No Laughing Matter
This story was not written by me, but by my friend Saladred, who is also on FF. I translated the original to English, though, so many more Death Note fans might enjoy it. I hope the translation doesn't come off as wooden. I'm still trying to find a way between faithful translation and artistic license. Any comments on the text are highly appreciated.
Summary: Light and L travel to Germany, along with Misa, Matsuda and Mogi, to look into a murder case that might have connections to Kira. Set during the Yotsuba arc.
Warnings: none so far.
Chapter 01
Light drank his tea in small sips while reading about the border conflict between the Russian Federation and Chechen Republic in a news magazine. For today, he had already looked through and categorised the bulk of data on the most recent cases of death that were suspected to bear a connection to Kira. Thanks to his brilliant memory, this kind of work was especially easy for him and he could use the breaks he allowed himself from time to time to deal with other topics. The mass murderer seemed to follow his or her own master plan, unaffected by world politics. Hence, the news weren't actually connected to the case, but he could not afford to be uninformed. Not only his status as citizen, but his aspirations for a position inside the Japanese police department demanded full political awareness of him. Especially regarding the neighbouring states of the island kingdom, it was important to him to be constantly aware of their intentions. He was puzzled how a person like Kira, claiming to create a new world in the glorious light of his justice, could keep out of politics completely.
"Thanks, Watari," Ryuuzaki's monotone voice said right next to him, interrupting his observations.
"Oh. Did I disrupt you?" the detective asked, sitting crouched in his chair. Light shook his head.
"I wanted to continue my work anyway," he said, while neatly putting away his magazine. The article had been too superficial for his taste. Sometimes he wondered whether journalists were even required to provide any qualifications to be employed. An average university student could have written this. But there were things in this world that probably could never be changed. Among those, the wide spread incompetence, without which humankind would obviously be better off. At least he lived in a country where human incompetence was not that intensely felt as opposed to the People's Republic of China, the Korean states or South America. Kira concentrated on Japan but he neglected countries like Paraguay and Chile, where corruption and guerrilla warfare drove the population into criminality. It was indeed a puzzle to him what this person was thinking.
"Well, it's alright then." Ryuuzaki grabbed his cup and discovered that it was empty. He stared at it for a while before he reached underneath the table and produced a bag. He rummaged through its contents and finally produced a bottle of coke.
"You want some?" Ryuuzaki proffered the bag. Light was not the least bit interested but he took a glance anyway.
"Where did you get it from?" he asked.
"Matsuda left it here," the answer came muffled from the bottle's cap, which the master detective just had loosened with his teeth. Greyish sticky vapour sprayed his face.
"Then it's Matsuda's coke… Well, anyway…."
Light returned to his monitor. "I'm almost finished with the data. I'll look into the order next. Maybe we'll find a new system this time."
Ryuuzaki nodded. Since they were chained to each other, Light had learned to bear with the quirks of the carelessly dressed young man who always looked as though he'd just been woken up. It was hard to believe, though, that he was actually pondering about something in moments like these, when he watched the sparkling of the coke in its bottle before he drank.
"Sir, the parcel you were awaiting has just been delivered", Watari's voice croaked from the small speaker in front of Ryuuzaki. The detective put the bottle away and leaned forward to push the little red button with his long, spidery fingers.
"Bring it here," he said. He kicked himself off the desk and let his chair roll one or two meters to another desk at the side. Watari entered, carrying a carton box with all kinds of foreign post marks.
"There also came this letter." Watari proffered a letter and Ryuuzaki took it gingerly. He teared it open with his teeth, skimmed the content and then put it aside. Light watched him in bewilderment opening the package and producing multiple video tapes, files, reports and so forth. Among those items were psychology magazines written in several languages, English, French, German and Japanese.
"What are those?" he asked curiously. Ryuuzaki looked up.
"Maybe a new clue about Kira. I ordered it from my contact in London and it arrived today."
"Surveillance tapes?" Light guessed. Ryuuzaki gave him a crooked smile. "No, not even close, Light."
He lifted one tape in a way that allowed Light to read the title: "The Crimes of Dr. Mabuse". He grimaced.
"What do you want with old film classics, Ryuuzaki?" Ryuuzaki tilted his head, his fingers somewhere in the shaggy hair. "Well, I still haven't-"
"Hey!" Matsuda exclaimed who had just entered the room. "Where is my bag?" He pointed an accusing finger to the table under which it once had been.
"It's over here with us," Light replied angrily. "So, what's up with the films, Ryuuzaki?"
Matsuda walked over to his bag.
"How lucky I am. I was already afraid I'd left it somewhere. But that's odd. Wasn't there a bottle of coke in here?"
"I drank it", Ryuuzaki said casually and then continued ignoring Matsuda. "Here's how it is, I'm still not convinced that you have never been Kira. We already talked about that."
"But how does that relate to those films?"
"That's not fair!" a completely ignored Matsuda complained. Aizawa grabbed him by the shoulders and walked him over to a small table where the others sat in the background.
"I noticed that your laughter has changed when you changed yourself, all of a sudden. Before you entered the cell, it was quite characteristic. But now, it resembles more the standard laughter of all Japanese. Since I highly doubt that you have practised it while being imprisoned – I would have observed it – the change could mean something."
"You still haven't explained the video tapes, Ryuuzaki," Light reminded him.
"Those tapes contain recordings of both, old and new horror- and splatter films in which the villain's laughter has come closest to the psychological ideal. Reports and essays from internationally accepted psychologists about this topic, tables and all referencing data that could be obtained are collected here, on this very table. If I can come closer to the solution of the problem through laughter, I'm all in to do it, Light."
Ryuuzaki had dunningly raised his index finger while speaking the latter words. Light wanted to pose another question but Watari stepped in and whispered something in Ryuuzaki's ear.
"Really?" Ryuuzaki took the ready mobile phone from the hand of his butler who retreated at once, only to come back with a little trolley-table laden with sweets and pastry. In the meantime, Ryuuzaki spoke to a man in British English. A man Light did not know. Maybe his English intelligencer who had provided him with those ridiculous tapes and magazines. Light went over and looked at the cover pictures of the video tapes. As expected, there were also old science-fiction films among them in which the villains laughed especially diabolically. Two manually labelled tapes even contained cinematic cut together selected films. Did Ryuuzaki really spend tax money on that? Did he have to specify what he had used it for? If so, what did the UNO think when they saw the list of films that had been sent half around the world on his behalf?
Ryuuzaki hung up. Then, through the tangled mass of paper and video tapes, he reached for the letter and read it again, thoroughly. With a sigh he picked up the mobile phone and dialed a number specified on the chit. Several photographs were attached.
"What's this all about?" Light asked. Ryuuzaki gave him a cloudy look from his big black eyes before he spoke into the receiver in a hard language. Light wondered whether it was German or a Slavonic language. He was not sure, maybe he recognised the name "Lars" - or it was just a normal word. The Ryuuzaki hung up. Thoughtfull, he turned in his chair and chewed his thumbnail.
Light awaited the return of life to the detective until the process took so long that he was tired of waiting and repeated his question. "What is all this about, Ryuuzaki?"
Ryuuzaki stuck out his lower lip. "In Bremen, the corpses of two business men have been discovered. They worked for a child trader network in Southeast Asia."
"And what have they got to do with us?"
"They apparently died of heart failure. But their names don't show up in any police files. Only the BND knew of their activities. Hence, nothing was known about them, at least not in public."
Light looked at him in astonishment. "BND? That's Germany's secret service, isn't it?" Ryuuzaki nodded. "They don't have the best security system, but the thought that Kira has hacked in there..."
"Maybe we're dealing with poison."
"Only a few hours after the corpses have been found, someone called the police and claimed to be Kira. The recording of the phone call will shortly be sent to us." Ryuuzaki still took rounds in his chair and stared into space.
"What does Kira do in Germany? Or worse: what does he do with criminals, whose names and faces he's not supposed to know in the first place because they're only registered in a foreign country in a supposably inaccessible database? Plus, the murders in Japan have not ceased. That means he must have access to both data resources."
"We can test for that," Light said, logging in on his terminal.
"Right." Ryuuzaki seemed unsatisfied but for the moment it was all he could come up with. Maybe it was, in fact, only a copycat criminal who actually used another method to kill. But what if the incident recurred...? His gaze wandered over to Light. Another Kira?
Translator's Note: I have a few more chapters already translated, they only need a review before publishing. I hope you like the story as much as I do. Helpful comments always welcome!