This is my first fanfic! So please go easy on me. The Brittanna kiss in 5x12 '100' from the P.O.V. of Santana Lopez. Enjoy...

Oh God.

My heart has just dropped through my body, out onto the floor. By this point she has it in her grips, but it feels different to before. It's not like she could destroy me at any moment by telling me that she doesn't love me. She has my heart and all its strings but this time it's as though she holds it safely. She knows the power that she has over me, how my knees buckle to her, succumb to her, how my brown eyes are completely lost within the crystal blue of her own. She knows she could destroy me, but she won't. Not this time.

It's as though time has slowed down, the seconds spread out across days now, like when I watch her dance and the sixteenth second of a step lasts for days, all I see is her form move, her passion, her anatomy in my dreams...

Shit. She's leaned over to me and I see her beautiful blue eyes flicker down to see my lips as though with the intent to devour me. I can't do this. Don't kiss me. Please don't kiss me. Please don't –

My insides had been empty ever since I sung those words to her over a year ago. I will always love you the most. And when I could no longer love her it was like everything inside me had suddenly been drained, like my heart was the vastness of space, nothing but blackness, emptiness, soulless, apart from the stars, the memories. The memories of her. They were all that kept me going.

She touches my face, with her thumb placed on my cheek and her fingers on her neck... this is the greatest indicator of how much I know she wants me now. I always felt somewhere inside like this relationship was one – sided, that she just accepted being more than friends to avoid breaking my heart... but now I know. Brittany is taking charge... she wants me.

Her lips are so soft, she tastes so good, and I can't stop myself from moaning my breath into her mouth... I'm so ready to surrender to her. All I want is for her to take me, for her to taste me forever, I want to get out of here, I just want to go with her.

Dani. My Dani. No. Don't lean into me again, as much as I want it... my teeth hit her lips and her hand moves from my face even though I can see as she licks her lips she can barely control herself.

"Okay... um. It's a bad idea."

No. Don't look at me like that, please don't look at me like that. If only you knew how much I want you you would not be looking at me like that. I secretly love how she won't lower her hand, everything about her now shows me how much she desires to kiss me again, but I can't look at her or else I will shamelessly surrender.

There's a pause.

She turns to face me again. She looks at me so fearlessly and all I can do it stop from my whole body shaking. I can hardly look at her. I feel like a child again, and she is so strong. She knows what she wants.

"It feels really good to be around you. You make me feel like.. a girl again. Like my body wakes up."

It's all I can do to stop from crying, because these are the scenes that kept playing out in my head in those nights in Louisville where I could do nothing but cry myself to sleep. I can only just control my voice enough to stop it from shaking.

"Please don't do this, okay. I have worked my ass off to get over you."

She gets up and what scares me the most is that I cannot help but to stare... at everything. I hate when she wears jeans. I hate her stupid butt. I hate her stupid blonde hair, and her pink lips, and her waist when all I wish I could do was grab it and pull her closer to me, and kiss her lips, and run my fingers through her hair, and take her jeans off...

Dani.

But I can't, and all I can do is sit here in my rigidity, not daring to move, I feel paralysed, and I hate that she's standing over me because I feel vulnerable but in the best way. I feel like I'm hers, like she can protect me, not as though she can hurt me. She's my protector now when all I ever tried to do was protect her. Her staring at me makes me feel more beautiful than I've ever felt, like I need not to dress up anymore, but that I can just be.

Oh God. I would say that she begins to speak, but it's more like she begins to drip honey off of her tounge.

"I really wanna be with you, Santana. I've seen the world and I'm sure now more than ever that I belong with you. And I'm sure your girlfriend's great, but... you can't recreate what you and I have."

There is no malice in what she says, no resentment for Dani. I wish that she were wrong but the words she says are only confirming the fears that I have had for months, that I chose a blonde girl to date, because, well...

Shit. Don't lean into me again. Please don't lean into me again. My brain has told my body not to move, because if I were to move I would touch her and all my adrenaline would mean that I would never stop touching her...

Her hands are on either side of my legs and she leans to kiss me on the cheek. I never knew that lips could conduct so much electricity as to ignite everything in my body that I had missing. She has woken up my body, but I'm too scared for my heart to wake up with it because I know what will happen.

She saw my eyes flicker to her lips and she knows she has me.

"If you want me, I'm here."

Of course I want you.