HELLO! Im very ashamed of myself as I writted this oneshot weeks ago thining I would post in on the first of June..Now that JUne has ended and the Gay MOnth with it..Im posting it now not wanting to wait till next year.
To celebrate and to commemorate the Gay months..It is a little chappie just to know about how Gay people would feel :')
Its okay to be gay...Knock off the Bullying ^ ^
He never thought he would be so different, so abnormal compared to all the other poeple around him, all the boys around him. At first he just thought it was a little queer, that it would eventually pass and that all would be forgetten sooner or later but then slowly embraced the fact that he had to live being a freak. He also never thought he would suffer each single moment at school but the most painful feeling that he beared was when he announced his parents.
" Darling, its okay" his mom said brushing her fingers to lift his brown bangs off his eyes as her own was filled with an irrepressible sadness.
" There's...there's nothing to be ashamed too" his father added not even looking at his son as his voice was full of disappointment. The teenager knew he would regret having not to share things like normal kids and their dads do: Where would he go if he wanted to ask about a crush? It would never be like in the movies where the father would talk about his high school love experience. Never.
Each and every single encouragement speech his parents gave him were sickening. He only brought sadness and displeasure to the people who cared the most about him. Although his mother and father kept telling Endou that they were proud of him no matter what...There was still this unpleasant atmospehere that lingered everytime Mamoru's sexuality was the topic of conversation.
He remembered standing infront of the mirror of his room for long hours interacting with his reflection.
" I like BOYS" he repeated and grimaced and the weirdness of those words wishing he would one day get use to it.
He did not dared tell his friends about his "problem" scared of the disgust or rejection it might possibly prevail. He would feel a twinge in the back everytime theywould make allusion about anything.
His heart nearly skipped a beat when he heard this particular word coming from the mouth of one of his pal.
" Ugh. This is so gay" someone commented about a book.
Gay... Endou would feel a growing emotion of anger and shame growing in the pith of his stomach while he dreamt of shouting, of revealing his true self. For them, "That's so gay" was synonym of disgusting, bad and ugly. Would Endou be that disgusting, bad and ugly to them too just because he was more attracted to male actors than Megan Fox or Jennifer Aniston?
One afternoon after training he caught up about a certain person whose opinion was very dear to him.
" Listen Gouenji?" Endou runned to his team-mate a towel on his neck. The striker froze and waited for his captain to caught up with him as they started to walk on a slower pace.
" Yeah?"
" I have something..silly..to ask you" Mamoru blurted out and was immediatly scared when Gouenji blink as an aknowledge that he could go on.
" How was practise today?" Endou laughed nervously as his bad attempt to cover himself up as suddenly all the courage he gathered up to ask his question vanished.
" This isn't what you inetended to say in the first place, right?"
"Yes" he admitted curtly.
" Then what is it?"
" Gouenji, what do you think about people who ...like men?" he queried looking at his moving feet.
" Huh?"
" I mean..what do you think about men who like other men"
" You mean Gays? Well, I have nothing against them. That's their choice" he replied without much thinking making a broad smile illuminating Endou's face. " Why this question?"
" Eh...you know just like that. See you later" Endou waved before running away so that he could grin like an idiot in a corner without anyone looking.
There was atleast 500 people studying at Raimon college and in a somehow gruesome way, the idea of Endou Mamoru, the school hero, being gay was leaked so now nearly a semi-thousand hundred kids knew that Mamoru was abnormal.
Endou did not even dare to go in the corridors where he knew he would suffer from those douzens of stares and whispers reserved for circus's freaks. He was still visualizing the expression on his team-mates' faces. No one could say a single words and even though he knew their reaction would not be enjoyable, he never thought it would be so painful.
He reached his locker where a white paper on the usually grey, metallic material caught up his attention. Taking off the paper which was roughly stuck with a piece of adhesive band, he exmined it carefully inbetween his two shaking hands.
You should not live!
Faggot, go rot in hell.
Hey clay-digger nobody wants you in here.
Those insults were written into different handwrittings and ink. MAmory wanted to scream but the only reaction he had was to tear the paper into a hundred of small pieces which flew in the air.
He was sitting on the grass freshly covered by the dew while tucking his chin inbetween his legs deeply enrolled in his thoughts. He had spent the pass few minutes trying to fight back the tears which menaced to flow in any instant.
Mamoru felt a feminine hand on his shoulder and his immediate insticnts were to rub his eyes with the back of his hand.
" Hi Aki" he greeted the young which sat beside him.
For long minutes, the only sound that could be perceive were their regular breathing until he finally spoke up.
" Do I disgust you, Aki?" he dared to ask really hoping he would deny this statement although he wanted to know the truth.
" Of course not" the brunette answered quickly while pressing her palm on his.
For the past weeks, Endou was asking himself if he could like girl one day. He could definitely learn to adapt himself, learn to love the feeling of having a girl's hand in his mind and for a silly reason, if he had to fall in love with a girl, it would definitely be Aki.
" Don't creep out but could I try something?" he interrogated and did not even wait for her answer before leaning over and brushing his lips against hers. Bad it wasn't, but for him he did not have the shivers running down his spine or this tingy feeling in his stomach;the same sensation he got evreytime he saw that person. The way he smiled could make his stomach go upside down but unfortunately anything this girl would do wouldn't move Endou's heart by an inch.
" So?" she asked.
" I'm sorry" was the goal-keeper's only reply.
He wasn't going to get normal today and sadly nor tomorrow.
Endou smiled politely at a student leaning on a wall infront of him and immediately regreted his act when he looked in the other direction as if he was a nuisance that he wished he could get rid off. Now that the world knew about him, he was in a permanent state of isolation. One of the most horrid things is that no one even wanted to change in the same room as him for P.E. No one except a few handful of his team-mates would sit next to him at lunch as if he contracted a contageous disease. He wished those people would feel what he was living currently. It was a torture of being judged for something he could not change about him. It was like they were critisizing his skin or eye colours.
He always did his best to avoid his mother everytime he would go back home as hedid not wnat her to worry about the bruises he got when he would be "accidently" pushed on the walls.
He walked sloemnly to his classroom and he swore he heard this word.
" Fag" a higher grade student aligned between two coughs as soon as Endou was trying to get to his class but soon the bully could not utter another word, yet breathe as he was tackled to the wall.
A generally calm striker was holding the bully by his collar and holding him in place. Everything was blur and it took Mamoru a few seconds before realising what was happenning.
" What did you say?" Gouenji threatened with a low hiss.
" Hey, don't tell me you support the dick-su-" the victim of the striker's anger replied with a sacastic smile before being inteerrupted.
" Apologize" the blonde snarled his fist up ready to punch at any time.
Endou blinked a few times and felt as if he had been thrown a bucket of cold water on his head.
" Let him go Gouenji" he said.
The latter looked at his captain with disbelief and incredulity but did not release his victin who continued struggling to break through the iron fists whish were hurting him.
" I'm used to it. Its okay" Mamoru added not liking the scene of violence enrolling infront ot him.
" No it isn't okay Endou..Those people need to know how to treat you well" Kazuya added as he appeared out of nowhere near of him.
" He's right. Those homophobic pieces of junk need to get to know their place. Do what you have to do Gouenji" Kidou smirked back at Gouenji.
"Minna..." Endou smiled at the familiar faces which surrounded him. His freinds just taught him that he wasn't abnormal...he was just unique.
" Aww, so sweet Endou-kun got himself a little boyfriend" the bully said directing his disgusted glare towards the angry striker.
" If being straight means being like you, then I prefer be gay" Gouenji snapped back before releasing the boy which started massaging his painful neck. " Come on let's go out of here" he said grabbing Endou's hand as he started to break the crowd.
He waited that they reached a lonely corridor before releasing finally his hand.
" You should learn to defend yourself. We would not be able to help you everytime you need it" he said seriously.
" I know"
" Don't let them hurt you anymore"
" I'll try" Endou grinned.
The blonde who started leaving for his classroom looked back one last time when he heard his name being called out by the young goalkeeper.
" Gouenji! Thank you!" Endou waved.
Yes, one day he would tell him. One day he would tell Shuuya he loved him...
Well..well...well...xD Its slightly one-sided but thats how I wanted it to be ^ ^ Its up to you now to imagine what would happen next. Hope you like it ^ ^
Its okay to be gay
Bye guys please drop a little review for meeeeeeeee:D