This oneshot acts both as a standalone story and as a part of my story; Babysitting.

To those who came from there, this is set in between #29 and #34. To those who are reading this as a separate oneshot here's something you need to know; Sheldon and Penny are in a relationship and have two year old twins. Leonard lives with them while Gregg and Bailey are OCs that are Penny's costars. It is also recommended that you read Alcohol Leads to Cicatrice first, as this is a sequel of some sort.

Also, I feel that the first two parts seem like a crack fic, so… yeah. Oh, and as an early Christmas present to those who will read this; I made this much more smuttier than I originally intended. It's been a while since I last did a lemon (ALtC) so I may be rusty.

Song playing while I wrote this: Rockwell - Somebody's Watching Me

Now, some lemons for the holidays! Yay!

It had been about four months—four months, two weeks and seven days—when Sheldon had started dating Penny, and so far, things were great.

Contrary to what he originally thought, being in a relationship was actually… nice. Well, that was partially because there were only a few major things changed in his relationship with Penny. Like her clinging to him more (holding hands etc.) the occasional kisses and him moving to her room. He was actually hesitant about the latter—Penny kept moving in her sleep—but overall, it was pleasant.

At first, he had thought that Penny would do what he expected and had seen her do (coitus on the second date) in the past, but he was surprisingly wrong. Penny was more than willing to go—as Raj would say—slow with him, easing him into the idea of relationship step by step. She said that it was because she understood that the idea of relationship was new to him and she respected that.

His friends all snorted when he explained that to them.

Leonard chose not to comment—probably because Penny was his ex—but Howard did. The nosey engineer told him that Penny was only saying that she didn't want to when really, she was expecting him to make the first move. Raj countered him, saying that Penny was telling the truth when she said that they would take their time since she hadn't dated anyone since she left for Nebraska.

That was two and a half years, ago, and that got him thinking on whether or not Penny was lying. Oddly enough, each time that he asked Penny about it, she laughed and said that it really wasn't a big deal. She reasoned that not only was she too busy with work, they also had to spend as much time with the twins as they could since they were going to school in the fall, and because really, there wasn't a problem.

And that was why he decided that he would do as Howard said and make the first move. However easy that sounded, it wasn't, and he turned to the internet and several works (that Raj suggested) that dealt with his problem. He was actually quite shocked to find out that he wasn't alone and that there were hundreds—maybe even thousands—of articles on the internet that gave tips on how to overcome this. He studied for two weeks on everything that he needed to know and started his plan

It was one week before their fifth month of dating when he set everything up.

Leonard was out of town, visiting his mother, and their twins Andy and Maddie were out with Gregg and Bailey—aka the perfect time to lay out his ultimate romantic plan. They had the house to themselves for the rest of the day and he was sure that Gregg and Bailey would be too busy doing anything that the twins asked them to do to get back early. They were never early.

"You know," Penny started, drying their bathroom. She had just gotten back from an interview and was planning on relaxing the entire day. Cue his brilliant plan. "I was thinking of joining one of those pet groups and getting Bowser a friend."

Sheldon paused from spreading rose petals—Raj's suggestion—around the room, glanced to see if she was about to come out (she wasn't) then continued 'setting the mood.' "Something like that exists?"

"Uhuh, I heard about it from Raj. He said that he and Cinnamon are part of one, too." She was at the sink, probably about to brush her teeth. He was almost done. "I might join that one—it'll be funner if I knew someone, right?"

He trotted over to her music player and prepared the jazz music (Howard's suggestion) on his iPod. Apparently, setting the mood also required music. Why that was, he didn't know and he didn't care, as long as it worked he would be fine with it. He moved and started lighting the candles (also Raj's) that he set around the room. The mood. "It might. Are you almost done? I need your opinion on this playhouse for the twins. See if it's safe enough."

"That's odd, you're not one to get opinions." She said as she spit the toothpaste out. Ah. Hygiene. Wonderful. "Did you do something wrong?"

"Of course not, I simply wanted your opinion to avoid any future disputes." He lied. He was getting very good at this—as long as the person he was lying to wasn't staring him down, he could do it. "So… are you done?" He held the iPod and patiently waited for her to come out. He even wore a special outfit ("Sheldon, you cannot wear your everyday pajamas for sex!" Howard exclaimed.) for the occasion; his undershirt and… boxers. As per Raj's suggestion.

He really had to stop asking suggestions from his friends.

"Almost!" Now she was gargling mouth wash. Was she anticipating this? It was about four in the afternoon ("It's not the most romantic time, but it'll do," Raj.) and she only planned on sleeping. She was too clean. Hmm. "There, I'm done. So, what was this what you wanted me to see?"

Once she stepped out of the bathroom he played the music Howard suggested and the soothing sounds of a saxophone filled the room as Penny's eyes widened at the effort he exerted for their first time. Or second. He wasn't really sure what the count was. "Oh my god… what's this?" She asked with awe, glancing around the room.

"I wanted to surprise you," he admitted, placing the player on the table and gesturing around him. "Surprise?"

In a flash, she was in front of him and was planting kisses on his face. "This is amazing, sweetie! So, what's this for?"

He mentally sighed; she probably thought that he was apologizing for something he didn't do. Well, he just had to make it clear to her. He walked over to the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of champagne (Leonard's suggestion) and a glass. "Well, I thought that we could celebrate your movie's success. I've heard that champagne is the perfect drink for it—would you like some?"

She tilted her head in thought then raised an eyebrow. "You've set a mood, huh?"

"I-well, yes…" he placed the bottle back on the table and knitted his eyebrows, "I just that you would—I can clean it all up and we can pretend that this didn't happen—"

She cut him off by placing her lips on his, pulling away as she smiled, "I love it, sweetie. I actually didn't expect this… this explains why you kept asking me if I was done." He placed his hands on her hips as she noticed his attire. "Hey, you even changed your outfit. You're really sure about this, aren't you?"

Sheldon nodded, licking his lips as he led her to their bed. "I have, and I've decided that it's time. That is—if that's okay with you." He saw her staring up at him and he inwardly winced. Why he was acting like such a coward—he was Dr. Sheldon Cooper for crying out loud!—he didn't know, but he had to stop looking like a fool.

He felt her place a hand on the side of his face, and when his eyes cracked open, he saw her smiling tenderly at him. His heartbeat suddenly sped up and he knew that this was it. He had spent a week preparing for this and learning everything that he had to know. There was no way that his efforts would go to a waste. Not when he had finally wrapped his mind around the idea that he was going to have coitus.

About a second later, he felt warm lips brushing against his own and Penny's hands pulling him closer. Penny moved back as he trapped her on the bed, her fingers traveling from his face to the back of his head and pulling on his hair. That was when he slightly parted his lips and Penny roughly thrust her tongue in his mouth—they had done this before, but somehow, this was different. A good kind of different.

"Mhmm… Sheldon…"

He felt his eyes widen as his name escape Penny's lips; his body suddenly heating up and his blood drumming in his ears. Gaining a newfound drive, he tore his mouth away from hers and moved his lips from her jaw down to her neck. He inhaled and took in the scent of her shampoo—green apple, the one she used to use. He had always loved that smell. It reminded him of how she sat too close to him in their living room and the first time he ever insisted a hug with someone.

"You can tell me to stop if you want to," he said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Her fingers ran through his hair while her other hand scratched his nape. "Like I'd do that," he glanced up to see her green eyes darkening due to lust, "you're not getting away from me."

"Would it be bad if I said that that was the answer I wanted to hear?" He slipped his hand under her tank top, coming in contact with the bare skin of her stomach. "I've discovered that it's hard to stop once you've started."

"That's probably because of the 'mood' you set up," she joked as his hand slipped higher and higher. "It's actually really sexy."

"I'm not even sure if you meant that," he said, pulling her tank top off her discovering that she was braless, causing his throat to go dry and him to get even more aroused. Regardless of the fact that he had seen her naked before, (once when she had that accident and again during that night that was still a bit vague to him) he had never really thought of how great her body was.

Not that it really mattered, it was just something that popped into his mind. He loved her, and it wasn't because of her body. "Were you expecting this?"

She gave him that innocent look she had whenever she did something to tease him. "Well… it was just a hunch. I didn't think that you'd prepare all of this, but yes, I had a feeling that this was going to be the day."

Of course. If there was someone who could outdo him on something it would be none other than Penny. "I blame the mood," he sniffed, leaning back down to kiss her as his hand moved down her abdomen. He had forgotten what the exact term was—his mind was in a flurry with all of the emotions he was feeling—but he knew what to do. Again, he had done this before—he just barely remembered it, though.

He was just about to slip his hand in her shorts when they heard the front door slam close followed by his possible new nemesis.

"Hey, Blondie, Genius!" Bailey yelled from the first floor, "we're back!"

They both quickly pulled apart from each other and fixed themselves. Those two would never let them hear the end of it if they discovered what they were doing. Or almost did.

"We got you guys some dinner!" Gregg added, "you might be hungry or something. We also got you guys a bike; two bags of oranges, four new sets of sheets and six new pots. The twins chose them all. Ironically, they're all colored orange."

Penny gave him an apologetic kiss before hurrying out of their room. "Orange? Really?"

He stared at the door in frustration before collapsing on their bed.

Those two were going to get banned from this house.

The second time he set his plan into motion was when they were at a hotel in Palm Springs, one week later, for both the marking of their fifth month as a couple, and a special episode of Halfway There that was set there.

Luckily, the episode was mainly about Gregg and Bailey's characters, therefore they wouldn't be around to bother them. Plus, since the entire Halfway There crew was there, they were more than happy to volunteer their babysitting services. They even brought the makeshift daycare from the studio to the resort. They were very dedicated in babysitting them.

Ever since his failed attempt at intimacy, things with Penny had been rather tense with all of the pent up frustration they had with their little disturbance. Every now and then, Penny would drag him somewhere to 'makeout' and, like the last time, they'd be interrupted, and would both get frustrated about it. Because, really, he was getting tired with his plan failing.

So, so tired.

"Did you lock the door?" Penny murmured, resisting the urge to moan as Sheldon

sucked down on her collarbone. "I swear, I'm going to k-kill anyone who even dares to interrupt us, now."

That made both of them. Based on how aroused he was right now, he was going to murder the person who even tried to approach their hotel room. He had gone through great lengths just to make sure that they wouldn't get disturbed, and he swore that he wasn't going to fail, now.

"Of course, I locked the door. I even placed that useless sign that says do not disturb." He said as he moved his lips up to her neck, sucking at the skin there while he continued to massage her. His whole body was on fire and he couldn't wait to finally be able to release all of his frustration over the everyone interrupting them.

"Ah!"

His senses grew sharp as Penny finally allowed a cry to escape when he captured a nipple, biting with a subtle strength to tease her while his free hand slithered down her flat stomach. He moved his hand into her inner thighs and soon came In contact with her wer center. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat as his eyes wandered down with unexpected nervousness; they automatically moved down and caught a full glimpse of her naked body.

Sheldon mentally cursed himself as he tried to get back to his senses. Every second that passed was getting him more and more aroused and had he not want this to be perfect, he would've already done what they had been waiting to do for a week now. He dove back down, his mouth engulfing a nipple again as his other hand cupped her other breast, fingers mimicking the motions of his mouth.

He glanced up and saw her throwing her head back and that slight movement reminded him that his fingers were still at her center. She had a hand clamped against her mouth to keep her moans from escaping (they didn't trust the walls of this hotel) and the little smothered noises made him start stroking against her as her hips rode in rhythm with his strokes. At that point, he realized that he had finally lost control of his actions.

His mouth started trailing kisses up back to her neck and once he reached back to her collarbone, he bit at the hardness; causing her to moan louder and arch her back. Enticed, he moved higher to her neck, sucking at the spots that he was noted were the sensitive spots on her neck. "Having fun?"

"Why… wouldn't I—oh my god!" She gasped as he rubbed her warmth directly and listened to her unrestrained moans. Bit by bit, he slid a finger into her, and as expected, more gasps and pants greeted him as his fingers moved deeper. "Oh… god—fuck!"

"The loud, unnecessary appeals to a deity. How delightful," he chuckled before leaning down to capture her lips as he intertwined their fingers. He grabbed her bottom with one hand, to haul her closer, and was pleased at how she naturally spread her legs and wrapped them around his hips. This was going to be it—there was absolutely no holding back between him and this moment.

His fingers returned to her core, where they continued to tease her opening. He was losing his mind—and he was sure that she was, too—with how much his erection ached. He had gone so long without paying any attention to any sort of physical activity, yet here he was now, throwing all of his former thoughts out of the window and giving into what he always deemed as beneath him.

He broke his mouth away from hers, watching the way she started rocking her hips against his fingers. The pace of his fingers increasing, he pressed hard kisses on her neck while his other hand sought for the arch at her back to keep her as close he possibly could.

"Sheldon…" she breathed, raking her nails against his scalp and pulling his head back to meet her eyes that were clouded with lust. "H-hurry up… I can't t-take it anymore!"

The article said to extend the foreplay, but alright.

Like her, he couldn't wait any longer. He grasped her hips, brushing the tip of his erection at her core and prompting her to moan his name. The sound was exceptionally enticing and he resisted the strong urge to—

Knock, knock. "Penny? Penny are you there?"

Fuck.

Knock, knock. "There's been an accident!"

In an instant, Penny slid out from under him, threw on her clothes and he felt his arousal disappear. Like a bird falling dead from the sky. He sighed and followed suit, wearing his clothes to at least look decent.

"Hey… I just woke up," the blonde lied, cracking the door open a bit. "What happened?"

"Andy slipped…" the staff sniffed, panic evident in her voice, "and now we're rushing him to the c-clinic—"

Without a second thought, they were out of the room; heading straight to where there son was.

Sheldon honestly could not understand why having coitus was so hard to do. For some annoying reason, things just wouldn't go his way. As if some sort of… otherworldly force (it could also be aliens) was preventing him from finishing what he had started.

Maybe it was because he had vehemently loathed the idea of coitus for so long that this sudden switch in perspective made everything else hard for him. Or something. He was really just trying to find a logical explanation as to why his attempts at having coitus was always interrupted. Where did he go wrong?

It was just agonizing to see how all of his attempts failed. It was just absolutely stupid and no matter how many times he rechecked his former plans, he could not understand how he had so much trouble at the simple act of coitus! Why was it that Howard, Leonard—and practically everyone else on this planet—could get away with it without so much as a sweat.

Curse all of them and everyone who ever interrupted him in anything.

"Well, that was certainly entertaining," he remarked as unbuttoned his annoying dress shirt. They had just returned from one of her celebrity friend's birthday party that she had begged for him to accompany her to. It was one of those black tie events that he hated, but since there was a make your own sundae bar, he would deem it as satisfactory. "Everyone seemed to like schmoozing."

"Don't they all?" He turned to face her and found her staring at him with half lidded eyes that were dark with lust as she closed the gap between them. She gave him a suggestive smirk before reaching up and kissing him.

Oh.

Oh.

This wasn't what he planned (he wanted to sleep) but now that he thought about it; the timing was perfect. They had the house all to themselves—Leonard wasn't coming home until next week and the twins were over at the Wolowitzs for some sort of training for when their son is born. He should have thought of this earlier.

He felt Penny's hands cradling his jaw so delicately and he couldn't help but push harder into the kiss. She smiled against his mouth before running her tongue along his lips until he parted them and allowed her access to his mouth. He flicked his tongue against the roof of her mouth and it elicited an exciting moan from her as her response,

Heat started spreading across his skin, scorching as he stumbled forward; pulling his girlfriend even closer until they're pressed up against the back of the wall. A moan vibrated against his lips and he groaned in response, tightly clutching the fabric of her dress as the bulge beneath his annoying dress pants that he desperately wanted to remove.

Getting distracted by the way Penny rocked her hips against him, he barely noticed that she was already one step ahead of him as her hand moved to unfasten his belt. He groaned once she managed to undo his pants, moving his body back to remove them and his shirt completely—throwing it behind them instead of properly placing them in his hamper—and almost instantly, her hands grabbing his face to rejoin their lips.

The fabric of Penny's dress irritated his skin—or the thought of her still wearing something—causing him to break the kiss, trailing open mouthed ones down her jaw and neck whilst his hands searched the back of her dress for the zipper. Two fingers pinched the top of it and he poked his tongue out, licking a line up the expanse of her neck as he dragged the zipper down as her breathing became harder and heavier before pulling the cursed dress off of her.

He paused, staring at her body as he placed a hand on her skin. He had often heard the others talking about how wonderful her body was, but he had never really appreciated it until now. He knew that she had a great body, but it was only now that he understood why his three friends had obsessed over it so much—he was going to kill them if they ever brought those thoughts up again.

Suddenly, a hand covered his own, stilling the movement and he glanced up to see her smiling at him. Even in their dimly lit room, he could see the flash of concern in her eyes.

"Stop worrying, sweetie," she whispered, chest heaving up and down, "it's just us. No ones gonna interrupt us."

There was a wild pounding in his chest as he held her and tried to catch his breath. "I'm not worrying," he responded, eye nervously flitting down before coming back up again. "I'm perfectly fine."

Penny giggled and he was about to scowl at her when her hands cupped his face and brought him down for a deep kiss. She slid her tongue back into his mouth, taking advantage of the small gasp he made and nearly sucked all the oxygen from his mouth.

He was a bit too eager to respond, pressing into the kiss as their hips began rocking against each other and (somehow) managed to pull her even closer as they gasped into each other's mouths. He slowly crept his hands up her back and unclasped her bra before she reluctantly moved back to shrug it off. His kisses moved down from her lips to the smooth, tan skin as he bit down on the junction between her neck and shoulder She hooked a leg around his hip and he lowered his hand to her thigh as the rocking of their hips intensified.

"God—Sheldon, I need… I—I need more…" Penny pushed him back, kissing him firmly before she pulled away to remove her heels and her remaining piece of underwear. She let out a throaty (naughty) giggle and stepped towards him, her fingers tucking beneath the fabric of his briefs before pulling it off of him and allowing his throbbing erection to spring free. She then proceeded to duck, lowering them down his legs and slipping his ankles out before standing back up. "And you're going to give me more."

This was it. Things were finally going to go his way… !

He started moving his his lips from Penny's collarbone; to her neck, then along her jaw and finally to her mouth while his hand slid his hand down, causing her jaw to drop as his fingers teased her center. He began making small, slow circles with his fingers while enjoying the low moans that vibrated against his lips and the way that Penny's hips kept jerking up into his hand

Deciding that they've had enough, he slid his hands around her thighs and lifted her up, using the wall to support some of the weight as her legs looped around his waist. He groaned in pleasure once the tip of his erection collided with her clit, making her throw her head back as the stimulation continues.

"Sheldon," she moaned, rolling her body in a slow and methodical way that made a shiver run down his spine. He glanced up at her and found Penny staring back at him through dark, half lidded eyes that were full of lust and affection. "Please."

Then she reached between them and took his member into her palm, warm fingers wrapping around him in a firm but gentle first. She stroked up and down a few times—moving her first from the base to the very tip—squeezing along the way and Sheldon refrained from losing his mind when Penny tilted his member, running the head of his shaft through her slick flesh.

Taking a deep breath, he lost all of his control and pushed inside of her; groaning at the wet walls that greeted him. Penny shuddered beneath him, her moans getting louder and more frantic each time that he slid into her. His head fell forward and rested his forehead against her shoulder as his member was enveloped from base to tip by her incredible, slick warmth.

Sheldon gritted his teeth as Penny moaned loudly as she started grounding her hips against him. He found it almost unbelievable that his plan only went through when he didn't plan anything—but, it was hard to think of anything once he saw Penny's face contorting in complete ecstasy as he pushed deeper; stilling for a few seconds and hitting that spot. She raked her nails down his back and he ignored the fact she they would surely leave stinging scars on him.

Well, this wasn't the first time that she did.

"F-fuck—Sheldon… oh god!" Her moans were absolute music to his ears.

He pushed harder and deeper, stopping every few thrusts to drag his hips out slowly; prolonging the pleasure and watching as Penny thrashing against him. Affection settled in his chest amongst the pleasure and he captured her lips in a kiss to muffle the groans that poured from his mouth. He knew that he didn't have much left in him, not with the weeks of anticipation and amount of heat that he could feel building at the base of his spine.

But, it seemed that Penny had less in her because when he pulled out and slid back in—burying himself as deep as he possibly could—she started quaking, her limbs tightening around his waist as pleasure coursed through her. "F-fu—fuck!"

He watched with awe as his girlfriend orgasmed, something snapping in his head and causing him to quicken his pace as his orgasm started building up inside him. The pressure was almost too much and it only took a few more thrusts and one painfully amazing grind of Penny's hips before something inside of him broke and flashed in side of him. It exploded as he cried out a loud groan, his hands gripping her hips and forcing her to keep still as he spilled everything he had inside her.

They stayed pressed against the wall as they tried to regain their breath.

"Query," she breathed once he set her back down on her feet, her arms still circled around his neck. "W-what was your original plan for this?"

He panted as he pulled out of her, "I—I wanted it to be romantic… like the ones you see on television and movies. That was what Raj suggested. He said that you'd love it."

"Ah," she said with a small smile, "well, I must say; I like this one better. Sometimes, it's funner to do things unplanned. I mean look at us, we didn't do anything as planned, did we?"

Penny leaned up to plant a kiss on his lips while something started ringing on the nightstand next to her. "Hey, someone's calling your phone." She reached behind him to grab his phone and handed it to her. "It's President Siebert."

He stared at his phone for a moment before answering it—and a second later, felt his jaw drop.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" She asked with concern as he ended the call. That was certainly unexpected.

"I've just been told…" he took in a deep breath and met her gaze, "…that I've won the Nobel."