A/N: I started another fic. Sorry not. This is kind of like Don't Look Behind You, but with a different, not so completely creepy twist and definitely not around snow. This story will jump back and forth between different perspectives, as well! I hope you guys like this idea that I couldn't pass up on writing. I don't own SVU or its characters. Enjoy!

Saturday – 10:45 a.m.

"Hello, LA!"

Rafael was almost positive that if he rolled his eyes any harder the next time something stupid came flying out of Carisi's mouth, they would end up rolling right out of their sockets. He was shocked they hadn't already, because this had to be at least the thirtieth time since this morning that he'd done it. Dealing with the chipper detective through long lines at LaGuardia and then a four-hour flight to LAX…he was thankful Liv had gotten the seat next to his and Amanda took the brunt of taller man's annoying disposition.

"Remind me again why we took him?"

Rafael snorted at Rita, who walked next to him in what had to be the most casual clothes he's ever seen her in. Jeans, a t-shirt tucked in that very obviously didn't belong to her (rather it belonged to her boyfriend), and tennis shoes. She looked relaxed and ready to start this vacation, along with Fin, who had opted to brave the cold in New York with some shorts and flip flops, knowing they were going to wind up in hot and sunny weather when they stepped off the plane.

"We kind of had to," Liv cut in, appearing next to Rafael with Noah shuffling next to her. The little boy took his hand immediately, making him smile. "Otherwise we'd all feel bad and wouldn't be able to enjoy this cruise."

"Plus, he would be blowing all of our phones up and asking us to bring back souvenirs."

Carisi glanced behind them, seeing that Amanda, who had Jesse on her hip, had fallen back with the and heard what she said. He scoffed, "I can hear you guys."

"So?" Rafael chuckled at Fin's quick retort, effectively shutting the younger man up. Despite the annoyed look on he had on his face since Liv's Uber had picked him up that morning, he was feeling pleasantly content being away from the city and looking forward to a week-long Mexico cruise with white, sandy beaches and plenty of sun. He'd been craving a dip in the ocean and an exotic, fruity drink he would only indulge in in a foreign country.

However, getting to this point of contentment had involved Liv dragging him, kicking and screaming. He remembered back to when she first called him, and suggested the idea, flat out telling her no before she could even give him the full details.

"Rafa, you didn't even let me finish!"

"That's because I know where this is going and the answer is no. I'm way too busy with work- "

"You're always too busy with work and you already have vacation time racked up at the firm, you told me yourself."

Rafael wanted to stomp his foot for opening his mouth and telling her such things. He should have known it would have come back to bite him in the ass in some way. It always did. However, he was slightly glad he wasn't working for the D.A.'s office anymore, otherwise she probably would have talked McCoy into forcing him on a vacation whether he wanted to or not.

"It's short notice."

"It's a month from now."

He sighed heavily, "Liv…"

"Rafa. C'mon, it'll be fun. It's been two months since you've resigned and…we hardly get to see each other anymore and I know you're working yourself to the bone…I think a vacation would be good for you. It would be better for me if you came along, too."

He bit his lip, hearing the pleading tone in her voice and his decision start to sway. They really hadn't had that much time together since he left. She was busy with victims and cases and he was busy with his new job, working immigration at one of the top firms in the city. They'd been able to meet up a few times, but nothing like it had been before. Plus, thinks were slightly awkward between them, not knowing where their relationship stood. That had probably been the hardest part about this whole adjustment. The not knowing. Screw everything else.

"Beaches, alcohol, good company…," she teased, voice playful. She sounded so full of hope and he knew she was pouting, even without seeing her. He wished he could.

"What do you say?"

He groaned, decision already being made without any more serious thought. He really couldn't pass up some time with one of his favorite people. "Alright. Fine. But, you're getting me drunk the first night we get on board."

"Yes!" He smiled at her excited exclamation, "Where is this cruise anyway? Noah's going, right? Oh man, is it a Disney cruise? Please tell me I didn't just agree to subject myself to endless sing-a-long's and kids shows, did I?"

"Yes and no. No Disney cruise but we're headed to Mexico."

He sighed, happy he managed to dodge that bullet. He was looking forward to spending time with Noah, who would no doubt be an excited bundle of energy the entire time, but he was also looking forward to spending time with Liv, alone. It would give them the chance to work through whatever they needed to to get back to how it was before...or possibly move forward and onto something better, which was what he truly wanted.

"Ok. Good. Glad to heart it."

"Oh, and one more thing."

"That is?"

"The rest of the squad is coming along and all of our rooms are right next to each other. But, I have to get back to work now, so I'll let you go, call you later, bye!"

Rafael stood in his office, mouth hanging open and listened to the dial tone ringing loudly in his ear. He'd just been suckered into a week-long cruise with the rest of her squad…

He suddenly wished it was Disney cruise now…

When they hit the sidewalk, they immediately shuffled into a shuttle bus that ran from the airport to the port where their ship was taking off from. Amanda and Carisi, the ultimate planners of this big family trip, made sure they weren't waiting hours upon hours just so they could board the ship and, instead, gave them little less than an hour to wait before they started boarding passengers.

They all sat cramped in the back of the bus, the heat sweltering against the leather seats, but Rafael didn't mind it in the least. Liv had been quickly shoved herself in the seat next to his, knowing he wasn't about to tolerate being pressed up a random stranger, or worse, one of her detectives. He was glad she knew him well enough to make sure that wouldn't happen.

"Glad you came?"

He snorted and shook his head, snatching the sunglasses he grabbed out of his bag before they left the plane and slid them on his face. Liv smiled at him, brown eyes taking in every inch of his somewhat tense expression with great detail. "I guess. We'll see once we're on the boat and I've had four drinks before we've left the port."

She rolled her eyes dramatically, "A week with you…what was I thinking?" She glanced behind their seat, seeing Noah and Jesse giggling at the tablet Liv grabbed out of her bag in order to keep them preoccupied throughout the ride to the ship.

He reached out and playfully pinched her thigh, that was pressed up against his in the small seat. He would admit he kind of liked having her pressed against him like that…but he quickly slid away from those dangerous thoughts. No need to head in that direction. Not until they could be alone and have their talk.

That was one of the many stipulations he'd had when she called him later the day, giving him ample time to think about ground rules.

"I will not. WILL NOT. Room with Carisi. I'd rather French kiss a pig than listen to him talk about Italian food and his nieces."

"He's already decided to share with Amanda, so you can room with me."

That wasn't a bad idea at all, not in his book. Of course, maybe he would regret it once they were actually there, but for now, he could live with it. "I also expect to get ample time by the pool and on the beach, so I don't anyone trying to drag me across the tourist destinations unless I want to, got it?"

"Yes, sir," she said sarcastically. She probably mock saluted too, just for the hell of it.

"Also…," he trailed reluctantly. He cleared his throat, tone growing more serious, "At some point, I'd like for us to talk about things. Us. I know I kind of left things up in the air and confused you and I'm sorry for that…I just feel like we both still have things to say…"

"I know I do," she responded, "I've been wanting to talk, too. Get things off my chest. We can definitely do that. I think it's long overdue."

"Good. I'm glad."

"I think I've been a perfect angel this entire time."

"Shockingly enough. No one's gotten their head ripped off yet and you're not glaring at anyone…man, who are you and what have you done with my Rafa?"

He ignored the spiral of butterflies in his stomach at her words and threw her a playfully annoyed glance, "I'm his angelic twin brother. We traded spots so he didn't have to deal with all of you people."

"Angelic, eh? I wouldn't say that."

He just chuckled and leaned back, enjoying listening to her talk about how much she was already missing Noah, and how she couldn't wait to get him on Face Time as soon as the boarded. He was also enjoying the sight of the beach coming into view. He'd never been out to LA, although he didn't think he would like it very much. New York City had his heart, with its crowded streets and rude inhabitants, but it was going to be nice to take a break from it all and get some sun. He hadn't had a vacation in a long while, just the rest of his "friends", and he even though most of them got on his nerves, he wasn't going to waste it by being grumpy and uncooperative.

"So, I'm thinking we check out the buffet first thing. I'm starving and I hear its Las Vegas quality. Like, I can get a cannoli on the same plate as fried rice and tamales. How awesome is that?"

"Why the hell would you pair a cannoli with fried rice?" Rita shot him a confused look from her seat next to his and Amanda, also sending the same questioning glance to the blonde, who was too busy reading through the cruise ship pamphlet in her hand.

"What?" Carisi looked genuinely confused as to why she would be asking that question. "Sweet and savory? Dessert and lunch at the same time? This is a vacation, we're supposed to eat like we haven't seen food in years."

Rita shook her head at Fin and mumbled something under her breath that made him laugh.

"Please tell me it's not going to be like this the entire time with you two," Liv groaned next to him, "Because I'll ship myself back to New York and spend the week soaking in my bathtub. I'd rather do that then listen to you go back and forth."

"No, you're not," Amanda looked up finally, "You're not leaving me with all of these crazies. You're the sane one."

Fin scoffed, "I'm offended Rollins. Out of everyone, I'm the most chill." Rita snorted and rolled her eyes, bringing her nails up to inspect them so she didn't catch the look her boyfriend sent her.

"Out of everyone right now, Rafa is the most chill surprisingly," Liv gestured to him and he bit back a small smirk, keeping his eyes glued to the ship coming into view. The window by his seat was cracked, and he could hear the seagulls flying over the beach and smell the salty air mingled with greasy food and car fumes. It was the exact vision he had for this overcrowded city. It was a definite change in scenery, but he couldn't wait until they got on the boat and out to sea.

"I'll be even more chill when I get to the bar."

Liv placed her hand on his and shook it a little, giggling at him. She didn't move it for the entirety of their shuttle ride there. He didn't mind in the least, either.

Once they made it through the heinously long process of checking in their luggage, getting on the ship and then going through the trouble of finding their rooms, all lined up back-to-back, Rafael was truly relaxed. Even on this tiny twin size bed that was exceptionally close to Liv's and wasn't exactly the most comfortable. Not compared to his king size bed. He cradled his head in his hands and closed his eyes, listening to the low hum of the ship and the quiet murmur of the small, mounted television in their cabin. Liv had turned it on while she tutted around, unpacking a few clothes and a swim suit she intended on changing into.

Almost immediately, Liv, Rita, and Amanda decided that checking out the large pool deck was the first thing on their list to do. Never mind the buffet or checking out the casino or the bars and spa. The hot weather warranted a dip in the cool, refreshing water, so that's what they decided on doing. The kids were going to join them, and Noah had already disappeared over into Amanda and Carisi's cabin with Jesse, no doubt talking excitedly about the playroom they passed on the way to their rooms.

"You sure you don't want to join? You can order drinks by the pool, too."

He cracked open one eye to see her standing, barefoot, in the doorway to their small bathroom. She was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a tank top, the straps of her bright blue swim top peeking out through the white top. She had sunglasses up in her hair that was pulled up and away from her face and a beaming smile on her face, looking truly relaxed.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and willed himself to speak, "Uh, no. No. Maybe in a bit. I'm starving. Carisi talking about that damn buffet all the way from the airport worked up an appetite."

Liv laughed and deposited her neatly folded clothes into one drawer of the small dresser under the television and stepped over to her bed. They sat so close together her knees nearly touched his bedspread. He turned his head to look at her, smiling back.

"I'm glad you came. I really am. I know we've had a rough few months…with everything happening and us not talking that much. I've missed you, a lot."

Rafael sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his legs wide enough her knees fit in the space between his. He was very aware of how close they sat, but Liv didn't look the slightest bit tense or uncomfortable with it, and that gave him enough courage to reach out and grab her hands in his.

"I've missed you, too. I'm glad you asked me to come, as well."

"More like begged you."

He chuckled, "True. But I'm glad I listened. I think this is something that's going to be good for us. All of us, actually."

She squeezed his hands, thumbs running over his fingers, "We'll have that talk later, ok? Maybe after dinner? We can find someplace quiet?"

"Definitely," he said softly, enjoying the closeness. They gazed into each other's eyes for a few moments before a knock at the door and Amanda's voice, along with Noah's loud 'Mommy!' on the other side broke their spell. Liv leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Get those swim trunks on. I expect to see your ass on a floatie in the pool in an hour."

Rafael chuckled and let go of her hands reluctantly, heart hammering in his chest with the feeling of her lips on his check still lingering. He watched as she grabbed a towel, her bag, and a bottle of water. She winked over her shoulder before she left the room, leaving him to flop back against his mattress, feeling a weight lifting off his shoulders that had been there since that day outside of the court house.

He had no more doubt lingering about that talk they were going to have, like he had that morning when she picked him up at his apartment.

"You had your three cups of coffee this morning, right?" He slid into her car easily, trying his best to be quiet when he closed the door, since Noah was passed out in the back. He didn't need to wake up until they were at the airport.

Rafael nodded and ran a hand through his hair, trying to tame the product less locks into submission. It wasn't working but he was beyond the point of caring that much. He had slept like crap and it was far too early in the morning, and he was wearing jeans and a hoodie that wasn't doing much to keep him warm, but that wasn't the point. They were going to be in LA in a few hours where the heat was a record high for this time of year and he wasn't about to go through the hassle of bringing a winter coat and carrying it around.

"Good. I bought you another one."

He cracked a tired smile and took the latte from her hand, sipping it and glancing at her gratefully. "You spoil me, Liv."

"I don't want my head to get chewed off by sleepy Barba. You're a real dick when you're exhausted."

"That I am," he snorted and the car descended into silence. The sun was coming up and the traffic was going to start picking up soon. It was a Saturday, so that meant the airport was probably going to be slammed by the time they got there. But, his mind was too preoccupied with other things to worry about that. He would take standing in line at the airport for an hour over the thoughts swirling around in his head.

Part of the reason he couldn't sleep last night was the utter worry he had regarding the woman driving. There was a slight strain between them, raised by him and his actions alone. Not because of the case or what he did, but because of the way he left and uttered those words to her. It was nearly an admission of love, but he told her he had to move on and left it there hanging between them. They didn't talk for a week after, but had finally began to again after that period of time. They barely had time to get together now, but it was still made possible at least once a week.

But beside all that, there was that talk that he told her he wanted to have. When the words had slipped out of his mouth, he wondered what plan his subconscious had concocted without his knowledge. He was ready to face the music, but telling his best friend he was in love with her? On a cruise ship? In the middle of the ocean? She had readily agreed and trapped him into it, causing it to be the one thing he contemplated the most over the month long wait for this trip. He tried speech after speech, trying to come up with the words necessary to convey his feelings for her. Every single one ended up with him jumping off the side of the ship and into the ocean so he didn't have to face the rejection.

Had this trip happened a few months before, he was almost confident his admission would end in them riding off into the sunset together. Now? He wasn't even sure she would be able to face him after he told her. And even with that knowledge, he still had to tell her. No matter the outcome, he had to tell her, because it was beginning to eat him alive.

When they got together for dinner at her place or Forlini's, and discussed their days and talked about Noah or her detectives or even Stone, he could only really think about how much he missed her and needed her and how beautiful she was and how much he loved her and her son. He wanted to say all of those things and lean over the table and kiss her each time, but he couldn't ever bring himself to open his mouth about it.

This trip…was going to change that. For better or for worse.

With that kiss on the cheek and the wink she threw over her shoulder, his doubt had faded and left way for a hope hadn't felt in a long while. It made his insides flutter like they had earlier, when she was pressed into his side in the bus.

He looked forward to her possibly being pressed against him tonight, when he told her how he truly felt. The odds were tipped in his favor, it seemed, but he didn't want to get his hopes up at the same time. So, he rifled through his luggage and slipped into his brand-new pair of swim shorts and slipped his glasses onto his head and a pair of sandals on his feet.

For now, he was going to let all that thinking go and hit the buffet with Fin and Carisi, who had knocked on the door just a few seconds ago, dressed similarly to him and ready to eat. He was ready to start this vacation now, with the hope he didn't have when they left New York that morning.