I dunno what to say... slightly crude?? Judging by the title you should know this isn't about bunnies, but its also not romance. 'Cause I don't roll that way...

This was created for the people that reviewed on "Please Define Vital" and wanted to know how Dean acquired his awkward injury. This also mentions some things from "Where do you find a Taxi at 3 am?"

Disclaimer: I just hurt the boys a lot. Kripke owns them and can hurt them more than I can legally.

Whips and Wax and Taxi Cabs

By: Jasper03

Sam awoke to his phone going off on the bedside table next to his bed. Blindly he called out, "Dean, get the phone. Dean?"

Upon hearing no reply from his older brother Sam sat up and glanced to his brothers bed, which was empty. Sam picked up the call before the tone ended, noting that it was three in the morning. Why does Dean always call at three in the morning? Doesn't he know how difficult it his to get a taxi at 3 AM?

" 'Lo?"

"Sam?"

Sam sat in his bed kinda shocked. It was a female voice on the other line, never had Dean's liaisons called before. Unless…no that would be too crazy. Still, Sam had to ask, just to be sure his brother wasn't his new sister.

"Um, is Dean there?" Please don't Dean be a girl. Please don't let Dean be a girl. Please don't let Dean-

"He's a little laid up right now." Sam scrunched his nose in disgust. He really did not want to know what his brother was or had been doing, he just wanted to talk to him.

"Can I talk to my brother please?"

"Sure thing Sweetie."

"Sammy." Dean rasped over the phone.

Oh no! What's wrong with him? What if she was sadistic like the girl from last week? Dean was still sporting some of the lash marks from her whip. "Dean are you alright? She didn't have leather and wax did she?"

"Not…funny Sam-my." Sam realized his brother sounded like he was in real pain. What did this girl do to his big brother?

"Dude, are you okay?"

"No."

All of Sam's red flags were raised. When Dean admits to having pain and not being just the standard 'fine', something was terribly wrong.

"Sam, Sweetie? It's Lydia again, Dean's in an awful bit of pain. He wants you to come pick him up. And Sam? Bring some loose fitting pants, he's not gonna be able to fit in his jeans the way he is now."

Ugh! Nasty! When I get him back here, we are having a long talk about the type of women he goes out with!

"Where are you guys?" Lydia began to tell Sam directions to her apartment and even gave him a number he could call for a taxi. Sam did not want to have to do what he did last week to get one.

What did Dean do now?

Sam raced out of the cab tossing money at the driver. He didn't care how much he threw, he just had to get the apartment his brother was in. He had worried himself sick with ideas and possibilities on the way there and had even told the driver to turn around half way there so he could grab at least a knife and gun, just in case.

"Hey kid!" The cab driver called to Sam and he slowed down and turned to the driver.

"Do you want me to stay here?"

"No that's fine. Go." Sam turned and ran into the apartment building and up a flight of stairs. He made his way up to the third floor and jogged half-way down it where Lydia said she and Dean would be.

"Lydia! It's me Sam." Damn it! He forgot the sweatpants. He severely hoped Lydia was joking because if not, Sam was going back to the motel and would not come back for his big brother until the jeans did fit.

The door swept open quickly and Lydia rushed Sam in. "Sugar, I told you to bring loose-fitting pants."

Sam surveyed his surroundings quickly to be sure he wasn't in the middle of a trap. Lydia seemed kinda normal, compared to the usual girls Dean went out with. Her hair was pulled up in a bun and was wearing lavender terry cloth robe with matching slippers.

"I forgot them. No one told me what happened and I worried myself sick thinking what could have happened to him. So sweatpants weren't exactly on the top of my list of things to remember!"

Lydia actual looked like she might cry. "I-I'm sorry Sam," her bottom lip trembled.

Great. Just perfect. He made her cry. "I'm sorry Lydia. I'm just worried about my big brother."

"You know, I'm right here." Dean's voice wasn't as hoarse as it had been on the phone, but it still hadn't returned to his booming glory.

Dean lay in Lydia's bed with the blankets pulled up to his chin and was laying on his belly so he couldn't still have…he couldn't be…Sam really didn't want to think about that. "What's wrong Dean?"

"I uh…pulled a muscle."

Sam's facial expressions changed from brotherly love and concern to 'I could hate you' in just seconds. "What?! You wake me up at three in the morning, AGAIN, because you pulled a muscle?! Man, Dean, its great that we can count on each other to wake up at un-godly hours of the morning to rescue each other from women with whips and wax or something, but this is ridiculous."

Dean just buried his chin further in the blankets and avoided his brother's gaze to the best of his ability. "Sorry Sammy, I shouldn't asked you to come. I'm sure I'll be fine in the morning. I just…sorry." He turned his head away.

That did it, Sam felt really bad. Something about a pathetic, sad older brother just wasn't appealing. He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed and noticed Dean hissed in pain. "Sorry. What muscle?"

"My most important one."

"Your heart?"

"My groin."

Sam cringed. Oh, that most important muscle.

I may slap one more chapter on here...what? you thought I wouldn't fix him??

Reviews are appreciated and just while you all are reading this... Go read "So Not Into Psychics" I updated the second chapter!!!!!!!!!!