*I dont own Gollum or any other characters in this song fic. JRR TOLKIEN is the genius behing LOTR. As for the song part- I DID NOT MAKE UP THIS WHOLE SONG ALTHOUGH I DID CHANGE ALOT OF LINES AND ADDED A FEW OF MY OWN LYRICS TO IT. This is originally a song by Crazy Town called "Butterfly". You can go to a lyrics website and get the actual lyrics, then compare and contrast if you like.*
Setting: Gollum is in his dark cave, singing to his Precious. Aww, how cute... and disturbing...
"Precious"
Such a sexy sexy pretty little ring
Fierce nipple pierce don't work for me, I want a real ring
And I aint gonna lie, 'cause puttin you on gets me high
So to keep you on my finger, there's nothing I won't try
Chorus
Come my precious
Come come my precious
You're my golden ring
Precious, Precious
Come my precious
Come my pretty precious
I'll make you all shiny
You make me go crazy
I can feel too much is never enough
Your always there to lift me up when times get rough
I was lost, now I'm found
Ever since you've been around
Your the ring I want
So yo I'm aint puttin you down
Chorus
I always observe you
And I know I don't deserve you
I smuggled you on my birthday
Had to kill a friend but hey it was worth it
I was lost and confused
Until you I first used
Knew a better life existed but
I thought that I missed it
I always observe you
And I can't read your hidden message
But I know you're my precious
Then I guess it's true
I'm obsessed with you
Chorus 2x
Hey sweetie ring thing, I love you so
You know my precious I would never let you go
What ever tickles your fancy
I'll give you a polish better than Ted Nancy
So pretty, I know it's evil
If Sauron knows I have you then I'm surely roadkill
Because you belong to him but I have you instead
You make me live longer
Thanks to you I'm not dead
You filled the empty space with the darkness I once chased
And as far as I can tell it dont get better than this
So precious here's a song and it's sealed with a kiss
And some swamp piss
Chorus 2x
Epilogue: Read this, it's kinda funny...
"Precious? Precious, where are you?"
Five minutes later-
"Precious, I'm wearing that lingerie you like so much..."
Three seconds later-
"Excuse me, Mr. Gollum?"
"Yes?"
"AAH! WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOME-BAKED ARE YOU WEARING??!!"
"Oh, this old thing? Why I merely- excuse me, what exactly are you doing here anyway?"
"Oh, er... just wanted to say that you've been evicted."
"What?"
"Evicted. From your cave. As in, you don't live there any more.Have a good day."
"What? You can't do that!"
"Of course I can, I own the cave, idiot."
"Oh. Hey, wait up!"
"What now? I've got a polo game to play in fifteen minutes."
"Polo? Really? What team you on? I haven't played in ages!"
"I'm guessing you haven't done lots of other things in ages... like maybe use the toilet."
"How did you know that?"
"I got ESP."
"Oh yeah, who are you anyway?"
"Me? I'm one of those Ring Wraith people."
"Ring? Did you say Ring?"
"Yeah. I'm looking for a golden Ring that belongs to Sauron, you ever heard of him?"
"Er, yeah."
"You're looking faint, Mr. Gollum, anything the matter?"
"No. Nothing at all. Have a good day."
"You too."
After the Ring-Wraith is out of earshot-
"PRECIOUS, NOOOOOO!!! I'LL MISS YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!" sob sob "Hey, is that KFC?"
Setting: Gollum is in his dark cave, singing to his Precious. Aww, how cute... and disturbing...
"Precious"
Such a sexy sexy pretty little ring
Fierce nipple pierce don't work for me, I want a real ring
And I aint gonna lie, 'cause puttin you on gets me high
So to keep you on my finger, there's nothing I won't try
Chorus
Come my precious
Come come my precious
You're my golden ring
Precious, Precious
Come my precious
Come my pretty precious
I'll make you all shiny
You make me go crazy
I can feel too much is never enough
Your always there to lift me up when times get rough
I was lost, now I'm found
Ever since you've been around
Your the ring I want
So yo I'm aint puttin you down
Chorus
I always observe you
And I know I don't deserve you
I smuggled you on my birthday
Had to kill a friend but hey it was worth it
I was lost and confused
Until you I first used
Knew a better life existed but
I thought that I missed it
I always observe you
And I can't read your hidden message
But I know you're my precious
Then I guess it's true
I'm obsessed with you
Chorus 2x
Hey sweetie ring thing, I love you so
You know my precious I would never let you go
What ever tickles your fancy
I'll give you a polish better than Ted Nancy
So pretty, I know it's evil
If Sauron knows I have you then I'm surely roadkill
Because you belong to him but I have you instead
You make me live longer
Thanks to you I'm not dead
You filled the empty space with the darkness I once chased
And as far as I can tell it dont get better than this
So precious here's a song and it's sealed with a kiss
And some swamp piss
Chorus 2x
Epilogue: Read this, it's kinda funny...
"Precious? Precious, where are you?"
Five minutes later-
"Precious, I'm wearing that lingerie you like so much..."
Three seconds later-
"Excuse me, Mr. Gollum?"
"Yes?"
"AAH! WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOME-BAKED ARE YOU WEARING??!!"
"Oh, this old thing? Why I merely- excuse me, what exactly are you doing here anyway?"
"Oh, er... just wanted to say that you've been evicted."
"What?"
"Evicted. From your cave. As in, you don't live there any more.Have a good day."
"What? You can't do that!"
"Of course I can, I own the cave, idiot."
"Oh. Hey, wait up!"
"What now? I've got a polo game to play in fifteen minutes."
"Polo? Really? What team you on? I haven't played in ages!"
"I'm guessing you haven't done lots of other things in ages... like maybe use the toilet."
"How did you know that?"
"I got ESP."
"Oh yeah, who are you anyway?"
"Me? I'm one of those Ring Wraith people."
"Ring? Did you say Ring?"
"Yeah. I'm looking for a golden Ring that belongs to Sauron, you ever heard of him?"
"Er, yeah."
"You're looking faint, Mr. Gollum, anything the matter?"
"No. Nothing at all. Have a good day."
"You too."
After the Ring-Wraith is out of earshot-
"PRECIOUS, NOOOOOO!!! I'LL MISS YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!" sob sob "Hey, is that KFC?"