Title: How To Save A Life
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones
Warnings: Mainly Angst
Summary: Inspired by the song 'How To Save A Life' By The Fray. Sometime after Countrycide, Jack is trying to comfort Ianto, Ianto is hiding his feelings.
Author Notes: I had this song stuck in my head and ended up writing this. I was in a bad place when I was writing this.
Disclaimer: I claim no ownage on the show, its characters or the song.
The hub was empty of all its member excluding Jack. The only sounds, the beeping of automatic computers and the low hum as they did their work. It wasn't too long after the countryside and Ianto was broken deep down, no matter how well he hid it, he could never hide it from himself. Jack sighed as he looked around the empty hub, feeling his own emptiness. He decided to go to the roof, he always did like roofs. They had a strange freedom about them, and they always brought him closer to the stars.
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Jack walked along the roof of the building and stopped short as he saw the familiar man in his suit, sitting near the side of the building, not close enough to jump, Jack noted.
"What are you doing up here?" Jack murmured, walking towards the younger man.
Ianto jumped at the sound of the older man's voice but didn't turn to look at him.
"I should've known you'd come up here."
Jack sat down next to Ianto, trying to look into his eyes but finding it impossible because of the darkness and the way Ianto kept his gaze from him.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine." Ianto smiled faintly.
"You're lying."
"So if I said I felt horrible I would've been telling the truth but just because I said I was fine, you assume I'm lying?"
"…That's not what I meant Ianto." Jack looked over and saw the small flask in the Welshman's hand, "Have you been drinking?"
"Yeah, you want some?" Ianto mumbled, offering the flask to the older man.
Jack reluctantly took it from him, if only to get it away from the Welshman.
"Ianto, we need to talk."
"No we don't."
"Yes we do." Jack insisted, "Please, look at me."
Ianto stared out to the sky for a moment before looking over at Jack, smiling politely. The smile didn't reach his eyes and Jack could see his eyes were red and he had to keep himself from wrapping his arms around him and never letting go.
"You've been through a lot. I mean, Lisa…"
"What about her?" Ianto interrupted him, still sounding polite.
"You were there when she died, I wish I could take it back, if only just to get you out of that room."
"No. you wouldn't have been able to get me out of there. I would never have let you get me out of there." Ianto mumbled but his words were stern.
Jack wanted to press the issue but decided to move on, "And now, the countryside. I shouldn't have taken you out on that one."
"Again, no. I would've gone anyway. There is nothing you could say that would've changed my mind."
"Ianto…"
"No sir. That's the way it is."
"You need to listen to me Ianto. I know you blame yourself for Lisa. You shouldn't though."
"Are you kidding? I shouldn't have let that guy do anything to her, she was herself until he messed with her. Of course it was my fault." Ianto's voice rose as he went on.
"It wasn't your fault." Jack said in his most authoritive voice.
Ianto stayed quiet for a moment, "I don't think this is the time to talk about this."
"No. Ianto this is what's wrong. You're always putting up this defense and you won't let any of us help you. You're too young to be going through all of this stuff. What were you going to do up here, honestly?"
Ianto looked out and then over at Jack, seeing the hurt in his eyes.
He quickly averted his gaze back to the night sky and spoke almost in a whisper, "Jump."
"You have no idea how much that would've hurt us…how much it would've hurt me."
"Who says I won't still do it?"
"I do. Ianto, you've been through so much, but that doesn't mean you should give up. It just means you should share it with someone, anyone. Don't bottle it up like you have, it isn't healthy."
"I've got no one to talk to! Gwen thinks she understands but really she's just condescending. Tosh just feels sorry for me and don't get me started on that twat, Owen."
"What about me? I'm always here, I will listen to you. I've been through plenty of things as well, you know?"
"You're unapproachable. I don't know how to talk to you." Ianto admitted, looking at the flask in the older man's hands.
Jack sighed as he followed the Welshman's gaze. He wondered where he'd gone wrong. He was losing a team member, a friend, a man he couldn't understand his feelings for but also couldn't help but like them. He didn't understand how the friendship had grown through the bitterness of all that had happened with Lisa but at that moment the thought of losing him was like losing a part of himself. He opened the silver flask, taking a quick swig.
"Is this scotch?"
"I'm having a rough night." Ianto mumbled.
Jack sighed and poured the warm liquid out of the flask, onto the floor and noting the way Ianto slumped as he saw him do it.
"I didn't know that. Honestly Ianto, you're the one person I'd talk to about anything with."
Ianto snapped his gaze over to the older man, receiving a genuine smile, "Lies aren't going to get you anywhere."
"I'm serious."
"No you're not! How could you be!? I betrayed your trust, everything I worked for, broken down! I saw it in your eyes when you held me against that wall in the basement!" Ianto's voice rose as he spoke.
Jack lowered his voice carefully, "I won't lie to you Ianto, that did hurt but I understand your reasoning. You loved her."
"…I did. I really, really did."
"You have to decide. Do you want to give up here, jump and throw it all away?" Jack stopped, hating the thought that Ianto had even considered it, "Or, do you want to start over again and figure things out together?"
Ianto stayed perfectly still and Jack's heart sank a little bit further in his chest. This was it. It was his deciding point. Ianto would either throw it all away or let him in finally. Ianto looked over at him again, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.
"I have nothing Jack." Ianto whimpered, "There, there's nothing left."
"You have the team, you have me."
"Will you save me…from myself?"
Jack shuffled closer to the younger man, facing him and looking squarely in his eyes.
"I promise, I will be here, every time you need to talk to anyone about anything, anytime you need a hug, anything you need, I'll be here."
Ianto looked deeply into the sharp blue eyes of the older man before wrapping his arms around him, resting his head in the other man's neck. Jack rubbed soothing circles on Ianto's back as he sobbed, finally letting out the pain he'd been hiding for months. Jack wasn't sure if it had been pain from years but with the amount the Welshman had been through, he wouldn't have been surprised. Ianto pulled away, looking back into Jack's eyes. He smiled hesitantly as the older man wiped away the fresh tears, leaving his hand on the younger man's cheek.
Ianto whispered sincerely, "Thank you Jack."
"You're worth it Yan."
Ianto's smile widened slightly and reluctantly, he pushed forward and kissed Jack gently.
This came out fluffy. I was VERY close to making this a character death one shot but decided against it. My first mainly Post Cyberwoman fic yet. Reviews make me feel Spesh, especially as I'm still in that pretty bad place at the moment. Anywayz, I hope you enjoyed it.
Cheers,
Gabz
xx