Summary: "It was in the middle of all that, when Ino-oba-chan tried to seduce Neji-san."

-a-

Sometimes, Sarada would come and lay down next to Sakura in the middle of the night and ask her to tell her a story. Most of the times, she told her grand legends, tales of their past, the mistakes they didn't knew they were making, how they learned and how they loved. They weren't stories, as much as anecdotes, really. He always pretended he was asleep. He wasn't sure Sakura was fooled but she never asked, and so he never told.

But once in a while, maybe when she was too tired to spin a tale of heroism, she told their daughter the complete and utter disasters—he thought fondly—that were their genin days. She had a way about her when she was tired, that anything came out of her mouth at those times was unbelievably snarky, and unintentionally humorous.

It was on one of those days when Sarada came to her one night and made herself comfortable in her mothers arms—he envied her that easy camaraderie with their daughter. After a good while of snuggling, both of them sighed contentedly, and Sarada finally made her request, "Tell me a story, Mama."

There was a moment of silence, where Sakura gathered her thoughts and Sasuke pretended to be asleep and wondered which tale she would spin tonight.

"Hmm. It was the first Chunnin exams after we were made genin," she started. "Naturally Naruto-jiji and Papa had to participate. They were both stupid like that—"

"Still kind of are," Sarada interjected softly, arrogantly. Sasuke made a face when he heard Sakura laugh.

"Mhm. So, somehow, we passed the first part. But the second one was way harder. We had no idea what was going to happen in the field. They called it The Forest of Death."

"Sounds foreboding."

"I know, right. Ino-baa-chan and I weren't on very good terms back then, and Himawari-chan's uncle Neji was the best genin that year."

Sasuke wondered where she was going with this.

"Really? I thought Hokage-sama would've been the best genin. Or maybe Papa."

"Hmm. I told you they were stupid, back when."

"Okay." There was smile in Sarada's voice.

On the other side of the bed, Sasuke quietly bristled. It was a very stupid he, who used to save both her and Naruto, back in those days. Oh how the mighty had fallen.

"Anyway, the forest was full of all kinds of horrors: giant snakes, huge ass trees-" Sasuke silently lamented the loss of his daughters innocent ears "—and every blood thirsty genin in the five nations. We were all sort of way over our heads. There were these two scrolls you had to collect; one you had, one you had to take from somebody else. It was in the middle of all that, when Ino-oba-chan tried to seduce Neji-san." There was a wry, amused smile in her voice now and Sasuke's mind had gone blank the moment she'd used the word 'seduce'. Of all the things, this was what she was telling Sarada.

There was a soft giggle. "Did she?"

Sakura laughed then. "Oh honey, you can't imagine the kind of disaster that was. She and her team were hiding in the bushes when Neji-san found them. And I already told you we were all sort of in deep shit back when. So, arrogant as she was, their plan was to dazzle him with her beauty—"

"And Shikadai's dad let her do it?" Sarada asked incredulously. "I thought he was smart!"

Sakura laughed. "I know. I guess they were all kind of scared of him. To be honest, I would've done something stupid too, if I were in their place. But get this, when he wasn't the least bit fazed, even when Ino all but threw herself at him; she flung her hair and winked and flailed and it was a freakshow really, they started kissing his ass, asked for his autograph and all but twinkled at him."

Sarada giggled into her shirt. "What happened next?"

"Nothing. Neji-san declared them useless clowns. Said, even if he did take a scroll from them, everyone would laugh at him for it. Told them to run away."

"And they did?"

"Like the hounds of hell were on their heels." Sakura laughed.

Sarada laughed again.

Dimly, Sasuke wondered how she even knew that. Weren't they all in their own personal hell at that time? As if she were reading his thoughts, Sarada asked, "What about you guys? Did something funny happen to you?"

"Yeah, it was funny alright," Sakura answered wryly. "But that is a story for another time. Go back to sleep, sweetheart."

"Okay."

Sasuke listened as Sarada kissed her mother goodnight and went back to her room again. As he drifted back to sleep, he wondered how Yamanaka would react, if she knew that the sordid tale of her first seduction was being told to little children.

-a-

The next day, while he was helping Sakura with breakfast, he couldn't help himself and asked. "Did you make that up, last night? About Yamanaka?"

She stomped on his foot without batting a lash. He grit his teeth and scowled at her. "Of course not. She told me."

He could only gape as she kissed him on the cheek and went on with business.

-a-

i wanted it to be funny. its not. meh.