Nothing is Right When You're Pretend
Starts before Regional junior year and Rachel and Quinn supposed to write an original song together. What happens when Rachel reveals a little more than she means to?
A/N: Some of this story will follow Cannon but mostly just in some of the events that happened, not exactly how they happened. It is my AU on how I see things going from this point in the show.
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Glee or any of it characters.
I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine.
Chapter one
Rachel walked down the hall heading to the auditorium to meet Quinn to work on their song for Regionals. Lost in thought, she couldn't get what she had seen in the hall out of her head. This couldn't be happening, they couldn't be back together after all she did to keep them apart. She needed to know for sure if it was true or if she was making it up in her mind. Deciding to just come right out and ask, she entered the auditorium stage and found Quinn already at the piano.
Quinn looked up at her as she approached. "You're late."
She wanted to get it out of the way so she just came out with it. "We're friends right?"
Quinn just looked at her softly. "Yea, I guess so."
"I mean everything that happened last year and when you gave your baby to my mom; we kind of bonded over that right?"
"What's your point Rachel?"
"My point is that I know we don't spend a lot of time together, but I thought that we were close enough that we can be honest with each other."
Quinn sighed. "Go ahead and just ask me."
Rachel looked down for a moment then looked into her eyes. "Are you and Finn back together?"
"Yes, for a couple of weeks now. It's like ground hogs day with you Rachel, how many times do you have to make the same mistake to realize it's not going to work out?"
Rachel's heart dropped into her stomach and the air left her lungs. "Thank you for being honest with me Quinn but don't go rewriting history. He's not really into you for the right reasons. I mean he chose me over you before."
"How long did that last for?" She bit back harshly.
Rachel sighed, "You don't have to be mean, I just…"
Quinn stood and walked over to her cutting her off. "Do you want to know how this story plays out? I get Finn and you get heartbroken. Finn and I stay here and start a family." She paused, tears gathering in her eyes. "I become a successful real estate agent and Finn will take over Burt's tire shop. You don't belong here Rachel and you can't hate me for helping to send you on your way."
Rachel shook her head and spoke more to herself. "I'm not giving up, this isn't over."
Quinn slammed her hand on the piano getting more upset. "Yes it is, you're so frustrating. This is why you can't write a good song because you live in this school girl's fantasy. If you keep looking for that happy ending with Finn, you are never going to get it right. That's that so let's just return to our work."
"You just don't get it. You never have. I'm not concerned with Finn. All I care about is you. You need to stop living in this screwed up reality you have created for yourself. Damn it Quinn, you are worth so much more then settling for this backwards town and not finding your own dream away from here. I don't give a damn about Finn but you need to get out of this repressed town and live your own life and not the cookie cutter life your parents have set out for you."
Quinn just sat there stunned at her words and Rachel took a deep breath. "You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. You can have an amazing life outside of this fishbowl of a town. You need to stop settling for a boy whose main concern in life is his image, getting laid and has no goals for his own life.
Rachel shook her head and places her hands on the piano. "Don't you see? You need to stop selling yourself short and believe in yourself the way I believe in you. You can do so much better than him Quinn. You could go to school in the New York, become a successful lawyer, doctor, actress or whatever you set your mind to. Find someone who is worthy of you and that can love you for the amazing person that I know you are. That sure as hell isn't Finn Hudson. That boy is not good enough for me and he's definitely not good enough for you."
Rachel takes a moment to compose herself then gathered her things. "I think I'm going to write this song on my own." She turns and exits the stage quickly.
Quinn watches her leave speechless at the impassioned speech that just fell out of Rachel's mouth. Shaking herself out of her daze she looks down as tears start to fall. No one has ever said anything like that to her before. Rachel believed in her. After all that she had put the girl through the last few years, she still saw only the good in her. It was overwhelming.
After a moment she wiped her eyes and shook her head. She couldn't afford to let Rachel's words affect her. She needed to stay strong or run the risk of losing everything again. Once fully composed she ran her hands along the piano keys. She would need to keep her distance from Rachel. She couldn't be tempted to be weakened by her. No matter the feeling coursing through her at Rachel's words. She had to stay strong.
Once home, Rachel found the house empty, but it was always empty. Her fathers were rarely home. Always away on business, sometimes not returning for months at a time. She trudged up the stairs to her room and laid on her stomach on the bed with her notebook in front of her and her portable keyboard next to her.
She wrote down everything that was pouring out of her through tear filled eyes. How could she be so stupid to unload all of that on Quinn? She never meant to reveal that much to the blonde. The girl barely tolerated her and didn't need any further ammunition against her.
She had successfully kept her feelings hidden for years and by extension her sexuality. Dating Finn was just a means to an end and further solidified what people would think of her. It wasn't that she was ashamed to be a lesbian. It was just that people had enough to bully her about and she wasn't about to add fuel to the fire when there was nothing positive for her in it. She couldn't have who she wanted, so coming out was pointless. She could only hope that Quinn would take what she said as a friend being concerned.
She finally stopped writing and sat up bringing the keyboard into her lap. She sang the words while adding music to them and writing it on a blank music sheet. Once finished, she sat and sang the completed song with music and smiled. This would definitely the best song she had ever composed and she was sure it could be better with a little added music. Drums, guitar, maybe a violin or two. She could hear it in her head; she just didn't know how to make it happen. She needed help.
Getting up, she walked over to her bag that she had dropped on the floor and took out her phone. She scrolled through her contacts and debated for a moment as to whether calling her would be a wise choice. She knew that they weren't friends exactly, but they were no longer enemies either.
She pressed send, figuring the worst that could happen was being told no. On the third ring the call was answered. "Look Hobbit, I don't know why your calling me, but it better be damn good."
Rachel sighed. "Santana I apologize for disturbing your evening, but I really need your help."
Santana was silent for so long Rachel thought she may have hung up, but then she finally answered. "Just because of what happened the other day, doesn't mean you can just call and ask for help anytime you want."
Rachel wiped the tears that had never fully stopped. "I wasn't even thinking about that. I just know that you are good at music mixing and I just finished a song I think may work for the solo and I need help with the music arrangement. All I have worked out is the piano for it and it needs more. I know you're the best with this, that's why I called."
Santana scoffed. "Please tell me you didn't write a song about your skirts this time, and I thought you and Quinn were working on this together."
Rachel sniffed. "That didn't work out and no it's not about my clothing. Please Santana, you can listen to what I have and if you don't like it, you can just leave. But, I really think I have something here."
San sighed. "Fine, but if I am working I expect food. I wants pepperoni pizza and mountain dew. Order it." With that she hung up.
Rachel deflated into her desk chair and worked to calm herself. After a moment she called for the pizza order to be delivered and gathered her things to go downstairs to the piano in the den.
Once she hung up the phone, she leaned back into her bed for a moment. She could tell that the Diva had been crying and hated that it affected her. Rachel was still a sore spot with her after last Friday, and she really didn't want to get into a conversation about any on that.
*Flashback*
Santana sat in the back of the auditorium on the floor crying after leaving Brittany in the hall. She had just poured her damn heart out to the girl and had it shoved back into her face. She couldn't believe that after all that they had shared and Britt pushing her to own up to her feelings that the blonde refused her. Her heart was breaking, and all she could do was sob out her agony after collapsing to the floor.
Rachel had not been spying, she just happened to be at her locker across the hall from Brittany when it happened. She heard what Santana had finally admitted to the girl and was happy for them. Then Brittany had surprisingly told her they couldn't be together. Rachel's heart broke for the devastated look on Santana's face as she ran away from the situation.
Rachel followed just to make sure she was ok. She found her in a heap on the floor in the auditorium, dropped down beside her and took the distraught girl into her arms.
Santana looked up at her startled and then tried to pull away, but Rachel held firmly. "Stop Santana, I'm not going to talk. Just let it out."
Santana looked into her eyes for a moment then completely broke, falling into her sobbing and holding on for dear life. Rachel just held on, rocking her softly letting her cry.
Eventually Santana's breath evened out. She had cried herself to sleep. Rachel carefully adjusted herself to lean against the wall and continued to hold the sleeping girl that had all but crawled into her lap seeking the comfort that was offered. Rachel held her for over an hour letting her sleep until the last bell woke her.
Santana didn't remove herself from Rachel's arms right away; she just laid against her for a while longer. She eventually stood up and helped Rachel to her feet. "Thanks I guess, but if you tell anyo…"
Rachel held up a hand stopping her. "I know, you'll end me. I'm not going to say anything Santana, but if you need anything just call. I put my number in your phone while you were asleep." With that she just gathered her backpack and walked out.
After watching her leave, Santana grabbed her own things and rushed out to the parking lot to her car and drove home.
*End Flashback*
She wasn't sure why Rachel had helped her that day or what she saw or heard, but she was extremely grateful to the tiny Diva. Even if she would never admit it out loud, the least she could do was hear the girl's lousy song. She packed up her portable mixer, a few accessories and headed out.
When she arrived at Rachel's she was led into the dean. "Thank you for coming Santana."
She just shrugged her shoulders and set her things down. "Whatever Tiny, just sing already so I can see if this is worth my time." She could tell by her tear stained face and red eyes that she had been right about Rachel crying.
Rachel nodded and sat at the piano. "Would you mind turning the pages for me, I haven't totally memorized it yet?"
Santana sat and looked over the song for a moment and then Rachel started playing. She listened as Rachel sang and poured everything she had into her song. The emotions that the song provoked, came off Rachel in waves and nearly broke Santana's heart at how the song suited her as well, but she could tell that the girl next to her was just as broken as she herself was.
When the song ended Santana just sat back dazed, still looking at the music. "I have to admit it Rachel. This song is off the charts good." She turned to look at her and saw Rachel with her head down her, shoulders shaking and she couldn't take the total broken posture of the other girl. Turning in place, she gathered Rachel into her arm and held her while she cried, like Rachel had done for her.
A/N: Ok that's the start. Please let me know what you think.