Once Upon a Fairy Tale...
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Cinderella. She mostly had a happy life, except that her mother had just died, and her father was about to marry a evil woman who didn't like Cinderella very much. And then there were Cinderella's soon- to-be stepsisters. They also hated Cinderella, and it was their life's mission to cause her pain and trouble.
But other than that, Cinderella had a pretty happy life.
After her father's wedding, her mean stepmother and her two mean stepsisters moved into their house, and Cinderella was forced to move into the basement. She was very sad, so she went to see her father.
"Daddy? Why do I have to sleep in the basement?"
"My dear Cinderella," he told her, "we are just going through a transitional period. Just be a good girl to your stepmother and evil stepsisters and soon you might be able to move back into your old room."
"But they're only using my room for their clothes and shoes!" Cinderella complained.
Cinderella's evil stepmother came in behind them and said, "Oh, grow up."
Cinderella burst into tears and ran to her room in the basement. "I never want to grow up!" she sobbed.
Just then, a little boy walked down to stairs to her room (basement). "Well this is annoying. Instead of just flying through your window, I had to go through the front door and walk all the way down here! What a pain. But at least I didn't run into your two evil stepsisters! Those chicks are UGLY! Anyway, I understand you don't want to grow up."
Shocked, Cinderella just nodded.
The little boy reached into his pocket and pulled out a pixie. Sprinkling some pixie dust over Cinderella, he said, "Alright let's go, I don't have all day," and they flew out of Cinderella's house all the way to Neverland.
After arriving at Neverland, the boy, whose name was Peter Pan, brought Cinderella to his secret hideout, and introduced her to all his friends.
"Hey, we're the lost boys. But we're not lost or anything, they just call us that."
"What's your name?"
"Boy, she's hot!"
After introducing herself to all of Peter Pan's friends, Peter took her all around Neverland, introducing her to Mermaids and Indians.
But then, all of a sudden, pirates jumped out all around them, capturing them. They were brought back to their pirate ship and the captain, who had a hook for a hand, came out to see them. This was Captain Hook, but Cinderella, who had never read the book or seen the Disney movie, had no idea.
Captain Hook took out a sword and said, "Ok, Peter Pan, you can either fly away and escape, or you can fight me, and probably die since you are only a little boy, and I am a fully-grown man."
Peter Pan thought for a moment, and then flew off into the trees, shouting, "See ya, Cinderella, hope it all works out for you!!"
The pirates grabbed Cinderella and made her walk the plank. The pushed her off, but just before she hit the water, she remembered that she could fly, and soared off into the air. She thought about going to find Peter, but after remembering that he had abandoned her, she decided just to go home.
Soaring over the trees, she was just beginning to recognize things, when she ran out of pixie dust and happy thoughts and plunged into the trees. Luckily, though, there was a family of dwarves nearby who found her, and brought her to their houses in the forest.
When she awoke, the dwarves introduced themselves, and told her she could live with them if she agreed to clean their house every day, and sleep in the basement.
"No way!" she shouted. "If I wanted to do that, I would just go home!" And so she left the house of the seven vertically challenged men, and wandered alone through the forest, when she came across a little pond. She was so frustrated at being so completely and utterly lost that she sat at the edge of the pond and began to cry. After a while, a frog jumped out of the pond. Cinderella, who was not bothered by the presence of slimy swamp creatures, did not take any notice of him.
"Hello? It's really impolite to ignore people you know!" said the frog.
Surprised, Cinderella turned around, but when she didn't see anyone there, she just went back to crying.
"Oh fine, a PRINCE just isn't good enough for you, eh?"
Turning around again, Cinderella shouted, "Alright who's there?"
"No need to shout, I'm not deaf."
Seeing the frog talking, Cinderella jumped up and screamed.
"Alright, alright, no need to be so rude. You're not such a looker yourself, with your puffy red eyes and makeup streaming down your face."
Quickly regaining her composure (and wiping her eyes on her dress), Cinderella said, "I'm so sorry, um, sir, but it's just I've never, um, seen a, well, talking...frog before."
"A WHAT?" said the frog, laughing. "Frogs don't talk."
Confused, Cinderella asked delicately, "Well, what are you, then, if you're not a frog?"
The frog, looking a bit shocked, answered, "I'm a prince, of course."
"The prince of what, exactly?"
"What do you mean, of what? I'm the prince of this country. I'm just a bit lost at the moment, but I'm sure I can find it back to the castle by myself without your help."
"Well, that's good, because I wasn't going to offer my help."
The frog prince, looking a bit worried, said, "Well, um, so where are you headed."
"I'm going home, but I'm a bit lost at the moment, so I thought I'd rest here a while and rest my aching muscles."
"You mean cry."
"Well, yes, I was going to cry as well but why can't I do both at once?" Cinderella asked irritably.
"Well it's obvious you're hopefully lost, but it's alright, because so am I, so we could find our way together."
And so Cinderella, with the frog prince in her pocket continued through the forest, which was unfortunate, because at that very moment a beautiful princess was walking through the forest looking for a frog to kiss, and she would have found the frog and turned him back into a prince, had he not been in Cinderella's pocket.
A few hours later, both Cinderella and the frog prince were very hungry and thirsty, and also very tired. So when they saw a house in the woods, they ran to it immediately.
They knocked and knocked on the door, but it was very obvious that no one was home. Cinderella's stomach was making some very frightening noises, so she decided that she must take drastic measures.
She picked the lock, and both Cinderella and the frog prince entered the empty cottage. On the table were three steaming bowls of porridge, and Cinderella and the frog price ate them all greedily. Then they drank all the juice in the refrigerator. After this, they were even more tired, so they decided to find a place to sleep.
Seeing three chairs, Cinderella went straight to the big comfy- looking one, and the frog sat on the small baby chair. After a while, though, they decided to go find some beds to sleep in. They went upstairs and both fell asleep in one of the three beds they found in the bedroom.
After they were both well rested, Cinderella and the frog prince left the house, passing a little blond girl on their way out. At first they were afraid that she lived there, but she assured them that she only came in to steal things because the door was open, and that she didn't live there at all. So they left her to it, and continued walking through the forest.
Almost an entire day later, the two travelers arrived in the village where Cinderella's family lived, and where the frog prince's castle was. There was a parade scheduled for later in the day, in celebration of the king's new clothes, which it was rumoured only the most intelligent people could see.
They arrived at Cinderella's house just before the parade began, and Cinderella said goodbye to her friend.
"Goodbye friend. Thank you for helping me find my way home. I really appreciate it. And here's a kiss for all your trouble," she said, bending over to kiss the frog prince.
But just then, the king's carriage rolled past, and squashed the frog prince flat.
"Oh well," said Cinderella as she walked back into her house, "I never really liked him anyway."
The End