Hello, my loveys! Long time no post, huh? How has everyone been? Me? Well...it's been a rough few months, but eh. Whatever. Anyway, I was watching War of the Worlds (13x07) for the third time today, and when Cas said "I'll have to talk to Sam and Dean." this popped into my head. I got so tickled I ended up a little teary. It's short, but enjoy, and please let me know what you think! ~SG
Castiel's New Friends
"Where'd you run off to?" Dean asked, popping the top off a beer as Cas came into the kitchen.
"I bought myself a present." Cas announced, holding up two clear plastic bags full of water and...
"Goldfish?" Dean questioned.
"Yes. Goldfish." Cas confirmed. "I decided to get a pet, and you're allergic to cats and don't like dogs. Fish seemed like a neutral option."
"That's very considerate of you."
"Do they have names?" Sam asked, taking a genuine interest in the angel's new pets.
"This is Salmon Dean." Cas announced, raising the bag in his left hand. He grinned proudly as he held up the second bag. "And this is Salmon Sam."
Sam smiled in amusement, and Dean choked on his beer. "Salmon Dean and Salmon Sam?"
"Yes." Cas said. "I named them after you and Sam. People name pets and children after their loved ones all the time, do they not?"
Dean set his beer on the table, trying to figure out the best way to gently explain why the names really didn't make sense. "Well, yeah, but you can't name 'em Salmon Dean and Salmon Sam."
"Why not?" Cas asked. "They're my fish."
"Because they don't make any sense, Cas." Dean said, trying not to sound mean because he didn't want to hurt Cas' feelings. "That's why."
"How do they not make sense?" Cas challenged. "They're brothers just like you and Sam. This one's Salmon Dean, so why shouldn't it make sense for his brother to be Salmon Sam?"
"Well, for one thing, they're goldfish, not salmon." Dean explained.
"They didn't have any salmon at the pet store." Cas argued. "I asked. The man at the register gave me a weird look, and told me they had goldfish. So I bought goldfish. I thought about buying an angle fish as well, and naming it Salmon Cas, but I decided to see how I do with Salmon Dean and Salmon Sam first."
"They're fish." Dean said. "You feed 'em once or twice a day, and clean the tank out every once in a while so they're not swimming around in their own poop. I don't think they'll be too much trouble."
"What made you decide to get a pet in the first place, Cas?" Sam asked, trying to keep Dean from saying anything else. He had a hard time with adoration, and his usual reaction was rude. Sam knew he wasn't trying to be mean about the names Cas had chosen for his fish, but he thought it would be a good idea to start steering the conversation in a different direction so a fight didn't break out over goldfish.
"Well, while you and Dean are out hunting I tend to spend a lot of time here by myself if I'm not out trying to clean up one of my own catastrophic messes." Cas explained as he joined the brothers at the table. "Sometimes I get lonely. I thought a pet might help, and there is more to the story of how they got their names if you're interested."
"Shoot." Dean said.
"I was surfing the internet the other day, and I discovered the Supernatural fandom." Cas explained, putting air quotes around the last two words. "I'm not sure how I feel about having fans, but they're very creative."
"We know." Sam and Dean said in unison, each of them thinking back to the encounters they'd had over the years with their fans.
"Well, I cam across a piece of what they call fan art." Cas continued, adding more air quotes. "Someone had drawn Dean as a fish, and called it Salmon Dean. It seems to be some kind of joke within the fandom, and I thought it was cute."
"I guess that makes sense." Dean said. "And if you have a Salmon Dean of course you would want a Salmon Sam too. He's even got Sam's hair."
Sam looked over at the fish swimming around in their temporary homes, and realized that Dean was sort of right. Salmon Sam had an abnormally long dorsal fin that flopped over to one side.
"That's why he's Salmon Sam." Cas explained.
"Are Salmon Dean's fins a little more...bowfinned than normal?"
Dean shot his brother a dirty look, but Cas only smirked. "I thought so too."
Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed his beer, glancing over at the fish. "Where the hell did Salmon Dean come from anyway? The original idea, not the fish."
"Someone realized that if you don't enunciate when you say Sam and Dean it sounds like Salmon Dean." Sam explained.
"And that's why it should be Dean and Sam." Dean said. "That and the fact that I was born first. There fore my name should come first, but how do you even know that?"
Sam's face did a wonderful job of expressing how uncomfortable he was with the secret he was about to share.
"Becky e-mails me fandom stuff every once in a while." he explained.
"Crazy Becky, you're ex-wife?" Dean asked for clarification even though he had no doubt it was the same Becky. "You're still talking to her?"
"No." Sam said firmly. "She e-mails me. I rarely reply. She really isn't so bad though. I'm just glad she's finally stopped sending me the stories she writes."
"Slash?" Dean asked, somewhat proud of the fact that he knew what it meant even though it made his skin crawl.
"Yeah."
"Ew."
"Yeah."
"Well," Dean said, deciding that the conversation had taken a very unpleasant turn. "How about we go get the Salmon Winchesters set up in their new home?"
Cas smiled as Dean gathered up the fish, happy that his new companions had been welcomed into the home he shared with his two best friends even though there had been some mild drama over the names he had chosen. Maybe he would get a Salmon Cas. Maybe even a Salmon Crowley.