The
fish and chips Reaction…
By:
Me! Me, me, me! Not you, ME!
Disclaimer: I don't own it! Nope, nope, nope! But
I own Billy-Bob the Scottish pirate! Why? Because I do, that's why! Now don't
ask questions…I'm busy…with stuff…*goes off and bangs her head against the
wall*
Ow… *bang*… this… *bang*… hurts… *bang*… a…
*bang*… lot… *bang*…*looks up* Oh, look at all the pretty stars! *faints*
This is in response to METMA Mandy's challenge, but you knew that already, didn't you? The
requirements were…
n someone
as to say "Butterbee". What does that mean? Beats me…ask Xoe.
n someone
has to say "Achalta ha kelev sheli!" which means "You ate my dog!"
n a
character must believe he or she is a traffic light
n a
phone has to ring in someone's ear
n chocolate
chips have to be mentioned in there somewhere
n fish
and chips must be mentioned
And you know what? I bet you couldn't
read that font up there! I did that on purpose! I am so evil…*cackles*
Yes…EEEEEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIL! *coughs loudly* Okay I'll shut up now…*coughs
again*
A/N: Have a nice day! J ^_^ ;-) 8^) - _ - #_# = P* Aren't these emoticons cute? *grins* Nice day isn't it? Nice day isn't
it? Nice day isn't it? Nice day isn't it? Nice day isn't it? Nice day isn't it?
*realizes what she's doing* NO! I'm turning into Lockhart! Somebody help me!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *cough*
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all
sitting in the Gryffindor common room one day, studying for their O.W.L.S.,
because Hermione said so, when Ron suddenly spotted something in the far corner
of the room.
"What's that?" he asked as he
pointed at it.
"Dunno…" said Harry as he pushed his
glasses back up. Ron shrugged and started throwing spitballs at people again.
Hermione rolled her eyes and slammed
her potions book shut.
"Are you two ever gonna study
seriously?" she asked.
"No." Harry and Ron said as they
looked up at her after Ron hit Lavender with a spitball on the back of her
head.
"Hey Hermione," asked Ron in a
good-natured voice. "What's that?" Once again he pointed at the 'thing' over in
the corner. Hermione rolled her eyes again and went to check it out. She came
back holding a telephone and looking slightly interested.
"It's a telephone…I didn't think
they had these at Hogwarts…after all, we don't need Muggle devices…" she said
in an amused tone of voice.
Ron looked at the telephone in awe.
"Wow…a fellytone…" he muttered. Hermione got really annoyed when he said that.
"IT'S A TELEPHONE!! NOT A
FELLYTONE!! A TELEPHONE!!!!!!!!!!"
she yelled.
"Sheesh…you don't have to get mad
about it…" Ron murmured. Hermione stuck her tongue out at him. Ron ignored her,
and picked up the telephone.
"So…you talk to people on the other
end, right?" he asked doubtfully.
"Yes." Harry and Hermione chorused.
"Cool…" Ron held the receiver up to
his ear.
BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNGGG!
Ron threw down the ringing phone.
"AAAAA! It's possessed!" he yelled.
Then he hid behind an armchair. Harry sighed and picked up the phone.
"Hello?" he said into the receiver.
"Do you like scary movies?" the
person on the other line whispered hoarsely.
"What?"
"Do you like scary movies?" the
person repeated.
"Uh…I haven't seen any…" Harry said
confusedly into the phone.
The person suddenly stopped
whispering.
"Wait a second…is this that house
with the super model who's eating popcorn and watching a scary movie?" the
person asked.
"Uh…no…" Harry said.
"Damn…wrong number…"
"Who are you anyway?" Harry asked.
"Hey, hey, hey! I didn't ask to get
bullied by some punk!" the person shouted.
"But…"
CLICK. The person hung up. Harry put
down the receiver in some confusion.
"Who was it?" Hermione asked.
"Dunno…" Harry said.
Ron looked out from behind the
armchair. "Is it…is it…"
"Yeah, it's safe to come out now…"
Hermione said.
"Oh, okay." Ron stepped out from
behind the chair. "You know what? I could go for some chocolate chips right
about now…" he said.
Harry
and Hermione nodded, and the three of them through the portrait hole and into
the corridors. Little did they know, but SOMEONE was out there waiting for
them…
[twilight
zone theme music starts to play]
"Hey…" Ron said as he looked around.
"Where's that music coming from?"
Harry and Hermione shrugged and they
all started walking towards the kitchen…
[DUN
DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!]
"Okay, where did THAT come from?"
Ron asked again.
"Beats me…" Harry said.
"Butterbee!" Hermione said.
Harry and Ron looked at her
strangely. "What?" they chorused together.
"Butterbee, butterbee, butterbee!"
she said.
"Are…you okay?" Ron asked.
"BUTTERBEE!" she said again. The she
and Ron started making out in a corner (again
*grin* I'm just a diehard R/Hr shipper, aren't I?) and then…
Military General Guy: Stop this at once! It's
silly! I don't enjoy a good laugh like every other good person, and if this
fanfiction gets silly again, I'll put and end to it! I mean it! Now when I say
cut, Miss Writer-Person, you cut to the next scene. Miss Writer-Person…
They came out of the kitchen with…
Military General Guy: Wait for it… Miss
Writer-Person….CUT!
They came out of the kitchen with
their hands full of chocolate chip cookies and fish and chips.
"Those house-elves really are
getting a raw deal…" Hermione said indignantly.
"Aw, give it up Hermione! The
house-elves are never gonna rebel, and spew isn't doing anything for them
either…"
"It's S.P.E.W.! Not spew!" Hermione
yelled.
"Whatever…" Ron said as he shoved a
cookie into his mouth. Then, out of nowhere, Voldemort appeared.
"Achalta ha kelev sheli!" Voldemort
yelled.
"You speak Hebrew?" Hermione asked.
Voldemort raised his wand and
started to say, "Avada Ker…" He noticed their fish and chips in Ron's hand.
"Are…are those fish and chips?" he
asked doubtfully.
"Uh…yeah…" Ron said.
"Can I…have some?" Voldemort asked.
"I…guess so…" Ron held out some fish
and chips to Voldemort.
Voldemort wolfed them down and then
he suddenly sprouted fairy wings, and a white dress appeared on him, and a star
grew out of the end of his wand. (my
God…he's a fairy godmother…)
Voldemort looked down at himself in
happiness.
"My wish came true!" he said
happily. Then he started to hop, and flowers grew wherever he stepped. Then he
started to sing.
"The hills are alive, with the sound
of music!" he sang happily.
Draco Malfoy suddenly came around the
corner, looking very sad. Voldemort immediately rushed over and comforted him.
"What's the matter Draco, dear?"
asked Voldemort. Draco sighed.
"I just want to be a ballerina…but
everyone will laugh at me!" Draco started crying.
"Don't worry Draco, for I am your
fairy Dark Lord!" Voldemort said proudly.
"Really?" Draco asked.
"Really. Now what is it that you
wish?"
"I wish…" Draco looked up
thoughtfully. "I wish I was a ballerina!"
"And so you shall be!" Voldemort
tapped him on the head with his wand.
Draco was suddenly in a pink leotard
and a pink tutu (nightmares…nightmares…
*gag*…though if it were Ron I wouldn't mind as much *gets dreamy look on her
face while people stare at her* What?) and started dancing to Swan Lake.
"What the…?" Ron said. "C'mon, let's
get out of here…" he motioned for Harry and Hermione to follow him, but Harry
stopped him.
"Hey, hey! The light's red, buddy!
That means stop!" Harry said as he pointed to his head (which was red, by the way, did I tell you?).
"What?" Ron and Hermione chorused
together.
"Just wait…" Harry said.
DING!
Harry's face was green now.
"Okay, now we can go." Harry
said. Ron rolled his eyes and the three of them ran back to the common room
only to find that smurfs had overrun the common room…
Military General Guy: Stop! That's silly! It
started out as a nice little story where three kids were about to get killed by
a dark lord, but now it's just gotten silly!
Me: Then what do you think we
should do, oh mighty one?
Military General Guy: We could see some military
drilling!
[scene
suddenly changes to outside where three lines of soldiers are standing and
saluting]
Head Soldier: Atten-HUT!
Soldiers: Ready, sir!
Head Soldier: Then…START!
The
soldiers started marching.
Soldiers: We are sissies, yes we are
We don't even drive a car!
One Soldier: Lipstick!
Soldiers: Lipstick!
One Soldier: Mascara!
Soldiers: Mascara!
One Soldier: Ready? And go!
Soldiers: We aren't gay,
No, we're just queer
Don't ask us why
'Cause its our
career!
Military General Guy: Okay, that's enough! It's
silly! I don't like silly!
[a
16 ton anvil falls on the general guy]
Military General Guy: EEK!
THE
END!
Todd: See? I told you the smurfs
would come!
Me: What are you doing here?
Kenneth: We brought electric prod
thingies, so don't worry!
Lizzard: Yeah!
Blake: A-hee, hee!
Kenneth,
Lizzard, and Blake started prodding Todd with the electric thingies.
Todd: Hey! Watch it!
Blake (in a Viking song
way…yeah…):
A-hee hee, aaaaaaaa-hee!
Kenneth: I didn't say Weird Al
rules! So here it goes: WEIRD AL RULES!
Lizzard: NO! MASHED POTATOES!
Me: *hits delete button* Buh-bye
now!
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
THE
END…I THINK…MAYBE…
It's official, I'm insane. Well…I hope everybody
liked it, because I'm gonna make you scroll on down! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
You ain't there yet, keep going!
It's the middle of nowhere! *echoes*
nowhere…nowhere…nowhere…
BOO! Scared ya, didn't I?
Yay! You made it! Congrats! Now review me! Because
you KNOW you want to…
toodles,
hermionefan