Title: What's Wrong With Safe?
Author: Christie (aka ficbitch82)
Pairing: Derek Morgan/Penelope Garcia (and very, very mild Kevin Lynch/Penelope Garcia)
Summary: 'On paper, they are a match made in Geeker Heaven. IRL, not so much.' - Penelope can't work out why she and Kevin don't fit. Can Derek help?
Spoilers: Up to and including S3's Penelope & Lucky
Disclaimer: The characters contained within belong to CBS, Ed Bernero, etc. I do not make any profit from this; it's just for fun. Plus? I'm poor. Please don't sue! :p
Author's Notes: This is my first forray into the wonderful world of Criminal Minds fic and, of course, the lovely pairing of Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan.
Author's Notes 2: I don't usually write in the present-tense but for whatever reason? This worked for me for this fic. I'm just forewarning y'all, since I know this isn't everyone's cup of tea! XD
Author's Notes 3: I'm going to shut up now. Enjoy! ;)
She doesn't know it yet, but it'll take her months to be able to walk past the blood-stain outside her building and not flinch. Months of remembering what it was like to be shot, of hitting the cement and holding her breath so that Baylor - Battle, whatever - would think she was dead and not stick around to finish off the job.
Seven weeks after Battle, Penelope ignores the warning, bites the bullet and heads out on a date with Kevin.
He's sweet and kind, funny and sensitive and above all? He speaks Geek like nobody else she knows but there's something missing; something Penelope can't put her finger on. On paper, they are a match made in Geeker Heaven. IRL, not so much. He hasn't even kissed her yet, for one thing, and she cannot work out what the hell it is about him that's wrong.
She tries to puzzle it out after their umpteenth date; all the way to the BAU in Esther, all the way up the elevator car and when she hits the Bull Pen she puts on her game face because Derek will be there and, likely as not, he'll pick up on her less than stellar mood.
She greets him before he has chance to greet her, grins and purrs, "Morning, Sugar," but she's underestimated her favourite profiler 'cause his eyebrow goes up and he is one-hundred-and-ten percent not buying this.
"Morning, Hot Stuff," he replies, a careful edge to his voice that hedges the way to his next question, "You alright?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" She manages by sheer force of will to keep the smile plastered on her face. "We got a case?"
Derek shakes his head, watching her, the close scrutiny making her feel way more uncomfortable than it should. He damn well knows there's something wrong and Penelope doesn't know if she loves that or hates that about him.
"Well, I hate to be the one to break up this party but-" she holds up her purple, crystal-lined briefcase, "-I have work to do."
It's a lie and, God bless his soul, he even lets her think he's bought it as he waits a whole three minutes to follow her into her office.
She's going through her morning routine, backing some stuff up before she starts in on the backlog she's nowhere near clearing when he knocks on the door.
He's holding out her cup and Penelope realises her mistake. Java, of course. Because even in the worst of situations, she always stops for coffee with him. It's like their routine.
She's about 80 per-cent healed from her gunshot wound, but there are certain ways she moves that pull at her stomach and when she reaches for her coffee, she sucks in a sharp breath 'cause-Well, ow. She opens her mouth to assure Derek she's fine but he's having none of it.
"Sit." He points to her chair.
She manages to smile at that and lifts up an arm to mock salute him even as she's doing what she's told, "Sir, yes, Sir."
He hands her the cup and drops a warm hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly before perching on the end of her desk. "You gonna tell me what's wrong?"
Penelope sighs. Usually, this would be something she'd talk to JJ or Emily about but since her friends are nowhere to be seen this morning... "It's Kevin." She sees the way Derek's eyes narrow and that's just one more thing she loves about him. He doesn't overreact or anything, just waits patiently until she gets out what's wrong - then, if need be, he'll go kill the guy. "Breathe," she assures him, just in case, "It's nothing like that, it's just..."
She tries to think of a way to word this that will remain fair to Kevin. He's all those things she mentioned earlier. He's sweet and kind, he buys her ice cream after their dates... He's seen Star Wars 137 times which, by the way, she thinks is some kind of record but...
"He won't kiss me," she blurts out. And maybe that's the whole problem. Penelope likes him, really she does, but how can she see if other areas of their relationship will be compatible when he won't even kiss her for God's sake?
"He won't kiss you?" He sounds honest-to-God surprised at that and if there were any residual issues of him acting like a jackass over the insanely hot guy that happened to be a psycho showing an interest in her a few weeks ago? They're obliterated by that statement alone. "What's wrong with him?"
"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Penelope murmurs, no small amount of impatience in her voice. "I mean, I am a Goddess, after all."
The corners of his mouth quirk upwards in that absolutely droolworthy smile, "Agreed."
"So what the hell is wrong with him?" She asks, because despite all her joking? She really, really wants to know.
"Maybe he's gay..."
Penelope glares at him for that one. She is officially too many shades of awesome to be somebody's beard. "Sooooo not funny."
He holds up his hands in surrender. "Penelope, any man that's dating you that doesn't want to kiss you... There's gotta be something wrong with him."
She smiles, suddenly warmed. "Oh, you're sweet. That doesn't help me at all, but you're sweet."
"You tried kissing him?" He asks, raising one eyebrow.
She worries her lip between her teeth and shakes her head, wondering whether or not she should admit this. The look on his face dispels that quickly. "He's different from Baylor... Battle. Ten thousand percent different. But I don't-I don't trust it."
"It?" His left eyebrow joins his right. "What 'it'?"
"This feeling. The butterflies, the flip-flopping I get in the pit of my stomach whenever we're about to go on a date. I like him, Derek, really I do but every time we get to the end of the night..." She sighs. She tries to convince herself she's over this on a daily basis but there are issues there that haven't yet gone away. "He wouldn't kiss me either," she admits quietly, "And when I thought he was about to..."
Her face twists and she looks down. Saying it just makes it all the more real and saying it to Derek...
He removes himself from the edge of her desk and kneels in front of her, placing one hand on her knee. "Not every guy is like Battle, Penelope."
She thinks about that for all of three seconds before she pulls her game face back on and pats his hand. "I know that. God, I know that." She's got the finest specimen ever sitting right in front of her - a God's honest hero who loves her and makes her feel like she's the only woman in the world a not-small portion of the time.
And Kevin... He really is everything Battle is not. For one thing, he's no Angel of Death. For another, he speaks total geek - he's not suave or sophisticated... And that, really, is no slight on Kevin.
Because she likes Kevin. Really. Hell, she wouldn't date the guy if she didn't but-There's a but. And she cannot work out what that is.
She's close to telling him this when Emily pops her head around the door. "Hey guys, Hotch wants us in the Conference Room in ten."
Penelope lets him help her out the chair and before she gathers her things to go meet their nearest and dearest, she kisses his cheek. "Thank you," she tells him with a faint smile. He might not have been her confidante-de-choice but God, if he hadn't made her feel better.
"You are entirely welcome," he tells her, waiting 'til she gathers her stuff to thread his arm through hers and lead her to where their team awaits.
They catch their Unsub after four days. He's escalated over three weeks, killing families with children and because of the press, his ego has inflated to fifty times the size it should be.
It's Derek who takes him down, Derek who wants to put the bullet between his eyes and has to settle for sending the guy to prison.
The case is always worse when it's with children and when he appears at the door to her bunker, feeling worn and tired, Penelope puts her arms around him. "You're coming home with me tonight, Sugar. No arguments."
She lets him shower first, even though she tells him she's the Capital of Scuzz right now (she's not). He figures he needed it because when he comes out she mentions that he looks twenty times better than when he went in and that's not something she'll admit to lightly, especially when talking about Derek Morgan.
He sidles up to her in her kitchen, sniffing appreciatively. "You've been busy."
"My cooking prowess knows no bounds," she grins, tossing the salad. "Lasagne's in the oven, I have a bottle of wine chilling..."
"You need me to do anything?"
"I need you to sit," she informs him, pointing at her sofa.
He does so, flicking on her TV set. It's like his second home now, her place - has been ever since Battle walked into her life and changed it forever. Not that he's complaining or anything because it beats going home to a quiet house, especially when Clooney's not there.
He finds an episode of Friends, leaves it to run because he knows it's her favourite and finds himself chuckling along with her.
He blinks and one minute he's watching Chandler locked in a box and the next minute she's showered and changed iinto PJ's with tiny penguins on them, curled up on the sofa beside him reading a book. He sneaks a look at the title before she realises he's awake and snorts softly. "Harry Potter?"
She gasps, only a little startled, and grins. "Don't you dare mock," she tells him, "Or I'll have to let slip the little audio I have of you snoring. Adorable, by the way..."
He chuckles, "You didn't."
Penelope pats his thigh, "You, Profiler-Mine, will never, ever know. You ready for dinner?"
He has the good grace to look a little guilty at that. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."
She waves that off with a 'pfft' and a shake of her head. "No sweat, Hot Stuff, you looked like you needed it." She pulls herself off the sofa and goes to heat the lasagne in the oven again, pouring them each a glass of wine.
Derek smiles at her. He made the absolute right choice when he came here tonight and he tells her as much.
"You are entirely welcome," she returns, using his earlier words as she places the lasagne on the table in front of them. "Now eat."
"Woman, you killed me," Derek tells her as they flop onto her sofa.
"Only in a good way," she assures him, "full movement will return tomorrow, I promise."
They're both stuffed. Dinner was a roaring success even after the whole reheating schtick and Penelope knows that the way to a guy's heart is absolutely through his stomach. "You up for some ice cream? I have your favourite," she grins.
Derek groans and declines with a shake of his head. He's not sure how she knows what his favourite is, really... Then he remembers that this is Penelope. And that she pretty much knows everything about him. He watches her closely as she flips channels, looking for something appropriate to watch. She bypasses a Denzel film and for that, he is utterly glad. He needs silly tonight. He needs something funny, something that'll help him forget.
When Dumb and Dumber appears on her screen, Derek laughs. "You can read me like a book," he tells her.
"Officially one of my better qualities," she agrees, shuffling closer to him as he lifts his arm to rest snugly around her shoulders.
She sinks into the crook of his arm and he smiles, dropping a kiss on the top of her curls.
He wakes up just as the credits are rolling.
They're both sprawled across her sofa, Penelope's head resting against his chest, her breathing even. He realises how cold it is in her apartment when he moves his hand and her skin is cold beneath his fingers. He rubs her arm softly, trying to wake her up. "Baby Girl?"
She makes a happy, contented sound and he guesses she doesn't mind so much about the cold. He does. The last thing he wants is for her to get sick and they should both be getting some proper rest anyway. "Penelope," he says again.
She lifts her head, blinking sleep out of her eyes. Her glasses are lopsided, pushing back her hair and Goddamn if she doesn't look ten shades more adorable than she does every other day of her life. He chuckles softly. "We fell asleep."
"Getting that," she murmurs, smiling at him.
His body may never forgive him for his other arm falling asleep but it's a small price to pay for having Penelope this close and this adorable.
She stifles a yawn and Derek wraps his arm a little tighter around her for a moment before reluctantly letting go. "I should go," he tells her.
"Go?" She sounds surprised at that, glances at the fluorescent clock on her wall and squints until she can make out where the hands are at. "Derek, it's past midnight. You can crash here... Although I'm way too tired to let you take advantage of me."
He smiles and touches her cheek. "You're too good to me. You know that, right?"
Penelope returns his smile and leans into the touch, closing her eyes. "No such thing."
If she notices the way his breathing changes, she says nothing. Derek's eyebrows draw together, one part confusion, one part-He doesn't even know what.
They've been best friends for years and he loves her, heart and soul, but he's never felt like this before. He draws in a shaky breath and when her eyes open, she looks puzzled. "Derek?"
They flirt on an hourly basis. He's told her he loves her more times than he can count and seven weeks ago he almost lost her to a fucking gunshot wound - talk about things being thrown into perspective.
Just like that, Derek knows what this is - thinks maybe he knew for a long time, he was just too much of a damn coward to say it. He blinks and says the only thing that he can think of right now. Unfortunately, the only thing he can think of is something that makes him sound like he's shoved his too-large foot in his even-larger mouth.
Penelope blinks, "What?"
He could kick himself. Of all the things to lead in with, he starts with that one? Smooth, real smooth. Still, he's said it now and he can't take it back, so he continues, albeit reluctantly. "I just don't get why you're with him, is all."
She pulls back from him, moving into a sitting position on her couch. Her shoulders settle into a tense line. She doesn't look sleep ruffled now, she looks angry; worse than that, she looks hurt. "You have no right to ask me that."
Derek frowns, "Penelope-"
"I like Kevin," she insists, "He's smart and he's kind and he's-"
"Safe?"
Twin spots of red appear on her cheeks and Derek realises that he's officially crossed the line. She's folded in on herself, closed off to him, and his mind goes back to something Joey said earlier. You're so far past the line, you can't even see the line... The line is a dot to you!
"What's wrong with safe?" She demands.
Derek does not have any kind of answer that will make him sound like less of a dick than he already seems so he shakes his head, trying to formulate a response that will somehow put the warmth back in her eyes.
Trouble is for all his suave and his charm and his usual flair for dealing with members of the opposite sex? This is different. This is-This is his Penelope, his Baby Girl, and if she thinks safe is okay then it means Kevin's won and that-Oh, that just makes him sound like King Dick because Penelope isn't something to be won, damnit and-Crap.
He didn't even realise he was in the running.
"Penelope-" he tries.
"No, seriously, I want to know. Two weeks ago you were all over the fact that the guy was officially out of my league now, what, he's too far under it for you? Why do you care anyway?"
And that's just it, he realises. He does care. He cares about the guy she's seeing because the last two have not been him and if life has taught him anything it's that things do not work out the way you plan.
He's just about dealt with this startling revelation when Penelope delivers the next blow. "I think it's time you left," she tells him, a chill in her voice.
Derek tries - God he tries - he apologises but he knows when things are futile and he knows enough to know that Penelope wants him out of there. Right the hell now.
He gathers his things quickly and quietly and when she shuts him out of the apartment, deadbolting the door behind him, Derek slumps his way to the floor his head in his hands. Shit.