Opposites Attract

Rating: T (for future chapters) just to be safe.

Summary: Can life get any worse for Aragorn right now? He's dealing with his mother's death, aided by a best friend who is a complete and utter fruitcake, and trying to cope with a girlfriend who flirts with anything that has a pulse. On top of all this the woman who hates him with all her heart is now sharing a small house with him!

Disclaimer: All of these characters belong to the amazing Professor Tolkien and I'm just the girl who likes to mess around with some of his creations.

Chapter 1: All by Myself

For Eru's sake! All day he had wished that these people would leave him alone. Well now they had done just that and he wished that they would all come back and pester him some more.

Aragorn sat with his head in his hands in his mother's cottage; wondering what was going to happen to him. It had been exactly one week since the funeral and his life was still in pieces. He was going to have to live alone and learn to survive. Sure, he was a ranger and he could take care of himself out in the wild, but leave him in a house and tell him to cook? Well…you'd have more luck getting blood out of a stone.

Now that his mother was in the halls of Mandos, the small, quaint cottage in Rivendell seemed eerily quiet. He hated it. It was just the way it was when he had first moved in at two years old. In fifty years their home had not changed at all. He was not sure if he could call it 'home' anymore. Was it really 'home' if the best bit about it was gone forever?

How was he going to survive without her? He couldn't even use the kettle without nearly setting fire to the living room. How would he cope without her singing as she baked enough apple pie to feed an army and stopped only to nag him? He felt the tears stream down his face before he could stop them.

He had been living with Elrond for the past week. He had not been able to bear coming back after the funeral. Still, he had the weekend ahead of him to settle in and adjust to life alone. It seemed such a good idea this morning.

Plenty of people had already visited to see if he was alright. He told them that of course he was and that he was fine. How could they possibly believe him? Most of them were elves; one of them was a wizard for Eru's sake! Surely they could see it in his eyes.

His girlfriend's mother had brought around a small casserole for him and he was incredibly grateful. She had no idea what she had done for him. He couldn't believe his luck; he wouldn't have to cook.

That was before he discovered that I was inedible. It could probably kill 99 of all known germs. He hoped that Calminaiel wouldn't end up like her.

Calminaiel was his girlfriend. She was fairly pretty with big brown eyes and long red hair. She was short and rather plump, making her look remarkably like her mother; a thought that Aragorn tried to push out of his mind every time he saw her. Picturing her mother in romantic moments, he decided, was not the best of ideas.

He hadn't had a moment's peace all afternoon and now that he was alone the lack of his mother's presence was beginning to bother him. He was so lonely without someone to talk to. It was hard being a habitual loner.

He was tempted to fall on his sword or die a slow and painful death from eating Calminaiel's mother's casserole.

The noise of the door opening seemed to wake him up a little. He was suddenly aware of someone else's presence. He stood slowly and walked backwards into the corner of the room. His heart began to beat in double time. He was surprised at his reaction. He was perfectly safe is Rivendell and he knew that well.

Before him stood Legolas Greenleaf; beaming. "Did I miss anything?"

"Good evening." said Aragorn. "I mean come in. There's no need to stand outside and wait for me to ask you in."

"Ah! You're on the mend. You're sarcasm has returned."

Aragorn smiled weakly. "Missed it then have you?"

"It doesn't feel right. You without sarcasm is like…well I don't know. I've never been very good with words but it's odd all the same."

"I am so glad that you're here. People have been driving me up the wall and across the ceiling. Cal's mother has tried to give me food poisoning, Dan and Ro have rifling through my stuff and deciding what I've got room for and what I should throw out and Calminaiel has done nothing but flirt with Dramorion all afternoon."

"Dramorion?"

"He's got a frightful temper though so she'd better be on her guard."

"Ari; you're not making any sense."

"Well if he finds out that she's been leading him on…put it this way; I would not like to be in her shoes."

"But he's engaged."

"What? To who?"

"Oh you wouldn't know her; but you should. Her name is Arwen."

"Well of course I know her. Eru knows! You're an idiot sometimes."

"Oh yeah; she's the elleth you spent your teenage years lusting after am I right?"

"You know very well that you're right so don't wind me up. I am not in the mood!"

There was a pregnant pause where neither of them knew what to say.

"So…has Gandalf seen you yet?" asked Legolas, watching his best friend pace around the sitting room.

"Yes. Straight after the funeral he shows up and asks if the key for…what's his name..? Oakenshield! He asked if anything has arrived for a Mr. Oakenshield. Honestly! He has no tact."

"Neither of you so don't be so hypocritical. What does he want with a key anyway?"

"I've no idea. He said something about the lonely mountain and thirteen dwarves and they're all superstitious."

"Was that all he said? He didn't tell you anything else?"

"He didn't tell me anything. I heard him muttering it to no-one in particular as he walked off."

"I swear he's going mad."

"Going mad! I shouldn't say that. He's been great over the past few weeks. He's been my only regular visitor. Everyone else seems to think that I should be left alone; even Calminaiel. Although, I think she's just avoiding me because we argued."

"The pair of you are always arguing."

"Yeah well…I don't think we will be much longer."

"For the love of the Valar don't dump her! With the exception of me and Gandalf, if you insist upon never leaving the house, she'll be the only member of the outside world coming in to see you…and she's gorgeous."

"I knew that would come into it somewhere."

"You're lonely aren't you?"

"No! I happen to think that sitting alone in a darkened room with only my memories for company is the ultimate way to spend a Friday night."

"Is that sarcasm again?"

"Of course it is! You don't really think that's true? For someone who claims that they know me better than anyone else, you really don't know me at all!"

"What you need is a housemate."

"I assure that I don't. I don't get on with strangers Leg, if you hadn't noticed! Face it. I'm just dislikeable."

"You? Dislikeable? I have never heard such rubbish in all my born days and, believe me, there have been a lot of them! It's that man in Bree isn't it? For heaven's sake Ari! Just because he thinks that you're a mysterious vagabond doesn't mean that are…well you are one; I won't lie to you, but we all love you for it."

"Who did you have in mind?"

"What do you mean 'who do I have in mind'?"

"Well, from the way that you were buttering me up just then, I imagined that you may have a housemate already lined up."

"Well, funnily enough…I do."

"Who is it?" asked Aragorn, thinking that this sounded ominous.

"Me!"

"I thought as much. Why do you need to live here? If you're staying for a long time you can always stay with Elrond."

"Yeah but he won't let me have house parties."

"And neither will I!"

"And he's no fun."

"And neither am I!"

"Stop fishing for compliments. Now, come along, buck up! You can help me pack."