A boy sat on Santa's lap in the mall. He smiled. "Hello. I would like a Feeler for Christmas this year, please!"
The mall Santa, who was approximately 96 years old and hard of hearing, leaned forward slightly and put his hand to his ear. "Eh? What was that you said, little boy? Speak up! My hearings not what it used to be!"
The boy sighed. "I said I want a Feeler for Christmas this year!"
"You want a beeper?"
"No, A FEELER!"
"A WHAT?!" Shouted the mall Santa.
"I WANT A FEELER FOR CHRISTMAS!" The boy screamed back.
"YOU WANT A WHAT?!"
"A FEELER! FROM THE STRAIN!"
Santa patted his shirt. "Clean out my stain?!"
The boy sighed agian and got out a huge megaphone, turning it up to max volume. "I WANT A FEELER FROM THE STRAIN!"
The whole mall could hear them at this point, but Santa got out his own megaphone anyway. "I DON'T HAVE ANY STAINS, LITTLE BOY!"
"JUST WATCH THE STRAIN, SANTA!"
"BUT I DON'T HAVE TO CATCH ANY TRAINS, CHILD! NOW TELL SANTA WHAT YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS OR KRAMPUS WILL EAT YOUR FACE WHILE YOU SLEEP!"
"I SAID I WANT A FEELER!"
People were crowding around them now, hundreds of them. But the boy was focused only on the mall Santa in front of him. He took out his phone and forced Santa to watch all the episodes with the Feeler in them. After they were done, there was a line a hundred miles long, and it was 4 in the morning.
The boy smiled and took a deep breath. "Now do you know what I want, Santa?" He asked, confident that the suited man did indeed understand now.
The mall Santa was not listening, too busy snoring away in his chair now, since it was now past midnight. Th kid slapped him across the face to wake him up from his old person nap. "I DIDN'T TAKE YOUR-" he started, before looking around, "where'd my watermelon go?"
"Do you know what I want for Christmas now?" The boy repeated his question, looking up at the mall Santa hopefully. His hopes were immediately dashed to pieces.
"Who are you?" The asked the mall Santa in confusion. The little boy threw up his arms in exhaustion and climbed off of the old person's lap in anger and disgust. He would forever hate Santa for the rest of his life.