Hiya!

I was supposed to post this on my birthday (Jan 5th) but due to the celebrations I had to take a break from writing it and then I got busy. ;_;

I managed to sit down and finish the ending of the chapter today so I finally get to post it! *throws confetti*

I got this idea like last weekish? And I loveddddd the concept so much I started working on it right away. I guess I'm in the mood for humor nowadays as I posted "The Future Is Our Present" a little while back (I will be updating that and other fics soon btw!) and now this one too is intended to be a funny Sam/Scam fic.

Anyway enough with my blabbering! On with the story!

Disclaimer: NO.

Enjoy! I hope…

"Oh no! Absolutely not! I am NOT going to agree to do this!"

Jerry sighed heavily as he tried to reason with his favourite agent even though she wasn't even trying to listen to him in the slightest.

"Please Sam!" Jerry said, holding up his hands up as if asking her to hear him out before she completely turned down his plan flat. Looking at her with serious eyes as she stood there before him fuming he tried again this time in a more stern voice as if to remind her that he was her boss and that her attention was mandatory.

"I have thought this through very carefully. Unfortunately we're out of options. We've tried every which way under the sun to keep him locked up but he just keeps getting out-"

"So your brilliant plan to try and stop TIM SCAM from getting out is turning me into his…his…" her nostrils flared as she thought of the right words. "Personal prison warden?!" Sam hollered shaking now at the sheer stupidity of this idea. How had Jerry come up with something so dumb anyway? She would just love to know.

Looking at Jerry incredulously she spoke again, her voice loud and her tone sounding thoroughly offended as she pointed to herself. "Why Jer?!" she screamed wanting answers and wanting them now. "Of all the agents at WOOHP …Why me?!"

"You were selected by WOOHP's board of directors and myself for a couple of key reasons," Jerry explained. "First off, your are the top spy at WOOHP and have been for years," he started and Sam wanted to just kick herself for her spotless record right now.

"Secondly, you have previously been in a situation where you have handled a criminal on your own without your partners," he continued and as much as she wanted to Sam knew she couldn't argue with that either as she had been the one who had been given the Jazz Hands secret mission and for the most part had performed well on it.

"Third, you have common traits you share with Scam that make you an ideal match for combating him. Such as a high IQ level, the ability to think on your feet in potentially life threatening situations, and being inventive when it comes to problem-solving. Additionally your track record specifically pertaining to your actual encounters with him proves that you are capable of taking him on," he said and Sam wondered if Jerry was just buttering her up now by saying that just because she had survived dealing with him in the past with her spy trio that, that meant she could take him, their most dangerous foe on alone before remembering in the back of her mind how even though Clover, Alex, and her had tackled him as a group it was usually her that ultimately unraveled his plans.

Her mind flickered back to one such mission a few years ago when he had tried to use their mothers in a plot to kill them. It had been her who had un-hypnotized them and shut him down when he had almost made his escape.

"And lastly, the fact that you are currently living alone instead of sharing a living space with family like Alex …" he said referencing the fact that Alex hadn't been able to say no when her parents had purchased a home in Los Angles and asked her to live with them while she figured out life after college so that they could be together more to make up for all the time they had been away throughout her high school and college years, while her own entire family was either back home in Ireland or living in Paris like her father was while dealing with business and she was here pretending to be having a rising career in journalism now that she had graduated college while in reality, actually being a full time secret spy.

"And or with a significant other like Clover," he mentioned and Sam knew he was right again. Clover had moved into Blaine's place the moment he had proposed to her and they were on their way to becoming husband and wife which was what had left her alone in the villa that had once been occupied by both her best friends along with herself.

So what it boiled down to then was basically the fact that she was a loner and that was why she was going to be stuck with Tim Scam. Great, just great.

"Still Jerry, I do not want to and will not be persuaded into doing this!" she said determinedly leaving Jerry to frown at her lack of cooperation.

"Please Sam … " he said although his voice made it clear that he was starting to lose his patience with her. "We need to do this. You have no idea how much of a strain his constant escapes put on WOOHP's resources and reputation, nor how much unnecessary stress it adds to running an already difficult to manage agency."

"Oh I have no idea?!" Sam raged, glaring at Jerry hotly as he sat there pretending like she was clueless about how much of a pain in the ass Tim Scam was and had been since forever now. Wasn't it her and her friends who were always being sent after him as Jerry shooed them off while sitting comfortably in his office as he waited for them to bring Scam back to WOOHP's prison?! Pissed beyond words, Sam voiced her thought. "How many times have Clover, Alex, and I been yanked out of our lives just to recapture Scam, Jer?! I think we've all lost count!"

"Well…" Jerry said making direct eye contact with her as he looked at with questioning eyes. "Wouldn't you like that to end? To never have it happen again? To be the one, the hero responsible for making it all go away?"

Sam's mouth closed for a long while as she dwelt on his words knowing it would be a blessing to never have to deal with Scam again because she could not stand that man but … this job would require her to have him with her twenty-four seven for a month. A whole entire month of being stuck with Tim freaking Scam and with no one to even suffer through the thirty-one, long days with.

"Still…" she said again frowning unhappily. "I don't want to deal with him. It's not fair," she mumbled knowing that it wasn't. Just because she was supposedly qualified to do it, it didn't make it valid for WOOHP to expect her to do it.

"What exactly have I done to deserve this?!" she asked sourly as she stood there looking at Jerry with upset eyes still wondering how he could do this to her.

"This isn't a punishment Sam," Jerry stated calmly before gesturing to the couch behind her and asking her to have a seat as they discussed this further. "Please calm down and allow me to explain."

Letting out a loud huff Sam stiffly sat back down on the uncomfortable red couch in Jerry's office, the same that she, Clover, and Alex had sprung up from immediately when he told them his reason for summoning them together today.

A new mission, he'd said. A solo project which only one of them had been selected for, and he wanted to inform them all of so that they were all on the same page and there would be no surprises when one of them was unavailable for missions for the next while, (something which this special case would require) he'd said.

And she had been somewhat enthusiastic about that when he'd informed her that it was once again her who had been trusted with this new task. But that enthusiasm had only lasted as long as he had revealed to her just what or who her assignment was.

And that revelation had sent all three of them reeling and screeching and yelling at Jerry all at once demanding for him to answer to them if he had fully lost his senile mind with what he was requesting for her to do.

And after trying to defend himself against all three of them attacking him endlessly he had given up and asked Clover and Alex to kindly wait outside while he tried to reason with her alone, obviously hoping to be able to be cajole her if he was dealing with just her instead of all three of them.

Well he wasn't about to get his way. No this time!

"That's exactly what it is!" Sam shrieked outraged that Jerry could not see this for himself. How could he even think that this farfetched idea of his, to make her…her baby-sit! Him of all men, of all criminals was anything less than punishment?! Than torture?!

But Jerry remained unphased as he conversed with her. "No it is not a punishment, it's a solution." Leaning his elbows on his desk he leaned forward a bit with a tired expression that made the many wrinkles on his old face from age and stress more apparent as he continued. "After years of frustration WOOHP has finally decided to deal with this pressing matter by eliminating its source."

A small, exhausted sound left him as he went on. "As much as it pains me to admit this, WOOHP's prison security system has flaws. Glaring flaws that Tim Scam is exceedingly talented at exploiting. Breaking out of WOOHP's supposed top notch holding facility is child's play for him and there is … a reason for that."

"You mean besides him being a conniving, manipulating fiend? " Sam asked, hands on her hips and her posture alert as she thought of the infuriating criminal in question whose mind was as sharp as a Tungsten needle and worked like a relentless, well-oiled doomsday machine always ready like a ticking time bomb at any second to go off and cause havoc.

To say that he was the most nefarious, most challenging villain she or her friends had ever faced was a massive understatement to his endlessly shady talents. After all the man was easily the equivalent of ten villains put together.

Well judging by most of the crazy loons they faced that were really not a threat to anyone but their own sanity … more like a hundred.

"Yes but aside from that…" Jerry started pulling her attention back to him again and her eyebrows rose at how quiet his voice was right now, as if he was about to let her in on some big secret. And when he said his next words Sam was left stunned in shock.

"…Scam once had heavy input on WOOHP's security mainframe."

"What?!" Sam screamed with her green eyes bulging from her sockets as she realized what Jerry was meaning to imply with that information that Scam having had input once back in the day was what allowed him to break out with ease to this day.

"And you haven't updated it since?!" she asked lost as to what kind of morons worked at WOOHP. Changing everything that Scam had had a say in should have been the very first thing that should have been done to defend the agency! Instead they had just handed him an advantage? Given a man like Scam who didn't even need an advantage an unfair one to utilize? Why?!

Unable to help but sigh again at Sam yelling at him, Jerry didn't know how to explain this. As much of an oversight as this seemed like to her now, it wasn't like Tim Scam had handed them some kind of courteous notice of resignation to announce to them that he was now a "bad guy" and no longer on their side so that they could prepare and get rid of his contributions so that he couldn't use them for his own gains later.

It had been a huge shock and loss to WOOHP when he had gone rogue and their first concern had been to get him on lockdown not reverse his past work as an agent (something there was a lot more of than he was sure Sam would believe if he told her). But they had never been able to successfully keep him locked up for long which was the exact reason why…

"We have made some changes to it but not in the way that is should be to stop a man like Scam," Jerry muttered grimly as he thought of his once agent who was tenacious as hell.

Which is why he wanted to do this now before he lost more agents, more resources, and more of the few precious remaining strands of gray hair on his nearly bald head from anymore stress at the hands of that man.

"We have mostly done patch ups to the system but it's not nearly enough. As long as there is even a modicum of Scam's blueprint in use, he will find a way to take advantage of it." Yet another sigh left him heavily as he tried to explain the plan to Sam and hopefully get her on board with it. "So in order to stop him once and for all we have to go back to the drawing board and develop a truly escape-proof system. Something even Tim Scam can't free himself from."

"An escape-proof cell for Tim Scam …" Sam thought as she listened to Jerry in silence. "This I have to see."

She didn't want to bog down Jerry's optimism for this approach but after years and years of arresting Scam for breaking out she honestly didn't think it was possible to have a cell made that he could not somehow get out of. He was pretty much Houdini reincarnated in that department. And the gingerbread man in the form of a human when it came to running away… only even more efficient because it seemed nothing could kill him either.

"And it won't even be just him that we can stop with this plan…" Jerry said as he tried to motivate Sam further to agree to this, because she was now quietly listening instead of shouting her disapproval which led him to believe that he had somehow gotten her interest. "If we can create a prison capable of holding Scam back then that pretty much guarantees that no other criminal will be able to escape from it either." Smiling at her now Jerry went on.

"Think about how much easier things would be if you never again had to recapture any villain that you had arrested prior? It would cut your workload in half and you would have so much more free time away from your spy duties," he said knowing this would appeal to her and Clover, and Alex who were always complaining about how much he continually pulled them out of their lives as young adult women to save the world from said criminals.

Listening to him with beady eyes, Sam knew what Jerry was trying to do here. He was trying to get her to relent and give in by giving her an incentive, by promising her and her friends more time away from WOOHP, something that he knew they were always desperate for.

But she highly suspected that even if she did do this and they did somehow manage to put an end to Scam's shenanigans, that he would make good on his promise. He would most likely just tack on extra missions on them like the complete killjoy that he was but…

If WOOHP did find a way to stop criminals that they arrested from getting out again … that really would benefit WOOHP and the world. Heck even if they could somehow stop just Tim Scam from being able to commit evil that would take a huge burden off of them…

Feeling her resolve breaking down Sam bit her lip in thought. She still really didn't want to contend with Scam but out of all the agents, WOOHP had called on her to help, had thought her capable of doing this …. Would it be right of her to say no and let WOOHP, let Jerry down?

Reading her face as she sat there squirming slightly Jerry could not help but privately smirk to himself knowing that Sam was deliberating the plan now instead of simply refusing it. This was exactly why he had wanted to talk to her alone because she was more logical and mature than the others and if called upon for doing something for the benefit of the agency then between the three of them, she'd be the one most likely to do it.

And then he decided to sweeten the deal for her. To give her something to reward her and her friends because he knew there would be backlash once they heard she had given in especially for nothing in return but praise.

"If you agree to do this, not only will you not be going on any missions during the time period you are watching Scam but …. WOOHP will award you with a one month vacation as a thank you."

Sam's eyes couldn't help but widen when she heard that latest offer and now she was sure Jerry was ready to do anything to get her to say yes. WOOHP had never allowed any agent a vacation or any time "off" unless it was a secret testing mission in disguise. But here he was offering her a full month away to make up for the month she'd be spending with Tim Scam.

"And…" Jerry added further. "We will happily pay for it too. All expenses paid, no exceptions in a tropical paradise of your choosing." Looking at her with almost puppy dog eyes now (which honestly looked comical on a dignified person such as himself) Jerry practically begged her.

"Just please do this for WOOHP? Please? Please?!"

"…"

"…Fine," she said slowly after a long moment of silence, closing her eyes in agony because she knew she would regret this. But try as she might she just could not bear to see Jerry, a man she saw as a second father beg her for something and then have the heart to say no. Even if she so desperately wanted to.

Clapping his hands together Jerry grinned at her immediately any trace of tension on his face rapidly fading away. "Excellent! Oh I knew you'd agree!"

And Sam tried to make herself feel better about this by taking in how happy he looked. But she knew, she just knew she had just signed up for complete and total chaos that no amount of time off would ever fully make up for. She bit her cheek and shook her head to herself as if chastising herself for her own "do-goody" nature. The things she did for the good of the world, really.

"So how is this whole thing going to work," she said getting right to the point. The faster they started this, the faster it would end. "Please tell me you have it all planned out."

"Indeed we do," Jerry said cheerfully. "We thought it would be the most convenient for everyone involved, especially yourself if we had Scam move into the villa with you instead of moving you with him to some remote location to use as the stetting for the house arrest seeing that the villa is already installed with WOOHP access and some WOOHP security and so would require minimal set-up to transform it for use for this mission."

"So…I'll basically be living with Tim Scam?" Sam said slowly, trying her best to not sound as horrified as she felt at that thought. "But how is just me watching him gonna keep him from running away until his cell is prepared?"

"Well we figure if we have an agent…" he paused smiling at her widely. "Our best agent, keeping an eye on him at all times instead of just a guard, watching and living with him in his cell so to speak, that he won't get the opportunity to even plan an escape let alone pull it off."

Sam slowly nodded her head knowing the reasoning made sense. As much of an evil mastermind that Scam was, even he would have a hard time pulling something if he was being guarded every second of every day until his permanent prison was prepared. So essentially all she had to do was wait out this month with him and then they all, and especially she would be free of Tim Scam forever …

Hopefully.

"He got you to agree … didn't he?" Clover and Alex said in unison as soon as they saw her, being able to tell with just one look at her face.

Sam sighed before answering them even though they already knew. "Yes but … I did it for the greater good."

Placing her hand on Sam's shoulder Clover shook her head slightly as she looked at her best friend in awe. Sam was seriously too good for her own good sometimes.

"I admire you Sammie, I really do. But I do not envy you. I mean seriously? An entire month with Tim Scam?" Her face screwed itself up as if she was going to throw up right then and there. "That's gotta be what being in hell must feel like."

Sam could only nod her head in response knowing it was true. This month was going to be a complete and total pain to get through but as much as it would suck it would eventually come to an end. And the outcome would be worth it.

"But at least there are no missions for me while I cope with Scam so there is that …" she said trying to be optimistic. "And Jerry said he'll give me one month of paid vacation time afterwards as a thank you gift."

Her eyes lighting up at that last part, Clover looked at Sam with new interest. "Whoa! A whole month off of WOOHP anddddd it's gonna be paid for?!"

Drool could now be seen almost dripping out of her mouth at the thought of no spy duties for an entire month. All the fun Blaine and her could have without being sent off on random missions for that much time. The thought of it made her bubble in excitement.

"You know this deal is kinda starting to sound good!" she giggled.

"Um Clover … Sammie's gonna be stuck with Tim Scam for a month," Alex said immediately deflating Clover's happy smile right off her face as if someone had abruptly popped a balloon full to the brim with air with a sharp, pointy needle.

Clearing her throat Clover blushed in a sheepish way. "Right," she said calming down immediately as she was reminded of the heavy price Sam was paying for this eventual vacation. "Good luck Sammie," she mumbled regarding the redhead with eyes that just screamed that she thought this whole thing was a bad idea.

"Thanks…" Sam sighed, biting her cheek hard as she tried to wrap her head around what she knew her life would be like for the next while, just as Clover had said it would be: HELL.

"I'm sooo gonna need it…."

1 week later

Scam was supposed to arrive any moment now, that was what Jerry had told her over her X-powder just five minutes ago.

Over the last week, everything had been prepared for his stay. Each and every room of the villa now had a separate electronic lock with an entirely different code (they had figured that if Scam did try to hack into them then it would harder for him to have to figure the password for each one instead of just deal with one master password) that only she had been given access to. This had been done in case Scam had to be physically restrained.

All the rooms in the villa now also had cameras for surveillance save for the bathroom and the bedroom. She had the option to turn the surveillance on and off for her own privacy's sake but she had strictly been recommended not to do that unless she absolutely had to, and that if she did choose to turn it off for whatever reason then to at least do it discreetly to hide that fact from Scam that he was no longer being watched so that he wouldn't get up to any mischief.

And lastly an emergency alarm system had been set up in case things got out of hand in a way that she couldn't diffuse the situation and she needed immediate help from Jerry and WOOHP's security offers in dealing with Tim Scam.

And while the additions were supposed to make her feel more safe and sound and willing to do this … she oddly found that all they really did was make her more even nervous.

The reality had truly set in now of what this, all of this meant.

Her home was now literally a prison and while theoretically she was going to being the guardian of it, she was fundamentally going to be kept prisoner in it too with her worst enemy: Tim Scam.

A dry gulp went down her throat and a shudder couldn't help but float down her spine as she thought of the ruthless man that he was and suddenly she felt suffocated at the thought of sharing her premises with him. And then she found herself wondering if she should just contact Jerry and call this whole thing off.

Just say that she had changed her mind and that he should find someone else or abort the whole ridiculous idea altogether.

But at the same second that she had that thought, the doorbell sounded and she knew it was too late.

Letting out a loud groan Sam walked over to the door in slow steps before asking who it was. When the voice of an agent informed her that they were here to "drop off the prisoner" she reluctantly unlocked the door for them.

There in her doorway now appeared two bulky, WOOHP agents dressed in black and white and each holding Tim Scam by the elbow of his that was closest to them as he stood there in between the two officers dressed in the standard, hideous, bright orange WOOHP prison jumpsuit, his handcuffed hands holding onto the handle of a large suitcase and carrying it with ease within his muscular arms, and his sea foam eyes twinkling with amusement while the left side of his lip was twisted upwards smirking that damn, infamous smirk of his as he stared back at her silently.

"Yup ... classic Tim Scam," Sam thought already feeling a headache coming on even though he hadn't even opened up his mouth and said a single word to her yet. Because that wicked expression on his face already said more than enough.

A moment later the guards wordlessly pushed him inside towards her with a small shove forward. Looking back to her, they both gave her a little nod as a greeting before turning on their heels and walking away leaving the door to close behind them and leaving her and Scam completely alone in the foyer of her villa.

Hearing the door lock click shut into place Sam just stood there for a long moment not even moving a muscle. The awkward silence between her and her sworn enemy was so deafening that she couldn't even hear Scam or herself breathing.

But she could feel his eyes fixed on her unblinkingly and the rush of her own heartbeat pounding hard and fast inside the confines of her chest.

Deciding to break the silence between Scam and her because it had to be done at some point and lay down the necessary ground rules of this temporary living arrangement, Sam took a deep breath in, preparing herself to do this but the sound of Scam's sudden, low chuckle cut her off before she even spoke.

And then instead of her getting to say anything, he spoke to her in a clearly teasing and thoroughly amused manner.

"Hey roomie…" he said in his signature dark, lazy, husky drawl forcing her eyes to look at his face. And when she did she noticed that the smirk on his face was still there… but it was now bigger. A lot bigger.

"So…where do I sleep?"

Saying nothing Sam just stared at him while feeling her blood pressure already start to spike and she knew right then and there that this …

Was going to be a long month.

Not so much humor yet I know or Sam/Scam action haha, but I had to set up the foundation for the story. :D I hope some parts of this were still somewhat funny though!

I absolutely LOVE the idea of Sam/Scam living together so that's kinda where this came from lol.

So shall I continue? What do you think so far? I'd love to know! It will def get funnier if I write more, I promise lol. :D Please leave me a review or a fav/follow if you read this and liked it so that I know where to go with this or IF I should go anywhere with this!

Thank you!

Loveeeeeeee,

Cresenta's Lark :D