The best letter
By Yuffie Valentine
A year after Sephoith, the gang has moved into the Costa De Sol Villa. Sort like a really messed up Real World , but with cameras. We join your heros on a normal afternoon. Oh and for reason Aeris is back. Don't ask how.
"Mail is here!" Vincent yelled through the house.
"Anything good in there!?" Cloud asked.
"Let's see, bill for Cloud, bill for Cloud, bill for cloud, Mr.T fan club newsletter for Barret, Tv Guide for cid, and oh two pink letters, ones for Tifa, the other for Aeris!" Vincent said.
Cloud grumbles something about cheap bastards and takes the bills into the bedroom. Barret grabs the newsletter and his secret decoder ring and goes to the bathroom and locks the door. Cid takes his TV guide and starts to page through it. Aeris and Tifa take their letters.
"Who are they from?" Tifa asked.
"No return address or stamps, these are hand delivered." Aeris said.
They open their letter and read. After they're done, they begin to blush.
"What is it?!" Yuffie asked.
"They are love notes from our secret admirers!" Tifa said.
"Are they from the same person?" Aeris asked, after comparing letters they see they aren't.
"Oh, who could have sent them?" Tifa asked.
"Where's mine damn it." Yuffie asked. She went to the mailbox and looked in. Nothing. She looked around in case it fell. Nothing. She look on Vincent in case he was hiding it. Nothing.
"What are you doing?" Vincent asked.
" Damn jerks wouldn't know a great woman if they looked at one! WHO CARES ABOUT THOSE DAMN LETTERS! " Yuffie runs off sobbing.
'"What was that?" Barret asked.
"I think something is upsetting Yuffie." Red XII said.
"You figure that one out by yourself Red or did Vincent have to help you." Cid said with a laugh. " It's just that time off the month for Yuffie I guess."
"No, it's those letters Tifa and Aeris got. I think Yuffie is sad she didn't get one. I mean it must be hard living with a girl with triple D's and one with an never ending cheerful personality. " Vincent said.
"Yeah, when your a flat chested lil bitch, you can get pretty depressed." Cid said.
"SO I AM FLAT CHESTED HUH?" Yuffie yelled from her room.
"AH shit!" Cid runs out of the house.
"What's up with him?" Cloud asked entering the room.
"Living in fear of an insulted woman." Red XII said.
"Yuffie was upset about not getting a love letter like the other girls. And Cid hurt her feelings more." Barret said.
"Cid just has that effect on woman." Vincent said.
"Ah poor Yuffie, she is a nice girl, just a little annoying sometimes." Barret said.
"YOU KNOW I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS!" Yuffie screamed.
"SHIT!" Barret runs off after Cid to hide.
Cloud goes to his room. He felt sorry for Yuffie, it must hurt to have no one like you. He didn't know that feeling, he has cool hair and a tight ass, everyone liked him. He knew what he would cheer her up. He would write one of those letter to her, and since he didn't have to put his name on it he didn't have to get caught. He got his pen out and went to work.
As our favorite vampire was thinking hard. He wanted to cheer up Yuffie, he coud write her a nice poem and secretly send it to her. It would show someone cares, but he wouldn't have to tell her it was him.
Cid thought it would be best to get Yuffie in a good mood. Writing a fake love letter would be the perfect way. But he needed help, Red is good with words, and he would help. He went off to get Red.
Barret sat on his bed thinking of a few nice words to write in a fake letter for Yuffie, she was a bitch , but bitchs need hope too.
The next day Cait Sith hops off to get the mail. He returns with a two handfuls.
"What do we got today?" Cloud said, he couldn't wait to see Yuffie's face.
" 3 bills for Cloud, 1 Playboy for Cid, Home and Gardening for Aeris, Tifa can get a credit card no money down, and Yuffie has 4 love notes." Cait sith said and gave everyone their mail.
"PLAYBOY CID!?" Aeris asked disgusted.
"4 LETTERS FOR YUFFIE?!" Tifa asked disgusted.
All then men in the room go white and freeze like a deer in headlights.
"Really? For me?" Yuffie asked.
She opened the first one, after she was done reading it she sighed.
"Thanks for the thought Cid and Red, but I know it's you two. Cid's handwriting is the only one that looks like a 5 year old, and Red is the only one who would comprar my beauty to the greatness of the plant." Yuffie said, the letter seemed to do more damge then good.
"I told you we should have typed it." Red said.
"And I told you to not talk about nature so damn much." Cid said. At the same time flipping through his Playboy.
Yuffie opened the next one and started to laugh. "Oh Barret, I love this line, ' I was a foo' not to notice how your eyes were as bright as a new bullet." Yuffie said.
"That is some good writin' write there." Barret said proudly.
Yuffie said with a low voice "Wonder who the last two are from?" She looks at Vincent and Cloud.
She reads Cloud's and smile, he could write sweet stuff, but the dumb blonde used the paper with his name on it. It's the thought that counts. Vincent's poem was even better. But only Vincent could say stuff like that.
"So, they were all fakes." Tifa said with a smile.
"Yep, but I like them better then any love letter, it shows I have really good friends." Yuffie said.
"But they were all fake, aren't you sad that no one really likes you?" Aeris said.
"Of course I am you dumb bitch, I am just trying to hide it, thanks for bringing it out in the open." Yuffie said and ran out the docks crying.
"You two are so mean." Cait Sith said.
"The truth hurts." Cid said,"Too bad it had to hurt a friend."
Meanwhile at Turk's hideout ......
"Hey Rude, you think we should write some more letters to Tifa and Aeris?" asked Tseng.
"Nah, give it a week, let them daydream a little longer." Ruda said, looking at his picture of Tifa.
"I guess so, I can't believe Reno didn't give that letter he wrote for Yuffie to her." Tseng said.
"I still don't see what he sees in her. He keeps talking about her youth and energy. And spunk, whatever that is." Rude said. "Have you seen my comb?"
"Why do you need a comb, you're bald." Tseng asked.
"Shut up, I can have one, can't I? I'll just borrow Reno's. Hey where is he, anyways?" Rude said.
Meanwhile back on the docks........
Yuffie looks down on the water. She is looking at her image reflected on the top of the water. She wasn't has sweet as Aeris, or well figured as tifa, but she was still the cutest of the three. Her outfit was just as revealing as Tifa's and her smile was just as bright as Aeris's. What was wrong with Yuffie that made her seek pity from her male friends.
"Mind if I sit down?" A voice from behind asks.
Yuffie looks up to see Reno. She jumps into a fighting stance, and draws her Conformer.
"What do you want TURK?" Yuffie asked. She said it very tough, but she really didn't wanna fight a TURK on her own.
"I only want this." Reno's hand came up in a blur. Yuffie screamed and blocked for a punch that would never come. She opened her eyes to see that he was holding up a single red rose.
"What's this?" Yuffie asked.
"It's a rose." Reno said with a laugh.
"But why? Why are you attacking me with a rose?" Yuffie asked.
"I am not attacking, I am giving it to you, cause I like you." Reno said, even his cool face broke in a small blush.
"What? You like me?" Yuffie asked.
"For some time now. From the first time I saw you in the forest fighting Cloud, till that final battle in Midgar. I couldn't tell you before cause you were my foe, but now that there is no reason to fight I can share this with you." Reno said.
"Are you drunk?" Yuffie said waving her hand in front of Reno's face.
"Not yet. It's only 7" He said looking at his watch. "but by 9 I will be."
Yuffie let out a giggle "Come on , I bet I can out drink you."
"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" Reno asked.
"I won't tell if you won't tell." Yuffie said. And with that she grabbed his arm and led him to the bar.
Meanwhile at the Villa window.......
Everyone is taking a good look at Reno and Yuffie.
"Way to go girl." Tifa said.
"I didn't know she had it in her." Aeris said.
"I didn't know Reno liked her." Barret said.
"Yeah, they make a lovely couple." Vincent said. "Plus he is a Turk, you have to like that.'
"You're just saying that cause you were one." Red XII said.
"Why are they going into the bar?" Cath Sith asked.
"He must be getting her drunk so he can get an easy score, that sly fox." Cid snickered.
"WHAT?! Oh hell no, Yuffie is like a sister, and no sister of mine is going to have sex before she is married." Cloud said.
"What a role model, sets rules he has already broken." Tifa said with a smile.
"Shut up and let's get to that bar before something happens." Cloud said grabbing his buster sword.
"Cloud, just let it happen." Tifa said.
Fin
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