Legacy

by geenajay

After so many years spent together, there surely could be no more secrets between the boys - could there? Set after finale of Season 12 - warning spoilers! Wincest. Alpha/omega universe

Legacy

Even my short story turned into a long one! Alphas and omegas again. Just a scribble set at the end of season 12 – looking forward to season 13! Warning – spoilers!

They had buried Castiel's body. Neither of them could bring themselves to burn him… and after all, given all their track records, there was still a chance, even if it were only the slightest one, that, somehow, he might need it again one day.

And then they had headed back to the Bunker. But they hadn't stayed there long, as not only had it been only such a short time ago that it had nearly become the tomb of both of them, but also… the last time they had been there, Mary had been with them.

The last time they had sat around that large table, it had been as a family.

But now she was gone: trapped with the Devil himself in that nightmare parallel world that there had been no Sam and Dean Winchester born into to save.

And the boy, Lucifer's son, had gone. He had just smirked maliciously at Sam: everything had gone black, and he had disappeared by the time the human had regained consciousness. Sam had shakily returned to where he had left Dean, only to find him on his knees beside the angel's body, too deep in shock and grief to even be able to speak for a while.

He had even willingly conceded the keys to the Impala.

Sam now glanced sideways at him even as he steered the car towards the next town, the next job. Hunting was the only thing that was possibly keeping the older man sane at the moment, by giving him a purpose, but his younger brother was worried about him. Because Sam thought he knew how much Dean had truly loved Castiel and how devastated he obviously was by his death.

And it still bugged him, it always had, it always would, why Dean had never allowed himself to act on that love. After all, same Alpha/beta relationships were becoming more acceptable in society now: hell, even same Alpha/Alpha ones were becoming less unusual! It was only certain homophobic states that still held out against acceptance of same sex couples that didn't involve an omega… and unfortunately individuals like their own father who had never missed a chance to express his disgust and revulsion just at the thought of it.

And it angered Sam that that was probably the reason why Dean had never acknowledged, probably even to himself, just how intense his feelings were towards Castiel. And they had been returned just as intently: Sam was sure of that as well. He wished his brother could have let himself take what genuine happiness was offered while he had had the chance, rather than let the opinion of their long-dead dad control his actions even now. And he so wished he could have got Dean to talk about it: to perhaps convince him that it wasn't disgusting, or abnormal, and that Sam himself not only had no problem at all with his brother being gay…or at least bi-sexual… but that he would have given anything, anything, if it meant seeing Dean happy.

Surely Dean had deserved a little happiness, what with everything he had done, and given, and suffered? And that was what angered Sam most of all. That the world, and the supernatural, and the whole fucking universe just seemed to keep taking from Dean, and it worried the younger man that his brother was fast approaching his limit of how much he could give.

Or how much left he had at all.

"Quit looking at me!"

"What?" Sam was startled out of his thoughts enough to jerk on the steering wheel and cause the Impala to swerve over the road a little before he could correct it.

"Just watch the fucking road, will you!"

"Sorry. I was just…"

"I'm fine! Let's just go and find what's killing these people in this tower block: the fucking British Men of Letters have left so few Hunters alive that the fucking monsters in America are having a field day!"

"We can find a motel? Rest up a while before we hit the town?"

"I said I'm fine!"

"You haven't stopped. We haven't stopped! Not since… And we've still got no idea where the boy went."

"We'll find him."

"We need to rest. You…"

"I said, I'm fine." This was said with so much anger and malice that Sam sensibly fell silent for the rest of the journey.

But he was still worried.

They found and killed the crocotta that was luring it's victims down to the basement, and hardly had a chance to rest before Dean had found a series of 'accidental deaths' that led them to a vindictive witch.

And she nearly took the older Winchester brother with her as she died, disguising an old, disused well with her magic that he fell into even as he shot her with the witch-killing bullets. Sam took nearly an hour to work out how to get him out from the deep hole: the whole time of which Dean had spent only just managing to keep his face above the surface of the deep, dark, freezing water.

But Dean still insisted he was alright, despite shivering and shaking his way through that entire night, nightmares haunting him and barely able to get warm.

And he immediately wanted to look for another job.

He was sitting on one of the beds working on his laptop when Sam returned with that evening's take-out. "There's been a spate of cattle deaths across Wyoming: bodies have been drained of blood. Might as well take a look."

Dean reached for the coffee that Sam was handing him but exclaimed with annoyance as the younger man suddenly snatched for and removed the laptop out of his way. "Sam! What the hell?!"

"Enough, Dean! You need to take a break! Look at you: you've hardly eaten these last few weeks, you've all but existed on coffee! You've only just nearly drowned, for god's sake! And you're so pale…and yet…" Sam frowned even as he moved to try to put his palm on his brother's forehead. Dean swore at him and tried to bat his hand away, then swore even more as his own sudden movement only succeeded in him sloshing the hot beverage over his legs.

Even as he was jumping off the bed to try and dry himself enough to contain the scalding, Sam managed to get his hand against the flesh between the far too sad green eyes and the soft short hair. "Jesus, Dean! You're burning up! Your skin's all clammy! That's it: you're seeing a doctor! You've caught a fever from being too long in that water!"

"Just hand me my bag: there's some meds in there."

"What, those pills that you won't tell me what they are? The ones that you keep hidden right at the bottom of your bag beneath your Alpha-scent sprays? And I wish you wouldn't use them so obviously. You stink the car out: it's disgusting! I don't mind that you're a beta! I know dad refused to even discuss it once you'd failed to present… the subject was suddenly taboo… and I'm sorry he made such a fuss over me when I did! But I'm not him, and I certainly never have been, and well, you're far more Alpha than anyone else I've ever known, anyway!"

And he glared at his brother who, if it were possible, had paled even more at his words: "No, no! I meant the ibuprofen in the pocket! Just pass me those."

Even as Sam was finding the packet, he was still continuing with his tirade: "You need more than just fucking ibuprofen! You're ill, Dean! If it wasn't from the stress of being in the well, then it was the stress of everything else! You're doing too much! And, while I'm on it: what the hell are those pills? Just fucking tell me! They aren't even marked in any way, not even the container! Why have you got them?"

He handed over the tablets and his brother grabbed for them immediately, slurping a couple down with the remains of his coffee and probably burning all down the inside of his throat in the process. "They're nothing. Let's just eat."

"You've been taking them for years! And I mean years! And you won't tell me! But that bottle keeps being refilled from somewhere…"

"You shouldn't be going through my things!" Dean had decided that attack was the best form of defence and was now approaching the younger man aggressively. "What the hell were you going through my stuff for anyway? How often do you do it?"

Sam stood his ground and faced his older but smaller brother down. "A lot once I realised that you're popping pills regularly! One addict between the two of us is more than enough! What… are… they?"

"None of your fucking business!" And Dean had turned on his heel and was heading straight to leave through the motel room door, slamming it shut behind him with extreme vindictiveness.

Sam sighed to himself, but he was damned well going to keep asking no matter how mad Dean got at him every time he broached the subject, even though now he had been asking for years. Because he was worried about what the pills were since he had found them that first time by accident whilst looking for clean clothes for his, at the time, concussed and bloody brother. Especially since they seemed to have been one of the first things that Dean had replaced on his return from Hell - he had checked. There had been a fresh, full bottle of the things already purchased in his brother's bag when he had finally found Sam that night in the motel room. And after Purgatory. What the hell were they?

Over the years he had tried to research the blank-faced white tablets on and off, whenever he thought about it, during the times between the fights, and the lies, and the betrayals, and the separations, and the hateful words, but to no avail. He had looked at countless websites, but couldn't be sure: there were so many small white pills on the market. He had actually sat and counted the amount in the bottle at one stage, and worked out that, whatever they were, his brother took two religiously every day. But he still had no idea what they were for, or even where Dean got them from. And, although it had crossed his mind more than once to simply… replace them… with substitutes and see what happened, he never had.

Because what if Dean really did need them? What if there was really something wrong with him, and Sam didn't know…?

He was still pondering this as he drove to Wyoming the next day. His brother had returned to the motel in the early hours of that morning, stinking of alcohol and having probably not eaten… again. Although at least he had sat and devoured the stone-cold chicken and noodles for breakfast, much to the younger man's disgust, but he had said nothing about the argument of the night before.

Neither of them had.

Now Sam glanced across at where Dean was slumped against the passenger door trying finally to get some sleep. If anything, he looked worse than he had done the previous day: his face was pale but covered in an unnatural looking sheen from a definitely feverish sweat. Despite his annoyed frustration at his brother, Sam couldn't help but reach across to feel his skin again: it felt clammy and was radiating a worrying unnatural amount of heat. A lot of heat.

Dean immediately stirred at his touch and angrily moved to sit up straight in his seat. "Get off!"

"We're finding you a doctor."

"What the…? What the hell for? I'm fine! Just need some rest!" And he was turning away from Sam again, hunching into his jacket even as sweat started to prickle in large beads of moisture along his hairline.

"You're not fine! You're not! Look at you! You're burning up! But I've never seen you have a fever like this before: it's all through you! You're so restless! You've been moaning in your sleep and wriggling in your seat for the last hour! The sweat is dripping off you! You need to go to a doctor!"

"I said, I'm f…" But Dean abruptly broke his words off. "What did you just say?"

"I said, you're as fidgety as hell! It's distracting for fucks sake: I'm trying to drive here! And your temperature is going through the roof: you're even making the leather damp where you're sitting! And you look awful, Dean: you're really sickening for something! What?"

Because if it were possible, his brother had gotten even paler. In fact it looked almost as if he were about to faint. "Oh shit."

The words were hardly breathed out loud: Sam almost thought he had imagined them. "What?" Then he was slowing the car to the side of the road in a panic as he really thought Dean was going to keel over. "Shit! Are you okay?"

Even as he reached to his brother Dean was pulling away from him, his eyes wide and panicked. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"Dean? What is it?" But there was no way that Sam was being allowed to get his arms around him although he was now really worried about the health of the older man and as well, swore that he could see him trembling. And his brother never trembled: he would never show such a physical weakness unless there was really something that… but then Sam's thoughts were disturbed as he was roughly and quite viciously being pushed away by the older man, hard enough to knock him back against the door on his side.

"We have to go! Find a motel! Cabin! Anything! Now, Sam! Now!"

Sam stared but obeyed, restarting the Impala and pulling back smoothly onto the road. Although he was watching Dean now as much as he was keeping his eyes on the road. Because he hadn't imagined it: his brother was physically shaking, as well as now being huddled into himself on the seat. And he was obviously determined not to catch the younger man's eye.

"What's going on, Dean?"

"Nuttin'. Can you just find a motel?"

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Nuttin'! Just drive, will you!"

It was a short but incredibly uncomfortable and tense half hour or so before Sam saw a sign proclaiming 'vacancies'. "Here okay?"

"Fine." It was barely a grunt.

They headed up a small dirt track that meandered through the thick forest of a national park and came out in a small clearing that contained a reception hut, a small store and launderette facilities. Beyond those lay numerous wooden cabins, most with decent parking beside them and already a car or two, but there were a couple of buildings barely visible through the trees that seemed to be reachable only by rough tracks. In any other circumstance, Dean would have immediately complained about just the thought of taking his Baby along those ruts.

"Sam, can you get one of those at the back, will you? As far away from the others that you can? For a week." And Dean was struggling out of his seat, seemingly barely able to hold himself up without needing the support of his hand on the sturdy roof of the Impala as he moved to get his bag from the rear. The younger man stared, but hastened to obey despite his automatic and natural desire to go and help his brother. He couldn't make sense of any of this, but the way Dean was acting…and looking… had him beyond worry.

He returned almost immediately with some paperwork and a set of keys. "There's one vacant right at the back, at the end of that so-called track. It will mean bumping the car down there, but we should be able to park her right outside while we…"

"The cabin's just for me!" And Dean was snatching the door key from him. "You take off. Come back in a week or so."

"But…"

"Bye, Sam." And without a single backward look, Dean was glancing at the number of the cabin from the key, wiping the ever-increasing puddle of sweat from his clammy forehead on his sleeve, taking a deep breath, and setting off determinedly if somewhat unsteadily down the rough track.

His brother stared after him in disbelief. "Dean?"

The other didn't even turn: "I'm fine! See you in a week, Sammy!"

Sam stood incredulously and watched as his big brother disappeared from view amongst the trees, barely aware of the breeze coming from behind him that was enough to knock branches and jostle any loose leaves off their stems, as well as blow his hair across his face. It was with more than annoyance that he shook his bangs back: what the hell was going on?

Moodily he returned to the Impala and all but slammed the door as he slumped into the driver's seat, banging his hands against the wheel in frustration at his brother. Dean was ill. Sam could see he was ill. He should be with him. Why had Dean told him to go? He took a deep breath in, trying to calm himself down.

And then another.

And another.

He could swear, now he had got back into the car after driving inside it for so long, that there was a scent that he hadn't registered before… one beneath the accustomed and somewhat overpowering aromas of two Hunters travelling together… of his own intense Alpha Scent, and the nose-wrinkling cosmetic sprays that Dean used to cover his natural beta scent to give the impression of him also being an Alpha… and the blood and the sweat and the general stench of dirt and grime and filth that went with their job…beneath all of those, there was a smell of… omega in the car.

Anxious omega. Scared omega. Coming into heat omega. But that was impossible. Because there had only been him and Dean in the car for the last few weeks.

Only Sam and his brother.

And he was an Alpha, so who…?

Sam had the Impala in gear and was bumping it down the track before he had even realised. He didn't even bother to close the driver's door properly as he ran towards the cabin, immediately banging his fist against the locked wooden barrier between him and his brother. "Dean! Open up!"

"Sammy, go away!" The reply was muffled but the younger man could hear the pain and fear in it. He pounded louder.

"Dean! You open this immediately or so help me…!"

There was no audible response but Sam's sharp ears caught a slight sound from the interior: it almost sounded like a whimper. His desperation to get inside increased. If Dean couldn't or wouldn't open the door for him, then he would just have to find another way in. Decisively he reached for his lock-picking kit…

"Is there a problem here?"

Sam turned quickly to find the rental manager approaching behind him. With a bunch of master keys in his hand. Immediately Sam was snatching them from him. "Hey!"

"The door closed, I got locked out. But he's not well, I don't think he can get back to let me in!" Desperately he began to try keys in the lock.

"It's that one." And the beta was taking back the bunch to find the correct one and using it to open the door for Sam. He rushed in to find his brother but came to an immediate halt, unable to believe his nose.

The first impression pf the interior should have been of a nice little cabin: basic furniture; couple of small couches; easy chairs; low coffee table in front of a small but presumably functional television set. Beyond those, an open-plan cupboarded area which passed as the kitchen complete with sink, hob and microwave and a larger table and chairs. More rooms off to the back. A pleasant place to pass a relaxing week or two.

But now it was already and completely saturated by the scent of an anxious to the point of being terrified omega.

And of an omega that was rapidly approaching his heat.

And of anomega that smelt fucking amazing.

"Dean!" And he was racing through the main room to the bathroom from where the aroma seemed to be emitting from, trying to fight down his own immediate instinctive arousal to the scent, desperate to find his brother. He came to a screeching halt when he found him lying in the empty bath.

Dean had managed to get out of his over-flannels and the t-shirt beneath to enable him to press the bare skin of his torso against the coolness of the porcelain, but the overpowering warmth building internally inside him now felt that it would ignite soon and burn him down to ash. Sweat poured off him in enough quantity to make his back and chest glow as if oiled, and he was shivering so much with the effort of fighting his own nature while trying desperately to remove the rest of his clothing, that the entire tub was shaking in sympathy.

"Shit!" And Sam was already on his knees beside it, everything else in his mind mentally shoved to one side in his worry over his older sibling. Reaching in, he began to try and lift Dean out. "We've got to get you to the bed. Come on!"

"No." And his brother was pushing his hands away, or trying to. "Turn the cold on! And then g'way, Sam. Please."

"Do you need a hand?"

Sam had forgotten the beta who had followed him into the cabin but the part of him that was Alpha wasn't about to let anyone else get anywhere near his brother when he was in this state. Or ever.

Before he had even realised what he was doing, he was back on his feet and towering over the manager: the irises of his eyes suddenly an unnatural intense vivid red that almost glowed; his growl a threat in itself. "Get. Out."

The man swallowed nervously, nodded without speaking and backed away to the main door, carefully closing it behind him. Sam swore out loud to and at himself, but his immediate concern was his brother. Scrubbing his hands through his hair, he was straight away back down on the floor by Dean's side. "What can I do? What do you need?"

"The water." And Dean was torn between trying to get his heavy boots off and trying to twist himself up enough to reach the tap that controlled the shower-head. The latter was solved by Sam's long arm length orangutaning over him and turning it on.

"Cold or hot?"

"Cold." And the older man was panting with relief as the heat in him was driven back by the icy spray over his head and body, albeit temporarily. "Thanks, Sam. But… please…. you need to go."

"I'm not leaving you here like this!"

"You're an Alpha, Sam."

"And… you're an… omega!" Sam could hardly believe the word as he said it. He sat back on the floor as its reality suddenly hit him: "How…? When…? How long have you known? Why didn't I know?"

"Not as smart as you think, eh, College Boy?" Dean's head was now resting against the back of the bath, his eyes closed in seemingly gentle repose although that was belied by his body beginning to shiver violently due to the effect of the cold water this time. But he could already feel the heat bubbling through his blood and building up inside him again, and knew the shower was only going to give a temporary containment. "Sam. I need you to go."

"No!" He saw the older man wince at his outburst, but didn't care. "No. You tell me, Dean. You tell me how… How long have you been hiding this?"

Dean sighed and took the chance to at least remove his boots: the damned laces had knotted in his panicked first attempts to undo them. Without looking at Sam, he leant forward to try and untangle them, the water now coursing over and down his naked back and shoulders. "I was thirteen. The heat came out of the blue: dad was furious. Told you I'd gone on a school trip but he actually dumped me in another motel for the week: locked me in, locked every Alpha out. It nearly killed me. When he came to pick me up, he had the suppressants. Told me to keep quiet and never tell anyone. Because if I did…"

Sam looked across as Dean's words tailed off. "If you did?" he prompted.

There was a silence, a long silence, but the younger man was sure he could see moisture trickling from beneath his big brother's eyelids before it merged with the cold water from the shower. He wanted to wrap his arms around the other and console him, but… he also wanted to hear what he should have already known. "If you did?"

"I'm an omega, Sam. Look at me: I'm useless. A nothing. Just good for breeding and keeping house. Dad couldn't hide his disgust every time he looked at me. I tried to be an Alpha for him, tried as hard as I could, but… he always made his disappointment clear. I'd let him down, and, if anyone had found out, then I'd have been on my own. Just a baby-making machine. No doubt about that."

"You're not useless, Dean!"

"Yeah, I am, Sam. Dad always thought so. You do. You're both right, I am!"

The younger man stared at him aghast. "I don't think that, Dean!"

His brother snorted even as he managed to finally get free from the resisting footwear and pull his thick socks off as well, but remained silent.

"I've never thought that, Dean!"

"You told me I was. Told me how I always hold you back. Stupid, weak, useless Dean."

Sam couldn't believe this: "That was the siren, Dean. We both said things that day: that was years ago! And you know I was…" He couldn't finish, didn't want to remember any more about all the events around that time.

"But you meant it, Sam." Dean's voice was low, his eyes still staring down at his bare feet. His voice was low, and now shaking with far more than just reaction from the cold water still pouring all over him. "That's what you think when you look at me: rolling your eyes at my stupidity. I see you. I know I'm not smart like you. Let you down every time. Embarrass you by showing myself up every time I open my mouth. No wonder you've never wanted me around. And that's before you knew…this." His hand gestured at himself but he didn't raise his face at all. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I tried so hard. Just kidding myself I suppose."

"Dean, where the hell is this coming from?" And Sam was raising himself back up on his knees, and moving to lean over the side of the bath and embrace his brother, regardless of the almost freezing water still pouring down from the over-bath shower trying to soak through his shirts as he did.

But even before he could, Dean was suddenly groaning and arching his back against a spasm of heat as it built up again and surged back through his entire body. For the first time, his eyes flecked momentarily with the pure gold of an in-heat omega, although they almost immediately returned to their normal spring-forest colour with the force of the next ice cold dowsing from above him. Sam couldn't contain his gasp of pure lust at the sight.

The green pupils focused hazily on him then were turned away again. "I'm that repulsive, huh? Just an omega: no better than a whore. You better get going, Sam. I'm gonna be out of control and hitting on you soon. Just text me where you've left my Baby."

"What?"

"You can leave, Sam. Just like you always want to." His words were definite. Final.

Whispered with so much sorrow.

"I'm not going anywhere, Dean!" And Sam was climbing right into the bath as well and straddling his brother's legs so he could get close enough to hold Dean's face tight in both his hands. "And I'm not leaving you! Why would you even think that?"

"Because you always do! You always do. I wonder every day if this is the one that you… every day! Just go, Sam. Now's your chance to! You don't want to be saddled with something like me!"

"Dean, I'm not… Look, we can talk about this another time, but, right now you need help! You're going into heat. You're going to need an Alpha to help you through this!"

"No!" And Dean was trying to pull away from his touch, banging his head hard against the bath as he did. "No Alpha! I've never let a fucking knothead near me, not going to start now! I've got a toy hidden in the false base of my bag: you never found that! I'll manage. Just g'way, Sam: I don't want you to see me when I…" he paused, his eyes filling with tears again. "Not what I am."

"You've never been with an Alpha, Dean?" Sam was stunned. "But… all the… experience… you've had…?"

"Betas. Always! The occasional omega. Never an Alpha. Well only…" Sam frowned at the pause but remained silent, not wanting to interrupt. "But I had no other choice…. and he… But I've never messed around with Alphas: too much of a risk. If they'd realised what I was, I'd have been claimed and bred in a heartbeat, just another fucking useless omega."

"We're not all like that, Dean. I'm not."

The response was a grunt and a hard shove away with the use of both hands against his solid chest, although he managed not to lose his grip on Dean completely. "You'd be the worst. You'd see it as your duty: your stupid, helpless omega brother that someone has to take care of. You'd go and get yourself stuck with me, and hate me even more than you already do!"

"I don't hate…" The younger man began. He just couldn't believe this: it was like the floodgates of Dean's emotions had opened with the onset of this heat and the things he was saying… Sam just couldn't understand where it all was coming from, but he couldn't bear seeing his brother this upset.

"You do! You must do!" And Dean was shouting at him, even as he was starting to tremble and convulse again while still trying to hold Sam at arm's length. "I should have got it years ago: just another example of how stupid I am! Just a stupid omega. All those memories: your 'happy times'! All from as soon as you got away from me!"

Sam's thoughts raced: Heaven, he must be talking about Heaven! "No. No! Those were manipulated, Dean! That was done to hurt you, you can't believe them: that wasn't my true memories!"

"No. Because all of yours would have been of your girl, wouldn't they, Sam? You had that fight with dad and you walked out…but you walked away from me as well, didn't you? Never looked back, did you? Wouldn't even talk to me. Never even picked up!"

"I just… I was going to. I missed you so much, De…"

"Yeah, sure. You were living with her, Sam. That didn't happen overnight, did it? You must have dated for months…years. You were gone for years, Sam. And you never…" he was crying openly now, in full floods of almost irrational tears as all the hurt finally broke through his carefully constructed mental barriers. "You never once! Would you have ever told me about her? When you got married? When you had kids? Would you ever have bothered if I hadn't come to ask you for your help? I'm sorry I did that, Sam. I'm sorry I took you away from your girl when she got killed! I just…wanted to see you, to know you were okay…"

"Dean, I…"

"And then you took up with… her." The hatred in his voice at the thought of Ruby even after all these years made Sam wince. And the shame of what he had done because of the demon washed over him again all over again. But his brother was still talking… "You must think so little of me if even something like…her…was better to be with. Anything was better than weak, useless Dean. I should have got it, but dad's right: I'm so stupid. So pathetic."

"Dean, you're not…"

"And then Purgatory! You didn't even bother! You didn't even bother, Sam. And after? You told me you'd rather be dead than with me. Not brothers any more. Never wanted to be brothers. You never did, did you? I was never good enough to be your brother… I'm sorry, Sam. I tried. I really did. I'm sorry I'm just a stupid omega. Just an embarrassment."

Sam only just managed to hear these last words as he now had Dean's head all but buried into his water-soaked shirts with his strong arms tight around the older man. He held his big brother as he cried, and tried to find the words to apologise yet again. He knew he had hurt Dean over the years, but he thought they had got through it. But now… he was stunned by these admittances, these accusations, the emotion that was exploding from his usually hardly- voluble brother. Just how long had this all been festering away inside Dean?

All his life, his own brain supplied the answer unhelpfully. Dean had buried this all his life. Because he had to. Because he had been told to. By their Alpha father. And only now, as the suppressants were finally failing was his true, emotional, sensitive, loving omega self finally breaking through. And all the hurt in his life that he had buried.

And there was so much of that, that Sam could hardly be surprised that it was finally being released. This was his mental wall, a self-imposed one, crumbling to bits.

And it didn't help that Sam knew how badly he had let him down, and would always have the shame at the back of his mind. Hell, he had let everyone down, but it had always only ever been Dean that mattered. And he knew that, no matter what he did, no matter how many people he had saved since, no matter how he tried to convince himself that he had gone some way to making amends, he would always be remembered as the arrogant, reckless, power-addicted, fucking stupid little boy who unleashed the Devil on the world.

And he could never put that right: even now they were still battling the consequences, him and Dean, as Lucifer's son was now on the loose.

Because of him and his mistake.

All because of Sam Winchester, who chose to trust a demon over his brother, and sent the world, and himself, down the pan.

But he had thought that, at least as far and he and his brother went, at least they had gotten past all the blame and the fights… and the hurt. He obviously was very, very wrong.

He knew Dean had always been so good at hiding his emotions… and well, everything. Hell, he had hidden this. And for years. And Sam was stunned by this, because omegas, by their very nature, are naturally very emotional as well as very loving… and usually extremely gentle. They certainly weren't known as fighters.

Yet Dean had managed to bury all of his natural instincts. More than that, on probably every single day of his life, he must have fought against them, or had been trained to: how else could he have been able to ignore any other Alpha's order… apart from their dad's of course? Dean had followed those to the letter, even to the extent of denying what he was. It must have been so hard for him. Harder than Sam could ever had realised.

Sam blinked: his brother was an omega! Always had been an omega! Suddenly Dean's usually resented over-protectiveness of him made sense. His too-loud brashness made sense. In fact a lot of things suddenly made sense. Why the hell hadn't he ever noticed?

And of course…now that the mask was slipping, loosened by the failing suppressants, so were the emotions coming out. And it was breaking Sam's heart. Knowing just how much he had hurt his brother. And knowing that he could never apologise enough.

It would never be enough.

By this time, Sam had his mouth nuzzled against the top of Dean's head, his lips tasting the cool water even as it ran down from the short hair and flowed in miniature torrents over the bare skin beneath. And slowly, he felt Dean's shoulders cease from shaking with tears and instead begin to tremble from the heat building internally as it began to surge through him once more in earnest.

He knew when he next looked at his brother that his eyes would again be beginning their change to gold: the visual signal of an omega's optimum time for successful impregnation. He could scent the sweet and incredibly arousing smell beneath his nostrils, and feel his own denim-tightening reaction to it. And the temperature of Dean's body was rising high enough now so that Sam almost expected to see the droplets of water turn to steam as they sprayed down on him. And he never wanted to let go of him.

But now Dean was pushing at his chest. Sure enough, the green was flecked with pure beautiful brightness, but his brother still somehow had it under control. Sam knew no other omega could be still thinking with any clarity at all at this stage: that was both their blessing and their downfall, the overwhelming desire to breed once in heat over-rode everything. His heart swelled with pride for the strength of his one, both mentally and physically, for the display of resistance and mind…and stunning half-naked beauty… that he was unintentionally putting on. He sat back on his heels, reluctant to let the older man move from beneath him in the bath. He wanted to be touching him…never let him go, for the rest of his life.

But then Dean was twisting his legs out from under and reaching up to turn the water off, his own internal body temperature now risen way beyond the efforts of the freezing water. Without looking at his brother, he all but tumbled himself over the side and out, regardless of his clinging wet and dripping denims. "It hurts so much. I can't… it's too strong, Sam." He commented to the floor as he struggled to his feet, panting against the heat inside him. "I've got to get my stuff ready. And you can leave."

"I'm not going anywhere, Dean. You need help, and we need to talk about this." Sam grimaced as he also tried to get up off his knees, his own clothes now water-sodden and chilling in the air. He started to pull at them, stripping the top half of his body as quickly as he could, exposing his hard-worked for ripped torso and depositing his shirts with the rest of the soaking items in the bath, but paused at the irritated sigh from his brother.

"Always the fucking talking. Talking don't make the hurt go away. It don't stop the nightmares from coming. It don't do nothing except make you feel better, because at least you've 'tried'." His hands came up to give obviously sarcastic air-quotes. "I need you to go, Sam." He had nearly got to the door by this time, although he was only keeping from collapsing to his knees with an obvious effort. "And I don't want you to come back."

"I said, I'm not going anywhere!" It was snarled at his brother's back. Sam gave up trying to get his own boots off and jumped out of the bath, nearly slipping on the wet floor, to go after him.

He found Dean already in the main bedroom, leaning one-handed against the double bed as if he needed its support, water seeping from the base of his jeans onto the floor mat in an increasingly large puddle, as he pulled his bag open with the other. "I still don't understand, Dean. How have you kept this so secret? How… I mean… your very nature? You're an omega, for god's sake! How did I not know? How could I be so close to you every single day and not know?"

The other didn't look round: "I made sure you didn't get too close. Didn't want you to… Y'know."

"But… how?"

"Oh come on, Sam! You don't really think I'm so disgusting that I'd flick blood and gunk across where I live, or iron your shirts with stinking beer because I thought it was funny? But at least it made you repulsed. At least it kept you a step or two away…"

Sam stared. And thought about how gross he always thought Dean was… yet how scrupulously clean he kept the kitchen in the bunker, even after he'd been baking his delicious cakes… and how neat and precise he kept his few belongings, even more perfect than their father had done… and how immaculate the Impala always was and how she purred along the road… and how wrong he himself had got everything.

Then Sam was pausing and watching as his brother simply tipped his scrupulously folded belongings out all over the covers of the bed in his haze of desperation so he could reach inside and pull out a false bottom from inside, revealing a large knotting dildo and a brand new pack of batteries to power it.

Despite himself the younger man moved across to pick the heavy device up, incredulous that it must have been in his brother's bag all that time and idly deciding that, despite its weighty girth, it still wasn't as big as he was! But how could he have missed it every time he went to count those pills!? Then he noticed the disclaimer tag still attached to the base. "This looks brand new! Have you even tried this? What do you normally use? And how the hell have you hidden your heats from me: how many have you had? Dean! Answer me!"

He was using his Alpha voice.

Sam prided himself on never using his Alpha voice, or even 'Alpha-ing out' when he was fighting, because Dean never did. And Dean was the best fighter, the best Hunter, the best man that Sam had ever known, so if Dean could manage not to use it, then Sam would proudly follow his example….

But of course he had always 'known' his brother was just a beta anyway, although probably every single other person outside their family thought he was Alpha. But still… If Dean didn't need the voice to be the best, then Sam didn't either… But now…instead… Dean was omega! And Sam's very first reaction had been to use his Alpha voice against him. To expect to be immediately obeyed because that was what omegas should do.

He felt so ashamed. Especially when he felt the shining green-gold eyes on him. "I'm so sorry, Dean." He had never heard his own voice so small. Never wished so much that he could shrink to match.

His brother nodded and all but collapsed to sit on the bed instead. He was now shaking and shivering all at the same time, trying desperately to hold off the final surge when the heat would take over and his sanity and self-control would be completely lost for a few days. But if this was the last chance that he would ever have to talk to Sam, then he would fight the urge to give in to it for as long as he could. "This will be my third ever heat. The second happened in Purgatory. Luckily it was only my soul that went to Hell: no such worry there!"

"But." Sam was frowning as he tried to comprehend that. "You said they started when you were thirteen?"

"And finished. Until now, when the suppressants have finally failed: I've been waiting for it to happen for years."

"Are you telling me?" The Alpha voice was out again, but now Sam didn't care in his sudden intense fury. "Are you saying that you've been on suppressants all this time? All these years? You're nearly forty for fucks sake! Do you realise at all how dangerous that is? The side effects alone are…" His words stalled as the old anger and hatred reignited inside him. "He made you stay on those things all this time. And you have even after he died because he told you to! Don't you get what you could have been doing to yourself… the damage?"

"Sure I get it, Sam." The omega's tired but always calming voice made the younger man want to bury his head into his brother's denim-soaked lap and cry. "But I never expected to even hit thirty, let alone survive this long. I just take every birthday reached as a win."

Sam stared at him incredulously. How the hell could his brother had hidden this? How could he have deceived everyone for so long? He should never have had to! And how the hell could he himself have been so blind?

A thought struck him: "How did you manage in Purgatory? Although… Cas was with you. I suppose he knows? He rebuilt your body after Hell, so he must? Did he… help you?" He was surprised by the jealousy that surged through him at the thought.

Dean snorted and looked down at his toes once more. The water had soaked into the rug now and by digging them into the soft fibres, he could cause it to collect around them like the tide pools around bare feet along its shore. "He knew. Course he did: it didn't matter to him. Not to angels, not to demons. Not to most monsters, in fact. But he said that he didn't want to attract attention to me there, said his grace would be like a beacon to everything else there. So he went." Sam could hear the bitterness in his brother's next words. "I was the only fucking human in that place! My scent was all over it, especially once my heat hit! You try hiding that! No chance of any suppressants there!"

He paused. Sam waited.

Finally Dean sucked in a breath and all but spat out: "From comparing notes after I found him, I was the fucking shining beacon! They fucking found me every time! Not a single day passed that they didn't fucking find me!"

"But how did you…?"

And as Dean looked up at him, with those strange green-gold eyes that were suddenly shining with anger and… something else…, Sam knew. And, just as suddenly, the strange…hatred and irrational resentment… that he had felt ever since Dean had returned from that terrible place burst over him again. "Benny."

"He promised he wouldn't knot me. Of course, if he'd had, and we'd have been attacked then, then we'd both have been killed. But… he always controlled himself. Every time. Only one I ever let… Could have claimed me anyway and I'd not have been able to do anything about it, but he kept his word. Watched my back as I watched his. Never let me down."

He was looking down again, scuffing his toes against the weave of the mat now to create different patterns. "The only one never to. Only Alpha I've ever trusted. He helped me find Cas because I asked him to. Helped me get back to you. And when I got back and you hadn't even bothered…" his words faltered momentarily, but then he forced himself to carry on. Forced himself to finally take this last chance to tell his brother the truth.

"And then you immediately hated him. After all he had done for me, you just wanted to kill him. As if that hadn't mattered… I hadn't mattered. Even after everything you did with that bitch…"

"Dean, I…"

"I miss him."

Sam took a deep breath and tried to restrain his instinctive Alpha reaction to the wave of intense sadness in the scent of his omega that had just washed over him. And his own personal reaction to what Dean had just said. Tears pricked at his eyes: his brother was right, he had hated that vampire. But he didn't know why.

Well… perhaps now he did.

He glanced down at Dean. The older man was still sitting and staring at his feet, but Sam could see the exhaustion through his body, and the trembling had morphed into outright shaking. He wouldn't be able to fight it for much longer: it was nearly fully upon him.

Willing him to hold on just that little bit longer Sam went to the floor in front of him, regardless of the wet gathering immediately around his knees, hands resting on Dean's thighs as he looked up into his brother's face. He was relieved to see the green momentarily overpowering the gold.

Dean's tears of sorrow were flushing them clear.

"You want the truth, Dean? You want the truth about why I left? Why I didn't call you: why I couldn't?"

His brother stared down at him.

Sam forced himself to continue: to reveal his long-hidden emotions. "I have always, for as long as I can remember, wanted you in a way that no Alpha male should want his beta brother. That night I presented, it was a good job dad was there and insisted on taking me out to get drunk because…I wanted you so badly. That was my first and only thought. I wanted to rip you out of your clothes and just sink myself into you and… and I would have, Dean…

And when he used to shout at you, or put you down, it used to make me so angry: I just wanted to kill him. To take you away and look after you. And that wasn't natural. Wasn't normal.

That's why I left. Because there was something sooo wrong with me. And… I loved Jess, I did, but if I'd heard your voice again on the phone… that gorgeous, sexy, deep gravelly voice… or seen your face… I missed your smile so much.

I never thought about how it must have looked to you. I was so busy missing you that I forgot you were missing me as well, and I'm so sorry for that.

And, when I found out about what Azazel had done to me? It was a relief, Dean: a real relief! I had a reason why I'm so warped, so damaged. To be so strongly sexually attracted to my own brother? But it was the demon blood to blame. Not my fault. That was such a relief, Dean.

But when you were taken away from me… and so violently. I lost it, Dean.

And because of that, I lost you.

And I've never realised how much I hurt you through it all. I'm so sorry, Dean. But… I still want you. I always have, I always will. I wish I'd claimed you that night… every night… because, even if my mind's been as thick as shit all this time, my body's known what you are. You're my…"

He broke off abruptly as his brother suddenly cried out and all but fell off the edge of the bed on top of him where he knelt. Sam caught him instinctively as he collapsed down, swearing out loud as he saw Dean's eyes now far more gold than green. And the heat of the blood running through his veins was causing him to convulse from the strain of trying to contain it.

Dean had to release the pressure. He had to give in to his most basic nature and just allow the pure instinct of an omega - that of breeding at all costs and nothing else – to take over. It was that or die.

"Oh, like fuck are you giving in now!" And Sam was half carrying him, half man-handling his brother back to the bathroom. "I need you to listen! I need you to hear me!"

By getting one of his strong thighs behind both of Dean's, he managed to lift him once more into the tub and climbed in after him, kicking the discarded and sodden clothing and boots out of the way as they landed together in a mishmash of limbs. Immediately Sam was reaching up to the shower tap, this time also snatching the hose itself down off its support so he could direct the freezing spray straight onto the older man's face.

Dean spluttered and tried to recoil, but Sam had a firm grip on his chin and jaw and forced him to stay where he was. "Dean. Dean! I need you to look at me. I need you to hold on and understand what I'm saying to you!"

The golden eyes opened to stare straight into his. "Dean!" it was his Alpha voice. "Come back and talk to me. Say my name, Dean! I need you to do that."

"Alpha…"

"No. No!" Sam swore again and moved the hose so that the water ran directly down from the other's forehead. "Look at me, Dean. Say my name! Tell me my name!"

Dean blinked and tried again to pull away from the unpleasant torrent threatening to smother his nose and mouth, but Sam wouldn't let him. "Look at me, Dean!" He tried to obey, spluttering and gasping, and blinking. A lot of blinking. And gradually, the gold subsided and some green at least could be seen once more, although the sweat now pouring from his quivering body more than equalled the water running over his chest.

"That's good, Dean. Tell me my name. Say it, Dean."

"Sh…sham. Sam? Shammy?" He was dazed, drugged by his own overpowering natural surge of testosterone. It was too much: the intensity of this heat caused by the failed suppressants was getting too much. He didn't have any energy left to fight it off any more: he had to just give in.

"That's good, Dean. That's good. I know this is hurting, it must be hurting so much, but I'm going to help you, Dean. I promise you that, but… I need you to let me!" Sam's face was inches away from his brother's, trying desperately to keep his attention focused on him. "I want to claim you! I want to be your mate! But… I need you to understand this, Dean. I have always wanted that!

I'm not doing just because you need help: I'm doing this because you're my omega! And I have always wanted you!

But I will not be a rapist Alpha, I won't! I couldn't bear it if you hated me after… So… I will either help you through this without knotting you. Although God help me I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep my hands off you, I'm not Benny! I don't know how he had the strength to do that: not when he could have had you…

Or… you give me permission, Dean. You have to want me to claim you. And for that, you have to agree. You have to understand and tell me that's what you want as well! Dean? Dean. Do you understand? I am asking if you will accept me as your mate?"

The other stared at him: Sam wasn't sure if he were focused on him or not, but then… "Sham? No. Not your problem: just leave…"

"I'm not… going… anywhere, you idiot! I love you! I always have!" And Sam was kissing Dean suddenly. Hard. Passionately. Then he was pulling his mouth away and pleading. "I want to be your mate! I want us to be mates! I want to help you through this heat and claim you, and for you to claim me. Because this is what we should always have been! But I won't let you down any more, I won't. You have to want it as well. "

He stared into his brother's eyes, willing him to be able to just hold on that last few seconds. This was as serious as heats got, Sam could already see that. Years of suppressants suddenly failing meant it could very well be a life or death one. Dean needed help urgently, and Sam needed to be the one to provide it: the thought of anybody else even touching his brother was…

But he would never force Dean to accept him. He had already hurt him far too much through his life to make him worry that Sam had acted now out of anything less than love.

And it went both ways. The brothers had been through so much, Sam had been through so much, and he was so aware that he had only survived because of his brother's love for him. He mattered to Sam more than the younger man could ever be able to tell him, and he could have shaken his brother in his frustration. Dean had to stay coherent enough to give his agreement for what Sam was about to do. What he so wanted to do, and would even if it wasn't Dean's life hanging in the balance.

He needed his brother to hold on to his sanity for just a few more seconds.

And somehow he managed to: the meadow-greens might have been unfocused and hazy, but they were definitely gazing steadily at his younger brother. "Shu'rh?"

"I'm sure, Dean. I want this, I want you. Please. Let me mate with you, I love you so much. I'll never let you down again: you'll never regret it, I promise."

He waited anxiously for what seemed like forever.

"Kay." And the older man was tilting his head a little, although Sam thought for a moment that he had lost consciousness the way it seemed to roll on his brother's shoulders, but then he realised: Dean was presenting his neck to him. Actually presenting his neck to him! "Kay, Shammy. Kay. Long as y'shu'rh."

"Oh God, yes, Dean. I've never been more sure of anything!" And he was leaning forward to kiss his brother again, tasting the sweat-saltiness that covered him despite the stream of cold water. Hastily Sam turned the tap off and went to merge their lips once more.

But then Dean was convulsing and twitching as the full-blown flame of intense heat surged and swept through his body, igniting every single atom to the peak of such desire that all but threw the last dregs of his self-control out of the window. His mind was buried beneath the avalanche of lust that took full control: it would not be driven back now until either it was appeased or his body had been completely destroyed by its demands. The colour of his irises changed to such a pure and complete gold that Sam would have been blinded had he not felt his own eyes instantaneously turn to red: his Alpha's instinctive response to a presenting omega in heat.

To his omega in heat.

"It's okay, baby: I've got you!"

But he was taken unawares as the golds focused on him with sudden pinpoint accuracy and the focus of a single-minded predator: "Alpha."

It was a growl and a whine and a threat, and a demand, all at the same time, and the sound rippled through Sam's body to collect in his already straining cock. Then Dean was reaching to pull Sam's face to him with such desperation that their mouths clashed hard enough to draw blood from both. "Alpha. Need… you."

Sam managed to get his hands between them enough to pull himself away and snatch a breath of much-needed air. "Okay. Okay, Dean. Let's get you fully undressed."

But he was almost knocked over on his knees in the bath as his brother was already scrambling out of it, grappling at the buttons on his soaked denims and whining as his shaking fingers slipped and couldn't get enough purchase on the cold material.

Sam hastened to follow, sliding a little and tripping on the discarded items as he also climbed out. "I've got you, Dean. Just…"

His help wasn't needed as his brother's frustration at the wet jeans erupted into a tantrum that resulted in a loud tearing sound and a few large pieces of ripped denim. Almost immediately followed by the shredded remains of his boxers. "Alpha! Please! Hurts!" And Dean was on his hands and knees on the slippery bathroom floor, ass up in the presenting position.

Sam swore and hurried to remove the rest of his own clothes before he poked a hole straight through the crutch of his denims, his desire was so great. He had only ever been with one omega in heat before: it was a rite of passage for every Alpha, and his friends at Stanford had clubbed together for his birthday to buy him an hour in an (illegal) omega-brothel. Before he had met Jess of course.

It had been fantastic, but he had been unable to shake the guilt it had brought: the poor thing had obviously been drugged up to keep her in a state of probably permanent heat. The thought that that might have been Dean's fate given different circumstances now made Sam feel sick to his stomach. And it explained his brother's reaction when he had mentioned it to him: rather than Dean being impressed like he had expected, he had instead been surprised by the momentary look of disgust that flashed across the freckled face before it was hidden.

In fact… the fact that Dean was an omega explained a lot of things that had always confused him about his brother. Or irritated him. And his brother's obsessive protectiveness over him… it all seemed obvious now.

And even as Sam was popping the buttons off in his desperation to remove his own water-saturated pants, his eyes were fixed on the beautiful being in front of him that was Dean. The slightly feminine features, the long eye-lashes, the perfect lips. The bowed legs that would spread just so… Sam wanted them wrapped around him. How the hell had he never realised?

"Alpha!" His brother sounded desperate. He was desperate. The sheen of sweat dripping from his naked body made his whole skin shine, and all of his limbs were shaking and trembling. In fact, he was trembling and shaking: the urge to breed pressing self-destruct on any other instinct he had now. If anything threatening were to enter the room right now, his very survival would only come a distant second to him trying to have sex with it.

"I'm here, Dean. But not like this!" And Sam was giving up on getting his sodden jeans any further down his legs than his thighs, or even removing his boots: instead he simply ripped his way through his own boxers as he moved to flip a surprised Dean onto his back. "Face to face! I want to see you when I claim you: let's get you prepared…"

But his brother was already recovering: with one blur of movement Sam's dreams were coming true. Dean reached with all his limbs and pulled the younger man physically onto and into him: he was so wet with slick, and somehow knew to hold his ass instinctively in just the perfect position, that the younger man's impressively erect cock slid straight inside, ripping a cry of mixed pain and ecstasy from the omega as he was forced so wide internally so abruptly. Sam gasped as those amazing legs wrapped high around his chest and he was in heaven, despite his immediate worry that he might have just seriously injured his brother.

But then Dean was moaning and wriggling, and pleading for release, and Sam's Alpha instinct kicked in immediately, his hips starting to piston into his omega as if possessed.

And he was aware that he was moaning just as loudly. "Oh God, Dean! I… oh God, I'm already knotting!" And he was.

It wasn't going to be the tender, lazy claiming that he had always dreamed about. Although to be fair… in all of Sam's dreams throughout his life about actually finding an omega to mate with… and there had been many of them despite the chance of it actually happening being decreased with every year he had gotten older… but in every single one of them, his desired partner had had his brother's face.

How could he have not realised? He had trusted his visions: why had he not trusted his instincts?

But… because of those dreams, he knew exactly where he wanted to mark his brother. To scar him with the claim mark that would proclaim him as belonging to Sam. And he wanted Dean to bite him back, to be claimed by him as well, but that would be something for when the omega had recovered from the effects of this heat.

Sam used his booted feet to give him leverage on the slippery floor and all but doubled Dean beneath him as he forced his almost fully inflated knot in as far as he could get it, thrilling at the choked cry of pleasure-pain from the other that resulted. He wanted to kiss the pain part away from Dean's lips, but, first thing first. He aimed his mouth instead for his brother's neck just about where the soft flesh met his collar bone: low enough that the resulting mark could be hidden beneath the shirts of the 'FBI' agents that they posed as, but high enough that it would be exposed and obvious in more social situations, telling everyone that Dean was owned; he was desired; he was very much wanted.

He was no longer on the market. Not to anyone.

Sam's canines descended and he bit down. Hard. Dean's eyes flew open, the intense gold brightening the room, but he didn't make a sound other than a choked sigh. The logical part of Sam's brain, the little of it that was still working at that particular moment, hoped that meant his brother was okay with it: the rest of him was howling and growling loudly and proudly from the most intense and satisfying orgasm he had ever had in his entire life, as the mark took and merged them physically and emotionally for the rest of their lives.

He thought after that he might have blacked out momentarily, as the next thing Sam realised was that he was laying crumpled in a heap of heavy living flesh on top of Dean, his knot still twitching and coming inside him. But Dean, rather than the heat being sated briefly by his own coming, was still sweating and shaking with desire and desperation. This really was going to be a major, full-on Heat with a capital H: all those years of suppression had built up to merge violently in this one.

And it flashed through Sam's head, that it probably had been as bad in Purgatory as well: the heat there must have had even more years of continual use of suppressants coming to an abrupt end to fuel it. And Castiel had abandoned his brother there knowing that…

And that must always have been at the back of Dean's mind ever since, despite his obvious feelings for the angel…

And Sam was honest enough to admit to himself that he was overwhelmingly grateful for the betrayal. Because it meant that he had got this chance to claim his brother that he might never have had otherwise.

Even though he wasgoing to beat the shit out of Castiel when and if he ever saw him again.

But nothing else mattered right now, but his brother. His omega. Sam began to try to get his arms around him and gather him up, his large hands holding Dean's ass tight to him so his knot didn't pull and tear the other when he finally managed to stand up with Dean still wrapped around his body like a clinging child. "Let's get you to the bed. Although… I could do with getting you to drink something. You must be so dehydrated: you've been sweating so much despite the almost continual shower on you!"

It was only as he tried to move that Sam realised his predicament: his jeans were still pooled around his ankles, and his heavy boots were in the way of him trying to kick them off. Despite himself, the humour of the situation hit him and he snorted, surprising Dean enough to make the golden eyes focus on him. "Alpha. Please…"

"We're a little stuck, baby. Just hold on." But then his instinct kicked in again as the gold once more blurred with tears of heat-induced anxiety and blood-boiling pain. Even though they were still knotted, his omega needed him now. Sam took a couple of awkwardly shuffled steps towards the wall to use it as support while his hips once more seemed to take on a life of their own, rolling and grinding against Dean as best as they could without being able to thrust, his hand wrapping around the older man's cock, trying to give his brother release in any way he could.

To his own relief, even as Dean came once more between their bodies, Sam felt his knot subside enough to be able to pull himself free. Quickly he put his brother down from where he had him pinned against the wall, aware of how the exhausted omega's legs were threatening to buckle beneath him, and reluctant to loosen his own possessive arms from around him at all. But… he still had his clothes wrapped round his ankles…

He gently put Dean to the floor, trying to ignore the pleading as it started up yet again. Then Sam was kicking and cussing at the rest of his still damp clothes until he had finally managed to get himself fully naked as well. One problem solved.

The next was that Dean desperately needed to drink something. Omegas could, and unfortunately did, die from dehydration during an intense heat because rationality for anything than breeding got driven out of their heads. Even for basic survival needs. And Sam wasn't going to risk losing his brother… his mate… in any way ever again.

It felt good as he lifted Dean into his arms, bridal-style. It felt right. For the first time in his life, Sam felt like a complete Alpha as he carried his brother to the bed and gently put him down on it. "I'm going to get you some water."

"Alpha! Please! Need you!" And Dean was snatching for Sam as he began to straighten up, with need and pain in his eyes, and his scent giving off fear and desperation. And desire.

Sam fought down his urge to simply climb onto the bed and his brother again. "Omega, stay!" It was his Alpha voice, but the other was too far gone to hear anything else now. Dean immediately obeyed the order and sank back on the covers, although he was whimpering and shaking. "I'm coming back. But I'm going to look after all your needs, baby. I'm going to take care of you always, okay?"

The golden eyes focused briefly on him and went hazy again. Sam hurried to the small kitchenette to find a beaker and fill it with water. He really wished he had some food with them: this had really caught them both by surprise and the cabin was mostly for people on vacation: the occupants usually brought their groceries and supplies with them. Desperately Sam tried to think: had they anything at all food-wise in the Impala? Even a bag of potato chips would be better than nothing.

And his bag of belonging was in the car: the only items of clothing he had in the cabin had either been destroyed as he had tried to remove them or were sodden through. He was as naked as the day he was born, and hard as hell.

But those were problems for later. Right now, Sam hurried back to the bedroom, unsurprised to find his brother tearful and desperate on the bed, fingering himself as his need grew. "Mine!" Dean flinched and tried to stop, while Sam swore at himself for his unnecessary but instinctive reaction. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to shout at you. Here, drink. And then I can take care of you like you need."

And he held the beaker to his brother's lips because he wasn't convinced that the older man was even capable of holding it steady now, and encouraging him to drain every last drop. The second that Dean had finished drinking, he was trying to scramble once again onto his hands and knees to present, and this time Sam didn't stop him but instead just draped himself over the other's back. He felt Dean sigh with pleasure at the touch of his Alpha's cooler skin against his own, uncomfortable prickling-with-heat flesh, and kissed along the back of his neck in response. This in turn caused his brother to shiver and tilt his head away, trying to expose more of the sensitive flesh there, silently begging for more.

Sam grinned even as he pushed into him again: "When this is over, once I can take my time, I'm going to find out what and where takes you completely out of control. I'm gonna know exactly where to touch and how hard: I'm gonna have you slicking for me while you're behind the wheel of your precious 'Baby', gonna have you begging for me to take you on the side of the road… That sound good, big brother? You going to be my needy bitch? My beautiful, beautiful, omega?"

Dean shivered even more at the dirty words whispered right into his ear, although Sam wasn't convinced that he was capable of understanding them at the moment. It didn't matter. All that mattered was getting Dean safely through this heat: then they had the rest of their lives together to explore each and every kink that they each might have.

Although even as Sam's knot began to swell again and his brother was panting and crying out with release beneath him, he was already thinking of a few that he urgently wanted to try out.

He rolled them both onto their sides once joined, in the hope that Dean might be able to get at least some sleep. But the intensity of the heat had him once again panting and pleading for his Alpha within minutes. "Shit, Dean. This is the fucking side effects of those fucking things, isn't it? If I hadn't followed you in here… You're never going on them again! Never!"

The only response was a series of whines and whimpers, and a serious amount of trembling that Sam now was able to feel deep within his own body. He swore loudly and felt Dean try to huddle into himself, away from the anger of his Alpha. Sam immediately got himself under control and kissed his brother's neck again as gently and as tenderly as he could: "Come here."

He caught at his brother's hips to hold them to his own, and shifted and wriggled on the bed until he was lying on his back with Dean flat on top of him, the heat emanating from his body now soaking down onto the younger man as well. Sam gasped in a breath of disbelief: it was uncomfortable. Stifling. Suffocating.

He wanted immediately to move, to get out from under, to get away from it. If they weren't knotted, then he probably would have. Instead he couldn't help but try and twist his upper torso slightly to one side while pushing Dean slightly to the other, so that, even while their lower halves were still physically joined, his brother's head was now resting tucked against Sam's shoulder with his arm around him, so at least some of the heat was now sliding past the younger man down into the mattress instead.

And he'd only had the sensation for an instant…

"I got'cha, baby." It was the gentlest of whispers into his brother's ear, and then Sam was nuzzling every inch of skin that he could reach with his mouth, and stroking everywhere he could with his hands: teasing and squeezing on Dean's nipples until they were as hard as pebbles; moving further down to caress his abs and stomach; eventually moving to take hold of his cock and bringing him to climax with long, controlled strokes.

By this time, his knot had subsided although his own cock was still straight and true inside his mate. Even as Sam realised this and marvelled at the effect that Dean had on him… had always had on him… his brother had also become aware of it. He was on the move immediately, sitting up and swinging his legs back until he was knelt on the bed straddling Sam, facing away from him.

The younger man understood and let him set the pace this time, just sitting up enough to move them both to the edge of the mattress until Dean could get a better purchase with his feet on the floor instead, then gripped his hips in support while letting the omega just take what he needed for himself. And Dean set such a rate, using his amazingly strong thigh muscles to ride Sam until his knot expanded again, and coming twice more himself as he did, that the younger man had no complaints whatsoever. In fact it got filed in his brain as one of the first things to be repeated once his brother was back in his right mind. God, his mate was incredible.

And he was relieved after, when for the first time since the heat had begun, Dean's internal temperature lowered, not by much, but enough for the utterly exhausted omega to finally fall into a true sleep in Sam's arms. The younger man held him tightly while he waited for his knot to go down yet again, aware of his own increasing hunger. And he was as thirsty as hell.

His brother must be far worse off in both respects.

Sam watched Dean's face as he slept, studying the lines that were now so deeply etched into his skin. He hadn't really looked at his brother for a long time… Dean's 'deliberate' annoying habits probably had something to do with that… but now he could see the stress that pressed onto the all but worn-out soul even in his sleep. It was clear in the shadows beneath his eyes and the wrinkles that permanently edged the full, soft, perfect lips.

The younger man couldn't help but kiss them, as softly as he could for fear of waking the other. "I do get why you tried to hide this from me. You did it because of dad: you did it because you thought it was the best thing for me… but you were totally wrong, you know. And, as soon as you can hold a coherent conversation again, you and I are going to have a talk about wrong you have been…

Because it would have been you, Dean. It would always have been you. I loved Jess: I really did… but she wasn't you. She could never have been you. I just wished you would have let me make the choice... But…"

The words were barely whispered out loud now, as Sam's thoughts returned to one of the darkest periods of his life. "But… if I had known. If you and I had been mates right from the start… then Azazel would have come for you…

It would have been you I watched burn alive on that ceiling…

And I tell you, Dean. If he had taken you from me…" Sam paused, nuzzling his brother's forehead with his lips. "If I'd lost you… I'd have torn the world apart to find that bastard. I have destroyed it all…

So… perhaps… it's better that… I hadn't known. Perhaps this has the work of Chuck behind it. But I so wish I had, Dean. Because we've wasted so much time. We're not going to waste any more. Not a single day. I promise you that, Dean. We're not going to waste a single day from now on."

Tenderly he kissed his brother again, careful not to disturb him, and then slid himself out of the bed. As quietly as he could, Sam looked through Dean's discarded clothed now all over the floor where it had got thrown from the bed with their passion, and found a pair of worn but comfortable sweatpants that his brother used for sleeping in. Sam sighed silently as he pulled them on: they would look ridiculous on his much longer legs, especially as he was still shirtless and barefooted, but at least he could risk going outside the cabin in them without being arrested for indecency.

Where had he put the keys to the impala anyway? And… Sam suddenly remembered…or rather didn't remember… even closing the driver's door! Shit, it had better still be there outside the cabin, or his brother would probably be mad enough to make himself become an omega widow as soon as he was able to think clearly! He hurried out through the cabin door to check…

And nearly fell over a box that was lying just outside on the veranda. Sam stared down in surprise: it was a box of groceries. He could see supplies of coffee and whitener, as well as other bottles and packets. And beside them, an economy-sized pack of bottles of water.

"I got the feeling that your mate's heat had come out of the blue! Thought you might have need of a few things from the store." The manager was sitting waiting on a portable camp-chair, a cool-box beside him and a can of beer in his hand. "I didn't want to risk locking the car in case you'd left the keys in there somewhere. Looks like it's a bad one?"

"I'm sorry about my reaction, earlier." Sam apologised. "It's just…"

"I get it. My sister's an omega. We all get the hell out of the way of her and her husband when she's in heat! Alpha's… they get possessive over their mates! Even after years together! It's the way it is."

"I…" But Sam didn't know what else to do or say. But he really liked Dean being referred to as his. "Thank you. How much do I owe you?"

"The receipt's in the box. And my cell number: call if you need anything else. You can settle up when you leave, or return anything with a long-date that you don't open. From the state of your mate, he looked like he's suffering?"

"His suppressants have failed." Sam admitted. "Caught us by surprise." He felt a slight blush creep over his face at the other's surprise at the admission of their (illegal) use: shit, he was more tired than he realised. "I have to travel a lot with my job. I want Dean with me: he's my… everything. They keep him safer when I'm at work: keep unwanted attention away from him…"

"Hmmm." The beta pondered. "And I bet he gets a lot of attention, doesn't he? I mean, I'm just saying," he added hastily, suddenly aware he was talking to an obviously powerfully built, and definitely possessive Alpha, about his mate! "I just meant: I only saw that glimpse of him in the bath,,. but… he's really beautiful, isn't he? I mean… well, I noticed, and I'm not… I just bet that you're always on guard whenever other Alphas are around, that's all!"

Sam considered and nodded at him. "Always. I hate anyone else looking at him: I always have. And now that the suppressants have failed…"

"They probably won't work anymore." Somehow the manager understood. "Time for a rethink, then."

He was taken aback by the look on the Alpha's face: the possessiveness and love that showed in the dark eyes, the dimples that only emphasised the wide, calculating smile spreading openly across his face. "I already have."

The grin didn't even fade when Sam stubbed his bare toe on the doorframe as he gratefully carried the much-needed supplies into the cabin and put them on the table, before returning to the Impala for his bag of belongings and some clothes that actually fit him! He had noticed some pre-packed sandwiches in the box, and took a couple of them and a few bottles of water with him as he returned to the bedroom.

He wasn't surprised to find his brother awake, on all fours, and just as desperate for his Alpha as he had been previously, although he really wished that Dean could have slept for longer. He quickly stepped back as the older man lunged to pull him down onto the bed with him. "Be still!" It was obeyed with a whimper and tearful eyes.

"Here." Quickly he tore open a sandwich pack: chicken and salad. "You're to eat this, and drink one of these, before I touch you again, Dean. Come on." But his brother didn't move to take the food from him: instead he simply opened his mouth to be fed by his Alpha.

So Sam did.

He had never felt anything as erotic in his life as Dean, kneeling naked on the bed, ate from Sam's hand as well behaved as a large, incredibly sensual, ripped, muscled and scarred, trained gundog. His eyes, still a bright, dazzling gold, never once left the younger man's face. Sam couldn't help but stroke his fingers down his cheek: "Look at you, you're gorgeous like this. I'm going to get my phone and take a picture of you, to show you how beautiful you are when you're as you should be…

And I'll take one of the both of us, to show you how fully you've brought out my Alpha. I bet my eyes are matching yours: I bet they're glowing red. That's because of you, baby: that's what your omega is doing to me." He couldn't help but kiss his brother, the rest of the sandwich all but forgotten.

But then the concern over Dean being dehydrated crept back into his mind, so reluctantly he forced his mouth away from his brother's and grabbed one of the bottles. "Here." Carefully he held it so the other could drink, still holding the older man's face gently but firmly in his other strong hand and caressing his jaw with his thumb. Dean managed fairly well, but as the container was tipped higher he couldn't help a small trickle from escaping his lips to run down his chin and splash onto his naked chest as large droplets.

And Sam couldn't take his eyes off them: he had to lick them off. He had to.

The bottle was put out of the way and he was bending down to lap at and suckle…everywhere…before he had realised, thrilling at his brother's increasingly desperate whines and whimpers, while his left hand was still stroking Dean's face idly, thumb now ghosting lazily over his lips. And then the omega sucked that fat digit into his mouth.

Sam's head shot up as fast as his cock did. He stared up at his brother to find the golds still as focused only on him as previously, but, behind them was a smirk that he recognised: there was just a tiny little bit of Dean behind them now. Sam had seen that smirk used on numerous women over the years, and now it was being directed at him. And God, did it have an effect!

As did the warmth and moisture around his thumb. Especially as the smirk increased a little behind the gleaming, almost blinding eyes, and Dean began to suckle and twirl his tongue around it. Sam couldn't help but push in further, turning his hand to get his fingers in as well, knowing he was probably bruising his brother's mouth… but he could kiss that all better after. "You trying to be the boss here, Dean? You testing me?"

Sam twisted his body up enough to be able to kiss his mate's cheek, and worked his way down to his neck and the new claim mark, loving the way that his brother's body juddered when he licked over the fresh, raised scar. He couldn't resist running his teeth along it again and biting… just a little. Dean moaned and tilted his neck to allow him more access. "Alpha…"

"Or are you trying to tell me what you want… how you want it? You rode me really roughly, Dean. It was amazing. I liked you taking what you wanted. And I think you like being taken. Do you, Dean? We have a violent life: stands to reason that it should cross into the rest of it as well. I know it does with me. Shall we play rough, Dean? Would you like that?"

The moan that greeted this, and the way he sucked Sam's fingers so deep into his mouth that the younger man could scrape his nails against the back of his throat, seemed to indicate that his guess might be correct. Sam smiled and was abruptly on the move: pulling away from Dean enough to remove his sweatpants once more and stand proudly naked right in front of where his brother, his mate, was.

This time he let Dean grab at him, only to find himself suddenly on his knees on the bed astride his brother's body as the omega moved to lie on his back, leaning forward to brace himself against the mattress with one hand and the other around the back of Dean's head, and his cock already all the way down his throat, his hips already thrusting mechanically again. And Dean's hands tight around his ass, where he had pulled Sam in to him. And his brother was incredible at this.

"Shit, Dean! You've done this before, haven't you? I'm gonna want to know, Dean… no more secrets. About anything. Oh Christ, Dean, you're making me…" And he was squeezing the base of himself in a hurry as his knot began to expand. That didn't usually happen, outside of porn films that is. That was the effect his brother had on him. But it was a dangerous thing to do, and there was no way that Sam would risk carrying on with Dean not being in his right mind.

And besides: he was already coming as he would with a beta anyway, moaning with pleasure. Then as soon as he had finished pulsing, he was being flipped over onto his back with Dean scrambling to mount him again. To his intense disappointment, his brother didn't try and pin him down: during the last few minutes of being manoeuvred and sucked, Sam had suddenly and instantaneously run through a few dozen memories where Dean had fought him to the ground and held him down, and his imagination was now supplying far different, and far more erotic, outcomes than had originally happened.

His brother was probably the only one that could ever do that to Sam… certainly the only one he had ever let go on living… and he knew that, once the heat was over, Dean would return to being Dean. His strength would be the same; his stubbornness would be the same; his sexual appetite would probably be far increased if that were even possible, because there was no way that he was going to be allowed to go back on suppressants to dampen his omega instincts again. That was just not an option for his brother any more, not as far as his Alpha was concerned.

God, Sam was so looking forward to it.

But that was a few days away. And Dean was still trapped in full omega in heat mode, and he was being the most perfect subservient, obedient, willing and desperate to be bred sex machine that any normal Alpha could ever have wished for.

Sam had them both turned back over on the bed before the golden eyes could blink. And he made sure to hold Dean down, forcing both his arms above his head and gripping his wrists together tightly in just one of his larger hands as he crawled over him. His brother stared up without fear into Sam's red eyes and wriggled a little with anticipation, and with what the younger man felt was a little amusement.

"You are such a natural slut. My natural slut." Sam had his mouth all over him, wanted to have his hands all over him. Glancing around for something…anything… he noticed his brother's 'FBI suit' amidst the crumpled clothing all around the floor. And his tie.

Sam dragged Dean bodily across the mattress while he reached down and used it to tie his brother's hands together. Now he could do what he wanted. Now Dean was going to get a sample of what Sam wanted for them both, for the rest of their lives. "What's my name?" His voice was already muffled by the necessity of sucking lovemarks all over the older man's neck.

"Alf…Alpha. " Dean was already desperate to be allowed to come again.

"Whose Alpha?" He was biting and nibbling at his brother's nipples, making him arch his back and plead for release.

"M…m'n…my Alpha."

"Your Alpha." And Sam's face and mouth was in-between his legs, finally tasting the intoxicating nectar that was his brother's natural slick and making Dean scream and come just because of his Alpha's tongue nailing that perfect spot over and over again. "And you're mine. My omega. My mate. Mine. For ever, Dean. And longer than that."

The heat lasted three more days. And three long but incredible nights.

Sam was exhausted. But at least the length of time that he managed to get Dean to sleep between the knottings gradually increased before the desperation for another woke him again. And the Alpha had made him drink a bottle of water between at least every other one, and he had managed to get him to eat some food, even if it weren't as much as he would have liked. His beautiful omega was already looking thinner, or so it seemed to his brother's anxious eyes.

And then, suddenly, it was over.

Sam didn't realise at first. He himself was catching some much-needed sleep while still keeping one ear, and eye, half-open, for his brother's arousal and pleas for release to start again. He wasn't quite sure when it registered that Dean's body was no longer giving off heat seemingly equivalent to a glass-blower's furnace next to him. Or that his breaths were no longer being taken as panting, often painful-sounding gasps, but had instead settled into a more normal, steady rhythm.

Carefully he turned them so that Dean, whom he had already come incredibly accustomed to holding in his arms as the little spoon,…he just fit perfectly against his longer body as if made to be there: how had Sam never realised?!... was laying more on his back to allow Sam to see his face. And his instincts weren't lying to him: the heat was definitely ebbing away from his brother.

He had survived it.

Sam rested his head on one elbow and just watched his mate sleep. And his other hand crept down to rest gently on his brother's lower abdomen. And he hoped.

He watched him for a long time, enjoying that, for once, Dean seemed to be genuinely relaxed. It had been a long time…Sam couldn't remember the last time that he had known the older man to sleep so soundly, and he had had years of knowing Dean. And it meant that he also knew when his brother began to wake.

He wanted Dean's first genuine memory after being outed as an omega to be special. Not only special, but it was important that his big brother be assured, immediately, that in no way had Sam acted out of merely only necessity to help him through the heat. Or that it didn't mean anything less than the whole world to the Alpha that he finally had what he had always wanted. Because convincing Dean that Sam really had always wanted him… was probably going to be the hardest thing that the younger man had ever done.

With that in mind, he leant forward to gently press his mouth against Dean's. He began to nuzzle it tenderly, giving soft little licks and running his tongue along his brother's full lips. There was no response for a moment, but as Dean gradually became more conscious, so he started to kiss back and open up to allow Sam access.

The younger man thrilled and pressed his tongue through to tease, while wrapping his hand around the back of the older man's head to hold it steadily. Dean moaned sleepily and brought his hands up to run through Sam's hair, tightening their grip and pulling him down harder as the passion between them grew. He was breathing hard when the younger man ended the kiss out of necessity to get some air into both their lungs, and lazily opened his eyes.

Then blinked and focused.

Then the back-to-normal meadow-soft greens were widening abruptly, and his whole body was stiffening with alarm. His brother was ready for this response though, and tightened his grip, though carefully so as not to bruise the other. "Sam?"

"Hey." And the Alpha bent to kiss him again, unsurprised by Dean this time trying to turn his face away. Sam settled instead for aiming for the older man's jaw where it met his ear, and then nuzzling and nibbling his way back down to where the claim… his claim… stood out proudly on his omega's neck. "You okay? I've been worried: that was the most intense heat I could ever have imagined. You were really suffering for a lot of it. What do you remember?"

"I… " But Dean's hand was now feeling at his neck, causing his already pale face to blanch even more as it came into contact with the prominent newly made scar. "I… You… This…You didn't have to, Sam, you could have just g…"

But Sam's mouth was back against the corner of his, and persistent in its demand that he acknowledge its presence. "What do you remember, Dean? Can you recall anything at all? Do you remember what I told you?"

"You… you told me that you'd always wanted me." Sam paused just long enough to stare directly down into the anxious green eyes as his brother tried his hardest to avoid the intense gaze on him. "You wanted me to know that…you weren't…staying to help me because… you had to, but because…"

"Because I love you. Not just as my big brother, and I do and always will as that, but because I love you… and want you…as my lover. As my mate. As my whole life. And I do, Dean. I really do." He moved to try and kiss him again. "You're mine, now, body as well as soul. And I'm yours. For the rest of our lives."

"But are you sure, Sam? You didn't have to…"

"Completely sure, Dean. I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life. Come here." And he lay down on his back once more, manoeuvring his brother until Dean's head was against his chest and his arms were tight around him. But he could still feel the tension in the other's body. "I mean it, Dean. I'm sure."

"I…" There was a long pause, but Sam waited. "Did you mean it? Or was I just dreaming… You said… it would have been me. Over Jess."

"Trust you to have heard that." And the dimples were showing. "I totally meant it. It's always been you. I chose this life for you. Not for dad, not for the 'family business', not even my own shame at fucking up so badly, but because of you! At least I could be with you, even if it wasn't as I wanted it to be in my dreams…

That's what's been the problem with me: it's always been you, and I never thought that I could ever act on it. I should have. I should have. I should have at least tried to talk to you… but what if you had hated me? Or thought… there was something really wrong with me for loving my own brother like that."

"I'd never hate you, Sam. No matter what you did. But I thought that you'd think I was nothing… like da… That you wouldn't think me good enough to even bother with. I'm sorry…"

"Dean, shut up." And he was on the move again, wriggling down the bed enough to bring himself face to face with his brother once again, never once releasing him from his arms. "You're an omega! That's not nothing: don't you know how unusual you are? A male omega? And you're beautiful, Dean: you really are! I always saw it, but I thought that I shouldn't… But you are so beautiful."

"I'm not beautiful." It was a mumble as Dean looked away. "Awesome, maybe…"

Sam snorted with amusement and tried to move in for yet another kiss. Dean blinked and nudged his face into his brother's neck. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know… it just seems… we've lived together so long and I've forced myself not to get too close, you know? The suppressants contained everything but my sense of smell and I've spent so long… resisting you that…"

"Do you mean, you've wanted me as well?" Anger flared inside the younger man again but he fought to hide it. "How the hell did you manage? Is that why you stayed out so much, went off with so many female betas?" Another piece fitting into the puzzle.

"Yes, but not as many as you think." His brother's mouth was still buried against Sam's neck, the vibrations of his words tickling his skin and the warmth of his breath wafting across him somehow making Sam's cock bounce in response. "I slept a lot in the car, or outside somewhere where I could breathe fresh air, get in control again. Especially the days when your ruts were on their way: I would know they were coming before you did, your scent just… anyway I'd encourage you to find…someone: anyone! Just tried to make myself scarce on the days when your scent got too much."

"God, I wish you'd told me, Dean. Did you never think 'oh, what the hell…?'"

There was a long pause. Sam tightened his arms around his brother, rubbed his lips against the top of his soft head, and waited. "The first rut after you came back: that was the worst. I'd forgotten just how good your scent is: it's amazing; goes straight to my dick every time. I just wanted to climb into bed with you and stay there for the rest of my life…"

"I wish you had."

"You had just lost your girl: that sure as hell wasn't the time to say then. Closest my body ever got to just over-riding the pills though. Luckily you were too caught up with your grief to notice that I was beginning to scent through the concealers: I had to beat up two other Alphas who did though! You thought I just went off on a major bender, but I managed to find a dealer and got the maximum dose possible after that. And stayed on them ever since. And the strongest 'Alpha-scent' sprays! I would deliberately use them around you to make you bitch and choke and tell me what a disgusting jerk I am, but at least you never realised…"

"You are a jerk. But for not telling me. And so am I: you should have felt able to talk to me… Even if you didn't want me, you should never have felt that you had to carry this alone." Sam sighed, and moved his hand to his brother's jaw, tilting it deliberately to make the other look up at him. Once more he moved in for a kiss, as tenderly as he could this time: trying to use it as an apology and a new beginning.

Again Dean stalled a little, his eyes giving away his hesitation.

"What's wrong?" Sam was worried now: had the permission for the mating only been heat-induced? Was his brother really regretting it now? Was he angry at Sam: was he even hating him for forcing the mating while Dean had had so little control? "Dean?"

"I just… it's…"

"What? What, baby, what?"

"It's just…" And Dean was looking down at Sam's naked chest now, and reaching as if to touch the firm, muscled skin gently with just the barest tips of his fingers, but not actually connecting. "I've spent so long…admiring…and wanting…and not being able to… it just seems weird, you know?" The stunning green eyes moved back to meet Sam's gentle hazel ones directly: "Half of me says this is all just a dream, and I'm gonna wake up with you yelling at me to get off you!"

"And the other half?" Sam couldn't help himself: he caught Dean's hand in his own and brought it up to his mouth to kiss his fingers. Dean's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "The other half?" the younger man prompted again.

"The other half…?" His brother sighed and carefully pulled his hand away, not meeting his eyes again. "I… It's… I think I've enjoyed this, I mean the heat… I feel…" Dean always struggled to say his true feelings out loud: all Sam could do was wait for him to find the words. "We're mated, Sam. That's… huge." He inhaled a deep breath. "I never expected to… certainly never with you! I never wanted to put this on you."

He shook his head as Sam began to try and reassure him, and, as instructed, the younger man fell silent again, Although he did move to hold Dean's hand again, pulling it to his own chest and holding it over his heart so that the steady beat pulsed through his brother's fingers.

"I can touch you now, can't I?" The wonder in his voice, and yet the abrupt way that Dean had spoken merged incongruously. "Not as we always have, but as mates. And now I can… I… it's…

I don't know how, Sam. I don't know what to do. This feels weird, you and me: I admit it. We've been just brothers for so long that…

But it's not because I don't want to… I'm not saying that… It's… I've never been with an Alpha, Sammy." And the younger man was suddenly understanding. "Not like this, only in heat! And not as the bott…as what I am. I… What if I do it wrong? What if you hate me, because you've built all these scenarios in your head and real life doesn't…? What if you lea…?"

He shut up abruptly. But there it was: his old fear.

The Alpha part of Sam had him upon his brother before even he had realised what he was doing: physically leaping on top of Dean and snatching for his wrists to pin him down where he lay; knocking his legs apart roughly as if to get his own long legs between them but then spreading them out instead with enough pressure to lie over Dean's and force them to the mattress; eyes fiery-red with fury. "I am never leaving you! Get that in your head, will you! You are mine! You always have been: you always will be! Nobody else's! Mine!"

Dean stared up at the glowing eyes incredulously: he had seen Sam Alpha-out in fights before, although as soon as he saw the warning signs he would always try to remove himself from the scene somehow before he went and did something stupid in response that might give himself away, but it had never been directed at him before. Not even when Ruby had taken Sam to the worst he could be: his brother had still managed somehow to control that side of himself against Dean.

But here it was, focused on him. Snarling at him. Holding him down. Demanding him.

He could feel Sam's large hands easily covering his; was aware of the weight and warmth over the rest of his body; could feel Sam's huge cock pressing into his abdomen as if it would spear straight through him if he even thought about leaving their bed…

And he was fully aware of his own, rising to meet his brother's, harder than he had ever known himself to be, and of… something… flowing out from inside his own body. And a sweet aroma that he recognised as himself, his natural scent that the suppressants had hidden for so many years that even he had forgotten what it was like. And of his own heart, pounding in his chest with excitement and… lust.

He couldn't help from wriggling a little beneath his brother to test how firmly he was being held down, and felt yet more slick release with the erotic realisation that all the control was in the definitely stronger hands of his younger brother… his Alpha. And he watched Sam's eyes return to normal, flicking rapidly through different emotions as they became hazel once more: possession; lust; want, before showing anxiety as his brother returned to his senses and realised that he was holding Dean down physically. And God help him: Dean loved it.

"Dean! I…!" But Sam's hastily gasped words of apology were swallowed by the older man somehow managing to reach up enough to kiss him: a tentative, exploratory, surprisingly innocent kiss that the younger brother still felt was the best one he had ever had.

And Sam saw no reason to waste it: moving both of Dean's trapped hands into the grip of just one of his to enable him to support his torso on the other while he moved to begin to kiss and nuzzle…everywhere that he could reach with his mouth without actually moving off his brother…

"I mean that, Dean. I will never leave you again: you're stuck with me," as he lapped behind Dean's ear making him gasp… "But I guess I am four days ahead of you in this relationship: you need time to catch up," as he sucked at and renewed the marks he had made previously. "Your pace, Dean. There's no hurry. Whatever you feel comfortable with…"

His teeth were now grazing the claim mark and his brother was tilting his head away, trying to allow him even more access, pulling against his strong arms not to escape, but to try and get closer…"I love you, big brother. Love everything about you. Love your smile; love those amazing eyes; love your body… fuck, do I love your body! Love your taste."

"My taste?" Dean was gasping for breath, almost as out of control by what Sam was doing to him now as he knew he had been when in heat. "I?...What?... Uh!" As Sam worked his way around to his other ear and somehow knew to hit that spot right behind it where Dean was sooo sensitive…

Sam tried to contain his dirty laugh, but failed: "I know you may not remember, Dean, but my tongue has been everywhere on your body these last few days…" His mouth closed on his brother's again, who met it with his own this time, opening his lips willingly to allow Sam access "…And in it."

In the very next instant, his smile had got so wide that he could almost feel his dimples boring through his own cheeks as Dean pulled enough away to stare at him wide-eyed momentarily, then blushed. His older brother actually blushed: a vivid, scarlet red that flushed all the way to his ears and down his back.

Sam though the sight was perfect and a very good look for his beautiful mate to have. He deliberately bit back any remarks about never having seen Dean embarrassed before… or very rarely, and instead chose to continue with his intention of exploring every last molecule of his brother's mouth.

And Dean let him in, tasting and sucking his probing muscle in now with an incredible skill that made Sam even harder than he had been for the last few days. Despite all their intense and incredibly physical activities during the heat, he and his cock were fully ready to go again. And probably always would be when it came to his brother.

But then Dean was trying to push him away with his body suddenly. Surprised, Sam released his brother's wrists, if a little reluctantly. "Is that all it's been? Four days? I thought, with the suppressants failing, my heat would be a week if not longer?"

Sam raised himself up to take his weight on his elbows and watched as emotions and thoughts raced each other across his brother's face… and as realisation, and complete panic, suddenly hit: "Sammy? We did use condoms, didn't we?"

Sam considered lying about not having any. Or putting on his puppy-dog face and pleading forgetfulness. But it most definitely hadn't been either. "No. No, I didn't."

He hurried to explain as every last bit of colour drained from Dean's face: "You were so desperate at first with the heat that I didn't have time to think anyway… but when I did…

I want children, Dean. I've always wanted you, and I've always wanted to be mated, and I've always wanted children. And… I can have it, Dean! We can have it!"

"But… but… Lucifer's son? And our job?"

"We'll find him, Dean. We'll find him and take him out, because he's not destroying this world. Not with you and our possible family in it.

And you are going to stop drinking and take more care of yourself. I mean it, you are." As Dean looked like he was going to argue. "And I am going to look for somewhere we can settle down, because it's time we did. Time we made roots of our own…

Or, I've been thinking… perhaps we can go back to Sioux Falls? Start again at Bobby's? He left everything to you anyway. I know the house burnt down, but… we can rebuild it, Dean. Build us a home. You can work on the cars still there, re-start that business if you want to, but I'll find a job to support us anyway. I'm going to do everything to look after you from now on, especially if…

And we're going to at least semi-retire from Hunting. We're both getting older anyway. And even if you're not pregnant right now, then we're going to keep on trying for a family. Because that's the legacy I want to leave behind: the best kind there is!"

"But?" His brother was still worried. "Pups in this world? You know how dangerous it is…"

"They'll have us to teach them. We won't hide what's out there, but they'll be prepared. They can have lives, Dean. Normal ones!"

'And you will from now on as well.' Sam silently added to himself. 'When it comes to it, I am facing Lucifer's son alone because he only exists because of my bloody stupid mistake all those years ago. You are staying safe now: you and our children. I'm never risking losing you again. Not ever, no argument. Your days of Hunting are done, big brother.'

But he decided that that discussion could wait for another time.

"Okay?" Instead he was leaning down to kiss him again. "Right now: you're going to know how much I love you, Dean. Whatever you want, no matter what: just tell me. Then, once you've stopped screaming my name…" he smirked as he made Dean blush yet again. "I'm going to make you some breakfast…how about pancakes?... and coffee while you have a shower, because the most important thing for you right now is recovery, good food and rest. Lots of rest. And then… I'm going to go out and get a pregnancy test and we'll see what happens from there…

And… well, we've got this cabin for the rest of the week: it's all paid for. And I'm sure we can find something to keep ourselves occupied during that time! I've got plenty of ideas, anyway."

Dean caught his look and his complexion stubbornly remained red, but he was also already pulling Sam down to his mouth again and encouraging him to let him move his own legs, tentatively parting them and pulling them up to his chest slightly, still a little unsure.

Sam paused the kiss just enough to grab for his brother's legs and encourage the other to wrap them around his own waist before laying back down on him: warm, firm naked skin to warm, firm naked skin; cock pressed against cock.

And the way Dean's hands were now beginning to explore his younger brother's body as well, caressing and teasing, told Sam that he was fully on board with being newly mated.

They had the rest of their lives together to sort out everything else.