I screamed as the tall brunette chased me around my house, trying to tickle me. "Alex, stop!" I cried, coming to a wall with no way out. He closed the space between us, grabbing my sides and tickling me. I screamed, thrashing around, smacking his hands away. He stopped, pulling me close to his chest, looking into my eyes before kissing me.

That's about the time I woke up.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I looked over at my clock. Six thirty in the morning. I stood up, fixing my shorts, and making my way to my bathroom to take a shower. I did my daily routine, showering, weighing myself, and cleaning my cuts. I looked closely at the number on the scale this morning. One hundred pounds. I sighed, looking down at my body. My stomach was flat, and I had a thigh gap, but my body was covered in scars and cuts. I closed my eyes, slipping on my black skinny jeans and a Rolling Stones tee. I grabbed an over-sized flannel and threw it on over my shirt, rolling the sleeves up to my elbows and leaving it unbuttoned.

I did my make-up, fixed my hair, and slipped on a purple beanie. I grabbed my combat boots and my backpack, heading downstairs. My brother, Travis, was waiting patiently at the kitchen counter, talking to our mother about something irrelevant. I coughed lightly, drawing attention to myself. "Ready to go?" Travis asked, standing up. I nodded, following him out to the car.

My brother was tall, and thin. He had black hair to his neck, and bright green eyes. He was your typical alternative guy, he wore skinny jeans and band t-shirts and wore vans and went to Warped Tour. He already had a few tattoos, and all of my friends swooned over him. I mean obviously I know that my brother is attractive, but I always got grossed out when my friends would talk about doing anything with him. That was just disgusting. "Why are you so quiet this morning, Ronnie?" He asked, unlocking the car door. I sighed, getting in the car.

"It's nothing, Trav." I mumbled, grabbing his iPod and picking out a Blink-182 song to listen to. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the seat as 'What Went Wrong' started playing. Trav sighed, pulling out of the driveway and making his way to the school. We were both seniors, but only because Travis had been held back in the 6th grade. He was a year older than me, making him 18.

"Is this about that one kid you're friends with...?" Travis paused for a moment, thinking. "Gaskarth, I think that's his name." I looked over at him, and he just smiled knowingly. "Don't be upset over him, Ronnie, he's just a stupid high school guy." Trav sighed, parking the car. I rolled my eyes, opening the car door and stepping out.

I heard someone call my name and turned to see my good friend, Kara, waving at me from her car a few parking spots away. I smiled and waved back, turning to look at Trav. "I'll see you later." I mumbled, walking over to Kara's car. She smiled at me, throwing her arms around me in a hug.

"Ronnie! How was your weekend?" Kara asked, smiling. I just nodded, looking down at my feet. Kara started to say something but was cut off by screaming. I looked up to see Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat, and Rian Dawson making their way over to us, screaming our names. "They're so embarrassing." Kara blushed, looking away from them. I laughed, nodding. I caught myself biting the inside of my lip, a nervous habit.

I sighed as the three boys got closer to us. Alex smiled and threw his arm around my shoulder, and I remembered what he had said two months ago. Just friends. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I opened my eyes when everyone started walking towards the school. Alex took his arm off of my shoulder, smiling that half-smile that made my heart melt. I bit my lip, following the others to the school.

Everyone knew something was up, no matter how hard Alex tried to act like nothing had changed. Jack gave me a sad smile, hooking his arm with mine. I leaned my head on his shoulder as we walked, sighing. "It's going to be okay, you know." Jack mumbled, only half tuned into our conversation. I just nodded, not believing him. "Stop doing that to me." He stopped walking, making me look at him. I furrowed my eyebrows together, confused.

"What?" I asked, biting the inside of my lip. Jack narrowed his eyes at me. "I don't know what you're talking about." I sighed, looking at the ground. I did know what he was talking about. I just didn't want to talk about it.

"Bullshit. You know damn well. Stop doing that quiet thing with me. I'm not your parents, or Travis, or Kara. I'm your best friend, fucking talk to me." Jack kept his voice firm, making me look at him. "I'm worried about you." His eyes darted to my wrists. Even though I hadn't cut there in a long time, I knew what he was talking about. "Not even that, I know you've stopped eating again." He whispered, giving me a sad look.

"So what?" I asked, looking away from him. "Look, I know you care, Jack. But don't worry about me. I'm a big girl and I can handle myself. Now, I have to go to class. I'll see you later." I rolled my eyes and walked off, not in the mood to deal with Jack's accusations. I didn't want to deal with them, because he was right to suspect me of doing those things. I couldn't remember the last time I had actually eaten a full meal. I was cutting at least once a week. I was getting out of control again. But this time I didn't care.

I walked into class a minute after the last bell rang. "Veronica, how nice of you to join us." Mrs. Griggs mumbled, glaring at me.

"It's Ronnie." I sighed, sitting down at my desk. "How many times do I have to tell you?" She rolled her eyes, getting class started. I got my phone out, texting Kara. I got a text from Alex. I sighed, opening it. I read it and replied. Jack texted me, and then Rian, and then Trav. The rest of my day was spent texting those five people and forcing my way through school. I was just ready for after school.

I tapped my pencil on my desk, waiting for the last bell of the day to ring. When it did, I stood up and made my way out into the hallway, immediately going to Kara's car in the parking lot. She was already there with the boys. Kara smiled at me, hugging me. "Hey pumpkin, you ready for tonight?" She smiled. She was always smiling.

"Hell yes." I nodded, getting out my phone. I checked through my messages. Nothing. I sighed and slipped my phone back in my pocket. I felt someone sling their arm around my shoulders and I turned to see Trav smiling next to me.

"So, what should I be telling mom and dad tonight?" Travis asked, nodding to the boys. They nodded back in response, and I saw Alex fidget nervously.

"I'm staying the night at Kara's." I answered, looking over at Kara. That wasn't entirely true. I was actually staying with Alex. His house was empty for the night, which is why the four of us, and our other friend, Zack, were planning on having a small get together. It would just be the five of us, and all the liquor in the Gaskarth home.

"Rad." Trav nodded, digging his keys out of his pocket. "Well, I gotta go. Be careful." He looked from me, to Alex, before leaving. Alex gave me a look, but shrugged it off. We all piled in Kara's car, heading to Alex's house.

Alex's house was big, and had plenty of extra rooms for everyone. We didn't waste any time with getting drunk. We went inside, put our things down, and starting raiding the liquor cabinets. After about an hour we were all fairly tipsy, and after a few more hours we were smashed. Kara and Rian were making out, while Jack was standing up and trying to be funny, but no one knew what he was saying because he was slurring his words so badly. Zack was sitting in his chair, smiling and laughing at Jack.

Alex grabbed my hand, pulling me up to his room. He shut the door behind us, turning to look at me. I knew what was going to happen before it did. It always happened like this. Alex would regret it in the morning and tell me that it meant nothing, that we were still just friends. But for now, this was all I had, so I was going to live it up while I still could.

hi you guys. So, yeah, it's been a long time since I've written anything, and I was in the mood to write so I came up with this. All for you little potatoes. Mwah. I love you guys. I hope you like it, if any of you even still read this shit.