DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.

A/N: This takes place in season seven, where Sean has already gone off to the military.

Death and Past Lovers

Her footsteps pounded against the hurriedly flooding streets of Toronto. Thunder was roaring, and lightning was flashing, all the while the helpless girl ran through the dark to her destination, rain drenching her face, hiding her tears. Out of breath, she flew up the apartment stairs, and down the hall, banging on his door.

Startled at the sound of his door being broke down, he groggily got off the couch to answer the ruckus.

"I'm coming!" He opened up the door to see her standing there, a devastated look plastered on her face, tears freely flowing. "Emma? What-"

"Jay," was all Emma could sadly say. She handed him the newspaper that had torn her apart.

CANADIAN TROOP MISSING AFTER BOMB IN MIDDLE EAST

Jay looked at Emma, not understanding what she meant. "Emma, I-"

"That was his troop Jay, he's missing!" Emma's voice cracked from tears, but as soon as she said that, he got it. Sean was gone.

"Oh Emma…" Jay trailed off and took her in his arms.

Jay closed the door, and led the heart-broken girl into his living room and sat her on the couch. He a blanket and coffee, this was going to be a long night.

"Thanks Jay." Emma tried to crack a sad smile through her tears.

"No problem," Jay looked down as he tried to search for the right words. 'so he's really…" Emma just nodded her head, and Jay's heart sunk; his best friend might be dead.

"Why do these things always happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that so much crap has happened, and it doesn't get better, just keeps on getting more horrible. Where will it end?" Emma paused for a second and looked down. "I just feel like…like…"

"Like what Em?" Jay looked truly concerned when he asked this.

"Like Rick would have been doing me a favor if he shot me like he was going to two years ago!"

"Emma, no-" His eyes had gotten a little wider with her confession.

"But it's true! Life wasn't great back then either, but it was better than this! He would have been saving me from all the stupid pain I've gone through since then," she put her head in her hands, before whispering "like having anyone who I've ever loved or loved me, leave me…"

"Not everyone." Emma jerked her head out of her hands when Jay said that.

"What?"

"I'm still here."

Emma wasn't sure if she was really hearing this, or if it was even true. She did love Jay once, but convinced herself that he didn't love her back. But now, here they were, mourning the possible death of her ex-boyfriend, and his best friend, but why did she feel like there was more to it? She was staring into his eyes, and was about to do something she should, but caught herself and turned away.

There was an uncomfortable silence until Emma finally broke it. "I'm sorry Jay." She was sorry for so many things at this moment, but hey, one problem at a time, right?

"Don't be, it's no one's fault, what happened to him, just…happened." Emma could hear the sorrow in his voice, no matter how hard he tried to cover it up.

"It's just…I can't believe…he might be…might be…" Emma broke into a sob before she could finish her sentence.

"Gone." Jay whispered to himself as he hugged Emma, rubbing her back.

Emma pulled away from his shoulder, and looked into his eyes. They were filled with grief, as were hers. They slowly inched closer, until finally, their lips met. The kiss started out slow, and grew more and more passionate, until finally breaking apart for air, forehead to forehead. The kiss was filled with hunger, longing, passion, and heartache. Panting, they continued their make-out session, moving it towards the bedroom.

Jay had been down this road before with Emma. Sean leaves, she aches, and he comforts. But this time was different, more intense. Sean might have been gone for good this time, she was far beyond breaking, and this time, he needed the comfort as well.

Emma and Jay had fallen back onto his bed, lustfully kissing, and hands exploring. Emma began to tug on the end of his shirt, and he helped her take it off, along with hers. Jay's hand trailed up her side to her back, leaving goose bumps on her skin, and unclasped her bra. Removing it, he let his fingertips trace circles around her breasts. She let out a little moan while leaving kisses on his neck. Jay let his hands slide down her body so he could slip off her pants. She was already ahead of him, unbuckling his belt.

Jay stopped for a moment and looked into her eyes. "Emma, are you sure?" His voice was so soft and caring, she knew what he had said was true.

Emma just cupped his face to pull him into a kiss, letting him know she was okay. He took this as his cue, and pulled off her panties and his boxers, taking a condom out of the end table drawer. Emma opened the wrapper and helped him roll it on his hard member. Jay slowly began to guide in her, kissing her all the while. He then began to pick up his pace, and she moaned in pleasure. Soon her hips were moving with him, and they were both panting heavily. She came as he exploded in her, arching her back, she cried his name in ecstasy. They collapsed on the bed, and then moved to where she was laying in his arms.

The two grief-filled lovers fell asleep, and found comfort they craved in each other.