma, and she charges at Kim with great ferocity.
It catches Kim by surprise to see the sudden change in demeanor, but she's resourceful enough to dodge as Shego lunges at her.
"Jeez Shego… Did I hit a nerve?" Kim quips before the two engage in their usual fisticuffs.
…
Which leaves the males to do… whatever.
…
Ron defiantly smiles at Drakken, who just snarls at the sidekick.
Just as the villain is about to begin monologuing again, Ron cuts him off.
"Okay, before you say it; my name is Ron. R O N, Ron. Got it?"
"I could care less what your name is you blithering idiot! What I am concerned about is the rodent! Where is it?!"
…
From behind Drakken, Ron's trusty naked mole rat companion Rufus meets his master with a smile and a thumbs up.
Ron just nods at him before returning to distracting Drakken.
…
"Nevermind that. Did you hear they're making a live action TV movie to reboot Snowman Hank?" Ron asks with a grin.
"Nuh uh!" Drakken tactfully responds. "You're lying!"
"Its true! Google it!" Ron rebuts.
Drakken searches for his phone, but can't find it on his person. "Shego! Will you-"
…
No, she won't; because she's too busy fighting Kim Possible.
…
"Grrr!" Drakken growls before declaring and donning a somber look. "Are you for reals?" he asks Ron.
Ron just nods.
"Ugh! Why live action? That's just- ugh- lame!"
…
The diversion by Ron works, and Rufus comes flinging at Drakken with primal, naked fury. He lands on Drakken's back, who promptly squeals like a small child. "Eww, eww, eww! Get it off, get it off!"
…
The battle rages on, with Ron and Rufus taking it to the blue meanie in very awkward fashion while Kim and Shego duke it out with great finesse.
One kicks, the other sways. One sticks, the other moves.
"Damn Shego… You're making me work for it today!" Kim quips as she dodges some of her maneuvers.
"Yah!... Do you ever shut up?!" she ripostes.
Kim dons a look of confused concern. "Is it that time of the month? Normally you like witty banter? It's kind of your thing."
"NAH!" Shego brutishly roars as she keeps trying to smack the stupid look off of her rival's face.
…
After a while of tangling with the buffoon and his disgusting creature, Drakken is able to grab hold of Rufus and toss him at Ron, sending the two tumbling to the floor all cartoon like.
"I don't care if it's a reboot! Live-action just won't work! It's meant to be a cartoon!" the grown man cries before turning his attention to his teleporter.
…
Too distracted by their kerfuffle to realize just where they're footed, Kim and Shego wander onto the teleportation pad…
And in that moment, without realizing where they are…
Drakken activates the device.
…
FLASH!
…
When the metaphorical bells and whistles stop, Ron and Drakken look up to see a cloud of smoke.
"Well that wasn't supposed to happen…" Drakken thinks aloud.
The smoke gradually clears to reveal Kim and Shego.
Only, they've become closer.
Too close.
Because, they are literally attached- the tops of their bodies meeting at the stomach, like some sort of ungodly abomination.
…
Needless to say, they freak out.
"AHHHHH!" they both scream upon seeing what's happened to them.
…
"Dang it! Why can't I just get one stupid contraption to work!" Drakken curses to himself without knowing what's before him.
"Uhh, dude..." Ron says as he pokes his arm, and he gestures him to look at the newly combined females.
…
"EWWWW!" both men cry as they cringe.
…
Kim and Shego both use their arms to try and pull away from each other, but it's moot. They are literally stuck together.
"Oh god, oh god!" Kim cries.
"DRAKKEN! You better fucking fix this, right fucking now!" Shego demandingly yells.
…
"Okay, okay! Just relax!" Drakken pleas as she motions closer to them. He stops midway. "Uhh it's just so gross!"
…
"Ron!" Kim desperately calls to him.
"This is bad, KP. This is really bad."
"Really?!" she bluntly tells him. "Do something!"
"Like what?!" he hollers as Rufus dry heaves in the distance.
…
"I don't know… But one of you idiots better fix this before I-" Shego yells before she's cut off by Ron.
"Okay! Hey! I've got it! I'll just call Wade and he'll-"
"NO!" Kim interrupts. "Do not call Wade. I will not let him see me like this!"
…
Shego frowns as she holds her half up crabwalk style. "Listen, princess. I don't wanna be stuck with you as my bottom for the rest of my life. So if nerdlinger says call Wade, you let him call Wade!"
"Stop yelling! All of this bad news is giving me a headache…" Drakken whines as he rubs his temples.
…
"Well sorry if we've inconvenienced you Doctor, but we're kind of fucking stuck here!" Shego shouts.
…
"Stop being a baby… I know how to fix this," Drakken tells the two adjoined ladies.
"You do?!" they both cry in unison.
"Yes… I'll simply saw you in half, and then-"
"NO!"
…
He laughs as they meet him with mortified looks.
"I'm just teasing! Yeesh… Everyone is so serious nowadays…"
Kim frowns. "Yeah, well, forgive us for not finding humor in the sitch here," she groans.
…
"I may actually be able to help you though. Even I'm not evil enough to leave you two like this," Drakken tells them.
Now Kim gets crabwalky. "So what do you have in mind?" she pitifully asks.
"Well, I know a guy. He's not exactly a people person- in fact he's barely a person… But he might be able to tell me how to reverse the effects of, ehh… Whatever you call this," he explains.
…
Shego tries to face palm, but it's too awkward given her situation. "Just please fix this, Dr. D…" she uncharacteristically pleas. "My life was stressful enough…"
…
Kim looks to her with a sympathetic gaze, then let's her eyes wander to their now shared midsection.
"So the drama…" she bemoans, letting her half fall to the floor.
…
...
Dr. Drakken finishes calling said "guy," and turns back to the women. "Alright, I'm off to go meet him… Needless to say, I will not be using the teleporter," he tells them.
Kim and Shego both flip him off without a word.
…
"You, bozo," Drakken calls to Ron.
"Me?" he responds, caught off guard.
"I need a second hand for this. You're it," he orders, tossing him some car keys.
"Wh- Why me?" he asks.
"Because you're the only other person here with legs at the moment," Drakken reasons.
…
Ron conflictingly looks to Kim, who sadly frowns.
"Please Ron… Just do as he says…"
…
He sighs. "Alright. For you, Kim," he says with a soft smile, and he follows Drakken to the exit.
"Alright, ladies… We shall return post-haste!... Don't go anywhere! Tee hee hee!" he jokes before leaving.
…
"He's such a dick," Shego cusses.
…
"Don't worry, Kim. I'll figure this out. You can count on me!" Ron declares before leaving as well.
…
Now alone, Kim dejectedly looks to Shego, who just looks back with her usual chagrin.
"He's a dick, too…" she adds.
…
Again, Kim let's her half fall to the floor.
"This is going to be a long day…"
The next few minutes are spent in tense silence as both women try to get comfortable.
It is not easy.
For starters, both of them have phantom limb sensations regarding their respective legs, which apparently just disappeared during the teleportation process.
"What do you think happened to our legs?" Kim anxiously asks Shego.
She scoffs. "Hell if I know… But I better get mine back…"
…
After a moment, Shego replaces her anger with sadness. "I miss my ass…"
"I miss your ass, too…" Kim says, without really thinking about how Shego could take it.
She sits her half up, raising a conflicted brow at the young hero's words. "You miss my ass?"
…
Now realizing just how she worded her sentiment, Kim sits her half up to meet her. "Wait- that totally came out wrong, I didn't mean it like-"
Shego smiles and laughs. "Haha! Wow, Kimmie… I mean, not that I'm offended. I do have a nice ass… I just always thought of you as such a prude…" she jokes as she lets her half lie back on the floor.
"Ooo…" she groans.
…
Disregarding the awkward verbal exchange regarding Shego's gloots, Kim grows concerned over her groan.
"What's wrong?"
"You didn't feel it?" Shego asks.
"No- I mean, I only feel- my part… Why? Do you feel me? Do you feel this?!" Kim neurotically asks as she begins clenching her fist again and again.
"No…" Shego mulls as what little amusement she got fades away.
…
"Okay…" Kim dully responds, and then she lets out an "Ooo" of her own.
"See what I mean?" Shego says.
"Yeah… Oh god this feels so weird… I really hope-"
"Don't say it," Shego sharply interrupts. "They will come back, and Drakken will fix this…"
...
"Actually, I was gonna say, I really hope… Well…" Kim starts, but she stops.
"What?" Shego inquires.
"Never mind… I don't want to put my foot in my mouth again," Kim insists.
Shego sits her half up again and looks to Kim with one of her familiar looks of pessimism.
"Well, good luck with that…" she ripostes. "Seriously. What were you gonna say?"
…
Kim thinks it over for a moment, then sits her half up.
"Uhm… Well… What if we have to… You know… Go to the bathroom?"
…
Shego just looks to her with a mortified expression… Then lets out a blood-curdling scream.
"AHHHHH!"
Kim recovers from the sudden noise pollution, and watches on as Shego continues to freak out, screaming many, many obscenities about how she's very dissatisfied with the quote-unquote "sitch."
"Shego… Shego! Calm down!"
"Calm down?! How the hell am I supposed to calm down when I'm stuck to you?!"
"Shego… You just said Drakken would fix this. Now if we're going to make it through this, we need to keep our cool… Even if it is actually the worst thing to ever happen to us…" Kim assures her, sorrowfully adding on the latter part.
…
Shego sighs, falling back down to the cold hard floor.
"Yeah… It really is, isn't it?"
…
They fall back into silence. It lasts for a few minutes before both girls begin to feel a pain in their stomach.
They both sickly groan, holding onto their ribs to try and subside the discomfort.
"Oh Christ… I seriously hope we don't have to do that thing you mentioned," Shego remarks.
"No… But… Man, I am really hungry all of a sudden," Kim admits as their stomach growls.
"Yeah, me too," Shego agrees.
…
They both look around, and their eyes wander to the kitchen hallway. Normally, it'd be a trivial matter of just getting up and walking in to get some sustenance. However, given their complicated dilemma…
…
"Shiiiit… I just remembered…" Shego bemoans.
"What?" Kim simply responds.
"I bought a big bag of nutty nut bars last week. I really crave those when I PMS…"
…
Kim's mouth waters as she visualizes the aforementioned candies.
"Alright, I know we've never seen eye-to-eye Shego, but this is-"
"Yeah, yeah. Spare me the mushy stuff. Let's just- try and figure out how to get to the kitchen."
"Right! It'll be like moving a dresser! Except… It's us…"
…
They awkwardly raise their shared body up like they would if they were going to crabwalk alone. "Alright, you lead the way," Kim instructs Shego, who is closer to the kitchen.
With all of their arm strength, they begin to maneuver their way towards the other room. Shego moves a little too fast for Kim, who moves a little to slow for Shego.
"Will you pick it up, Possible?" she barks.
"I'm trying! You're going too fast!"
"Ahhh, fuck this… Roll over," Shego tells her.
"What?!" Kim dubiously responds.
"We'll go faster this way!" Shego insists, and she begins turning over from the supine position to the prone, practically forcing Kim to do the same.
"Okay, okay! Easy!" she cries. "Jeez… If you're like this in the sack-"
"Shut up!" Shego whines.
…
Together, they "walk" into the kitchen, Shego directing them. They pass the boundary between carpet and tile, and once Shego's palms have touched the kitchen floor, she looks up to her beloved nutty nut bars.
"Why do they have to be so far away?" she moans.
"Shego, my arms are getting tired. Hurry up!" Kim cries.
"Chill out, drama queen… I'm on it," Shego sharply retorts. "And don't you have like, freakish upper arm strength?"
"Uhh, I'm pretty sure we're evenly toned, so that makes you a freak too," Kim ripostes.
"Whatever, just move," Shego simply says, and they both muster the strength to press on to the counter that the candies rest upon.
…
"Alright, fuck. Game time, Possible. I need you to boost me up to reach the counter," Shego instructs.
"No! I told you my arms are tired!" she retorts.
"Hey! You're lucky I'm offering to share my sad time snacks with you in the first place!" Shego angrily responds.
"Shego, seriously. I'm gonna pull a muscle or something, and then we'll both be screwed. How about you boost me up?" Kim suggests.
"What? The hell with that! That's degrading," Shego reasons.
Kim rolls her eyes. "Well, degrading or not- and this whole thing is degrading, mind you… We're both going hungry unless you boost me up."
…
Shego thinks it over. "Well what if my arms are tired?"
"Shego!"
"Alright, fine… But you better never tell anyone about this," she threatens Kim.
"Oh, trust me. You won't have to worry about that…" she stoically responds as they awkwardly turn "theirself" around.
…
Kim sets her eyes on the prize, and then looks back to Shego. "You ready?" she asks.
"Just hurry up. I'm starving," Shego unhappily groans.
With that, Kim positions herself against the counter, and Shego begins pushing like she's doing a headstand. "Alright, Kimmie… Any time now…"
…
Kim fingers her way around the counter, awkwardly trying to grasp the open bag of candies. Eventually, she gets a hold of the torn bag with her fingertips.
"Alright, Shego. I've got 'em!" she proudly announces.
To her surprise, she hears Shego snickering to herself. She looks down to her, and she's really amused by something.
"What?" Kim bluntly asks.
…
"Pfff… Pfff… Uh, you never change Kim…" she laughs.
"What?!" Kim repeats, clearly getting impatient.
"Pfff… You have- little, pointy boobs!" Shego tells her.
Kim frowns at her sophomoric statement, and Shego just has a jolly old time laughing to herself.
…
Disregarding her schadenfreude induced laughter, Kim finally pulls down the bag, spilling the candies down on the floor like sweet chocolate rain. She can't help but smile at her achievement, and even Shego is pleased.
"Oh thank god!" she expresses as she grabs one of the candy bars and unwraps it before stuffing her face with it.
As ungraceful as this whole ordeal is, Kim feels good seeing Shego so happy over something as simple as chocolate and peanut butter.
That, and she finds that the candy's pretty good too.
…
...
After a while of stuffing their faces with succulent sugary sweets, Shego's smile wanes. In fact, as Kim watches her, she realizes just how unhappy Shego looks. Like, she's always a little grumpy, but this is different. Like, she's depressed.
…
"Hey, uh, Shego?" she begins.
She doesn't verbally reply because she's busy munching on a nutty nut bar, but she meets Kim's eyes with an indifferent glare- enough to acknowledge her.
So Kim proceeds. "Uhm… What did you mean when you said these were your 'sad time' snacks?"
…
Shego gets wide eyed at her question, and quickly gulps down her food. Then she frowns. "It's nothing, Kim… Don't worry about it…" she simply says, and she leaves it at that as she finishes her last candy bar.
Then, she stretches her arms out. "Well, that was fun, but I need to go get my phone. I left it in the other room," she tells Kim.
…
Kim sighs with defeat. "Alright, let's try this again," she says, and they roll over to "walk" back into the main lair.
…
Midway through, Shego begins snickering again. Kim rolls her eyes. "Yes, my boobs aren't very round. I'm aware of this," she reluctantly admits.
"No, it's not that," Shego replies, piquing Kim's curiosity. "Actually… I was just thinking… At least I didn't end up getting stuck like this with Drakken… That would've really sucked," she says.
It makes Kim chuckle. "You know, that's actually kind of funny."
…
They awkwardly get to their destination, and Shego picks up her phone with one hand while continuing to support her half with the other. She's quick to unlock it and study whatever it is she's so intent on checking.
Kim… Just kind of watches her. In a strange way, she's thankful too that she's stuck with Shego and not someone else. Drakken? Oh god… Ron? That wouldn't be so bad, but he'd do a lot of whining, and a lot of worrying- two things Shego hasn't been too bad about. Rufus?...
She cringes at that thought.
…
Shego stops checking her phone long enough to notice Kim gawking at her, and does a little double take before addressing her.
"Hey, why don't you take a picture. It'll last longer," she quips.
…
And… Just something about the way she says it… Is hilarious. Kim can't help but burst into laughter. It's so carefree and unadulterated, she even snorts these charmingly goofy little snorts she's laughing so hard.
It makes Shego uneasy. "Jeez Kim, relax. It wasn't that funny…" she insists.
But Kim just keeps happily losing herself, really letting herself enjoy this moment, unable to even get another word out because she's laughing so hard.
"Kim, really… Come on…" Shego tries to tell her.
...
But, no matter how hard she tries to relent, no matter how hard she tries not let it get to her…
She can't help but start laughing too.
And for a little while, they just enjoy the sound of each other's laughter, even if this is supposed to be the worst thing that's ever happened to them.
Meanwhile, Dr. Drakken and Ron Stoppable make their commute to the so-called "guy" Drakken knows.
"Uhh, I gotta ask dude. Do you really think this guy can help Kim and Shego?" Ron asks while driving.
"What?" Drakken thoughtlessly responds, having nearly fallen asleep. "Mmm… Probably? I mean, he knows his astrophysiology and telepathy and trigonometry and blah blah blah…" he answers.
"Oh man…" Ron depressively says with a face palm.
...
"Hey, worst case scenario- I also know a lawyer who knows another guy who can help us get new lives! For a nominal fee of course…" Drakken tells Ron with a smile, confidently leaning back in his seat.
But then, he ebbs, as he becomes concerned.
…
"So… They're really rebooting Snowman Hank?" he asks like a sad child.
"Yeah, they really are," Ron simply answers.
…
"Do you think it will be good?" Drakken follows.
Ron sighs. "I hope so, man… I really do…"
"No… Just… No…" Shego disappointedly tells Kim.
"Come on Shego. I'm just trying to look at the bright side of things," Kim playfully tells her with a smile.
"You can't be serious?" Shego retorts.
"You have to admit, it has a little bit of a ring to it… Kigo!" Kim says, enunciating the portmanteau like an announcer. "It would be easier for people to call us that than 'Kim and Shego' all the time."
…
Shego just frowns.
…
"Come on… I'm just having fun…" Kim tells her.
"Pshhh… Yeah, this is so fun," Shego scoffs. "And why does your name have to come first?"
"Shim doesn't sound right," Kim quips back.
She sees the way Shego won't relent with her moodiness, and she deflates.
"Sorry…" she sadly utters.
…
Shego doesn't say anything more, she just goes back to studying whatever it is she keeps looking at on her phone.
Deciding it's pointless to try and continue any further conversation with the villainess, she checks her phone as well. Of course, her battery is critically low, practically dead.
"Dang it..." she groans. "I hope Ron's okay…" she thinks aloud.
…
"Pffft, you're worried about your boy toy?" Shego ribs. "He's probably talking about cartoons with Drew while stuffing his fat face with nachos…"
Kim amusingly huffs. "Shyeah, that sounds like him alright… Boys are dumb…" she utters.
"Trouble in paradise?" Shego stoically asks.
"We- decided to just be friends…" Kim reveals to her, somewhat sadly. Shego just nods a little nod, surprisingly showing some interest. So, Kim decides to elaborate, if only to help pass time.
…
"He wants to go to a different college than me, and well… He's just… He's just…"
"A doofus?" Shego suggests.
"No," Kim responds.
"An idiot?"
"Not that…"
"A man-boy?"
…
"Well-" Kim considers. "Yes…"
…
She sighs. "He just doesn't look at the big picture like I do," she says.
Shego's eyes widen, and she gives her her full attention. Something about Kim's statement struck a chord.
"He's always talking about things I just- can't take interest in! I think about life, and family, and how I'm going to make the most of my life!... He just wants to talk about-"
"Snowman Hank?" Shego finishes for her.
...
Kim meets her eyes. She sees the way her demeanor has changed, and- it makes her heart flutter. Like, she might actually be having a moment with Shego.
"Snowman Hank…" she softly says back.
…
And for a moment, they just look to each other, before it gets a little awkward and they shift their focus to some super interesting spots on the floor.
The silence is tense, and it lasts for a few moments. Kim tries to think of how she should continue, or if she even should. Like, it's one thing for Shego to indulge her a little, but wouldn't it be rude of her to just keep rambling on about herself?
But then, why does she seem so interested?
…
Finally, the silence is broken, and it's Shego to break it.
"Kim, I have to tell you something, but I swear to god you better not get all Full House Saturday morning on me…" she tells her while pointing her finger at her.
…
Never in the history of history has Shego asked to confide in Kim Possible, and she actually considers the possibility that- maybe she's never asked to confide in anyone ever.
So, of course she's going to listen. So big.
…
"Okay?" she simply says.
And Shego proceeds to begin with a sigh. "I'm getting out of the game, Kim. I'm done."
…
Kim's eyes widen, and her heart begins pounding even more. It's not at all what she expected Shego to say, even if she really had no idea what to expect.
"What?" is all she can get out.
…
"I'm tired, Kim. I'm tired of helping Drakken with his stupid plans, I'm tired of going through the motions week in and week out. I'm tired of Snowman Hank… I'm even tired of… fighting you…"
"What- what do you mean?" Kim nervously asks.
"Kim, the only fun I have doing this crap is trying to kick your ass," she admits with a somber little smile. "It gave me something to look forward to…"
Kim just watches on with all of these conflicted feelings as Shego continues revealing this information.
…
"But… It just- got old. No matter how hard I try, you always win… And don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want you to let me win. That'd be worse than losing…"
Her smile fades.
"I just, I don't know… I'm not happy anymore. It's not fun anymore… I used to get excited when you'd swoop in all 'here to save the day'... Now, honestly… Nothing makes me excited… I just feel- empty…"
…
It's all very sudden for Kim. At the proverbial drop of the hat, Shego's gone from bitter enemy- to the girl pouring her heart out.
There's dissonance, sure. Shego's a bad guy, a true heel. She's not supposed to have feelings.
And yet, all Kim can feel is… sympathy. Maybe not even that. Maybe it's something... more. Something… deeper.
Like, she knows what she means.
…
But, it probably doesn't matter. Because, at the second drop of a hat, Shego goes right back to being herself.
"Why am I telling you all of this? It's not like you understand…" she coldy tells Kim as she crosses her arms and looks away.
…
Kim thinks it over for a moment, trying to decide just what to say to that. She wants to say the right thing, the perfect thing to make this a turning point in their relationship. She said herself she's sick of fighting, sick of this lifestyle…
...
"Maybe… It's time for a change…" Kim softly speaks.
...
Shego faces her again, somewhat easing up.
So Kim continues, and leans up to place her hand on her shoulder. Which, is too awkward, especially given their being stuck together and all, and she takes it back off.
"Shego… It's obvious you're tired of being Drakken's-"
"Easy Kim," Shego sharply tells her.
"...Assistant," Kim settles for. "You're capable of so much more than doing his dirty work. I've seen it," Kim asserts.
"Pshhh… If you're thinking about when I was messed up by Electronique's attitudinator, remember that that wasn't the real me…" Shego says, referring to the time she was briefly turned into a regular nice person.
…
"Fine, but still… You owe it to yourself to be happy Shego. You owe it to yourself to try and live your life to the fullest!" Kim tells her. "As long as nobody gets hurt," she's sure to add.
…
Shego sighs. "You're probably right," she admits. She sullenly takes her phone back out, and unlocks it before handing it to Kim.
Skeptically, she accepts the phone, and looks down to it.
…
The screen displays a vacation booking site, with places like Key Largo, the Bahamas, and Belize highlighted by Shego.
Kim looks back up to her with concern in her eyes.
"Why are you showing me this?"
…
"Drakken knows this lawyer, who knows this guy. A guy who can help me start over… Change my life," Shego explains. "I know I can't live a normal life, Kim. Not after all the things I've done," she remorsefully says.
"Well… Maybe you could," Kim feignedly says back. "I mean, yeah, you've done some bad things… But all things considered, you've never done anything… Horrible," she says with a little more conviction.
…
Shego waves her off. "No Kim, I'm a bad guy. I always have been. I've hurt everyone who's ever tried to care about me, and I don't deserve a second chance… I'm going to call this guy, and I'm never looking back," she boldly states.
But then she remembers she's where Kim's butt used to be, and vice versa.
"...That's- assuming Drakken can fix this."
…
Another moment falls into silence. Shego just mulls to herself while Kim tries to think of the right, perfect thing to say again.
As she does, she sneaks little glances at Shego here and there. Not full-on looks, just… little glances.
They're so close after all, it's kind of hard not to.
…
And the more she studies her, the more she remembers… She's beautiful. It never really donned on her as she villainously fought with her all those times, but when she was "Miss Go" for a short while, she saw her in this new light.
Seeing her so vulnerable again, even more so now that she's confided in her something so personal, so intimate…
It makes her feel something new for her.
…
She tries putting her hand on her shoulder again, and this time, she doesn't stop herself. Shego looks back into her green eyes, and Kim makes a point to look back into them without hesitation.
"Shego… We're getting out of this, one way or another. I always say anything's possible for a Possible but- the hell with that. Anything's possible for you, Shego… And I mean that."
…
The apprehension of Shego's behalf disappears. The look of pain in her eyes is replaced by something new and wonderful, just like Kim's feeling.
And for a while, they just stare into each other's eyes, sharing whatever this new, wonderful science of understanding is between them.
…
Until some unwelcome guests arrive…