Unspoken
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- None
Pairing:- Sandra/Gerry
Rating:- T
Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/
Summary:- One day they may be able to fully express how dependant they truly are on each other but until then they will settle for what they have and revel in it even if it must remain forever unspoken.
Author's Note:- Based on Beth's two photos challenge. First third based on the first, second third based on the second last third based on the results of the first two thirds. Not sure that makes any sense but hopefully it will when you read it! Enjoy and reviews would be lovely!
Staring at her the winter white of the elegant jacket she was wearing bringing out the alabaster perfection of her skin he felt his heart race and the desire to remind her how much she affected him even when she was being less than complimentary about is working style. He'd thought "pretending" to be a couple would be easy, after all they spend all their time pretending not to be one to actually be able to express how he felt in some small way should have been easy. It wasn't. right now he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her in a way that would make their story all the more plausible to the jeweller's assistant standing behind them waiting to discuss the "pretend" engagement ring they were supposedly there to shop for. He knew she'd not stand for it though, her reaction to a simple peck on the cheek before they came in was enough to tell him that.
Eyes locked and she knew what he wanted to do, she knew because they always knew what each other was thinking, the absurdity of a couple who spend their lives pretending to the outside world that they weren't having to pretend that they were was laughable but she knew it would be too easy to get carried away. How they could fall too easily into habits that they had worked hard not to establish in their working relationship and she wasn't prepared to let that happen. Not when they had come so far and made things work so well. Smiling she hoped he got the message that he could see that she knew what he wanted and would be more than prepared to give it to him once they were away from the glare of public scrutiny. For now that would have to do, he'd have to trust her assurances even though as so often was the case they had to remain unspoken.
She can feel his eyes boring into her neck, the week has been stressful, the case too close to home and she just wants it to be over but she knows he won't let it drop. He's been here before when she has been thrown too close to things she'd rather not confront about her father and he knows how she can close off, he swore last time it would never happen again, that he make her see he was there for her that she could trust him but it doesn't lessen her desire to retreat.
If it was possible to smell the tension in the woman you love he would be doing it right now, it's radiating from her as clearly as the soft scent of her perfume and the hint of peppermint from her shampoo. He knows that in refusing to meet his eyes she's telling him she's not ready, that she doesn't want to talk about it, that she's dealing with it in her own way but he's not prepared to accept that. They may not be in a position to do anything about it right now but when they were he would hold her and let her cry or stand strong against the frustrated barrage of her anger because that's what you do when you love someone. He'd learned over the years that the things she said rarely matched what she was thinking and he'd learned to read between the lines and take the unspoken cues in her actions. This would be no different, she may never say she needed him, it may be the one final step she refused to take but he knew it was how it was. He knew that what she didn't say was more important than what she did when she was hurting because of something she had no control over and a past she couldn't change and he would take her unspoken instruction and ignore it just like she knew he would.
The soft music in the room forms the soundtrack to what they both know they need. So much of their lives, so much of their relationship, is spend hiding. Hiding from the outside world, from the possible disapproval of others that when they have these times; these moments when they can truly be themselves they don't need words. They don't need to tell each other what they feel or how happy they are that they can be together. It goes without saying. A look says I love you, a touch says I need you, a whispered moan or gasp says I want you. In a relationship that survives on what can't be said rather than what can everything is important, every glance matters and they have become expert at the language they have perfected between them.
"I love you." The words whispered in a darkened room as passion laced exhaustion claims them seal their fate for another while. One day they may be able to fully express how dependant they truly are on each other but until then they will settle for what they have and revel in it even if it must remain forever unspoken.