The tension in the stadium is stifling. Match point. The ball is waiting to be served whilst the crowd sits on the edge of their seat. They're loud, they have been for the entirety of the close game, but Koushi barely hears them. He's too concentrated, too focussed on every movement of each player on each team and futilely mapping out strategies like he can actually put them into play. Koushi's used to being on the sidelines but he's never been bitter about it. In being the boyfriend of the countries number one setter – and being a former setter himself – he's found it to be rather helpful. He's helpful. He likes being helpful.
Most people would begrudge the 'supportive role'. It's certainly not for the egotistical or prideful. Not that Koushi lacks pride, he simply finds it in places others usually wouldn't. Koushi finds pride in nurturing the talented and skilful, in soothing a wounded heart and in caring for those who need it most, even if they're the most difficult to care for. He finds pride in his ability to help. To comfort.
The people in the crowd around him disappear into nothingness as he dissects the game; after two sets Koushi's more than accustomed to both team's plays, movements and strategies. He's learned to come to these games alone. With the possibility of his boyfriend's loss – winning is never certain at such an elite level – Koushi needs to be there for him afterwards and devote his full attention. The only person he ever invites these days is Hajime; he understands Tooru as well as Koushi does.
Koushi feels all his muscles tense as he sucks in a deep breath, eyes darting over the court from player to player, noting their body position and eye movement. The ball flies in the air and is served with the all too familiar power and precision of Koushi's former teammate. Tobio-chan learned that serve from me, he can hear Tooru's proud voice in his head as the ball is messily received.
"Cover!"
Bodies move in marvellous patterns on the court but Koushi's eyes are drawn to a singular form. Tall, muscular and far too attractive, even when covered in sweat with his face scrunched in immense concentration. Tooru's usually pleasant singsong voice deepens into a commanding growl as he directs his team into a flawlessly synchronised attack formation. His deft, perfect hands toss the ball into the air and the ball is spiked over the net faster than the average person can keep up with.
His fingers knit together bone-crushingly tight and Koushi swears under his breath – a bad habit he's picked up from too many close matches – as the libero dives and receives it. He leans forward in his chair and watches Kageyama ready himself under the ball. Defenders watch the spikers, muscles taut in preparation to jump, to block. Koushi notices something in Kageyama's stance that almost no one else on court would; the angle of his wrist it's wrong for a toss.
Koushi can see it happening before it does; a direct mirror of the first toss Oikawa sent to Karasuno.
Instead of tossing to his ace, who calls so deafeningly loud, Kageyama dump shots the ball over the net. No one is there. No one anticipated it. Except Tooru. But he's a fraction late, too disoriented by the mentally exhausting game. Koushi could see him thinking too much. Tooru dives for the ball but it falls short of him, smacking against the floorboards with a mocking thud.
Koushi's heart constricts in his chest.
The stadium is silent for a heartbeat before realisation settles in and the referee calls the point. Cheering rings hollow in Koushi's ears. He stands to keep his eyes on his boyfriend as the crowd around him rise to cheer and applaud.
Tooru's on hands and knees in front of the net, in front of Kageyama and gazing up at him. Even from this distance Koushi can see the pain in his boyfriend's warm brown eyes and the tension in his shoulders. Kageyama stands on the other side of the net, deep blue eyes watching his former senpai calmly despite the oppressive exertion clear in his body. The dark haired man extends his hand under the net and Tooru doesn't even hesitate to take it. Standing face to face they shake hands before Kageyama's pulled away by his over enthusiastic teammates. As soon as his kouhai's turned away Tooru's shoulders slump.
Koushi stands in silence while the crowd around him thins and the teams on the court disappear; one in overjoyed celebration and the other in despondent grief.
Slowly waking himself from the sadness he's feeling for his partner Koushi makes his way down to the change and meeting rooms where Tooru's team is likely still being debriefed. Taking deep breaths Koushi calms himself, readies himself. This isn't about him. He needs to be there for Tooru. His boyfriend needs him.
"Sugawara-san," a determined voice calls out to him, a voice he would recognise anywhere.
The victorious setter comes down the stairs after him, face softened from the perpetual frown of his youth.
"Kageyama-kun," Koushi's a little surprised but smiles welcomingly nonetheless. "Congratulations on the win. You played as well as ever!"
"Thank you Sugawara-san," his former kouhai bows formally, a light flush colouring his cheeks. "I, uh, I want to make sure Oikawa-san is okay before we leave."
Koushi's smile brightens adoringly. "I haven't seen him yet but I'm sure he'll be okay. Tooru is a big boy and it's not the first time he's lost to you after all."
Kageyama nods solemly. "I know… Just- Look after him Sugawara-san."
"Always."
With another bow and a farewell Kageyama turns and leaves. It never ceases to amaze Koushi how much Kageyama cares for Tooru; even through their continued rivalry the amount of respect and admiration between them is profound.
Outside the change rooms stands a group of people; partners and family all waiting patiently to comfort their distraught loved ones. Eyes move to Koushi, sympathetic eyes, eyes of team member's wives that have heard stories of Tooru's ability to crumble after a loss. The team is a close group, a warm family, and Koushi knows many of these women, likes them and gets along well with them, but right now he despises that pity in their expressions. Nothing about supporting his boyfriend makes him feel as though he needs to be pitied. Nothing about his boyfriend's reaction to loss is shameful.
Tooru is a confident man with a heavy burden on his shoulders, he blames himself, he overanalyses and he feels too much. All of these things make only Koushi love him more.
The change room door finally opens and slowly the team members start filing out, anguish filled eyes immediately searching for loved ones, seeking comfort. When Tooru exits though he's a little different. He can't even maintain eye contact with Koushi as he approaches. Koushi's muscles strain, wanting to walk forward and embrace his boyfriend but he waits, forcing himself to be patient.
Long arms quickly find their way around Koushi's waist and pull him against a tall solidly built body that's warm with exertion and damp with sweat. Koushi wraps his arms around Tooru's neck, rising on his toes and stroking the damp curly hair at the nape of his neck. They just hold each other for a long time as people move around them. Neither of them care about the people or the place, everything just fades into away, unimportant, in the warmth and love of their embrace.
"I'm sorry Kou-chan, I probably smell bad," Tooru mumbles against his neck as he does every time they embrace after a match.
"It's okay, I'm used to your bad smell."
"Mean."
Koushi chuckles as they pull away from each other, but only enough to kiss chastely. He doesn't close his eyes as they do, deliberating the tension in Tooru's face. It's honestly not as bad as he thought it would be. There is a sense of frustration in his expression but not the utterly overwhelmed sense of defeat he was expecting.
"I'm going to go shower," Tooru announces, unravelling himself from his boyfriend. "I'll be back in five minutes."
"No rush, Tooru," Koushi smiles.
Taking as seat on one of the benches Koushi leans back against the wall and relaxes; his muscles stiff from being so rigid and edgy through the intensely close game. He's always anxious through Tooru's games, even if they're winning easily. His boyfriend has a knack for throwing himself wholeheartedly into every game and at every ball. While his determination is endearing it's also terrifying to watch.
They've been together for five years now and while it hasn't always been easy – what relationship is? – Koushi's loved every day. There's never been anyone in his life that draws so much of his attention and keeps it, that adores him unwaveringly and looks at him like he's the only person in the world that truly matters. The warmth between them has never, for even a second, weakened; not even when they get angry with each other. Koushi knows without a doubt that there will never be anyone he wants or loves more than Tooru.
He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and slides it out to check the message.
Iwaizumi Hajime
How is he
Koushi can't help but smile at this. Tooru, you are so adored and cared for, he thinks. Though at this point it's expected that Hajime would keep a close eye on the scores when he can't be here.
Sugawara Koushi
A lot better than I expected. Haven't really spoken to him yet. I'll let you know when we get home.
Iwaizumi Hajime
I don't want him whinging about cockblocking him again so just let me know in the morning
Fingers freezing over the touch screen of his phone, warmth rises in Koushi's cheeks at the message but there is a smile curling his lips. He doesn't really know how to respond…
Sugawara Koushi
Oh, you wouldn't be, but um, yes. In the morning. Good night Hajime ^_^
"What is that smile and blush Kou-chan? Messaging your lover on the side?" Tooru's voice tears his eyes away from the scene. "That's a very rude thing to do after your boyfriends losing game."
"Oh, it's just Hajime."
Tooru extends a taped hand and Koushi takes it, lacing their fingers together habitually as he stands. Their every touch is so natural, they move so comfortably and fluidly with each other; and yet simply holding hands still manages to set Koushi's heart beat just that little bit faster.
"Iwa-chan is your lover on the side?" Tooru raises an eyebrow at him. "And here I thought he was straight. But I suppose that is the power you possess Kou-chan; too extraordinarily beautiful for people to let silly things like sexuality get in their way."
Koushi merely smiles as his boyfriend drapes a long arm over his shoulders and pulls him in close to kiss his head while they walk to the car. Tooru's light-hearted joking and affection is a good sign. There is still some desperation for support in the clinging and closeness – though it would be indiscernible to anyone else from his usual affectionate self – but that's easy enough to deal with, welcomed even.
He still remembers so clearly the first time Tooru had lost to Kageyama. It was their – Koushi and Tooru's – beginning and though the memory of it still makes his chest tight with sorrow and sympathy he wouldn't have it any other way. If he could spare Tooru all the pain in his life Koushi would chose not to if it meant giving up that moment. It's selfish. But love tends to be that way.
In the excitement and celebration of winning to Aoba Jousai Koushi had left his water bottle at the court. On his way down a long empty corridor – because of course he'd gone the wrong way – he heard a sniffle and some gasping breaths. Only registering that someone was upset and probably needed help Koushi followed the distressing sounds.
Rounding a corner his eyebrows raised as he recognised the form of Aoba Jousai's illustrious captain even with his legs pulled tight against his chest and hunched over them. Then Koushi's eyebrows knit together as a powerful sob shook through Tooru's frame that had always seemed so tall and strong but suddenly looked so fragile.
Needing to comfort him Koushi approached Tooru in the nook he was hidden in. The captain heard him, his head shooting up from being buried in his arms and shooting him a tear-filled, red rimmed glare.
"Come to gloat?" Tooru's voice was strained, low and lacking all the chiming charm Koushi had come to expect.
"Of course not, I… Are you okay?"
He laughed bitterly. "Oh I'm wonderful."
Tooru smiled but it was about as convincing as Hinata saying that he didn't need to go to the bathroom before a game. That is to say, not at all. It was a broken smile, pained and not touching the devastated misery in his pale brown eyes. Koushi couldn't stop staring at him, at the heart-breaking contortion of his face that still didn't make Tooru any less attractive. Frustration – and possibly embarrassment – boiled over and made Tooru conceal his face again.
Not really knowing what to do – Koushi wasn't exactly the best person to comfort the captain of the team he'd just beaten – he walked over slowly and sat down beside him. He was sure of one thing, he couldn't leave Tooru there alone.
In the silence Tooru's sniffling was far too loud, it cut right through Koushi's being and tore at his heart. He'd never really liked the boy due to his taunting of Kageyama – someone Koushi has always felt protective over – but he was sure, in that moment, that he never wanted to hear Tooru so distraught ever again. It hurt. More than it should've for a mere acquaintance.
The crying boy didn't protest as Koushi sat down, nor when he instinctively and caringly rubbed soothing circles between his shoulder blades, nor when he shuffled in closer, sides pressed together. After a few minutes his sniffling quietened, but his breathing remained erratic. Tooru leaned against him and then Koushi found himself enveloped in a bone-crushing embrace. He stiffened in surprise at Tooru's face buried in the crook of his neck and the strong hands gripping at the back of his black jersey but started to relax rather quickly. It felt nice. It felt right.
"Damn it Shittykawa, you better not be-"
The gruff voice was cut short and Hajime stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Tooru wrapped around Koushi. A blush quickly bloomed across Koushi's cheeks as he glanced between the two best friends from Aoba Jousai. Tooru seemed far less affected; he simply untangled himself and rose to his feet, wiping at the wetness on his face.
"Are we leaving Iwa-chan?"
"Yes…" Hajime frowned at his friend sounding like he wanted to say more.
As Koushi stood he was abruptly pulled into another hug and Tooru whispered his appreciation before letting go and slapping Hajime on the shoulder as he left.
"C'mon Iwa-chan, what are we waiting for?"
Koushi stared, wide-eyed after the captain before turning his attention back to Hajime who was smiling gratefully at him. He's fairly certain he had never seen the Aoba Jousai ace smile before and was surprised by how friendly he looked when he did.
"We were waiting for you, you dumbass," Hajime growled as he followed after Tooru, kicking him in the shin.
"Oww," Tooru whined. "Talk about kicking a guy while he's down."
"You don't look all that 'down' to me, in fact you look pretty damn proud of yourself."
He's grown a lot since then, Koushi thinks, glancing at his boyfriend as they pull into their parking space outside their apartment. The drive home was quiet, Tooru staring out the window pensively and Koushi focussing on driving. As soon as they get out Tooru takes Koushi's hand and they make their way upstairs.
Once inside and shoes have been taken off Tooru's arms encompass his waist once more. He will never get sick of the comfort and safety he feels in the strength of those arms. While Koushi habitually wraps his arms around Tooru's neck his boyfriend bends his knees and lifts Koushi off the ground. He smiles as their lips meet for soft, languid kisses full of comfort and love. His heart flutters in his chest. Koushi has been waiting all this time for a limit to how good Tooru's kisses are but they never cease to make him melt in bliss or burn with desire.
Koushi realises Tooru's moving and his eyes shoot open as he realises the direction they're going. The bedroom. Of course.
"No," he pulls away from his boyfriend's mouth abruptly with a wet smack. "Tooru, you need to eat."
"Mm, I have my eye on something rather delicious," Tooru purrs, biting his own lip suggestively and it drops heat quickly to Koushi's abdomen, muscles tensing with the sudden arousal.
Yet, he manages a disapproving tilt of his head and a challenging raised eyebrow. "You just played an incredibly intense game, you pushed your body to its limits and you're exhausted. I can tell."
A devious smile curls Tooru's lips. Oh God, not good.
"That's why I wanted you to fuck me," he states, mouthing at Koushi's neck. Tooru's voice is low and persuasive as he runs the tip of his tongue along the underside of his jaw sending a shiver down Koushi's spine. "Can you do that for me Kou-chan?" Tooru whispers against his ear.
"Tooru," Koushi grinds out through his teeth, annoyance lost in the breathiness of his voice. "Tooru!" He says, more firmly. "Kitchen, now."
Heaving a defeated and dramatic sigh Tooru turns around.
"Yes dear."
In the kitchen Koushi plants an affectionate – rewarding – kiss on his boyfriend's cheek before he's set down on the ground. Without pause Koushi gets to work warming the food he'd prepared earlier for this specific purpose. This is routine. From being around athlete's all his adult – and young adult – life Koushi knows as well as anyone how important nutritional food is, especially after a game. He remembers Ukai telling him as much after Karasuno's loss to Aoba Jousai.
It doesn't take him long before he's setting a bowl down in front of Tooru who's waiting patiently at the dining table. Before Koushi can walk away Tooru grips his wrist and pulls him down into his lap.
"You're staying here," Tooru states, leaving no room for question.
Koushi's already eaten so he giggles and settles sideways on his boyfriend's lap. "You're very affectionate tonight," he remarks, softly pushing his fingers through the feathery brown hair at Tooru's temple. "Are you feeling okay about the loss?"
Swallowing his mouthful Tooru tilts his head and meets Koushi's concerned gaze. "I'm okay Kou-chan, you worry too much."
He smiles but Koushi can see the minor strain in it, the lack of its usual brilliance. While it's true that Tooru's okay with the loss there is something more, something hidden.
"Talk to me, Tooru."
He drops his gaze to the food he's restlessly pushing around the bowl. "It's not the first time Tobio-chan's beaten me… At least that's what I thought at first, how I initially consoled myself. But this was different from the loss to Karasuno. At that level Karasuno had so much talent outside of Tobio-chan; the ace, the libero, even those damn float serves. But this time… Our teams were as well matched as possible. Tobio-chan was the one that outplayed me."
Koushi nods along, he'd interpreted the game as such. A battle of wits. Setter vs. Setter. But he remains quiet, fingers gently brushing through Tooru's hair as he waits for him to continue.
"When I realised it I was surprised by how calm I was. I felt like I should have been angry or annoyed or… Something. But I wasn't," a smile twitches at Tooru's lips. "I'm actually proud of him."
Surprise lines Koushi's face before a bright smile stretches his face. This is something Tooru will probably never admit to anyone but Koushi, especially not Kageyama, but the fact that he recognises it makes Koushi so unbelievably happy. I'm so proud of you, Tooru.
"You utter a word of that to anyone and I will punish you."
Koushi chuckles and rests his head against the other's shoulder, watching with a giddy grin as he continues to eat. Watching him enjoy the food he made him; lips curling in delight as he chews. In every little thing Tooru does Koushi can see his appreciation for his support and delight for his presence in his life. Koushi relishes every moment.
Infatuation is not a strong enough word.
"What exactly would my punishment be…?" He asks playfully, pressing his lips against Tooru's pulse point and feeling him swallow hard.
"Kou-chan if you continue being sexy then I will not be able to finish my food. Sit still and be quiet. I shall be enjoying you soon enough."
"Don't you mean I'll be enjoying you, Tooru?" Koushi whispers against his ear while trailing his fingers lightly down his neck.
Tooru growls low in his throat and pushes his chair back, abruptly rising with Koushi in his arms. Koushi laughs cheerfully as Tooru takes him to the bedroom.
"You're such a tease Kou-chan."
