A/N: So, I read the latest chapter of DNAngel, and holy shit all I can say is SUGISAKI- SENSEI, PLEASE GET THE NEXT CHAPTERS OUT SOON. Ugh, the suspense is killing me. Anyway, this is my take on elaborating on Satoshi's thoughts during this extremely tense part of the chapter. SPOILERS FOR VOL. 15 STAGE 4 (the school dance part of the story). I do not own anything y'all.

Part of the Equation

He was hurting. Oh god he was hurting. With some of the last of his remaining energy, Satoshi struggled to force Krad back inside of him.

The last thing that had registered in his blurry head was the sound of a gun firing and the dull impact he felt go up his arm. Perhaps he had done it… Maybe now it was finally over. Maybe he could finally rest.

But as Satoshi's vision began to come back into focus, all he could see was Daisuke lying on the ground in front of him. His heart leapt into his throat. No, he couldn't have- It wasn't supposed to work that way! It was only supposed to affect Dark and Krad, not humans! But then again, he and Daisuke weren't exactly normal humans. He gulped in-between his ragged breaths.

With a slight twitch, the small red haired boy gasped.

Satoshi felt himself give a small sigh of relief, and watched passively as Daisuke shook off the impact with valiant effort and quickly stood back up to face the other boy. As glad as he was that his best friend was alright, he couldn't stop the words that seemed to force themselves out of his mouth.

"Just how much do you want to torment me?"

It was the million dollar question, and for a quick moment Satoshi couldn't believe that he had uttered it, even in his weakened mental state. Deep down inside of him he knew that Daisuke would never want to cause him or anyone else any kind of harm- it simply wasn't in the boy's nature. But despite knowing this, Satoshi supposed he had always harbored a small animosity towards him on the subject, for surely Daisuke knew just how much he suffered because of their fates. The boy had even confronted Satoshi about it, on several occasions. Didn't he care? Didn't he care about what housing Krad was doing to his body? Or his mind?

Stop it. That wasn't fair.

He couldn't expect Daisuke to understand what he was going though. Daisuke did not live with Krad, didn't know what the angel was capable of, and didn't know of his other half's pure malice. It wasn't Daisuke's fault. The Niwa boy had only experience with Dark living inside of his head, and only interacted with Krad when Satoshi's guards had fallen and the angel escaped. Dark was different from Krad, more accepting of the fact that he had to share an existence with a human, and was destined to be passed through the Niwa family line. Dark had even proved on multiple occasions that he cared for his tamer, and went to great lengths to keep Daisuke out of harm's way. In a way, Satoshi was jealous; he couldn't imagine what it would be like to live with a friend with you. Always.

Satoshi stepped closer to the smaller boy.

"Niwa, you must have given this some thought…"

In his entire life, Satoshi had only had one friend; one person he felt loved him and cared for his well being. One person he felt close enough to to rely on. For all his short years, Satoshi had learned to not depend on anyone for anything. He was hardened, self reliant, cold. But somehow, the small red haired boy in front of him had managed to melt through some of the ice, and Satoshi felt his stone heart ease a little whenever he was near him. Perhaps this was what love was; if it wasn't love, then Satoshi wouldn't have known the difference.

Satoshi reached out and gently took Daisuke's shoulder, the gun still in his hand, and rested his head against the other boy's neck. It was all he could do not to collapse against him and give in to the exhaustion that was forever tugging him downward.

"If… If Dark does not exist, everything…everything…everything will end." As he uttered these words, Satoshi could hear the pleading in his voice. "For me, please, transform into Dark…Niwa…"

But even if Daisuke was his friend, they were still just parts of an ancient equation. Part of a long string of events that had been planned out for them before their births, and there was nothing either of them could do to stop it. Daisuke was still a Niwa and Satoshi was still a Hikari, and they were two factions that would never be able to coexist. Even if Daisuke cared about Satoshi, he was still programmed to not let Dark be defeated, just as Satoshi couldn't help but try to make sure Dark didn't prevail.

Satoshi felt Daisuke's cheek press against the side of his head.

"Sorry, I won't transform into Dark."

That was it. Satoshi felt his heart clench within his chest. That was his death sentence. Daisuke had refused, and the blue haired boy didn't have it in him to somehow force the other to transform, just so he could kill the boy's beloved other half. The words of his "father" echoed through his mind; 'Either destroy Dark and stay alive, or you die.' What choice did he have? His father's words were a promise. If he didn't get rid of Dark and end the Niwa/Hikari feud, either Krad or his father would end his life. Just like a piece of an equation that only makes finding the answer harder, and is therefore factored out.

He was going to die.

Satoshi was pulled from his thoughts by Daisuke's voice.

"Hiwatari-kun…"

Gentle hands came up to touch Satoshi's shoulders, but they did not stop there. The gentle hands were followed by slender arms that slipped around the blue haired boy's tired shoulders, pulling him in closer into a tight embrace.

"You are not Krad. I understand very well. Hiwatari-kun is Hiwatari-kun."

Against Daisuke's shoulder Satoshi felt himself smile, hot tears beginning to run down his cold cheeks.

These were words he had been longing to hear. Not since he was a very small child had he heard these words, spoken from the mouth of his mother just before she slipped into eternal sleep.

Oh, how he wished he could fall into the same eternal rest, freeze framing that moment. He was so tired, but as he rested his weight against his best friend he felt that the world was no longer crushing itself onto him. He wished he could stay wrapped in Daisuke's arms forever; he was starved for this kind of contact, after years of slaps and punches from his "father" and internal torture from Krad. He wanted to stop time in exactly this moment and stay in such warmth and kindness for all time.

So why didn't he? After all, Satoshi knew that he was going to die soon. So why didn't he just remove himself from the equation before Krad or his "father" did? He could let himself rest. He could stay in this moment forever…

Feeling the gun in his hand, Satoshi slowly pulled himself away from Daisuke's embrace, not caring that Daisuke would be able to see the tears that were still running from his tired blue eyes. After all, a gun was a gun, and even if it was only intended to work on magical beings, at such a close range surely it would work…

He smiled softly at Daisuke and raised the barrel of the gun to the temple of his head, his finger cocked on the trigger.

"You don't understand me at all."

A/N: Please review and let me know if you like it or not! :D