"BENES!"
The harsh sound of the prison warden startled Elaine out of her thoughts. She didn't have to look at a clock to know what time it was. Every night, the Women's warden made the rounds, making sure that every female prisoner was in her cell.
Well, she didn't have to worry about that (the witch!). Elaine had no intention of breaking out. She was determined to be on her best behavior. After all, she only had a few days left in this place and she didn't want to stay in the Latham County Prison a second longer than she had to.
"BENES! GET OVER HERE!" the booming voice came again. Elaine rose from the hard, uncomfortable joke-of-a-bed, and dutifully walked toward the warden, separated from her by only the cruel steel bars.
"Y-you called, Arlene?"
The warden's eyes narrowed. Then, to Elaine's horror, the warden reached through the bars and grabbed Elaine's hair, causing her to bump her head against the thick metal.
"OW!"
"Look, the name's SMITH, GOT IT?" The warden yelled. "And for the record, that's WARDEN SMITH!"
"Y-yes, Warden Smith." Elaine whimpered. "I-I just thought... Well, we've seen each other every day for months now and don't you think it's about time we were on a first name basis?"
Warden Smith smiled... something Elaine never thought she'd witness in her lifetime.
"Come here, Benes..."
Obediently, Elaine moved closer to the bars. "Yes, ma'am?"
"NO FIRST NAMES, BENES!" Warden Smith yelled, almost bursting Elaine's eardrum.
Without another word, Warden Smith walked away, relishing in the laughter and cheers from Elaine's prison mates.
Shaken, Elaine walked back over to the concrete slab bed and sat down. Her head throbbed with the worst headache imaginable.
God, she would kill for some aspirin right now...
And she meant that literally. What could they do to her? She was already in prison.
Anything to get rid of this headache.
It didn't even have to be a name brand!
It was only fair...
She'd gotten the headache because of Warden Smith. Wouldn't that be like worker's comp?
She made a mental note to ask Jerry about that one.
Jerry...
God she missed him. Unbelievably she missed George and Kramer too. She vowed at that moment never to take them for granted again.
If she ever saw them again that is...
"BENES!"
Elaine cringed, the headache instantly throbbing even more.
Oh God... Not again...
"Yes Warden Smith?" Elaine said, immediately standing at attention.
"Mail for you."
"For me?" Elaine asked, touched by the simple statement.
"That's what I said!" Warden Smith barked. "What are ya, deaf or something?"
Not yet... Elaine mumbled.
"What was that?" Warden Smith snapped.
"N-nothing." Elaine said hoarsely.
"Well, here ya go."
Elaine held out her hand to take the manila envelope that Warden Smith was holding.
"Thank you, really. You have no idea how much this means to me." Elaine babbled.
"Are you through?" Warden Smith asked, bearing that God-awful grin that Elaine hated so much.
"Um... I'll just go over here and... open this up." Elaine said.
"You do that." Warden Smith said.
Elaine walked over to the slab and sat down, wincing at how cold it was.
Damn, with all the taxes that these people in Latham must pay, you'd think they could get some heat for their prisoners!
She tore open the envelope and unfolded the letter. As soon as she saw the perfect handwriting, her heart warmed and she couldn't help but smile.
Jerry...
"Dear Elaine,
Since we don't get to see each other often in here, I thought you should know that Kramer, George and I have all been released from prison early due to good behavior. Imagine that! Anyway, we're going to hop a plane and go back to New York, so we'll see you whenever they decide to spring you.
Say hello to Warden Green for me, would ya? He promised he'd come to my show next month.
Signed,
Jerry (Jerome) Seinfeld... Cell Block A
Elaine gasped. "WHAT? NO! This is wrong!"
"SHUT UP, Benes!" another inmate yelled from down the hall.
"But-But... this can't be happening!" She began to pace the room, anxiety causing her heart to beat wildly beneath her chest.
"WARDEN SMITH!" She yelled.
Within seconds the warden returned.
"What is the meaning of this, Benes?" She yelled.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Elaine pleaded.
Warden Smith scoffed. "I don't know what in the hell you're talking about, Benes."
"This!" Elaine said, shoving the envelope through the bars.
Warden Smith opened the envelope and quickly read the letter.
"Oh yeah, I remember this letter. Your friends, Seinfeld, Kramer and Costanza... they were sprung a few weeks ago. I guess they forgot to let you know."
"A couple of WEEKS ago? Are you crazy? Why didn't I get to go free?"
"Well, Benes, it's complicated. You see-."
"But Warden Smith, we were all in here for the exact same reasons! Why did they get out before I did."
Warden Smith smiled. "Well, Benes... there appears to be a problem."
"Problem? What problem?"
Suddenly an ear-piercing scream could be heard from the second level, causing her to cringe.
"What problem?" Elaine asked, suddenly desperate.
"I gotta get going." Warden Smith said. "Sounds like things have gotten out of hand up there."
And then she was gone.
"But what about me?" Elaine cried. "You can't just leave me in here! Please! Warden Smith! I want to go home!
Please!"
Please... let me out... I want to go home... please...