A/N: Hello, my darling readers! With this one, I'm gonna be vulnerable and change things up a bit, so please be gentle! I also want you all to know that even though Emma writes fanfiction about KPop idols, the story is notgoing to focus on that. It's simply a small thread I'm using to tie the story together. The focus is going to be on their relationship with each other. Also, please know that this is the only chapter where they'll be extensively exchanging messages. The rest of the story will have substantial action and content. I've been very excited about this piece, because it was extremely fun to write, so again, please be gentle with me! I tried really hard, and I hope it's enjoyable and entertaining for you all!
Twenty-one year-old Emma Swan spent most of her time online. Even though there were far more chances to connect with others on the web, she still found herself lacking friends. The only people she communicated with were casual acquaintances. Her blog was her solace, even though very few people read it or followed her posts. It gave her an outlet to vent her anger and depression, and the fanfiction she read and wrote gave her an outlet to vent her sexual frustration.
Mostly, her reading and writing had to do with famous Korean pop idols, but occasionally she would entertain herself with alternate universe fiction about some of her preferred television shows. Those, however, she did not find as engaging as the imaginary lives of real celebrities. Though Kpop was a bit of a niche market that she was often made fun of for liking, she was unable to ignore the way it continuously kept her interest.
One evening, however, after she returned home from her part-time job at a diner downtown, Emma was surprised to find an email waiting for her in her inbox. She quickly noticed that it was a review for one of her pieces of writing, which was even more surprising.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: Review from RedAppleQueen
Hi there…
I don't usually do this, but by the time I finished this chapter, I couldn't help myself. Something about your writing is entirely captivating, and I was horrified to find the cliffhanger at the end of this chapter, though I shouldn't have been surprised, given that the previous chapters ended much in the same manner.
In any case, I feel the need to let you know that I've been completely enticed by this story, and your ability to weave a fantastic plot. Not to mention that your intense and well-thought-out character development fascinates me to no end.
I can only imagine what kind of a background you must come from to be able to write this kind of pain so clearly and vividly, but I assume you've been through something similar. All I can say is that I hope that whatever you've gone through that's made you such a strong writer is no longer weighing on your heart or mind. I also need you to know that what you've written here has truly made me feel something… for the first time in a long time.
Thank you for this work of art. I desperately await your next update and will remain on the edge of my seat until it is posted.
RedAppleQueen
As soon as she finished reading the email, Emma felt her heart stop. How could someone be so 'captivated' by such terrible, underdeveloped writing? she wanted to know, and she pondered this for a while, until other thoughts popped into her head. Who was this person? Were they completely insane? Then, suddenly, a more horrifying prospect entered her mind. Was she going to respond? And if so, what the hell was she going to say?
Emma's hands, sweating from the pressure of the decision, hovered over the keyboard of her laptop. Finally, she opened the link to respond and began to type.
Dear RedAppleQueen,
I can't express how flattered and confused I am by your review. Was this, perhaps, intended for someone else's story? Surely, mine could never earn such a response from any reader. To be honest, I've only ever received negative reviews on any of my stories. No one has ever reacted the way you have to my writing. What you've said will stick with me as I write the next chapter, but I will say this… I certainly feel pressured to deliver! I'm completely horrified by the prospect of disappointing you, but I promise to give it my all and to give you the best chapter that I can. You've inspired me more than anyone ever has, and I appreciate your review. Hopefully, I won't let you down.
FearlessSwan
After typing the entire response, she let her curser hover over the 'submit' button for what seemed like half an hour. At last, she decided to click the link, after first seriously considering deleting the entire thing.
"Shit," she muttered. "Shouldn't have even replied to that fucking thing. They're probably just fucking with me. They're probably about to totally troll me and shit all over my writing like everyone else."
After a while of sitting in the dark and wallowing in intense regret and embarrassment, Emma finally opened a blank document and once again let her fingers hover over the keys. Just as she was about to throw the laptop to the floor and give up – watching the word count climb to a grand total of zero – her laptop made a notification noise that was so loud it startled her, given the silence that surrounded her room.
She considered ignoring the email, but the subject line immediately caught her attention.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
FearlessSwan,
I can't stress my earnestness enough. I've binged on your writing for the past four hours, and you've left me wishing I didn't have to stop reading. It saddens me to hear your lack of confidence in your writing, but it does not surprise me that you doubt my sincerity. Please believe, though, that I would not waste my time reviewing a piece of writing that I did not find stunning. (I've never left a negative review. When I don't enjoy someone's writing, I stop reading.)
RedAppleQueen
"Jesus, Christ. This person's insane," Emma mumbled, staring at the screen. "Or maybe I'm insane. Maybe I'm dreaming this."
She shook her head to wake herself from her slumber but found that she was already awake. So the reader must be crazy. Hey, Emma thought. At least it's not me. I'm looney enough as it is with all my imaginary stories. The last thing I need is an imaginary fan.
As she considered her response, she lifted a beer tle to her lips and downed a few gulps. What to say? How to respond?
Instead of writing back, she found herself clicking on the reviewer's profile. The first thing that caught her attention was the user icon. Shit, Emma was thinking. There's no way that's actually her. She's fucking gorgeous. But the icon seemed too normal to be that of a celebrity. In the picture, the young woman held up and apple and looked at the camera with a small smirk that made Emma's stomach drop. Fuck. What now? Guess I could read a little more… So Emma's eyes moved down the page where the user's description was displayed.
Insanely obsessed with Kpop (specifically VIXX and GOT7). Avid reader. Too pathetic and terrified to write. Hobby: intensely admiring those who can. Don't do reviews but will favorite if I'm a fan. Not much else to say. I'm anything but interesting.
RedAppleQueen
Modeun gamjeongeul jiwosseo, neol aesseo jiul su eobseoseo. (I erased all of my emotions, but I couldn't erase you.) -VIXX, "Error"
Emma stared in disbelief, then navigated to her own profile page where she read her own description. (Her icon was a picture of her favorite Korean idol.)
Lover of VIXX, BTS (Bangtan Boys), and GOT7. Terrible writer. Insatiable reader. Nobody interesting or important. Cooler online than in person. Don't ask for my real name or location. You're not gonna get it, creepers. Thanks for reading, if you do.
FearlessSwan (Add me on Tumblr under the same name if you want to listen to boring whining about gorgeous Koreans I want to have sex with.)
Tto mureup kkurnneun nan dachil junbiga dwae isseo. (I'm on my knees and I'm ready to get hurt.) – VIXX, "On and On"
Noting that each of their signatures were from the same group, Emma stared in disbelief and she switched back and forth between their profiles. No. Fucking. Way. Emma continued to stare, until finally, she realized that she'd completely forgotten to respond to the message. Okay, it's not that weird. Lots of people like VIXX. Quickly, she pulled up the reply page and hovered her curser over the empty text box. After a while, she managed a few words.
I don't know if you noticed this – I don't know why you would've hered to look at my profile, anyway – but our signatures are h lyrics from the same group.
FearlessSwan
She stared at what she wrote, then quickly deleted it. After another minute of staring, she typed it again, and before she could talk herself out of it, she hit 'submit' and sent the message. A few minutes later, another notification appeared in her inbox.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
FearlessSwan,
Actually, I did notice, but I was too nervous to say anything. I didn't want to seem… You know… Weird. It is sort of strange that we h chose that particular group to represent ourselves to the world. But a lot of people like them, right? Fate is sort of silly to believe in, I suppose. Anyway, I sound ridiculous. I apologize. Anyway, as I said, I anxiously await your next update, and I hope I didn't creep you out. I'll understand if you don't respond.
RedAppleQueen
This time, Emma typed her response quickly and without hesitation.
RedAppleQueen,
Your message wasn't creepy at all. In fact… To be completely honest and transparent… I was thinking the same thing. Seems strange for us to find each other's profiles in this huge sea of writers and readers. At any rate, I'm going to try to get started on the next chapter. Wish me luck!
FS
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
FS,
Good luck, dear! I can't wait!
RAQ
After a few minutes of hesitation in front of a blank document, Emma finally began to type. It was around three in the morning when she hit 'save' and let out a long, slow breath.
"Thank God that's over," she muttered, her hands sweating slightly. "That was brutal."
Exhausted but feeling the urge to post the chapter, she decided to stay awake for another forty-five minutes as she re-read and edited the chapter.
"Jesus," Emma breathed as she hit 'save' one last time. "Finally."
She posted the chapter, then shut her laptop, setting it on the nightstand and rolling over onto her bed. She browsed a few websites on her phone and added a few posts to her blog before finally drifting off to sleep. Just as she was halfway through a dream, she woke to the sound of an email notification from her phone.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: Review from RedAppleQueen
FUCK, FS! You are brutal! How could you do that to Jaehwan? How could you stop it there? You're breaking my heart here! I NEED MOREEE. As soon as I woke up to the notification that you'd posted, I couldn't go back to sleep without reading. PLEASE DON'T STOP! Thank you SO MUCH for posting tonight! You're my favorite!
RAQ
Emma gawked at this, but fell asleep before she could respond.
In the morning, she was surprised to see the email sitting in her inbox, having thought the whole thing had been a strange dream. As soon as it registered, though, she immediately felt guilty for falling asleep without replying. This girl had woken up in the middle of the night to read her story, and all she could do was fall asleep without even sending a short 'Thank you?' Fuck, Emma cursed in her mind, quickly typing up a response.
RAQ,
You are an angel for posting that review. You brightened my night. I'm sorry I didn't reply right away. To be honest, I fell back asleep, but I assure you, when I woke I was so dazed to find your message in my inbox that my mouth dropped open. I'd thought it was a dream.
FS
The next reply didn't come until later that night, shortly after Emma had gotten home from work. When she saw it, her eyes widened, and her stomach dropped once more.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
My dear FearlessSwan,
I am far from angel, and even if I had been once, by now, your fics have completely corrupted my black little heart, and I couldn't be happier about it. Keep it coming, darling. I hear the dark side has cookies.
Endlessly your fan,
RedAppleQueen
A blush rose to Emma's cheeks as she re-read the message, her brain not believing what her eyes were seeing. If Emma hadn't known better, she would have thought the girl was… well… flirting. And how was she supposed to reply to that? Emma pushed a shaking hand through her blonde hair. Seeming to have a mind of its own, her other hand used the mouse to navigate to the girl's profile, and the green-eyed girl found herself gazing deeply into the brown eyes in the picture in front of her.
"Shit," Emma cursed. "She's fucking beautiful."
Instead of replying – she couldn't bring herself to come up with something to say that didn't feel incredibly creepy or wrong – she hurried to type up another chapter and posted it as soon as she was done proof-reading. Then, unable to control her own thoughts, she moved to the edge of her seat and stared at her computer screen, hoping the girl would review as quickly as possible. The notification noise startled her, even though that was exactly what she was waiting for, so she jumped slightly before clicking on the email to open it.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: Review from RedAppleQueen
Surprise, surprise. You've done it again. How can I express in words my attachment to this story? Every moment of heartbreak you write breaks mine as well. I find myself dreading the day this story ends… Please, never stop writing. I might wither and die without your stories.
Endlessly your fan,
RedAppleQueen
My dearest fan,
I find myself unable to stop writing, now that I have a reason to continue. What can I say? You've become my muse.
Yours truly,
Fearless Swan
Before she could change her mind, Emma's finger clicked the mouse and sent the reply. As soon as the 'Sent!' screen appeared, Emma screamed and covered her mouth.
"Oh my God!" she cried. "What the hell did I just do? I am such a creep!"
The next message, received just a few moments later, made her heart jump in anticipation.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
My dearest writer,
What greater honor is there than to be someone's muse? If only I believed that. I appreciate you being so sweet – you're really too kind – but I really haven't done anything helpful. I just can't get enough of your writing.
Endlessly your fan,
RedAppleQueen
Lovely reader,
My words are sincere (and highly embarrassing. I can't believe I told you that.) Please believe them.
Writing for you,
FS
"Fuck," Emma muttered. "What am I doing?"
After a few minutes of waiting for a replying and not getting one, Emma got up from her desk and went downstairs into the kitchen to make herself food. Halfway through cooking the hamburger meat she was going to use for tacos, her phone buzzed and made a pinging noise, indicating that she'd received an email.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
To the most talented writer,
But if I believed you, that would mean that you've said the kindest thing that's ever been said to me. I couldn't be more flattered to be your muse.
Endlessly your fan,
RAQ
Of course, she'd been distracted by reading just long enough to burn her meal and nearly set the stove on fire as smoke filled the room. She threw the pan into the sink and turned on the cold water as steam erupted from it.
"Shit," the blonde sighed, covering her eyes with her hand. "I am such an idiot."
She cleaned up the mess and washed the dishes, but by the time she'd done that, she was far less motivated to eat. Instead, she went back up to her room and began to write her next chapter.
Again, she finished around three in the morning, and only spent the next half-hour checking the piece for errors. This time, though, she hesitated before posting, knowing that this chapter was far more depressing than any of her previous ones. After all… The story had to end somewhere.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: Review from RedAppleQueen
I can't believe you did this. How could you possibly end it like that? How could you let him die? I'm sobbing. Partly, because it's over, but mostly… Well… I'll message you privately.
Endlessly your fan,
RedAppleQueen
Seconds later, another message appeared in Emma's inbox, before she even had a chance to take in the review.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
My dear, sweet FearlessSwan,
There are two possibilities. One, you're a cruel, cruel human being who likes to fuck with their readers and break hearts with your words. Two, you've been hurt so deeply that you have to express your pain through your writing. I strongly feel that the second possibility is the most probable, considering how kind you've been in all of your messages. That being said, I want you to know that – as strange as this sounds – you can talk to me about anything. I'm sure writing must be cathartic for you, otherwise you probably wouldn't do it, but if you need someone to talk to… I'm here, and I'm more than happy to listen.
Endlessly your fan, but seriously concerned,
RedAppleQueen
In response to the kindest words I've ever heard,
I deeply appreciate your concern. It touches me deeply that you'd think of me and my welfare. That being said, you should know that I am just fine. Writing is simply an outlet for my creativity. You don't have to worry about me. Also, I am sorry to have broken your heart, and even more remorseful for making you cry. No one as beautiful and radiant as you should ever have a reason to shed a tear.
Yours truly,
FearlessSwan
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
My truly fearless swan,
I wish I could believe you, but writing like that… it comes from somewhere. You might be 'on your knees and ready to get hurt,' but it certainly won't be by my doing. I'm here for you, no matter what you need.
Also, I should be honest with you…
And this is very forward of me… But…
A part of me really wants to get to know you. I feel I connect with your writing, but also… since you've replied to my messages, I've felt that connection with you as well. I hope that doesn't sound as creepy to you as it sounds in my head. I just want to be straightforward and transparent, just like you said. Please… Let me be here for you. And know that I don't say these things to anyone else.
Regina
Once again, Emma's mouth fell open. Regina. Her name is Regina. She stared at the girl's profile picture, taking in her gorgeous features, and wishing the image was larger. She had a sudden urge to make the picture her desktop wallpaper. This thought she immediately shook from her mind, completely confused as to where it had come from.
"Don't be dumb, Emma," she scolded herself. "She's out of your league. She's just being nice."
But she replied anyway, daring herself not to back away from the invitation.
My darling Regina,
Without ever meeting me, you see through me, which is more than I can say for anyone else in my life. It scares me to say it, but I want to get to know you too. I'm drawn to you. Your words have woven around my heart, and as much as I want to fight it, I feel like I should open up to you.
I'm not ready, though. There's too much to say. I'm ashamed of my tale of woe, and I don't feel the need to share the burden with anyone else. If you're really serious about getting to know me, we should start on common ground. Please understand. It's not you that I'm reluctant to share with you. It's anyone. Not to mention, to be perfectly upfront with you, confronting my own story terrifies me.
Actually… Let's make a deal. I'll answer anything you're brave enough to ask, if you answer any question I ask you in return. Quid pro quo, my dear. Something for something.
Yours,
Emma
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
Oh, Emma… Sweet, sweet Emma…
How I wish I could comfort you. How I wish I could protect you from these horrible things that haunt your mind and heart.
I feel that pull, too, drawing me to you more and more with each message you send.
As enticing as your offer sounds… I fear I might scare you away with my questions… so let's start with something small. I think I can guess from your writing, but who is your bias in VIXX? Can you tell me why?
I'm embarrassed to say so, but I'm desperate to know you… Thank you for sharing yourself with me in this way.
Yours,
Regina
Darling Regina,
My bias? Hmm… Favorite member of VIXX… The one who holds my heart… I'd have to saw Jaehwan. (I bet your next question will be, 'Then why did you kill him?!' but I can't explain that…) Why I love him, though? He's so happy all the time. His smile brightens a room, and everything he does is adorable. He's so, so handsome, and he has the voice of an angel. His cover of Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" at the Utopia concert pretty much broke me.
Okay… Now I get to ask. Who's yours?
Emma
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
Perfect, flawless Emma,
That's easy. JAEHWAN. Ravi is a close second, because he's hilarious and spunky, but Jaehwan holds a special place in my heart that I just can't help but give to him. Well, really he stole it… Anyway, my reasons are pretty much that same as yours. He's just stunning. A total prince.
My next question is more of a request… And it's okay if you want to say no. It doesn't have to be part of our agreement… But I'd really love to see a picture of you. Please? I'll do anything you want in return.
Passionately fascinated by you,
Regina
Darling Regina,
As reluctant as I am to let you see me and my hideous face… If you go on my blog and search for 'selfie,' you'll see pictures of my ugly self. Have fun. Try not to laugh…
Totally embarrassed,
Emma
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
Oh, my God, Emma….
You are so fucking beautiful. Your eyes are so stunning that I think my heart might burst, and you're just… You're just gorgeous. God… My heart won't stop racing…
Captivated by your beauty,
Regina
Emma's stomach dropped as she read the message.
"She's got to be fucking with me," she breathed, staring at the computer screen.
Then, suddenly compelled to address the girl's comments indirectly (rather than head-on), she decided to use her phone's camera to give a response. The picture she took showed herself holding up a medium-sized sign that said one word, surrounded by several red hearts.
"Regina."
She posted it quickly, before she could chicken out, and sent the next message.
Regina,
Check the tag again.
Emma
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
Gorgeous girl,
My username is "RedAppleQueen." Search for the tag, 'me.'
In awe of you,
Regina
The picture made Emma's mouth water as her jaw dropped again.
In it, Regina – this time in a pair of dark-red rimmed glasses – was blowing a kiss, her lips slightly but seductively puckered, and holding a sign that read, "I think I'm crushing on you," which was also surrounded by hearts.
The blonde reached out and touched the screen of her laptop, then clicked on the image. She was shocked to see it enlarge to fill her entire screen. Then, without thinking, she instantly right-clicked on the picture and selected, 'Set as desktop background.'
Her hands shook as she typed her next response.
Darling,
I've got a bit of a crush on you too.
Tell me something else, though… What's the dirtiest thing you've ever read in a fic?
Em
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
Oh, sweetie,
You know it's your fic from September where Jaehwan ties Ravi to the bed and fucks him til he's raw.
However… As much as I enjoy a good hunk-on-hunk action… I'm suddenly craving some girl-on-girl from you… Something nasty. Can you deliver?
;)
Gina
Oh, darling…
Can I ever. Anything to please you… Give me forty minutes or so.
Em
An hour later, Emma made the post, and another hour after that, her inbox showed a new private message from the girl she so desperately wanted to satisfy.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
Oh, God…
That was incredible… I couldn't… I couldn't help but…
What? Tell me…
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
Em, I can't. I'm so embarrassed…
Okay. I'll confess something first, then.
I hope you touched yourself…
Anxious to know,
Your Emma
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
My talented Emma,
You should congratulate yourself. It's the first time I've ever done anything like that. I couldn't help myself… You make me insatiable. I hope you give me more…
Gina
Regina, my sweet,
I'm stunned…
I can't stop picturing it… Picturing you… Seeing your face…
I'd do anything for you, but I'm scared to disappoint. Give me a night to sleep on it. I'll post something special for you in the morning.
Enchanted by you,
Your doting Emma
Shit, Emma was thinking. This is going way too fast. Before she could regret it, though, she received another email from the fan that was quickly captivating her heart.
From: fanfiction . net
Subject: PM from RedAppleQueen
Goodnight, my darling. I'll be dreaming of you and anxiously waiting for your update.
Captivated by you,
Regina
Emma woke early to write and edit. After three cups of coffee, she posted what she'd come up with.