I'm so so sorry. I blame my imagination.

Anyway, this is a pilot chapter. I'm not sure whether or not I should continue this.

"Aomine-kun," Kuroko deadpanned, staring at his teammate. "why are we stalking Kise-kun?"

"Yes, Daiki, why?" Aomine turned to face the Generation of Miracles, frowning.

"I just needed to check something with you guys. I think something's wrong with the bastard. He's been acting really strange these days." Midorima sighed, clutching a toy raccoon, his lucky item for the day. "What can you notice that even Akashi cannot, Aomine?"

"Hey, don't make it sound like I'm dumb!" Murasakibara piped up from where he was sitting, ripping open a bag of crisps.

"But you are, Mine-chin."

"Fuck you!"

Kuroko jabbed Aomine in the ribs, placing a hand over his mouth when the taller boy started to protest. "Aomine-kun, Kise-kun is leaving."

"Mufph!" Kuroko sighed, removing his hand. "Yes yes, Aomine-kun."

You could understand that?! Everyone thought in tandem. Aomine folded his arms, turning in the opposite direction of where Kise went, pointing to the sky.

"Let's go then!"

"Idiot, that's the wrong way!"

"Hah? What did you say?!"

Akashi pinched the bridge of his nose. Someone save me from this idiot.

As the group bickered, they did not notice the figure clad in black a few metres behind them. The figure frowned, adjusting his top hat.

"Pathetic."

He spun on his heel, and vanished.

They somehow found Kise sitting in the abandoned parking lot, talking into a phone.

Thank goodness the idiot put the thing on speaker. Midorima thought, re-taping his fingers.

"Eh? But you're really, really, really good! You definitely don't need my help!"

"Thank you for the compliment, Captain," Akashi raised an eyebrow at the smooth, cultured voice that filtered through. And he called Ryota… Captain? Akashi was pretty sure that the title had absolutely nothing to do with basketball or modeling, the only two things in Ryota's life. "However, the client has offered to pay a very large sum upon completion of the mission. I thought you'd like that." Kise laughed gleefully.

"Hm…how much are we talking about?" Kuroko tilted his head to the side. What was Kise-kun helping this 'Hatter' person with, anyway?

"Five hundred trillion yen, Captain." Midorima and Aomine both did spit-takes; Murasakibara patted them on the head. "There there, Mine-chin, Mido-chin."

"Oooh, that's a lot of money!" No shit! Aomine thought. What the hell is Kise doing, to be offered this much money?! "I'm sold, Hattercchi! Who'm I going after?" 'Hattercchi' chuckled softly.

"I knew you'd say that. The person you're targeting is…" The sound of shuffling papers was heard, and Kise pouted.

"Mou, hurry up! The sooner I can get the money, the better!"

"Haha, just wait a bit, yeah? Oh, I found the name. The person is…hm. One Akashi Seijuuro." Everyone's eyes widened, and turned to Akashi, whose own were slightly wider than usual. What did he have to do with anything? Silence permeated the air, and they realized that Kise had not spoken after the announcement.

"…Captain? Captain? Are you—"

"Did the client really offer five hundred trillion yen just to assassinate Akashi Seijuuro, Hattercchi?"

"?!" Assassinate?! Midorima turned to Akashi, whispering furiously. "Did you know of this?!" Akashi numbly shook his head.

"I did not, Shintaro. How would I?" Assassinate? Ryota? Him? Nothing made sense anymore. Kuroko frowned sympathetically.

"We should listen more, everyone. Let's give Kise-kun a chance." He then turned back to the conversation, and slowly, everyone else did the same.

"—should be happy to kill him!" Huh? Kise sounded like he was almost in tears.

"You don't get it, Hattercchi! It's not their fault!—"

"It is, Captain! They are the reason you cried so much that day!" 'Hatter' interrupted Kise, voice sounding panicked and frustrated. "I even saw that little blue-haired shit see how you were crying! He didn't do anything! He just went away!"

"Crying?" Murasakibara frowned, snack long forgotten. "Kise-chin was crying?" Akashi raised an eyebrow.

"Daiki?" Aomine shook his head, surprisingly speechless.

"…Testuya?" Kuroko said nothing, eyes still fixated on Kise. Everyone waited.

"…It was during the time Murasakibara-kun talked back against you, Akashi-kun." He sighed softly, ignoring everyone's stunned faces.

"At the end of practice, I noticed that Kise-kun was smiling a lot. Too much, even." He paused, and took a deep breath.

"When everyone left, he just stood there, and all of a sudden, burst into tears. I couldn't do anything to help, so I just...walked away." Frustration was evident on the short male's face. Just how bad a state was Kise in?

"Don't bad-mouth Kurokocchi, Hattercchi! I'm warning you!" Kise's voice cracked. "I mean, isn't this enough? I'm so happy over here…"

Silence.

A sigh. "I'm sorry, Captain. I acted too out of turn." Kise sniffled, smiling lightly.

"It's fine. Anyway, I'm not your Captain anymore, remember?"

"To us, you'll always be our Captain." Hatter sighed. "But really, Cheshire Cat and White Rabbit are going to kill me for this." Kise laughed.

"Don't be silly. Cheshire and White are perfectly nice."

"But only to you." Hatter grumbled. His only response was a grin.

"Yeah yeah, you think." He said. Glancing at his watch, he stood up. "I gotta go now. See ya, Hattercchi!"

"Bye, Captain."

"Eh? But I'm not…" Kise sighed fondly at the beeping tone. "That man…" A shadow fell over his face. "Hm?"

"When were you going to tell us about this, Ryota?"

"?!" Akashicchi?!

This plot bunny slammed into me with all the force of a bulldozer. …You like?

Questions, comments, answers. They're all accepeted!