It's happening again. Yet another night where sleep just won't take over my exhausted body, no matter much I crave it.
Since I have nothing better to do then lay here dreamless, let me explain a few things to you.
My name is Megan, and I'm a senior in high school. I have only had one boyfriend, and one love. Since then plenty of boys have asked me out but none of them are him, and none of them will ever fill the gaping hole he left in me.
This isn't a cliché story where the girl is the best friend, nor is it one where she's invisible and bullied, nor is it a hatred turning to love story.
This isn't a story at all. This is my life. I don't know what the outcome will be, I don't know anything right now. I'm just as clueless as you when it comes to what words will be written next. So I say we sit back and find out.
I heard his voice in the back of the classroom as I sat next to my best friend Ashlyn, who was going on and on about her plans for the summer.
"I can't believe you're leaving me for the entire summer to go on a trip to France and England. I hate you so much right now." I whined and she frowned.
"We'll still talk every day! Plus I'll bring you back some fabulous presents." She giggled.
"And then you can like go get your nails done! And talk about Justin Bieber's ass! Then you can, like, OMG at things and like O-M-G."
I turned to face the voice of the annoying person named Zach. "Shut the fuck up."
"Not very nice," He frowned, pretending to be hurt beyond repair, I simply rolled my eyes. Zach is probably what most would consider the class clown, always out to have a good laugh. However I consider him to be annoying after all he is my brother.
That's another thing this story is not. It's not the story of some poor girl who is pining over her twin brother's best friend. The truth is, I had Cameron once and it was great but then it was all thrown away when December 18, 2011 hit.
I stared at Cameron behind Zach for a few moments shaking the images out of my head, for good.
"Seriously, you can't leave me with this." I said turning back to Ashlyn and pointing at my brother.
"What am I supposed to do? Pack him in my bag and take him with me?"
"Well he is your boyfriend."
"We're not dating!" Zach and Ashlyn exclaimed both leaning back and groaning. They should definitely be dating, but they're just too damn stubborn.
"You could date though." Cameron's voice broke in and when I looked up he shot me a smile. I smiled back but inside I was dying. I hated being this close to him without being able to have everything back, I hated this entire situation.
The bell rang and I grabbed Ashlyn's arm running out of there as fast as I could possibly go.
"Are you okay?" She questioned as we followed the crowd of students to the cafeteria.
"Yeah, I just hate being that close to him after everything." I whispered shrugging.
"Aw, I understand." She frowned hugging me quickly. "You know there's always a chance you two could fall in love again, I mean he is still here."
"Not really." I shook my head. "Trust me, it will probably never happen."
"Why?" She questioned opening the cafeteria door and letting me walk in.
"Because he truly believes he's the Cameron from freshman, sophomore and junior year. He's not the boy that fell in love with me anymore. He's back to being the boy that simply thinks of me as the girl who clings to her brother because she has no one else."
"I don't think that." She answered. "Back then Cameron would barely talk to you, at least now he's your friend."
"Which only hurts me more. I wish that he just completely forgot about me." I answered. "Actually, I really wish that it had been me instead of him."
"Stop that right now!" She frowned. "Don't you dare think like that."
"Fine," I sighed just to get her to calm down and leave me alone.
We continued to pile our trays with food before going out to the courtyard and joining Cameron and Zach at a picnic table. While they talked Ashlyn and I carried our own conversation, however I caught bits and pieces of the conversation leaving their mouths.
"So how did that appointment go?" Zach questioned.
"Fine, I guess." Cameron shrugged. "They kept asking me about some accident I got in with my girlfriend. I just stared at them and told them they had the wrong patient, that I wasn't in any accident and I'm single."
Tears sprang my eyes as I stared at my food trying to stop them from over flowing and praying to God Cameron would just drop it.
"But they didn't believe me!" He exclaimed, and I could tell by the tone of his voice it annoyed him. "Like they honestly, thought I'd forget something like that. Fuck no."
"Excuse me," I exclaimed standing from the table and walking away as quickly as I could so no one would see the tears.
(Zach's POV)
"Excuse me," Megan's voice said and when I turned she was walking back toward the building, her head hung low trying to hide the obvious tears.
"What's her problem?" Cameron questioned. If it were any other circumstance I would have punched him, but instead I just stood telling Ashlyn I'd go find her. As I walked away Ashlyn sat down slowly but I could see the worry in her face.
I ran after Megan and finally found her sitting in the empty auditorium.
(Megan's POV)
"Hey, can I sit?" Zach's voice asked. I turned to see him approaching the edge of the stage where I was sitting.
"Sure," I whispered, but it was so silent it was easy to hear me.
"You okay?" He questioned a moment or two of silence later.
"It should have been me Zach." I whispered, tears springing to my eyes.
"Technically it should have been, but it wasn't." He answered, pulling me into his side, hugging me close. "I'm grateful for that." I could hear in his voice that my words made him sad, but I couldn't help it they were the truth.
"Cameron pushed me out of the way." I answered softly, thanking back to the horrible night
(Flashback)
The night was cold, and the breeze hit me like a thousand bricks as I pushed through the door and out into the parking lot. Feeling an instant chill I tightened my jacket against me, trying to keep warm.
"Megan," Cameron's voice called behind me and I quickened my pace as I walked toward the car, where I would demand he take me home. "Just wait a minute!"
"Why?" I questioned turning to face him as I stopped in the middle of the parking lot. "I have nothing to say to you Cameron, you basically told your friend that I was replaceable! How do you expect that makes me feel?"
He was now only about fifty feet from me, doing what I wished by leaving me some space. When he opened his mouth to speak I heard the squealing of tires and the flash of headlights as a car came toward me, full speed out of control. I screamed and waited for the impact, that would come milliseconds later; but it never came. Instead I came in contact with the hard concrete and I heard the slam of another body hitting the car.
I sat up and saw Cameron's limp body roll off the hood and down to the cold ground.
"CAMERON!" I screamed running to him. I gently turned him over trying to find a place on his face that wasn't covered in blood, but it was hopeless.
The last thing I remember was Zach coming out, calling 911. I stayed there, screaming Cameron's name over and over again until the paramedics got there. I had a broken wrist from falling on the concrete, and a few cuts and bruise. When they got there Zach pulled me toward one ambulance while a whole team set to work on saving my boyfriend's life.
(End of flashback)
"He pushed you out of the way because he cares about you Megan." Zach whispered but I just shook my head.
"No he doesn't, not anymore." With that I got to my feet and walked away. I called my Mom told her I wasn't feeling well. She called the school, I signed out and left.
The next day I awoke and got dressed in what was considered my new normal. I used to always make an effort to look cute but anyone more I didn't want to deal with it. So I rolled out of bed threw on sweats, a tank top, and converse. After that I brushed my hair, threw it in a mess bun, put on my contacts, washed my face, grabbed my purse phone and laptop then left the room heading downstairs. (Outfit: .com/cgi/set?id=37946676)
"Morning," Zach said as cheerfully as I would allow.
"Hey," I answered nodding to him as I grabbed an apple, walking toward the sink to rinse it off. "So Cameron's appointment was yesterday afternoon, have you heard anything on it?"
"No," He answered, shaking his head. "But I'll tell you if and when I find anything out."
I nodded my head slowly. Today was Cameron's final chance, the last hope we had of him regaining his memory. His family and all of us, including myself, have worked for weeks trying to make him relive moments. Yesterday we found out if it was working.
When I got to school I saw Ashlyn in her usual cuteness (outfit: .com/cgi/set?id=37949141) , and I looked down at my boring outfit wishing I could bring myself to dress like that again.
"Hey," She smiled when I approached my locker that was right next to hers.
"Hey," I smiled back. "You look nice today, still trying to impress my brother?"
"Don't say it out loud!" She gasped, looking around quickly to make sure Zach wasn't in ear shot.
"Calm down, he went to a baseball meeting."
"Oh, are you going to their game Friday night?" She questioned me.
"Probably," I said shrugging my shoulders. "Depends on how I feel."
"Alright," She frowned. "Well I need to go see Ms. Timmons about that Government assignment I didn't understand. I'll talk to you later."
"Alright, bye." I called as she walked away.
"Hey Megan," A deep voice called and I turned to see Cameron walking toward me.
"Hey what's up?" I questioned him as he approached.
"Where's your brother?" He asked, looking everywhere but at me.
"Baseball meeting, I think." I answered. As soon as the words left my mouth he was gone. Sighing quietly to myself I watched him walk away before turning back to my locker.
"Hey Megan!" Another voice called. When I turned I expected to see Ashlyn but instead I was met with Cameron's sister Anna approaching me.
"Hey," I smiled hugging the sophomore. "How are you?"
"Hey, and I'm good." She smiled. "You?"
"Doing okay." I answered, turning back to my locker to grab my books. "So how did Cameron's appointment go yesterday?"
When she didn't answer I turned to look at her. Her entire face was blank as she attempted to find something to cause a distraction. This wasn't going to be good news.
"Anna," I said sternly. The girl looked back at me, her green eyes wide.
Finally, after a mini staring contest, I broke her.
"The doctor said-" And the bell rang causing her face to light up. "Oops! Gotta go, don't want to be late. Bye Megan!" She called over her shoulder as she walked through the crowd.
"Ugh!" I exclaimed, slamming my locker shut and walking toward my math class.
When I walked into the classroom Zach was facing front, Cameron was sitting behind him, texting. That's not a good sigh. What made it worse was my brother's posture. He sat there, looking out into space with his head resting in his hands and his entire body was rigid, his face blank. The moment I saw him like that I knew that whatever happened with the doctor was bad, very bad.
Sliding into my seat next to him the bell rang, I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen scribbling a few words down before reaching across the aisle and placing it on my brothers desk. He opened the note and stared at it for a long time. He looked troubled.
A few moments later the teacher turned her back to begin putting notes on the board. Zach placed the paper back on my desk. I took a deep breath, glanced back at Cameron was taking notes and hiding his phone, so he could continue to text. Here goes possibly everything.
Unfolding the note the last little bit of my heart that was intact, shattered.
How bad is it really?
He's never going to get his memory back, Megan. I'm so sorry.
Tears sprang to my eyes as my hand shot up in the air.
"Alright class," Miss Nelson said turning to face us. "Yes, Megan?"
"May I be excused?" I questioned tears running down my cheeks.
"Yes, but are you alright?" She questioned concerned.
"No," I answered standing and running out of there as fast as I could.
I ran down the hall, weaving between a few students who have a free, I didn't stop. I didn't want to stop, I wanted to run until this entire place was gone and out of my head.
"Megan," A voice called behind me and I knew it was Zach but I didn't stop. I just wanted time alone right now.
*(Ashlyn's POV)
"What do you want Mr. Porter?" The teacher asked as everyone else finished their quiz over the second Act of Macbeth, I turned mine in five minutes ago.
I looked up hearing Zach's name and when I saw his face I knew it wasn't good.
"The principal needs to see Ashlyn." He said very seriously.
Mr. Harrison looked from Zach to me before letting out a sigh. "Very well, go and don't disturb my class again."
Rolling my eyes I gathered my stuff and walked to the door with Zach.
"What's really going on?" I questioned.
"Have you ever ditched?" He questioned as we walked down the hall.
"No!" I exclaimed.
"Well there's a first time for everything." He looked at me smirking.
"There is no way in hell I am going to ditch without a good reason." I exclaimed, coming to a halt in the middle of the hallway.
"Fine," he stopped too and looked at me. I didn't think he was going to say anything else but he surprised me. "Cameron will never get his memory back," I gasped lightly, my heart instantly breaking. "And Megan found out."
"Where is she now?" I questioned.
"Gone, but I have a pretty good idea where she is." Zach answered. "You with me?"
"Shouldn't you call your Mom?"
"Fuck no, you know better than anyone else that Megan is all I have and likewise I'm all she has. Our mother doesn't give a rats ass about us."
"Let's go." I answered.
I followed Zach out to his car and we got in. We drove in silence for about five minutes.
"Hey Ashlyn," He finally spoke into the silence.
"What's up?" I questioned turning to look at him as he drove.
"I know this isn't really the time, but I can't wait any longer. Will you go out with me?"
I tried very hard not to squeal, so fighting very hard I managed a smile. "I'd like that."
"Awesome," He said turning to look at me with a smile.
We continued to drive for quiet sometime until we reached a cliff point known as Shining Hills. It was a native American term that I never understood because there were no hills only cliffs. We always go cliff diving here when it's really hot outside, because the water is clear, there's a beach and it's deep.
"Do you really think she's here?" I questioned looking around for her car, but I found none.
"Yeah, she probably parked farther down so no one would find her." He answered cutting the engine.
We got out of the car and walked toward the cliffs. When we did we found Megan standing on the edge. I have to admit, knowing she was that upset it scared the hell out of me to see her on the edge.
"Megan," Zach called quietly, not wanting to scare her and have her to slip. "Are you okay?"
Stupid question, Zach. I thought as I shook my head.
"Yup, I'm just peachy." She answered, clearly sarcastically.
"Really?" Zach exclaimed.
"No!" Megan and I both said simultaneously.
"Oh," He frowned as him and I moved on either side of her. We all sat down, watching the waves and a few scattered dolphins that lined the ocean.
"Do you think he could fall in love with me again?" She asked after a few moments of silence.
"Yeah," Zach answered. "He asks why you dress the way you do now, he says he misses you having confidence enough to look good."
"Seriously?" She questioned her brother, who nodded in response.
"Yeah," Zach nodded his head.
"So it's settled then, I have to make him fall in love with me again." She concluded.
I frowned. "You can't make someone fall in love with you."
"I don't think she means, make, like force." Zach spoke. "I think she means more like make him realize that he could love her again."
"Yeah," She nodded, telling me that Zach's assumption was correct. "It may not work but I have to at least try, I can't stand missing him like I do now."
"Alright," I agreed. "If you want or need any help Zach and I are here for you."
"Thanks guys!" She grinned pulling us into a side hug.
"So do you want to start now?" I questioned, she nodded her head.
We sat on those rocks for almost an hour making lists of everything we needed to do. Megan needed to get some work done, since she's let herself go these past few months.
Zach tagged along with everything we did, being our official approver. He approved the color of brown that Megan dyed her hair as peek-a-boo again. He decided the clothes, make up and accessories that were most like herself that Cameron would like.
"We should do something tomorrow." I declared as we each walked out of the mall with an arm full of bags. "Kind of like a premiere of the Megan we know and love, celebrating that she's back."
It was true, Megan is back. She's finally moving forward in her life, even though it's somewhat of a step backwards.
"Yes!" Megan agreed.
"How about we hit the movies?" Zach suggested. "We could see…okay everything out right now sucks. How about we go bowling?"
"Yeah!" Megan and I agreed.
"Cool, I'll call Cameron later tonight."
"Alright." Megan grinned.
`(Megan's POV)
The next day Ashlyn came over early to help me get ready. While we were getting ready she told me about her and Zach and I honestly couldn't be happier for them. I also really wanted to dance around in my brother's face scream 'I told you' over and over again, but decided to be mature about the entire situation.
"There now you're already." She stepped away from me and I stood up to look in the mirror. I was surprised by what I saw (outfit: .com/cgi/set?id=37949141), myself.
For the first time in a very long time I felt completely like myself and that's something I never want to take back.
"Thank you!" I squealed hugging my best friend who was also dressed to impress. (Outfit: .com/cgi/set?id=37949141)
"You're welcome," She giggled hugging me back.
"Are you guys ready?" Zach called.
"Yeah," We called back as we grabbed our bags and walked downstairs.
"Very impressive," Zach smiled looking at me, I did a little bow before giggling. His eyes then moved to Ashlyn. "Perfect as always." He smiled, kissing her cheek as her cheeks inflamed in a blush. AW!
"Sure, I get 'impressive' and your girlfriend gets 'perfect'." I fake whined. "I can feel the love brother!"
"Let's just go!" He laughed back. We all agreed and followed him out to his car.
When we got to the bowling alley we parked next to Cameron.
"Damn can you guys ever be on-holy shit." I looked up to see what he was freaking out about only to see him staring directly at me.
"What?" I questioned, feeling self-conscious, the way he used to make me feel all the time.
"You look different." He answered, looking me up and down.
"Is it that bad?" I questioned. "Because I can go back to the way I dressed before."
"No!" He exclaimed, but then his cheeks turned red. "Don't do that! You look amazing this way."
"Thanks," I blushed.
"Okay, come on guys let's just go bowl." Zach said looking back at me and smirking. I knew what he was thinking.
It's already starting to work.
Smiling I followed everyone else in.
We played two games of boys vs. girls, the boys won. Then we played a game of siblings vs. friends, Zach and I won! Then lastly Zach and Ash vs. Me and Cameron. It was a surprisingly close game but me and Cameron came out on top.
"Hey man," Zach said as we sat in a diner eating our dinner.
"Yeah?" Cameron questioned looking up at my brother.
"I have to get Ashlyn home like now, we're late. Can you take Megan home?" He questioned, and I held my breath waiting for Cameron's answer.
"Yeah sure," He nodded sending a smile my way.
"Alright, cool, thanks man. Just have her home in an hour."
Cameron nodded yet again as Zach and Ashlyn slid out of the booth and left the diner.
"So…" Cameron said a few minutes later as we continued to eat.
"What?" I questioned laughing slightly.
"Nothing," He said smiling at me. I giggled and rolled my eyes before continuing to eat. "So why did you change?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well you dressed like that a long time ago but then you dressed in only jeans or sweats. It was like you didn't care."
"That's because I didn't care for awhile."
"Oh," He frowned slightly, as if he was trying to make sense of this all. "Then why dress that way again?"
"Because I want to for myself and I realized I do care again. The way I dress is part of how I am and I want people to like or dislike me for who I am truly."
"Well I'm not sure it's my place to say this but I really like it." He said gently as his green eyes watched me closely.
"Really?" I questioned, biting my lip and trying hard not to blush.
Grinning he nodded his head. "Yeah, you're beautiful but this shows your beauty way more than sweats and bedhead."
"Thanks," I smiled shyly. "That means a lot."
"No problem." He smiled back.
We talked while we continued to eat and half an hour later Cameron paid the bill, my tab included, and we walked out into the cold San Diego air. I felt a shiver run up my spine and instantly regretted not having a jacket or anything to wrap up in.
"Are you cold?" Cameron's voice asked from beside me.
"Just a little bit, but I'll be fine until we get to the car." I said quickly as he began taking off his hoodie, one I returned when he got in the accident.
"No, take it." He insisted and we stopped in the middle of the parking lot. Looking around me I realized this is exactly where it happened.
"T-Thanks," I stuttered out, grabbing the jacket and quickly walking toward his car.
"Whoa, you okay?" He questioned catching up to me.
"Yeah, I just don't like to stand in the middle of the parking lot." Which isn't a lie. Ever since that night I have had a fear of doing that especially in this particular parking lot. "So I wanted to get out of there."
"Why are you scared you'll get hit or something like that?" He questioned.
When I turned to look at him my green eyes met his brighter ones and I felt my throat dry and tighten. "Yeah," I nodded slowly, my eyes not moving from his. "Something like that."
"Oh, well let's get you home." He smiled taking my hand and leading me toward his car. My hand tingled as his touched it and I wanted to hold onto it forever, but I knew this was to be a slow progression and if I wanted Cameron back I couldn't force this onto him.
When we reached his car he opened the door for me before helping me in. I sat back in the front seat taking a deep breath, I couldn't mess this up.
"Ready to go?" He questioned as he pulled his door open..
Lifting my head I looked at him, seeing his perfect face and smiled with a nod as he got in. Starting the car he put in reverse and we were on our way home. I sat in the front seat feeling hopeful that this may actually turn out to be the way I want it to..
I smiled as Cameron held me close to him, his warm hug engulfing me with happiness.
"You're so beautiful," He whispered gently as he pushed the hair away from my face. I felt the blush rise to my cheeks. This shouldn't be happening; I should be used to this side of Cameron. Although I guess it's a good thing he can still make me blush after almost a year.
"Thanks," I whispered biting my lip but I soon released my hold as Cameron claimed my lips with his, kissing me very softly. I smiled against his lips, missing the feeling they brought, as I wrap my arms around his neck.
He pulled me closer adding even more pressure to the kiss. I moaned softly against his lips causing him to smirk as he picked me up gently in his arms, my legs winding around his waist as he began to move toward his bed.
He laid us both down gently and pulled away, his forehead resting against mine. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me softly. Grinning I reached my hands up and began to unbutton his shirt. He didn't move, he just continued to stare into my eyes.
"I love you," He whispered. Kissing my lips once quickly
"I love you too," I answered looking at him before his lips moved to my cheek and down my neck as I pushed his shirt from his shoulders and ran my hands up and down his bare chest and arms. He groaned against my neck and I smirked. However, my smirk quickly turned to a moan as his lips started to suck gently on the skin and his hand reached under my shirt for my bra.
I awoke in a rush, the dream was a flashback but it was so real I actually believed I was back to that moment in time, given a second chance to change things. When I woke up to see there was no Cameron anywhere near my room, my heart broke a little. As I laid back down to get some more sleep my alarm went off signaling it was time to get ready for school.
Groaning loudly I pulled myself out of bed and began getting ready. Forty-five minutes later I walked out of my room completely ready.
"You ready?" Zach questioned as I walked into the kitchen.
I smiled and nodded as I grabbed an apple and followed my brother out of the quiet house. I climbed in the front seat, as he got in on the drivers side.
"Do we need to pick up Ash?" I questioned as he started the red sports car.
"Nope," He answered. "She had to go in early." He explained and I nodded my head. "So I got a phone call this morning."
"Who was it?" I asked already knowing the answer,
"Grandma,," Zach began surprising me. I thought it would be my Mom telling him she's going to be gone a month longer and to take out money as we need it. My Mom's a successful model, yeah let's just that I'm happy she doesn't model using her real name. No one except Ashlyn, Cameron and Cameron and Zach's friend Michael knows that.
"What did she want?" I questioned my brother.
"She's coming to visit, she doesn't want us to be alone." He answered pulling onto the street. "She'll be here after school."
"Wow, short notice much?" I questioned, he nodded his head in agreement and the rest of the car ride was silent.
I love my Grandma, don't get me wrong, it's just that Zach and I have been living on our own ever since Dad left when we were 11, good riddance to him. The fact that Grandma is just now coming to help us, when we're practically adults, really kind of annoys me.
"Hey Megan," Cameron smiled as he approached my locker that day.
"Hey," I smiled back. "How was the rest of your weekend?"
"Good, you look nice today." He complimented.
"Thanks," I smiled at him.
"So Zach told me your Grandma's coming to stay?" I sighed and nodded. "Well if you ever need out of the house you have my number."
"Seriously, you'd come and pick me up?" I questioned, smiling he nodded his head.
"Thanks Cameron!" I grinned, happy to know I have an escape ready just in case.
"No problem, I have to go talk to the couch though, so I'll talk to you later."
"Alright bye," I grinned as I watched him walk away.
When I got home that afternoon everything seemed fine and dandy, however as the night dragged on things took a turn for the worst. Grandma brought up the accident, asked how I was doing and then asked how Cameron was doing. All that is fine but when she told me it was just better to get over him something in me snapped and I flipped out.
Zach pulled me out of the kitchen as I was kicking and screaming.
"You need to get out of the house, Megan." He told me. "You need to calm down, go and I'll stall for you."
With that he left the room, closing the door behind him. Sighing softly I pulled out my phone and dialed a number.
"Hello?" Cameron's deep voice questioned.
"Hey, can you come get me? I need out of the house, desperately." I pleaded softly, hoping my Grandmother wouldn't hear me on the phone as I locked the door.
"Yeah, I'll be right over."
"Thank you so much, just don't come to the door and park at the end of the block."
"Um, alright?" He said sounding unsure.
After I hung up I quickly grabbed my purse and waited on my bed for Cameron to text me. (outfit: .com/cgi/set?id=38076695)
"Megan, let me talk to you." She said knocking on the door.
"Grandma," Zach's voice spoke as I began to panic slightly. "I told you that she was going to shower than go right to bed. Just leave her alone for a while."
I breathed a sigh of relief and walked into my bathroom before turning on the shower just for dramatic effect. Cameron texted me fifteen minutes later so quietly I turned the water off and snuck out onto my deck.
I sent Zach a quick text telling him to get Grandma out of the kitchen. When he told the coast was clear I quickly went down the balcony stairs and moved toward the gate. Once I was outside the gate I ran toward Cameron's car that was park about three houses down.
"Hey," I breathed sliding into passenger seat, and shutting the door.
"Why are you sneaking out?" He questioned, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Just get out of here and I'll explain." I glanced at the clock and realized it was around 9 pm. As he pulled away from the curb I texted Zach telling him I was safely out of the house.
"So what happened between you and your grandma?" Cameron asked as we sat in ihop an hour later.
"We just got into an argument about the past," I said choosing my words carefully, I didn't want to say something to push him away.
"Why argue about it if it's in the past?"
I shrugged my shoulders lightly. "That's what I want to know. I want to move on but people just keep pulling me back to it."
"What is it exactly?" He questioned me, his green eyes staring at me as though he was trying to figure me out.
"It's in the past," I replied smoothly. "I just want to move on from it."
"Alright," He dropped the subject, something I've always loved about him. "But if you ever want to talk I'm here."
Smiling I nodded my head but I knew that I could never talk to him about this.
After we ate I wasn't ready to go home so Cameron and I went for a walk along the beach. It was pretty quiet until he slipped his hand in mine, interlocking our fingers together. I turned to smile at him, he returned the smile. As we continued to walk I moved closer to him laying my head on his shoulder. This was the way it used to be, the way I so desperately crave to go back to, I refuse to let this moment pass.
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into three months since my grandmother arrived. We learned to tolerate each other. Cameron and I began to hang out more and more on our own and the feelings that I used to feel slowly began to resurface in Cameron.
I was the happiest I've been in a long time. Cameron and I were always together in school and we talked all night long. He was the boy I fell in love with once again.
It's been five months since Cameron's accident and graduation is less than a week away.
"Hey!" I smiled at Cameron's Mom, Melissa, I walked to their house.
"Hello Megan," She grinned from where she was working in her garden. "Cameron's in the back sweetheart."
"Thanks," I smiled before walking around to the back gate. I found Cameron resting on the freshly cut grass next to the lawn mower.
"Is the wittle baby tired out?" I giggled as I walked toward him. He tilted his head in the direction of my voice and smirked.
"No it's just fucking hot out." He complained as I sat down on the grass beside him. "Ready to graduate?" He questioned.
"No," I shook my head. "We just took our last final yesterday."
"Which means it's time to move on." He said looking at me.
"What if I don't want to move on?"
"Well we all have sooner or later, and you can't choose later in this case." He smiled at me and then before I could register what was happening he leaned down and kissed me softly. I was shocked as I kissed him back, feeling the familiar sparks running through my veins.
(Cameron's POV)
When my lips touched hers my head began to whirl, and I felt as though I'd been here before feeling this exact same feeling. It scared me and I pulled away quickly, regretting it when I saw a look of hurt cross her face.
"Are you okay?" She questioned me, sounding sad.
"Huh?" I questioned her. "Oh yeah, I'm fine."
"A huh, sure you are." She said and I knew that she didn't believe me one bit.
"Really I'm fine," I answered before laying back down on the grass.
(Megan's POV)
I followed Cameron, laying down on the grass. We laid there in silence and as I thought about the kiss and everything that's past I was hit with way too many emotions. Tears welled in my eyes as I stared at the sky and no matter how hard I blinked they would not go away.
"Oh shit," Cameron said and through my blurred vision I could see him staring at me, worried. "Why are you crying?"
"It's nothing," I lied quickly and easily. "I just got hit with a bunch of random emotions." I got to my feet hiding my eyes I ran out of there.
"Megan!" Melissa called as I was about to escape back home. I stopped, because I didn't want to be rude. "I have something to show you, come inside dear."
Confused I wiped my eyes, ridding myself of any evidence of tears before following Cameron's mother into the house. She led me to her office and handed me an envelope with my name written on it.
"I found this in the pockets of his jeans that night. I didn't tell you because it wasn't the right time." She smiled softly.
Confused I opened the letter and read Cameron's scrawled handwriting.
Megan,
My beautiful girlfriend, whom I love very much. When we were younger I treated you horribly, I never believed you'd become the beautiful woman I'm in love with today. I started seeing it more and more as high school drug on. I'm sorry it took me until junior year to ask you out, you really should have been made from the very beginning. When I was a little boy I asked my Mom how her and Dad fell in love and she always said this:
"God made daddy and God made me and then he whispered meant to be." That's us, we were meant to be together from the very beginning. I want to be able to tell that to our children one day, I don't want that with anyone else. I know we're young and I know that there is still hell to go through in life but I want you by my side for all eternity Megan, so I want you to look up at me and hopefully whisper yes.
Look up beautiful.
Confused I looked up at her. "At this time he would have pulled this out." She handed a small box to me and I opened It to see the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. (.?GroupSKU=GRP10031#f+7/0/0/0/0/0)
"He told us about it," She whispered. "We helped pay for the ring. Look at the inscription."
Confused I did so. M&C meant to be.
I felt more tears well up in my eyes as I stared at Cameron's Mom. "When was he going to do this?"
"That night, he knew that you guys were really young but he loved you so much Megan, he knew you were the only one for him and he didn't want to wait any longer then he needed to." She explained. "I'm giving you this now because you have the right to know, and not only that but I want you to remember that you need to be patient with him again. He has to discover these feelings all over again."
"I will," I whispered not taking my eyes off the ring. "Can I keep this?"
"Of course," She smiled. "It was meant for you after all."
"He'll never remember that though," I whispered with tears rolling down my face. Tears filled Cameron's mother's eyes as she pulled me in for a tight hug.
"He may not remember it but he'll love you, trust me. The love that boy felt for you will not go away, no matter how horrible the accident was."
"You think so?" I questioned her as I held her tight, the only mother figure I have.
"I know so sweetheart." She whispered placing a kiss on my cheek and pulling away. "Why don't you go home and get some rest, you can talk to him tomorrow."
I nodded and hugged her once more before slipping the letter in my purse and walking out of the room, then out of the house.
As I walked home I held the ring in front of me and stared at it for a long time. I came to the conclusion that I would have said yes the moment I was able to, I want the exact same thing he did, no matter how young we are.
"I love you Cam," I whispered pressing a kiss to the ring and holding it tightly in my hand. I was going to have this moment for real again one day. It's like his mother said our kind of love doesn't just disappear.
It was the night before graduation when I got the phone call from Cameron. It'd been almost a week without hearing anything from him, which didn't surprise me because I knew things would be awkward between us. However I was a little surprised when my phone rang with his ring tone.
"Is that Cam?" Zach questioned me. I nodded and stood walking upstairs into my bedroom. As I walked down the hall I answered the phone..
"Hello?" I spoke into the phone opening my bedroom door.
"Hey," Cameron's quiet voice spoke into the phone. I felt my heart flutter at the sound of his voice. "How are you?"
"I've been okay, you?" I questioned.
"I've been fine." He grew quiet after that. "I was thinking," He spoke again. "About what happened that day in my backyard."
I was waiting to see how long it would take to bring that up. "Yeah, what about it?"
"We need to talk about it." He answered, and I heard the seriousness in his voice.
"Yeah," I agreed. "We do need to talk about it. So when do you want to?"
"What are you doing right now?" He questioned.
"Nothing." I answered. "Want to come pick me up?"
"Yeah," He agreed. "I'll be over soon."
"Alright," I answered and with e hung up. I quickly grabbed my purse, not carrying that I was just in sweats and a concert t-shirt.
I walked downstairs and sat back down on the couch next to my brother.
"Is he picking you up?" Zach questioned and I nodded my head. "Well looks like I'll be lonely."
"Call your girlfriend," I giggled referring to his girlfriend of a month, Ashlyn.
"Fine," He pretended to pout. "Maybe I will."
I giggled when my phone went off. I read the text and it was from Cameron saying he was leaving. Standing I grabbed my purse and walked out the door.
By the time I opened the front door Cameron was pulling into the driveway. Smiling slightly, even though I wasn't sure how this conversation would go, I made my way to his car.
"Hey," He greeted me as I closed the door and pulled on my seatbelt.
"Hi," I whispered.
As he pulled out of the driveway I stared at his profile, hoping that this time tomorrow I would once again be calling him mine.
We drove for a while and I noticed that we were going to the cliffs. Cameron and I would always go there when we needed to work out a fight.
When we reached them he parked his car and we both got out. We walked across the street and Cameron helped me climb up the rocks, which I thought was cute. When we finally reached a good one we both sat down.
"So," I said awkwardly as I looked at him.
"I'm in love with you Megan," He whispered.
There it was. The words I've longed to hear for months were once again leaving his mouth. However, they confused me.
"If you love me then why did you pull away like that?" I questioned him, suddenly becoming interested in my chipped nails.
"When I kissed you, I felt something weird." He answered.
"Weird how?" I questioned.
"I felt everything that proved to me I am in love with you." He began slowly, and I nodded my head urging him to continue. "But then something else happened, I felt something different."
"What do you mean?"
"Like it suddenly felt familiar to me, like I'd been in that exact place, feeling those exact same feelings. I don't know why I felt that way but I did, and when I was kissing you it scared me." He explained, I knew he'd never remember but when he said those words I couldn't help but get a glimmer of hope. "When I saw you crying, though, it broke me. I never wanted to see you cry again, it hurt me so much to see you like that."
"Then why didn't you come after me?" I questioned him, staring into his green eyes.
"Because, I was scared and I thought you needed some space." He explained reaching down and taking my hand in his, he gently rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. I felt tears well up in my eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I didn't want space, nor did I need space. I just wanted you to be there for me." I whispered bringing my free hand up to wipe my eyes.
"I'm always here for you Megan, I love you."
With that no more words were spoken as he leaned down and gently kissed my lips softly. I smiled against the kiss bringing my hands up and gently cupping his cheek as we kissed softly.
"I love you too." I whispered when we pulled away. He just smiled at me, pulled me close and placed a kiss on my forehead.
"I know present to you the graduating class of 2012." Our principal exclaimed into the microphone.
Zach and I grinned at each other before reaching to remove our caps and tossing them in the air with the rest of our class.
"We're free!" I squealed launching myself into Cameron's arm's after taking off my gown. (her outfit: .com/cgi/set-fans?id=38100457)
He laughed catching me in his arms and spinning me around, I continued to giggle loudly as Zach pulled Ashlyn into his arms.
"Congratulations," A dainty voice spoke causing all of us to freeze. "Darling, stand on your own two legs, no man needs to hold you up."
Cameron slowly let me slide back down onto the ground, no one's eyes moved from the way-too-plastic woman a few feet away from us.
"What are you doing here?" Zach asked, the first to speak. I knew I would not speak first; I have nothing to say to that woman.
"I came to see my children graduate. What harm is that?" She questioned me.
"The fact that you have not cared about us for eight years, that's what the harm is!" Zach exclaimed. I hated my Mother so much now that all I could do was cower into Cameron's side. "We don't want you here, so please leave."
"I don't have to listen to you." She answered, glaring at us.
"Nicolette what are you doing here?" Grandma questioned approaching us. "I thought I told you to leave these kids alone."
"I don't have to."
"No," Grandma agreed. "you don't have to, just like how I don't have to keep your neglect of these children a secret from authorities. Now it's up to them, either you leave them alone or I tell the police."
My Mother looked at me, her eyes wide. I knew that she was begging me to tell my Grandmother that I wanted my Mom in my life, but she was about to have a shock because I didn't want her in my life at all.
"Leave," I said firmly. "Stay out of our lives and leave."
Her facial expression turned to one of the most shocked expressions I had ever seen. I didn't watch her walk away because Cameron turned me toward him, holding me closely.
In the week that followed Cameron and I began to plan college life together while Zach struggled to say goodbye to Ashlyn, even if it was just for the summer.
"You know," She said as we stood outside the airport, about to go in. "I was scared to leave you here, I didn't know what you'd do without Cam but now I see that you'll be just fine."
I glanced back at my boyfriend before smiling at my best friend. "Yeah, I'll be fine."