Hey! This is my first story for Big Time Rush, and it's only a one-shot, but I had a feeling that I had to do this, considering that there aren't enough Kendall/Jo stories. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush! Simple!
Jo's POV
I hugged Kendall tight, trying not to sob in agony. I knew I was running late, but I needed to be in one of Kendall Knight's comforting hugs. His strong arms were wrapped tightly around me, one on my back and one in my hair, emphasizing the sorrow and the need in the moment.
Honestly, I really didn't want to leave him, leave my friends, leave EVERYTHING, but a part of me was telling me that this was the right choice to make. And with Kendall's pushing yesterday, how could I say no? Still, my heart ached with the thought of leaving him.
Ugh, why did he have to be so amazingly perfect? Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much to have to leave him, the guy of any girl's dreams that had chosen ME, if he wasn't the greatest guy I had ever met.
Beside us, the car horn beeped loudly, and I felt Kendall's hands hesitate a bit before giving me one last squeeze and letting me go.
I sighed, staring at his despair-stricken face before stepping into the car door he had opened for me. I looked at him through the window, memorizing every detail of his face before the limo drove off, with me staring through the back window as his form grew smaller and smaller, until I couldn't see him at all.
I slowly turned around, facing the front, finally letting the full force of grief fall on me. I started to cry, and my cries turned to weeps, and my weeps turned to sobs. The grief kept pushing on me, suffocating me, as I cried. I was leaving the only boy I would ever love, and I hadn't even told him!
My entire body bent forward as I covered my face with my hands with my elbows on my knees. I sobbed for so long, and my tears finally started to cease as I sat up, my breath coming in shuddering gasps.
I looked towards the driver, and felt a surge of gratitude to see him holding a handkerchief out to me, still driving confidently.
I took it gratefully, whispering a small thank you. He turned around and smiled reassuringly at me for a moment, his smile reminding me of when he would hold up those cute signs he and Kendall had planned for our first one-minute date.
I sat back in my seat, letting the memory wash over me, while simultaneously dabbing at my eyes with the handkerchief. Eating the sandwiches so quickly that we'd get hiccups, the quick games of Frisbee, his poor attempts at drawing me but so cute at the same time, our little dance party, and our ending kiss. I smiled softly, remembering his goofy smile and how much relief we had both felt that we'd have time for each other.
Suddenly, the memories washed over me, filling my being with happiness. I sifted through each memory, remembering all the times Kendall and I had shared.
The first moment when we had met, with me simply smiling at him, James, and Logan. Later, he joked about how my smile had radiated so much warmth and happiness, his sunglasses he had been wearing had still shown the light of my smile to him.
When he would keep trying to hang out with me, and me finally relenting, deciding that being with a boy like him would be an exception to my original plan of "career first, boys later."
Our numerous dates and plots, the party, the dance, our first and only "break-up", me holding up the "I heart Kendall" sign, the speech he had made on the beach, the disastrous but memorable prom, everything.
The memories flew by me, my being feeling happier with each passing one, and my mind rested on one of the most recent ones, of Kendall's almost successful attempt at getting me to take the role that had taken place two nights ago. I remembered how much anger and confusion I had felt when I had returned home, and my realization at Kendall's purpose and how touched I felt about how much he cared about me. I had later arrived at his apartment, giving him the goodbye kiss I had forgotten the night before, and seeing his face filled with surprise, relief, and love.
I frowned, the memory jarring something in me. My mind probed further, desperately trying to retrieve what I felt like I had forgotten.
I suddenly sat up, realization sending misery into the pit of my stomach. We had forgotten our goodbye kiss! The kiss I was supposed to always remember, the kiss I would have to live on for the next three years, and we had completely forgotten about it!
I inwardly started to panic, thinking about requesting to turn around, but realizing it was much too late, we were already entering the airport.
The previous happiness that I had felt during my flashbacks vanished, leaving me with even more despair than before.
The car stopped, and I glumly got out of the car as the driver retrieved my luggage from the trunk. Agony ripped through me, but nevertheless, I smiled softly at him, giving him a wave goodbye as I entered the automatic doors of my doom.
I walked slowly through the airport, watching others rushing to flights, leisurely walking, going through customs, and hugging goodbye. It was like a slow motion movie, but it was going too fast for me. I solemnly went through procedures of baggage check, removing shoes and bracelets, and walking through the detector. The weight of my despair hung on me the entire time, making me feel like I weighed 200 pounds.
I finally got to the point of the passport check (AN: sorry, don't know what this is called), reluctantly standing in line. As soon as I was past this point, I would be boarding my flight to New Zealand.
I sighed to myself. This was it. Now, I was going to have to live in a whole different country, having to live with only seeing and talking with Kendall's face on Face Talk, having to endure urges to kiss and hold him.
As I handed my passport to the guard, a small part of me longed to see him one last time-"Hey!"
Suddenly, Kendall's face appeared in my vision, his warm hands grasping my arms. I went from shock to relief in seconds. His being instantly filled my being with joy, like how it would when he would appear to me back at the PalmWoods. I couldn't believe that he was here!
He was breathing heavily, as if he had been running. His hair was swept slightly onto his face, like how it always was, giving me the same urge I always had to brush it away. His face was full of relief and I could see his beautiful green eyes sparkle in happiness. "We forgot to goodbye kiss!" Kendall's voice was filled with slight panic, and I knew how much this effected him.
I wanted to laugh in ecstasy, because Kendall was just proving how much this meant to him. How much he wanted me to seize this chance of a lifetime, but how the separation would kill him inside, as much as it would kill me. Instead, I answered with a simple, "I know," my voice breaking with the effort of holding back tears.
Frantically, our lips crushed against each other, trying to get as close as possible. Abruptly, I heard a man's voice behind me exclaim, "Hey!" Kendall and I both turned to see a man in his 50s glaring at us. "You're holding up the line!"
Before either of us could retort, the guard interrupted. "Hey! Business man! Don't make me taze you!" I could hear snickers as the man sheepishly retreated back in line.
The guard suddenly turned to us, her face breaking into a smile. "Go ahead kids, finish up."
I smiled softly at her, as Kendall turned back around. I could see his green eyes glitter softly as our lips joined once more, gently this time. Sparks flew through me, stronger than our first kiss. This time, the kiss was filled with so much emotion, I wanted to collapse. The unspoken "I love you" was said through the kiss, and I could feel Kendall shiver slightly under my grip on his arms. In this one moment, it was just us in an area of promises and love.
After what seemed like years, we parted, and I saw Kendall's face covered in wonder and sadness. We locked eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to stay here with him, forever.
"Great way to break up, huh?" he tried to joke, but his face said otherwise. I gave him a half-smile.
A voice over the intercom interrupted, breaking us from our reverie. The announcement of my flight boarding seemed to also announce how this was our last moment for three years. Three years that seemed like one hundred without Kendall.
I looked at him sadly, wishing for this to never end. "I gotta go." The three words said out loud made the moment become reality, and it proved that this nightmare wouldn't end, that I wouldn't wake up in my bed and call him over to comfort me softly.
Kendall looked at me with so much grief, I felt the urge to hug him and never let go. But I knew that he realized what I had, that this would happen, no matter what. "I know." His voice was heavy, and we stared at each other, sharing a glance of love and understanding; that we would meet again.
Kendall slowly stepped aside, allowing me to stride through. My one step felt like one thousand as I walked to my flight…..and away from him.
Moments later, my plane took off into the air, my earlier image of his face at the window etched in my mind.
I sat back in my seat, the sound of the plane echoing around me. My body was still filled with sorrow, but I felt a bit lighter, literally and emotionally. Kendall showing up for our final goodbye kiss had shown me how much he cared, and I knew he would wait for me.
Our talks on the phone wouldn't be the same as being with him in person, but it showed me he wanted to be with me.
And in turn, I would count down every single minute until I was in his comforting hug once again.
There was a bit too much angst for me….what do you guys think? Please review!
