Hi, guys. I haven't really written for PJO in a while. So today, I'm gonna write a story. Hope you enjoy it. :D

It's about Leo, who, disturbingly, is still single, despite his hilarious charisma. Hmm...

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING PJO-RELATED. (EXCEPT, OF COURSE, THIS FIC.)

Aphrodite sat on her gloriously pink throne, watching The Half Blood Love Show.

Well, okay, all she was doing was watching the shortcomings of the demigods in her godly iPad. But hey, she's the goddess of love, and the goddess of love can sense when amour is in the air.

Percy and Annabeth, the famous power couple, were staring lovingly at each other. Percy whispered something to the blonde, whose eyes widened, and she began smiling and giggling, so unlike her usual 'mighty daughter of Athena' behavior. Without another word, the son of Poseidon grabbed her hands and swiftly pulled her with him in the lake.

They didn't submerge, so it didn't exactly take a goddess of wisdom to know WHAT was going on in there.

Meanwhile, Katie was screaming angrily at Travis, who was merely smirking. As she was about to start with a new rant, the well-known prankster grabbed a potted rose plant from his bag. Try as Katie might, she couldn't resist to smile, because he actually got her a POTTED plant. As a daughter of Demeter, she hated people picking flowers from their roots, obviously killing them. Katie grinned, pecked him in the cheek, and they raced off to the dining pavilion.

Clarisse and Chris were sparring like Spartans. Clarisse, as usual, was winning. Chris dodged her flaming spear, looking desperate, until a battle strategy crossed his mind. Smirking, he dropped his sword to the ground, making the daughter of Ares confused. When she lowered her spear, the son of Hermes attacked—except that his attack involved his lips, not his sword. Clarisse squeaked, dropping her spear in surprise, and Chris took that opportunity to grab his sword quickly and pin her to the ground. After he announced his triumph, he tossed both weapons and continued to make out with his girlfriend, right in the center of the arena.

The goddess sighed in sheer bliss as she inspected the lives of the demigods. It was like watching a soap opera, except that this has more variety, more depth!

Plus, she didn't feel the need to get jealous of the leading ladies' beauty, since all the girls in Camp Half-Blood didn't really care about their looks (with the exception of her precious daughters, of course, but it's hardly appropriate to get jealous of them).

Aphrodite absently tucked an auburn strand of her hair behind her ear seconds before it turned into the color of spun gold. Then a sharp tingle went through her spine. Wait. Something wasn't right.

She sensed a disturbance within the force...of love.

And sure enough...as she shifted the screen on her godly iPad, she spotted a certain dark-haired boy in the forges. She frowned and zoomed in, so she could see him better.

It was Leo Valdez, son of Hephaestus—and, to an extent, her stepson. As usual, he was constructing something out of a plain hunk of lead, but...something was wrong. She frowned as she inspected the Latino boy's face.

He looked lonely. And that's when it hit Aphrodite.

Duh! He was lonely.

No wonder. Aphrodite closed her eyes and did a background check on the half-blood, scanning his psyche to see all the dates he has been in, and all the crushes he had.

Yikes. While the 'crush' list was definitely full, the 'date' list was pretty much empty.

As far as Aphrodite could tell, Leo was hardly asked out on dates, nor did he have the courage to ask anybody out. The few he had involved mustard stains, awkward conversations, and some ancient, supposedly mythological beast going in the restaurant and ruining everything. Those weren't exactly great factors for dates.

"That's so sad!" Aphrodite cried, practically shedding a tear.

"What's wrong, Aphrodite?"

The goddess was startled. She whipped her head up to have her gaze locked with her husband Hephaestus, god of fire and metalworking.

Normally, it would be an accomplishment to say that your husband is a god. Unfortunately, though, the circumstances were hardly normal, since the said godly husband was nearly three thousand years old. Plus, he wasn't exactly good-looking.

"Oh, Hephy," Aphrodite sighed, clutching her husband's arm.

"What?" Hephaestus said irritably. He really needed to get back to his machines soon. He only came here to hang out with the muses and maybe snack on some ambrosia. Now he was stuck with his nutcase of a wife.

"It's horrible!" the goddess exclaimed, her blue-brown-gray-green eyes widening. "Our son is a socially awkward boy who can't ask a female out!"

The god's face contorted in puzzlement, distorting his features even more. "Whoa, what do you mean, our son?"

"Leo, of course," Aphrodite snapped. "He's your kid, and I'm your wife, so he's our kid."

"You sure hadn't been acting like a wife lately," the god muttered. And by 'lately,' he meant a few hundred years, give or take.

"Hey!" Aphrodite interjected. "Just listen to me! Do you really want poor Leo to die alone, in a house, with twenty cats and a cyborg? Because that's what his future is beginning to look like!"

"Oh, Styx," Hephaestus sighed, rubbing his beard. "So, what exactly do you want to do?"

"We set him up with a nice girl, of course!" she insisted. "Plus, she has to be hot. I won't let poor Leo settle for less!"

Hephaestus groaned. "Why can't he just build himself a nice girl?" he grumbled. "He can make the robotic female of his dreams, and we can just turn it into a human. Won't that be simpler?"

"That's not true love," Aphrodite snapped. She snatched a tube of lipstick from her pink purse and began applying it fervently. It was a nervous habit.

"You did that once," Hephaestus countered. "To...what was that fellow's name? Pygmalion, and his statue Galatea, right?"

The goddess tossed her hair, which was now a lovely shade of brown. "Well...statues are different from robots!" She looked at him pleadingly. "Well, okay, I could probably do that, but that won't be as fun as setting him up with a real girl. Just...come on, help me!"

"Why don't you just ask Ares? He is your boyfriend, remember?"

"We," Aphrodite sniffed, slipping her lipstick back in her purse, "are having a lovers' quarrel."

The god raised his eyebrows. "I don't even want to know."

"Whatever! Please, Hephaestus?"

"NO! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY CYCLOPS AND ROBOTS!"

Aphrodite glared at him, before her multicolored eyes softened and she smiled. "Aww, we sound like an old married couple."

Hephaestus snorted. "We are an old married couple. An ancient couple, in fact. And it won't hurt if you remember that before dating some random idiot you happen to meet in Hollywood!"

The goddess scowled, before she remembered that sometimes, when you manipulate people, you gotta use charm before anger. So she batted her long eyelashes and stuck her lower lip out. "Please?" she begged.

Hephaestus looked down at her and felt his heart softening. Hades, even he wasn't immune to her beauty, and it has been several centuries. "Fine," he said gruffly. "But only for my son, okay? If you force me to set some Apollo guys up with other girls, then I am going to blow a gasket."

"YAY!" the goddess shrieked, nearly deafening the god's immortal ears. Without another word, she yanked his arm and teleported them to Camp Half-Blood.

Hephaestus sighed, thinking about how painfully awkward this would be. He never even went to his son's birthdays, and now he was going to pop up suddenly to offer him dating advice?

This is going to be a long, long day.

Indeed, this is a multi-chaptered story! Wouldn't you want to know what happens next? On a brighter note, I haven't written for PJO in AGES and I'm back, baby! Did anyone miss me? *silence* Um, okay. :P But please REVIEW! :)