A Little Experimenting
Summary: Lilo and Stitch think back to the days when they were experiment catchers. When Lilo brings up Spike, an argument starts. An arguement Stitch believes needs to be settled by a little experimenting...
Genre- Humor
Lilo and her best friend Stitch laid on the cool wet grass while their eyes stayed locked on the sky above them. As they watched the clouds pass by, they talked about old times. The times when they were experiment catchers. They loved the fact that they wouldn't have to go through any more danger, but they missed those days. As they conversed, Lilo all of a sudden chuckled until it turned into laughter.
Stitch tore his gaze from the sky to look at his life long best friend. "What are you laughing about?" He asked. Thanks to living on Earth for almost his whole life, his English improved big time. He now speaks as if he was human himself.
She turned her head to face the blue alien beside her. "I was just thinking about the time when Spike pricked you."
A smile tugged on Stitch's lips as he remembered that day. "You didn't think it was so funny back then."
"That's because I was young. Now, looking back, it was pretty funny! You were such a dodo bird!" Lilo exclaimed.
His eyebrow rose. "And do you think you would be Miss Smarty-Pants if he pricked you?"
"No, but I know I won't be so..."
"Stupid? Just say it Lilo, but know this. If Spike pricked you, then you'll be stupider than I was."
"Oh really?" Lilo asked as she stood on her feet. "You can't prove that!"
Stitch smiled mischievously. "Oh yes I can."
Lilo blinked and took a step back. "Stitch, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking then you better stop thinking!"
"What if I am thinking what you think I'm thinking?"
"Then you better stop thinking!"
"I'm thinking Lilo..." Stitch drawled as he gazed into Lilo's eyes.
She noticed the slyness in his eyes and felt slight fear enter her. "Then stop thinking Stitch!"
With that, Lilo left in a huff. Stitch chuckled, it was so fun being friends with Lilo. The big fun is getting in a fight with her then proves her wrong in the end. This argument made Stitch think back to Spike. He knew he was such a weirdo then, but how would Lilo act if that happened to her? Would she be better, worse, or just the same? This question made Stitch want to answer it. Being the curious experiment he is, he went off in search of a certain experiment.
Stitch went into town until he spotted Spike's Relaxation Center. Since the experiments could speak English now, it was easy for them to communicate with the Earthlings. Spike now works at his Relaxation Center, listening to people's problems. He gives them strong advice then hugs them to make them better. Stitch stopped in front of the building. He raised his fist and rapped at the door for a couple of times. Finally, the door opened and there stood his porcupine looking cousin. Spike yelped with glee as he put his arms around Stitch to pull him into a friendly hug.
"Good to see you too Spike, but there's no time for hugging. I need you to do a favor for me."
"Anything Stitch." Spike responded, his tail swishing side to side in an excited gesture.
Stitch grinned as he narrowed his eyes in a mischievous manner. This was going to be fun!
Meanwhile, Lilo was at home relaxing on the couch. Jumba and Pleakley were inside the ship while Nani left for work early. She lay lazily on the red sofa with the remote in her hand. Bored, she flipped through channels to find an interesting show. When she flipped to cartoons, she left it alone and watched Tom and Jerry. She and Stitch's favorite TV show when they were bored.
Without warning, the door swung open. Lilo turned her head to see Stitch and a very familiar experiment beside him. She gasped for the experiment was Spike. Apprehensiveness flashed in her eyes as she turned off the TV and gaze at them as if they were strangers.
"Stitch? I thought you were kidding." Lilo replied in a quivering voice as she stared at Spike.
"What can I say Lilo? I'm a curious experiment. Besides, you'll be fine. Spike, sick her!" Stitch commanded.
Spike ran over to Lilo who flung herself off the couch. She tried to jump, but Spike pounced on her. When he did that, one of his spikes protruded through Lilo's skin. The porcupine made sure he inserted his spike in her gently so she wouldn't bleed or in pain. Lilo winced as the spike worked its magic through her entire body. She felt as if she lost control of her actions. Her mind blanked out for a second then when her eyes opened, both experiments knew she was gone.
"Duh... I'm a ballerina!"
Lilo pushed Spike off her and began dancing around the living room. She moved with anything, but grace. Her legs were wobbly and her arms stuck straight out as she twirled, nearly hitting Stitch and Spike. They watched as she spun then crashed into the bookcase. The experiments cringed as the bookcase fell and the books piled on top of the girl. Stitch ran over to help her, but the books started moving. He stepped back and noticed, with relief, that she was fine.
The little girl laughed with joy as she ran into Stitch's arms and held him in a childish hug. "Daddy! Can I do that again?"
"What!" Stitch hollered as he immediately detached himself from Lilo. "Did you call me Daddy?" Lilo nodded her head. "I am not your Daddy!"
"Then, Dada?"
Spike chortled, causing Stitch to glare at him. "No."
"Mama?"
This time, the porcupine could careless if Stitch beat him mercilessly. He cracked up and pounded his fists on the floor. Stitch turned from his cousin to Lilo. "No, Stitch."
"You're going to stitch?" Lilo asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No, I'm Stitch."
"You're a stitch?"
"My name is Stitch!"
Lilo laughed. "That's funny!"
"What is?" He groaned.
"Your name!"
"But you named me!"
Lilo started laughing even more hilariously. "You said but!" Then she cracked up again. "I said but too! Haha! I said it again!"
Spike came up to Stitch and put his paw on his shoulder almost sympathetically. "Good luck."
With that, he left the house. Stitch growled as he looked at Lilo. This was going to be a long two days. He was certain of that.
Later on, two experiments sat on the hammock underneath the bright sun. One of the experiments was Stitch and the other was his precious girlfriend, Angel. He held her near to him as they gazed up into the sky, just reveling in each other's embrace. Angel purred as she nuzzled his chest lovingly, causing the blue experiment to purr with her.
She reached up to lick the bridge of his nose up to his forehead. He smiled and licked her the same way, but ended it with a peck on the forehead. She giggled girlishly, kissing him on the lips. Stitch smiled as he returned Angel's kiss, running his hands through her soft pink fur. A white flash from a camera interrupted their kiss.
Stitch looked up to see who ruined the moment, ready to kick their little keister from here to China. Much to his dismay, it was Lilo with her camera on a strap, which was around her neck. He growled angrily.
Lilo took the photo and laughed. "Oooh! I wonder what Pleakley could use it for!"
Stitch dropped his mad expression into that of panic. "Lilo! Give me the photo!"
"You'll have to catch me!" She cried as she raced off.
He growled. "I'm so getting tired of chasing after that girl. Sorry Angel, but can we continue this tomorrow?"
Angel smiled sweetly then leaned over to give him a peck on the lips. Stitch knew that meant she accepted his apology. She jumped off the hammock to run back to her home. Stitch ran after Lilo, easily catching up with her. The little girl looked behind her and, noticing her chaser was using his sonic speed, side stepped out of the way and watched him as he ran past her.
Stitch turned his head to see Lilo holding up the colored photo of him and Angel kissing. He growled as he skidded to a halt and ran back over to where the little girl stood. He jumped and tackled her to the ground, snatching the photo out of her hand. He immediately shredded it in his claws and let the wind carry it away. Lilo pouted underneath him, causing him to smirk down at her. She stuck her tongue out and he did the same thing. She made a spitting noise with her tongue and he copied. She folded her arms across her chest and turned her head away from him, still pouting.
He rolled his eyes then leapt off her. She then took a sudden interest in the tricycle that leaned against the wall of their carport. She looked over at Stitch.
"Daddy! Can you give me a ride on the tricycle?" She asked.
Stitch moaned his displeasure. "I'm not Daddy!"
Lilo totally disregarded his correction. "Give me a ride Daddy! Please?"
"No."
Lilo pouted again and Stitch rolled his eyes. Out of nowhere, Lilo kicked his shin, causing him to buckle and fall to the floor. He cursed in turian under his breath. As he stayed on the ground, Lilo hopped on top of him. "I want a ride! NOW!"
"Fine!" Stitch cried exasperated. "Just get off me!"
Lilo jumped off and he turned to glare at her. He tried to remind himself that Lilo was just under Spike's spell and she will recover in the next two days, but right now, he was seriously ready to lock her in a closet. He cursed a bad word under his breath, but Lilo heard it and she was full of questions.
"What does blitznac mean?" She asked.
Stitch froze. (I know Gantu says this all the time on the show, so it must be a bad word on Earth. I'm thinking it means the d word or the f word, but to make it funny, it means the f word.) "You did not hear that!"
"What does blitznac mean Daddy?" She enquired.
"Lilo! Stop saying that!" Stitch demanded.
"Then tell me what blitznac means!"
Growling, Stitch just walked over to her and lifted her over his shoulder. He put her on the seat behind him and climbed in the front. He sped off in the direction of the beach. Lilo and Stitch noticed Keoni Jameson flirting with a girl that seemed to be the same age for him. Lilo yelled at Stitch to stop and he obeyed. He watched as the girl ran to Keoni's direction. He grumbled, knowing what she was going to do wasn't going to be good. He chased after her, but it was too late. She stood in front of Keoni, her back facing the girl.
"You're hot!" She yelled loudly in front of him.
Stitch slapped his forehead as he ran to Lilo and grasped her arm. " Come on Lilo."
Lilo stayed rooted to the spot, fighting against Stitch's grip. " Do you want to date me cutie?"
Keoni raised his eyebrows. "Lilo, what are you doing?"
"Let me go Daddy! Ow, that hurts! What are you- Ahh! Put me down now!" Lilo cried as Stitch finally gave up in tugging her away from Keoni and resorted to just picking her up bridal style instead. She kicked and screamed as he carried her off and sat her in the seat behind him.
"Lilo! You were making a fool of yourself! You should be thanking me. Worshipping me is more like it." Stitch grumbled to himself.
"I think he liked me."
"He thought you were out of your mind!"
"No he didn't."
"Yes he did."
"No he didn't."
"Yes he did!"
"Stop yelling at me!"
"I'm not yelling at you!"
"Yes you are!"
"That's because you're yelling at me!"
"I was not yelling at you!"
"You are now."
"Just take me home Daddy."
"I am NOT your Daddy!"
"See? You're yelling at me again!"
Stitch growled even louder as he turned the tricycle around to head home. He parked the tiny bike in the carport then stomped into the house with Lilo following him. He swung the door open to see Jumba and Pleakley on the couch staring at them in surprise. They noticed Stitch was very perturbed while the little girl behind him, who they knew was Lilo, looked gleeful as she skipped into the house.
"Coming in Daddy?" She asked as if their little argument never happened.
"I'M NOT YOUR DADDY! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY THAT LILO! My name is STITCH! You named ME that!" He shouted with his hand over his face.
Lilo remained unfazed even through his yelling. "You got a bad temper Daddy. Why are you always yelling at me?"
"For the last time... I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU!" Stitch shouted.
"Yes you are."
"No, I'm not!"
"You are."
"I'm not!"
"Are you not noticing your voice is rising? My voice is calm, I'm not yelling. You're voice is loud, you are yelling."
"I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU LILO! I'M YELLING AT MYSELF! BLITZNAC! I NEVER SHOULD'VE USED SPIKE ON YOU! ME AND MY BLITZNAC CURIOSITY!"
Lilo tilted her head. "What does blitznac mean!"
"Argh! I'm so stupid. Just, get on up to your room! You are grounded!" Stitch shouted then shook his head when she turned and left to go up in the elevator with a huff. He slapped himself in the face. "What have I done?"
"Hm, seems to me Little Girl was being pecked by 319 am I right 626?" Jumba asked in his intrigued voice. The miserable experiment nodded his head. "Evil Genius Jumba is being intrigued."
"Well I'm not! Having poor Lilo being pricked by one of Jumba's hideous monster is just wrong! It's wrong and it's evil! How dare you do that to poor Lilo." Pleakley replied indignantly.
Stitch growled. "Poor Lilo? How about poor me! She has been driving me crazy! First, she keeps calling me Daddy. Second, she takes a picture of Angel and me kissing! Thirdly, she kicks me in the shin when I disagree to ride her around on the tricycle! She calls Keoni hot, right in front of his face! Now, she keeps asking what blitznac means! SHE IS DRIVING ME INSANE!"
"You and Angel kissed?" Asked Pleakley in a lovey dovey voice. As if that was the only thing he heard. "And Lilo took a picture of it? Where is it!"
Stitch's mouth dropped open. "Pleakley! Did you not hear any other word I said? You- Argh! Jumba, there must be an antidote!"
Jumba shook his head. "Sorry 626, but I guess you're just going to have to deal with a dumb Little Girl for 48 hours."
"ARGH!" Stitch cried out as he turned to the wall and began banging his head on it. "I'm (thump) an (thump) idiot! (thump thump) ARGH! (thump thump thump thump thump)
The day went by agonizingly slow for Stitch. He had to deal with a basically drunk Lilo the whole day. When she didn't get what she wanted, she kicked him hard in the shins, causing the experiment to crumble to the ground. For a petite girl she sure did have one heck of a kick. Finally, Nani came home and Stitch made Lilo promise him she'd be on her best behavior. She shrugged and continued playing around.
It was dinnertime. Stitch had practically dragged a resisting Lilo from her bedroom. It was an odd sight really. The Pelekai family was used to see Lilo pulling Stitch around instead vice versa. Stitch had his back facing the family. His hands clutched around the young girl's ankles as he dragged her in. Lilo had her nails scraping against the polished floor, leaving scratch marks. Pleakley voiced his dismay.
"I just polished that floor!" He shouted.
Stitch growled, he was in no mood to care about Pleakley's polished floor. "Does it look like I give a rat's patookie about your polished floor!" All of a sudden, Lilo let go of the floor and began laughing crazily. Stitch groaned. "What's so funny?"
"You said patookie! That's a funny word. Patookie! Patookie! PATOOKIE! Hehehe hahaha HEHEHE HAHAHAHA!" Lilo shouted, her tears of laughter spilling forth.
"Will you stop laughing Lilo!" Stitch demanded, clearly perturbed. "Now you sit your butt on that chair! Be seen, but not heard! Oki dokey?"
"Haha! You said butt! Twice!" Lilo chuckled.
"What's wrong with saying butt?"
"Haha! You said it again! You're funny Daddy!"
"Why do you laugh so hard when somebody says butt?"
"You said it again! Haha!"
"Butt! Butt! BUTT!" He shouted out, hoping that'll shut her up.
"Ew, now it sounds disgusting. Sounds like you want to eat a butt." Lilo chortled. "I said butt!"
"Just. Eat." Stitch gritted through his teeth as he sat down in the vacant seat in between Jumba and Pleakley.
Dinner was peaceful and quiet until Lilo became tired of the silent tranquility. She threw her arms in the air, yelling which made everyone's faces turn to her. Everyone had questioning looks, but Stitch just hung his head, lowered his ears, and slapped his face with his paw with his free arm resting under it. He began to shake his head and moan unpleasantly.
Lilo started crying out, waving her arms like a mad person. "Wait just a darn, blitznac (Here, Stitch moaned even louder to voice his frustration) second here! Everybody hold your ponies! I have an announcement to make!"
"Lilo! Get off the table now young lady!" Nani screamed, causing Stitch to look up.
It was true. Lilo had crawled out her seat and sit on top of the table. She stood up to watch her audience. Stitch gasped as Lilo looked at him. She then began talking. "This is a very important announcement so everybody, SHUSH! Here it is. I'm Wonder Woman! Catch me Daddy!"
Lilo flung herself into Stitch's arms, causing the chair to give way under Lilo's forceful dive. Stitch caught her, but the chair fell backwards. Stitch's back still on the chair, but with a giggling Lilo on top of him. He felt a burning pain in not only his back, but his buttocks too. He groaned in pain just as Lilo removed herself from him. Stitch stood up shakily, wincing as the pain in his rump increased with every move of his legs. He hoisted Lilo over his shoulders like a firefighter, ignoring her pebble like fists bang on his back as he carried her into her room.
He laid her down on the bed, despite her protesting. He laid her in bed, but when he turned to walk away, she was standing up out of her bed. Stitch growled at her as his eyes glared.
"Lilo! Get in the bed! You caused enough trouble today!" Stitch yelled, but she didn't say anything or even move. He began to grow frustrated. "Lilo Pelekai! Get in your bed, or I'll have to chain you there!"
Stitch was not bluffing. When she refused, a moment later, she was chained to the bed. Stitch borrowed Pleakley's magic handcuffs, which weren't so magical so they needed a key which thankfully Stitch has, and chained her wrists to her bedpost. He harshly whispered a goodnight, then without tucking her in, he turned to his cot. It was hard to sleep due to Lilo's screams of anger, but he ignored it. Eager for the day after the next when she wouldn't be under Spike's spell anymore.
The next morning wasn't so promising either. Stitch climbed out of the bed groggily. His back still hurt, but his rump was getting better. He walked cautiously over to Lilo, who was, thankfully, asleep. Stitch was about to turn to head down the elevator until he heard Lilo rustling in the sheets. He turned back around to see her struggling. He grinned.
"Are you going to be a good girl now?" Stitch taunted.
Lilo nodded her head. "Yes Daddy."
Stitch used the key to unlock the handcuffs. As soon as Lilo got out of bed, she kicked Stitch in the knee. Not so hard, but hard enough to earn a moan out of him and fall to the floor. Lilo smirked. "That's what you get for using Spike on me!"
Stitch shook his head then stood up to glare at Lilo. Then he remembered what she said. "You're not under Spike's spell anymore? But, it's supposed to take 2 days! Not just one!"
"You dope! Spike pricked Myrtle, but she only stayed under his spell for only one day. Spike doesn't affect people that much anymore since he's good now. It's only for one day now." Lilo responded. "So, how was it to baby-sit a crazy Lilo for a day?"
"Painful." Stitch winced.
"You want to try that again and see if I'll be better this time? Or are you done with this little experiment?" Lilo enquired.
"I'm done!" Stitch shouted at her. "You are worse than me!"
Lilo frowned. "No, I wasn't! I may have been a little brutal, but you were totally out of it!"
"You kept calling me Daddy! You took a picture of Angel and me kissing! You kicked me in the shins! Lastly, you made my back and butt hurt!"
"I bet if Spike pricked you again, then you'll be just as bad as I was!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Prove it!"
They glared at each other, then laughed. Lilo shook her head. "No thanks. Our little experiment is done."
Stitch smiled. "I agree."
The
End
AN: Pretty funny huh? I thought it was funny. This was not only inspired by the episode 'Spike', but also the real life events and other TV shows. I'm horrible at humor, so I took bits out of the shows I watch. The kicking in the shins thing was from the show I Love Lucy when she had to babysit the twins. The butt thing I saw on the Fairy Oddparents. The Wonder Woman thing really happened. My Mom was drunk one night and she stood on the table to say she was Wonder Woman. I was just a baby when that happened so I really wish I could've saw it. They just told me about it. LOL! My Dad's butt still hurts! Anyway, enough about the inspiration thing, tell me what you think!