Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't...
Summary: The separation was longer than expected but still he was thinking of her.
A/N: This story is part of my A Light in the Darkness universe. Enjoy!
Thinking of Her
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Agony. Every breath I took was agony. Broken ribs scraping against my lungs and I knew I had a number of other broken bones. The only relief came from my dreams, dreams of her. Dreams that were formed from memory. Alambiel.
There was no guarantee that the Giants would keep away but I did not allow those thoughts to trouble me for long. It was more troubling to think that I would not return home this time. Four years was far too short a time to be wed to my beloved and fierce lady. We were not perfect and there were times when we were far too stubborn for our own good, which usually led to a quarrel. But…but making up after the quarrel had certainly become more fun, not to mention easier, after we married. It was most difficult in the beginning as we struggled to balance our very different routines into one that we could share but we managed, thank Aslan. I suppose that our quarrels were at times inevitable…we were both very stubborn and our opinions could differ greatly.
My Alambiel was never simple to understand. She has too many sides to her personality for that and I was grateful for I have never grown bored. Frustrated, bewildered, astonished, amused, all those and more but never bored. As Dame Sepphora, she found all kinds of scrapes but the fierce protective streak that ran through her was almost always at the fore. As Dame Sepphora, she faced down the worst demons and walked or limped away the victor, usually with a new admirer or two in tow. It has always amused me that she recoils more at the thought of having to be diplomatic than anything else, save for eels, because she is very good at making people see that doing what she has demanded is the wiser course. Although, I admit I have teased her often that the reason she is so efficient is due to her tendency to burn down buildings.
There was a sudden pressure against my side and I groaned. For just a moment, I heard my colts' worried voices. "He's getting worse."
"Put more pressure against that wound. It's the worst."
"If I put any more pressure on it…"
The voices faded again from my awareness. I could see Alambiel as she had been when I left her this time—laughing, her golden hair loose and curling with some white and gold locks falling in front of her eyes. I remembered how soft it felt beneath my fingers when I brushed it back then pulled her into my arms. "Do not worry. We will be back in a sennight."
Alambiel's eyes sparkled with a loving contentment that swelled my heart with pride, knowing that I was responsible for putting that emotion there, as her pink lips parted in a smile. "I don't worry. That's your job. And you are sometimes too good at it, you know."
"Yes," I admitted that readily then tightened my hold on her as I lowered my head, breathing in her ear, "And you, my rare Bird of Paradise, behave yourself while I am gone. I don't want to receive any letters with the fanciful demands that I control your behavior or am able to correct it at a distance."
Her laughter was sweet and I knew I was going to miss it even for so short a time. Of course, she often found trouble when I thought she was perfectly safe. I begged Aslan that would not be the case this time. Turning her head, she brushed her lips against mine. "I promise to give it my best effort."
Mischievous little Minx. The one who smiled and laughed when others would have shown their true hurt. Sometimes that was a blessing, other times it only hurt her and I tried to break the habit by reminding her that she could come to me with her problems in addition to relying on Aslan. When she learned what happened to me, why I would not be coming home, she would grieve in private and present a brave face to the world. One of the lessons she had been taught in the land of Spare Oom that I had yet to help her break.
The accusation of a cold heart was one of the things that caused her hurt. I had seen it. I had tried to defend her from those barbs but I knew I did not always succeed. And now… Now I regretted that I would not be there for her again. I would not be there to give her that reassurance and sense of safety that enabled her to let go of her defenses. I would, instead, be the cause of her grief.
"You know you can't always shield me from what people say, Kentauri."
Looking down, I studied her upturned face as she snuggled against my side. The tear tracks on her cheeks made my blood boil but I kept my tone, and my touch, gentle as I brushed my knuckles against the curve of her cheek. "They had no right to say those things today. No right, at all." I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, inhaling the cinnamon scent from her hair rinse. "And I pray you can forgive me for not nipping their malicious gossip in the bud. It never should have progressed this far."
"Oreius. You can't stop every hurtful word no matter how much you glare. Besides," she gave me a rueful smile, "I didn't tell you how far it had gone."
She hadn't told me then but at least I had been there, waiting to catch her when her defenses fell. This time…I would not. Four years… We had not spoken of it much but I knew Alambiel had begun to long for a child. So did I. I had longed to see our colts and fillies. And now… Perhaps Alambiel was with child, carrying a little colt or filly who would give her comfort and help her not to feel alone when I am gone. If she had known when I left, perhaps she would have waited until I returned since this had been meant as a short, simple trip. No, she would have told me as soon as she knew, I am certain of it. The thought of Alambiel with our child gave me some sense of relief, bittersweet but still relief, and even though I could not know if she was, I clung to that thought. It troubled me to think of leaving Alambiel alone but imagining her with a little colt or filly brought me comfort as I recalled how much she enjoyed being around foals. And she would be a wonderful mother.
Pain came again and I caught the faintest whisper, "Hold on."
It faded and I let myself return to the memories. My favorite memory came to the fore. Alambiel on our wedding day. She stood there, a breathtaking vision in the silver lace dress. Flowers were woven into her golden locks, which fell in wavy lengths until they almost reached her waist. I had the brief suspicion that her hair wasn't completely down but then the thought vanished as I held out my hand to her. The silver cape flared slightly, forming an ethereal cloud in her wake. The confusion that had been in her eyes cleared and when she placed her hand in mine, I could see only love and a touch of excitement in those blue depths.
Oreius… My dream changed, shifting from the wedding and honeymoon, to something that wasn't quite memory. It was more a wish. "Oreius, wake up. Come on, Kentauri, wake up." The faint press of lips against my face, forehead, cheeks, nose, and mouth. I didn't open my eyes but still raised one arm, feeling soft fabric and the warmth radiating through it. I felt a hand pet my cheek as the murmur came again, "Oreius, wake up and talk to me." I smiled but didn't open my eyes. Instead, I shifted my hand, following the slope of her shoulder to the curve of her neck until I felt her silky hair beneath my callused fingertips.
When she called again, I whispered her name and allowed myself to relish that we were together again. For a little while at least. Until the dream ended and then I knew I would wake to His Country and I would wait for my Alambiel to join me there.
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A/N: Please Read and Review! I was actually planning something a bit more festive but, umm, this plot bunny shoved its way to the front and there it is. Leave a review and let me know what y'all think of this one.