The day started out just as any other. After spending the night on the phone with that moronic git, Alfred, I managed to fall into a deep slumber which lasted through the afternoon. The gentle buzzing of my phone brought me into consciousness (which I was not too pleased about, mind you). I reached my right hand over to the night stand, groggily parting my lips to begin this very unwanted conversation. It possibly could not be anything quite important. It was, just in fact, a day as any other.
"Good morrow, Arthur" the voice called from the other end.
"Good morning to you as well, Mr. Cameron." David was a man whom I was quite fond of. He had never done me any wrong, at least not at the time. He remained quiet for some time before I spoke once more, carefully clearing my throat.
"Is there anything you need?" I asked, propping myself up on my left elbow. He let out a small, almost inaudible sigh before answering my question. The silence between us felt slightly uncomfortable and awkward. It had never been this way with us before. After I had saved his bloody arse from staying with that blasted wench, Ashley, his respect was the least I deserved. At least some God damned manners, for Christ's sake!
"Before I say anything, please be aware that I have already discussed this with Parliament, and they all agree with the decision I am about to expose to you." My heart suddenly stopped. The last time Parliament had consulted without my authority was the Glorious Revolution. Of course, things had turned for the better, but during the boiling point, life was close to horrible as it could be. I held my breath and awaited for the upcoming news.
"Will I have to do something against my will?" I muttered. David slightly chuckled, clicking his tongue.
"Most likely, yes. When was the last time you had to do completely against your will, Arthur?" he asked nonchalantly. My eyes widened, and I sat straight up, pulling the blanket closer to myself. Why the bloody Hell was he asking me such atrocious questions? I lowered my lids, and secured my grip of the phone. He knew what my answer was. Anyone who has worked up close personally with me knows the fucking answer.
"Leaving Alfred in 1812." The ruler at that point believed that I was doing more harm to myself trying to keep my former colony instead of letting it go. He somehow managed to convince me to give up. I had not spoken to Alfred on a friendly basis since that point until it was necessary for me to swallow my pride and ask for his help during World War I. Looking down, I shook my head. "Why do you need to know?" I asked.
"It appears that you may need to perform those actions once more. You need to cut any and every relationship," he began. I laughed. This was all purely for economical purposes, of course. Alfred was a mooch, he would most likely try to steal my funds. I was already aware he would pull off some cheap trick such as that. Giving away some pounds from the treasury should not do such a great harm.
"Listen, Mr. Cameron, I think you have this wrong. I know that out of everyone, America is most certainly the most selfish and moronic of the nations. He's too much of an imbecile to ask for m-"
"It's not for the economic side, Arthur. Parliament has ruled that this relationship is not making you focus on the needs of this nation. Mr. Jones takes far too much time from your schedule and is making you seem like your mind is in Disney World, while your body remains in London.." he spoke. I remained frozen. Well, fuck the special relationship. It was getting quite old, anyways. I was most certainly not upset. Ending it would not do me any harm.
"Hm. That's perfectly fine, my dear comrade. I'll simply call America tonight and-"
"That's... actually one more thing I may have not exactly emphasized.."
"What in the devil's name are you speaking about?"
"You're no longer permitted to speak to America either." I froze once again. A chill went up the back of my spine, as I was clenching my teeth, and flaring my nostrils. Who were THEY to tell ME what I could and could not do! I am the United Bloody Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland! I could easily govern myself if I so desired. I narrowed my eyes, and stared into space.
"Who the fuck are you to tell me who I can and cannot speak to?" I whispered. Mr. Cameron sighed, the noise from various papers being rustled and looked through in order to continue the conversation made their way to my end of the phone.
"Who am I? Your prime minister, that is who. And Parliament chose me to inform you of their choice. With this split with your relationship, you'll be able to focus more on your own items as well as Britain as a whole. This is for the best of you and us. I apologise, Arthur. Good day."
"Good day..." I hissed. I waited until I heard the standard phone tone to ensure, in fact, that Mr. Cameron had ended the call. I pressed the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger, taking a deep breath. It was far too early in the morning to be thinking. I checked my wall clock. Morning my arse, it was nearly two in the afternoon.
"Fuck.." I muttered, kicking the sheets off. I stared at my bedroom's pale blue walls, thinking on how to break the news to Alfred. He was most likely already informed. If not, the odds that he would find out through some third party were quite high. I stepped steadily on the wooden floor. I bit my tongue, taking each step slower and lighter than the one before. None of their reasons made sense. It was such a sudden choice. Quite bloody fucking random as well.
Walking down the stairs, I continued to feed theories into my brain to come to a final conclusion. Did Alfred cut the friendship on his own and is Parliament simply sparing my feelings? Of course not, they know I wouldn't give two damns. Perhaps President Obama and Camille got into some sort of disagreement. A probable circumstance, but unlikely to cause an effect on me. The blue bloods have no say in government, they are simply a figure for the media to play with. I strained my mind to find more probabilities.
Making my way into the kitchen, I began to pour water into my black kettle which Alfred had gotten me for Christmas in 1982. It had seen better days, but my black kettle was certainly reliable. I would not trade it for any other. I awaited for the water to come to a boil as I flipped on the television to BBC. I took much pride in my entertainment and media. The kettle began to whistle just as the special feature cut to the breaking news.
"What the hell..." No one ever interrupted a marathon of Doctor Who, not so long as my hair was blonde and my eyes green, and I living. I reached for the remote to turn up the volume, making my way over to pour the water into the cup with a peppermint tea bag waiting to be used. I raised the volume in a swift movement, setting the controller down once the level was that to my satisfaction.
"Good afternoon, London. This is Elizabeth Mayes coming to you live from Washington D.C in the United States of America." Oh God damn it all. I grabbed my mug and seated myself on the couch, leaning in to see the upcoming news. I scanned the screen for any sign of a political figure which might hint me as to what was happening. Nothing whatsoever.
"It seems that as of today, America has officially been declared bankrupt. The government is slowly trying to keep its people calm during this new financial crisis. According to researchers, this depression has hit rock bottom, throwing the States into a complete national deficit. No longer able to repay any loans, leaders of other nations are n-" I shut the set off. Things were slightly more clear to me. Not crystal clear as I would hope, but I was not swimming in the murky waters of complete ignorance any longer.
Parliament's actions had their purpose. They know I would be the first to offer a lending hand to Alfred. It's the least I owe him, I don't do it because I care about that damned bastard. I chuckled, taking one more sip of the peppermint tea. David had no say in who I could help and who I could not. I laughed some more as I walked towards my office. I reached for the phone, and dialed Alfred's number. This was some ridiculous mess that arse had gotten himself into. And I, being a proper English gentleman, would most certainly help him out.
"Good Afternoon, or shall I say morning. This is Arthur Kirkland. Would Alfred Jones be available?" I asked, taking one more sip of my tea. The call suddenly dropped. The standard beeping noise began to play from the other end, never stopping. I felt my arms and legs go weak. The weight from the tea mug was too much for me to bear at the moment. It slipped through my fingertips, shattering as soon as it made contact with the floor. Glass shards danced around my exposed feet, edges kissing and cutting the skin which soon began to bleed.
I remained frozen in place. I attempted to dial once more, only to be rejected again. I looked around the room in a faze. What the hell was going on? The office phone rang. I reached for it in a light second, holding my breath.
"Alfred?" I called out, hoping that his cheery voice would return some snarky remark which would aggravate me. I needed to hear his voice.
"I tried to be as diplomatic as possible, Arthur.." Cameron began. Oh bloody fuck. "We gave you guidelines. Parliament is not afraid to take serious action. Stop contact with America, or things will turn for the worst. This is the last simple warning."
The phone clicked. I looked down at the mess I had made. Hot tea mixed with blood and glass all painted quite a delightful picture for me on the floor. I had to clean this up. I had to clear my mind. I breathed in. I would need to list everything I was aware of, and the things I was not. I made my way towards the laundry room, looking for any sort of towel. Number one, Alfred was in a fucking recession that God knows how he got so screwed over.
I turned the handle on the sink, testing the water to ensure that it was warm enough. Number two, I had no idea what was going on with America's situation. Perhaps he was undergoing a revolution. If so, it would not be too shocking. Every nation goes through various domestic conflicts. At the same time, he was utterly destroyed during his Civil War. I shook my head.I did not want to think about his misery. I looked at the wall clock. There was nothing to keep my thoughts occupied.
Number three, I was no longer permitted to continue any political or emotional relationship with America. I mean, not emotional. Our lack of friendship would surely do us both harm, economically. Of course, this was truly the only reason as to why I'm in denial. It's not as if I have any feelings for that moronic git. No feelings whatsoever. I placed the towel under the running water, wringing it free from any excess liquid before I made my way to the office once more, squatting to pick up the glass pieces with the moistened towel. I looked down, wiping away the small blood smears left.
Despite the bleeding, I felt no pain. I checked my feet, the bleeding practically stopped. I shrugged, and continued wiping down the wooden floor. America was no longer with me. My own government had turned against me due to their fear of me dedicating all of my time and energy on that bloody wanker. I huffed, biting the inside of my cheek.
I knew not why I felt so heartbroken over Parliament's decision. It's not as if Alfred would give a damn over our relationship suddenly being taboo. I always cared more for him, anyways. This could be a relieve for me. I would no longer need to go out of my way for him. Fucking Hell, that tosser. I stood up, leaving the remainder of the mess to stay in its place. No "boss" of mine had any bloody fucking right over telling me to whom I can and cannot speak to.
My name is Arthur Kirkland. I am the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. I am not about to let some pricks tell me how to run my matters when I have obviously been around far longer than they have. I would speak to Alfred again. I would help him out of his dilemma, and we would be together once again. I would make sure that it would happen. This day did not begin like any other, but I would sure as hell make sure that it would end like one.
...
Na na na na! 'Ello, lovelies!
Wow, that was fun to write. Poor Iggy. He and his confused inner thoughts.
JUST ADMIT IT, YOU LOVE HIM.
E: I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT!
Yay. Hope you enjoyed!