Snape looked at the papers on his desk with a weary sigh. Finally graded with only a few minutes to spare before the class arrived. It was Friday, and he was in for a lovely little double lesson with his absolute favorite class, the third year Gryffindors and Slytherins.
Whoever said trouble came in threes was only partially correct, he thought. Trouble comes in threes circling a boy named Potter.
The noise level suddenly escalated as the class came reluctantly in the open door. Potter came in, surrounded by his unholy trio: the insufferable Granger, and the Weasley twins. As usual, Potter paired up with Ron Weasley, leaving his twin to be paired with Granger.
"Silence, class," Snape said, surveying the room coldly. "I have graded your tests, and, for the most part, your marks were dismal. One might think that I spend my time teaching you lackwits for my own amusement. I do not." He pointed his wand at the test papers, and each flew back to its owner. "You will spend this class period crafting the potion that most of you failed to comprehend. I expect much better results, or there will be…consequences." Another wave of the wand, and instructions appeared on the blackboard. "Well? Have your brains turned to oatmeal? Begin!"
Students hunched over their cauldrons, stirring and adding ingredients. Granger was snapping instructions at her utterly inept partner, and was growing increasingly frustrated as time progressed. "No, not the powdered dandelion stems, we need the chopped dandelion roots!" Snape heard her exclaim as he swept by, observing. I believe that Ron Weasley's twin is more incapable of producing a proper potion than even Longbottom, he thought, which I had believed impossible.
As if to prove him correct, Granger's cauldron exploded, filling the classroom with choking purple smoke.
Snape strode over to their table, as the smoke cleared away. "Well?"
"Sir, it was—" Granger began, but was interrupted by a strange metallic chittering sound that seemed to come… from Weasley's Gryffindor badge?
Snape was turning his head to look at the badge better when it spoke.
"Picard to Ensign Crusher."
Weasley replied, "Computer, pause simulation."
Snape suddenly found himself (as well as the whole class) completely frozen, and confused. What is happening? I can't move! I can't even blink! No one has cast a curse at me. Who is talking to the Weasley boy, and calling him…Crusher? An ensign?
Weasley tapped his Gryffindor badge. "Crusher here."
"Ensign, we have extended you the courtesy of allowing you to attend a senior bridge crew meeting. It began five minutes ago," snapped the badge.
"I'm sorry, Captain Picard. I'm on my way. Crusher out." He stood, and tossed off his school robes to reveal very strange Muggle clothing underneath. Snape would have blinked in astonishment, if he'd been able to move. This boy is not a Weasley? Not a student? Who is Captain Picard? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE IN MY CLASSROOM?!
He felt very close to panic, as Weasley, no, make that Crusher raced towards the classroom door, saying, "Computer, save program and end."
Suddenly, it began to go dark in the room, and everything began to fade away to blackness interlaced with a strange green grid.
"Help me, someone, anyone!" Snape tried to scream as darkness closed around him.
Several hours later, Commander Riker strolled into the holodeck. It had been a quiet, uneventful day, except for the telling off Wesley Crusher had received after the bridge crew meeting. Riker smiled, feeling very glad he'd not ever been late for a meeting since he'd been on the Enterprise. Now it was time for some fun. Let Data play all he wanted to with his Sherlock Holmes simulations…he had one better. He looked at his reflection in the mirror in the holodeck changing room. Nice, very nice, an excellent fit of the robes. The hair was not correct, but the holodeck would fix that.
Riker walked out into the main simulator. "Computer, run program Riker HP3."
In the blink of an eye, the corridors of Hogwarts snapped into existence, with a large closed classroom door right in front of him. This is my favorite scenario. Robes in place, wand ready…here we go!
Riker pointed his wand at the door, which banged open. He strode into the classroom, pointing his wand at the shutters, which slammed shut. Reaching the front, he tugged on the rope to bring down an old-fashioned movie screen, and spun around, robes billowing around him.
"Turn to page three hundred and ninety-four."