When We're Monsters
an Aaaah! Real Monsters Song Parody
by Save Fearow
Author's Note: I've seen a few attempts to humanize the monsters in fanart. Here, I've taken the concept and ran with it, creating a 'baleful polymorph' scenario. The young trio (now in the forms of Richard 'Ricky' Redford, a short Native American boy [mixed-race, Houma and French from father's side, Afro-Cubano from mother], plump Kirk Fields [Irish-American farmer], and slender Wihemina 'Mina' Marriot [British-American, heir to a thriving industry]) are singing the tune "When We're Human" from Disney's Princess And The Frog, with reworked lyrics to express their desires to return to normalcy.
None of the children were happy. Trying to navigate through the human world on a permanent basis was frustrating at best. Although they weren't sure -how- they could transform back into monsters, they were confident that the chage would occur soon, and when it did, all three of them had big plans.
"If I were a scary monster
from the New York underground
My stench would be so very strong
They'd scream for miles around.
You've heard of sulf'rous oxide
And milk that's past its date?
Rotten eggs, and the scent of skunks
Next to me, they'll all seem second-rate! Oh, yeah." Krumm proclaimed. He sniffed his pits in memory.
Ickis played a few bars on his harmonica. Probly the only reason that he hadn't given up entirely was that he still had the mouth harp in his possession.
"When I'm smelly
As I hope to be
Their eyes will water
From the noxious fumes
They never met a creature this stinky!" Krumm continued.
Oblina nodded, listening intently. Krumm bowed to an imaginary audience.
"Thank you. Thank you. Oh thank you. I love being smelly." Krumm gushed. Ickis lowered the harmonica from his lips.
"When I become a monster
I'll have a better life
There won't be any studying
Or other kinds of strife.
I'll regain those pointy fangs
And all the skills I had
Ev'ry night I'm gonna wail and loom
I'll be -fiercer- than my Dad!
Well, maybe...
Life is tough
But I'm tougher still
I'll show them all
Won't quit until
I'm proved a worthy son." Ickis piped up.
"Tell it buddy!" Krumm urged.
"When I'm fright'ning
And I'm gonna be
I'll be scarier than thunder and light'ning
And that's a monster gar-on-tee!" promised Ickis. Oblina rolled her eyes.
"Speaking of appearances
Your concern is with superficial traits
It takes more than just some jagged teeth
As a real monster would demonstrate.
When I'm a monster again
I'll be the best at school
By practicing what I learn in our class
At least one of us is gonna pass.
You scare therefore you are
The Manual states
It's taught me well so far
And -you- could use that wisdom." Oblina advised, looking pointedly at Ickis.
"When we're monsters
And we're gonna be..." the trio sang.
"I'm gonna stink out loud." Krumm insisted. Ickis launched another harmonica solo.
"I'm gonna be world-renowned!" Ickis predicted.
"I'm gonna do my best
To keep you boys in or~der." Oblina assured them.
"When... we're... monsters!" they chorused. Ickis concluded the melody with his harmonica as they watched the sunset in the unfamiliar bodies. Ickis yawned, and tried to reach an arm around Oblina. She smacked it aside in one quick motion. Ickis pouted. He was really starting to get annoyed by those 'universal constants'.
~~~The End.
Author's Note: Yeah, there's a feeble attempt to illustrate this up on deviantart. We lack a scanner at the moment, so it's just some sprite manipulation but I hope it gets the point across. Obviously, special thanks should go to Anika Noni Rose (Tiana's VA), Bruno Campos (Prince Naveen's VA), and Michael Leon-Wooley (Louis the alligator's VA). You can hear their original performance on youtube. Reviews are encouraged!