Title – A Matter of Perception
Author name - Carol
E-mail -
Rating – PG (mild use of curse words)
Spoilers – just a few, if you know what your looking for
Disclaimers – Let me think…big things I own…..my couch, my car, my computer, my books. Nope, I don't remember JAG being one of those things. But I hear after 30 days in the Lost and Found it's up for grabs.
Summery – Seeing things you hate means someone else might love them.
Author's Notes –
Dale's Dive Bar
August 12, 2022
'Damn, her. Damn her all to hell.' Alex muttered in his head as he walked into the bar. He quickly moved to the bar and sat down on a free stool.
The bartender looked up at the young man. "What can a get ya'?"
"Beer," Alex replied as he turned his cell phone off.
The bartender looked at Alex. "ID?" Alex exhaled. He was 23, but still looked at 18. Once he showed his ID to the bartender, the bartender just smiled. "Got to ask anyone who looks under 70."
"I understand," Alex smiled. The bartender set the beer down in front of Alex. "Thanks."
Alex looked in the mirror behind bar and stared at his own reflection. He wore a haggard expression; it was courtesy of Kelly, his girlfriend. They had another fight, even hundreds of miles away they could still fight with other. "Damn her," he muttered.
"Women, they're not worth it," a man next to him said. He looked to be in late 50's. His hair was grey and he wore wrinkles around his eyes. He drank down the last of his double bourbon. "Another double, bartender."
The bartender looked at the older man and poured him another double. The man nodded 'thanks' as the bartender placed the bottle on the bar. "Can stand this damn stuff." He drank the pungent liquid down.
"Then why drink it?" Alex asked.
The man stared at Alex. "Makes me remember that I hate it." The man paused. "I hate drinking. I hate coming to this bar. Hell, I hate everything."
He was sitting there beside me throwing doubles down
When he ordered up his third one he looked around
Then he looked at me, said I do believe I'll have one more
He said I hate this bar and I hate to drink
But on second thought tonight I think I hate everything
Alex drank the rest of his beer as he and the old man fell into silence. They both ordered another around and before drinking they glanced at each other in a silent toast before they drank their beverages.
The old man stood up and reached into pocket. He pulled out a black billfold that was worn with age. Opening it he pulled out a twenty to pay for his drinks and caused a photo to fall to the ground. Alex leaned down and looked at the photo. It was worn and a little tore at the edges. But the woman in it was striking. Her eyes shined and her smile was breathtaking.
"You dropped this." Alex handed the photo to the man.
The man took the photo into his hands and looked at the woman in it. His knees weakened and he sat back down in his seat. "Thank you." He stared at the picture so intently, as if he wished she could have been there with him.
Curiosity was getting to Alex. "Wife?"
The old man ignored his question. "I should throw this out. I've had it in my wallet for years." He ran his shaking hand through his hair. "It's been with me for over twenty years. She's been my reason for twenty-odd years. It's like she haunts me." He looked up at his refection in the mirror and thought for the briefest of seconds that she was next to him. His eyes blinked, but she wasn't there. It was just like always her memory floating in his head. Her voice and laughter echoing from a distant time.
"She my reason for being the way I am. She the reason why I hate everything."
Then he opened up his bill-fold and threw a 20 down
And the faded photograph fell out and hit the ground
And I picked it up, he said thank you buddy, I put it in his hand
He said I probably ought to throw this one away
'Cause she's the reason I feel this way, I hate everything
"I use to have a great job. I was in the Navy, a commander. But I left it. I hate my job now. I defend people who have too much money. I swear my life is hell." The old man took a breath. He looked down at his hand and saw the dull gold band, which once held hope for him.
"She left me for another man." He rolled his eyes at Alex. "Typical story. But she didn't know she did it then. I left and went home. I thought I could start my life over again. I didn't do anything for a while. After about two years of being along and hurting like hell, I meet and married to my ex-wife." He paused. "If it wasn't for our two kids I would hate my ex, too.."
"Have you tried to start over since?" Alex asked wondering about the choices this man made in his life.
The old man laughed ruefully. "I can't. It's too late and I'm too old." He looked back down at his ring. "I hate everything."
I know I should move on and try to start again
But I just can't get over her leaving me for him
Then he shook his head and looked down at his ring and said I hate everything
The old man stopped talking for awhile. Alex stared into what was left of his beer. His stomach started to turn as the old mans words echoed through his head. Suddenly Alex didn't feel like drinking. He wanted to talk to Kelly, but he couldn't put up with her yet.
"I had this really nice place with her, well not with her. But we were going to move there after the wedding. I even had a great house with my ex. But now." The old man laughed in disgust. "But now I've got this tiny apartment. One tiny bedroom apartment, but a great view of the parking lot. A swimming pool, that hasn't been cleaned in years. It's a damn jail where I just pick up my mail and wait for the night to pass into day."
"There are days when I can't get her out of my head. Where I just remember things. I can't stand any colors. Everything she wore looked wonderful on her and I hate it all now. Red, yellow, purple, blue and especially green." The old man glanced at Alex and could tell the young man was listening. The first person in years who would listen to the rambling words from him.
"The worst things are the seasons. I think of the summer and when we went on picnics. The fall when we took walks in the woods. The winter when we went Christmas shopping hand and hand. But I really hate the spring." Distaste exited his mouth as he spoke. "She left me for him in the spring. I hate it all. I hate everything."
Is really not a home, it's more like a jail
With a swimming pool and a parking lot view, man that's just great
I hate summer, winter, fall and spring
Red and yellow, purple, blue and green, I hate everything
The bartender looked down at the old and looked at his empty glass. The old man shook his head and the bartender refilled his glass. The liquid in the glass swirled at the edge as the man swished it in his glass.
"Bottoms up, kid." The old man raised his glass to Alex and drank the liquid down. He returned the empty glass to the bar. "I hate this drink."
I know I should move on and try to start again
But I just can't get over her leaving me for him
Then he shook his head and looked down at his ring and said I hate everything
The old man stood back up and tapped the money he placed on the counter. The bartender looked at it, knowing what the man was telling him. Alex touched the man's hand. "I've got you're drinks, Sir."
The old man looked at Alex. "Why?"
"As a thank you," Alex stated.
"A thank you for what?"
"For everything." Alex gave the old man a smile. "Thank you for everything."
The old man shrugged and stuck his twenty into his pocket. Then he walked out of the door. The bartender looked at Alex as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Alex dialed a number and waited for the person on the other end to pick up. "Kelly……Hi…..Yeah, I know it's late…..Listen, I'm going to call you once your up and we're going to talk this out. Okay?.....yeah, I know, honey…..I love you, too…..bye."
I Said babe I'm coming home, we're gonna work this out
I paid for his drinks and I told him thanks, thanks for everything
Alex ended his call and set the cell phone on the bar. He looked into the mirror and grinned.
The bartender walked over to Alex. "Another beer?"
"Nah."
Curiosity finally got the best of the bartender. "Why'd you pick up the old man's tab?"
"I owe him a lot."
"Does he know you?"
"No."
"Then why?"
Alex smiled. "The woman in the picture is my mother….my adoptive mother." Alex corrected himself. "She and my dad married after finding out that she would have a very hard time getting pregnant. They adopted me when I was eight and ironically enough that same year Mom got pregnant with my sister Danielle." Alex reached into his wallet and pulled out money to pay for his tab and the old mans.
"One day I was looking through an old photo album and I saw the picture the old man had. I asked Mom about it and she told me the story of her and him. She did love him, but was in love with Dad at the time. She was to going to marry him, but didn't because Dad's plane crashed in the Atlantic. She told me sometimes you have to let love hurt you, before you can love completely."
"Sounds like a smart woman." The bartender smiled.
"She is. She said she's done two brilliant things in her life. One she married Harmon Rabb and has a wonderful life with him. And two she adopted me."
"I've seen the old photo a ton of times and always wondered who she was. Does she have a name?" The bartender asked.
"General Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb, USMC." Alex proudly stated. "Thanks for the beer and have a good night."
"You too, kid." The bartender grinned as Alex walked out of the bar with his head held high and a bounce in his step.
The bartender wiped down the bar and put the dirty glasses and mugs into the bin to be washed. He thought about the old man and Alex. "Hmmm….no wonder the old man hates green, she's a Marine."
THE END