The Zelda Characters go…CAMPING!
Disclaimer: MSTs rule, FF.N stinks for banning them (I'd use a more descriptive term, but I'd be removed from the site) and I don't own diddlysquat. 'Kay?
And so, I return to the Fanfiction scene! NICE TO SEE YOU ALL!
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*Late one night, in Link's house, Link is sleeping (duh)*
Link: *Talking in his sleep* Zelda…Oh, Zelda-
Deep Booming Voice: AWAKE! (a/n: This is NOT me)
Link: *Sits bolt upright* I DIDN'T DO IT! I DIDN'T DO IT! I-…huh?
DBV: ARISE, LINK!
Link: *Looking up* Who are you? And why are you speaking all in caps?
DBV: BECAUSE I SAID SO! THIS IS THE VOICE OF GOD!!!! *Drums and harps play in the background*
Link: Nice try, GGGuy.
DBV: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, GGGUY?
Link: Stop it, GGGuy. You tried this before and it didn't work.
DBV: WHAT? I OUGHT TO POUND YOU…I MEAN…WHO IS THIS GGGUY? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
Link: Well, If you're God, than what's the meaning of life?
DBV: BOOGERS! LOTS N' LOT OF BOOGERS! AND CLEAN SPANDEX, TOO!
Link: What's the 51st word of the bible?
DBV: HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I NEVER READ IT!
Link: Oh. Well, that's okay. I haven't read it either, since we Hylians don't have god.
DBV: SILENCE! *Lightning flashes, and a blackened and smoking fairy flutters past the door outside, swearing*
DBV: *Suddenly normal* Now go on a D*#& camping trip.
Link: Why?
DBV: *SIGH* ahem…. BECAUSE I COMMANDED YOU! NOW GO, OR SUFFER MY WRATH!
Link: I won't go by myself. I'm afraid of the dark.
DBV: I'm glad you mentioned that. Here are your friends. *A snapping noise is heard, and the Zelda characters fall from out of nowhere into Link's front yard*
Link: What the heck? Why did you do that?
DBV: GOODBYE, LINK! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rauru: I'M DEAD SEXY!
Skullkid: *Has a metal thing shoved in his nose* did you know you can pick your nose with a periscope? IT'S REALLY COOL!
Ruto: I have to go to the bathroom!
Impa: *Sitting on an easy chair, eating a huge bucket of chips* GAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! I WAS WATCHING A "The Brady Bunch" rerun! PUT ME BACK!
Zelda: *Sitting next to her* Impa, you weren't watching that! I distinctly remember that you were watching the-
Impa: *Clamps a hand over Zelda's mouth* SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ZIP IT! Do you want everyone to know?
Rauru: OOH! VITTLES! NUMMY!!! *Takes a flying leap at Impa, who rolls off the easy chair seconds before Rauru impacts it, sending chunks of wood, metal and cheese everywhere* (a/n: Pretty long action, huh?)
Darunia: *Wearing a HUGE "Star Wars" t-shirt and playing with a toy Lightsaber* NO FAIR! I was in line for Episode II! (a/n: Or Episode III, depending on the time period you read this in)
Malon: *holding a soda in one hand and a remote control in the other* GO BLUE MAN GROUP! WOOHOO! YOUR COMMERCIALS RUUUUUULE!!!!!
Ganondorf: *Holding a fake microphone and singing to the tune of YMCA* IT'S REALLY FUN TO BE E-V-I-L! I SAID IT'S FUN TO BE E-V-I-L! AND- …*Notices everyone looking at him* ……………………WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
Link: *Falls to his knees* WHAT HAVE I DONE? GODDESSES, WHAT HAVE I DONE? *Breaks into tears*
*Meanwhile, in some evil part of Hyrule*
*A bunch of dark figures are sitting around a table in a small room, dimly lit so their faces can't be seen*
Figure 1: The thirty-third meeting of the council of annoying supporting characters will come to order!
All: HUZZAH!
Figure 1: And now, for our motto!
Figure 2: Do we HAVE to do this motto?
Figure 1: Hmmmmlemmethink…uh…YES!
All: TO ANNOY OTHERS INTO A STUPID DAZE!
TO CRUSH ALL OTHERS WHO STAND IN OUR WAYS!
TO DENOUNCE TO EVILS OF ACTING WEIRD!
TO FINALLY GET OUR HATED NAMES CLEARED!
THE COUNCIL OF ANNOYING SUPPORTING CHARACTERS!
SOON WE WILL HAVE THE MAJOR ROLES!
AND HAVE THE UNIVERSE IN OUR CONTROL!
Figure 1: First order of business! Who broke the light bulb in here? I can't see a thing!
Figure 2: We look WAY cooler this way.
Figure 1: Fine by me. Okay, second order of business: We have received word that Link and his friends are going on a camping trip! WE MUST DESTROY THEM AT ALL COSTS! Volunteers?
Figure 2: Why can't you go?
Figure 1: Back pain.
Figure 2: Ah.
Figure 3: *Waving his hands in the air* OOH! OOH! MESA WILL DO IT! MESA WILL!
Figure 1: You've got the job! Who else?
Figure 4: *Only his pointed hat sticks up above the table* TINGLE! TINGLE-TINGLE, KLOO-LIMPAH!
Figure 1: You're up too! EXCELLENT! SOON THE WORLD WILL BE AT MY COMMAND! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…gasp…*collapses on the table* …air…air…*Pulls out an inhaler, takes a puff, and continues laughing* HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Figure 2: WOW! *Holds up stopwatch* 15 seconds without going for his inhaler! THAT'S A RECORD!
Figure 1: I've been practicing! *Punches stomach and coughs*
Figure 5: GAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!! GO AROUND AND AROUND!!! *Starts playing his music*
Figure 4: *Hands over his ears* AAAAAHHHH! STOP IT! STOOOOOOOPPPPPP IIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!! I hate that song! HATE HATE HATE IIIIITTTT!!!!
Figure 5: Well, it's not like _I_ want to be reincarnated as a fairy, dingle-butt.
Figure 4: Shaddup, you.
I sorta slapped this together in my spare time, but I think it's good. If you disagree, then be warned; THE GORONS ARE COMING.
This is GGGuy signing off for now, expect the NEXT chapter to be hilarious.
-GoroGoroGuy-