Hello readers! Thanks for clicking on my story and giving it a try! This story starts right after America finds out Aspen is a guard in the palace, but instead of keeping it a secret from Maxon, she does something else, changing the whole plot for the Selection as we know it! I hope you enjoy it! Happy reading~

I looked in the oval mirror hanging above my dresser, suddenly feeling pangs of sadness and hurt all over now that Maxon left me to my room. I clutched my chest with one hand and leaned on the large and white wood dresser with the other, looking away from my red eyes. As time went on in the Selection, I could feel my heart and head slowly distancing itself from Aspen and getting closer to Maxon. It was hard enough to do that when Aspen wasn't here to remind me of the heartache of that day we parted so harshly.

I had just seen him downstairs with Maxon, and was unable to even enjoy a second of my time with him because of it. The whole movie was spent panicking about what I should do. I wondered if Maxon felt my nerves. Now that Aspen was here I somehow felt the tugging need to tell Maxon but also keep it a secret. Whatever happened between Aspen and I was in the past, it was illegal for me to be with him until Maxon released me. Besides, I didn't quite want to leave. I cared for Maxon more deeply than I wanted to admit. Knowing Aspen was here would kill him, he'd probably dismiss Aspen on the spot.

I could feel my breathing getting quicker and the air getting thinner as thoughts of heartbreak and confusion swamped my head. All I could think about was how could he be here? How is that of all people, Aspen was chosen to come to the palace?

"Miss are you alright?" Anne exclaimed, interrupting my train of thought.

"I- can't- br-breathe-" I choked, not able to tell the difference between my racking sobs and hyperventilated breathing. "Every-thing- is so- so dizzy- I can't-"

"America, you need to calm down and put your mind over matter." Anne said sternly, somehow conveying that this wasn't her first rodeo. "Put your arms above your head and slowly breathe with me. Do your absolute best to follow me, do not allow panic to take over."

I shakily raised my arms, inhaling rattling breaths as she guided me. It took a while, but soon I was breathing slowly and calmly (or calmer) again. "Come on," she said, putting an arm around my back and hugging me tightly.

I held her tightly, not knowing how much I needed her embrace.

"Let's get you changed." she said warmly. "Lucy, take her night gown out and so I can draw a bath. Mary, run down to the kitchens and tell them to deliver America's meal to her tonight. She needs rest."

"Should I tell his majesty Prince Maxon?" Mary asked.

"Yes, and get some sleeping pills as well."

Mary nodded, walking quickly out the door. My body felt cold, shaking slightly as Anne walked me towards the bathroom. Lucy slowly took off my dress as Anne drew the bath, pouring in some soothing lavender oils to go with the bubbles. I slipped into the bath and closed my eyes, not knowing what to say. They seemed to understand, knowing when I was upset that I had to be alone for a while. Anne left the door cracked, so that she could hear me if I needed anything. After my bath, I got dressed in the silkiest and most soothing night gown I had here.

Once Mary set me up with a dinner tray in my bed, Lucy asked me gingerly, "Miss, I don't mean to pry, but may I ask what happened?"

"Lucy!" Anne scolded, not approving of her improper question.

"It's okay." I said weakly. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that. And thank you, for helping me. But I'm afraid I can't say...at least not yet. I need to figure some things out."

"But you're not going home yet are you?" Mary asked quickly, I could hear the fear in her voice too.

"No, not all. I'm sorry, I should have said, of course that's what you thought," I said.

They all sighed in relief, Lucy putting a hand to her chest lightly.

"Come, ladies, I think America would like her rest now." Anne said softly. "Just ring when you want your tray taken. Mary set the sleeping pill and a glass of water next to your bed. Rest."

"I will, thank you." I said. They all walked out of the room, quieter than their usual selves. I ate my meal quickly, ringing the bell so that I could take that damn sleeping pill and get some rest. I didn't know how else to handle all my feelings right now.

A moment later a knock sounded from my door around my room. That was quick, I thought.

"Come in," I tried to say loudly, but my voice even cracked at that.

I looked towards the door, the shoes sounding on the floor were not similar to the ones my maids wore. I quickly stood up and unplugged the night stand lamp, gripping it high as a weapon. With the rebel attacks lately, I couldn't be sure that it wasn't someone to hurt me.

But it wasn't at all what I was expecting, Maxon rounded the corner, his eyes widening as he stopped in his step and saw me holding the lamp in my nightgown.

"America?" he asked, laughing lightly.

I set the lamp down, sighing in turn. "You scared me. You were supposed to be a maid to take down my tray." I quickly walked over to the closet and put a robe over my gown, feeling somewhat embarrassed to be caught in my skivvies with Maxon.

"Well, if you were going for scaring me, I'd say you did quite well. I've never seen someone so strongly grip a lamp in protection." he smiled, but I wasn't in the mood for any jokes.

"I'm sorry, I'm not really good company right now." I said quietly, taking a tired seat on the edge of my bed.

"Nonsense. You're always good company. But I'm sorry you're not feeling well, your maids told me you felt sick."

I nodded, this wasn't a lie. The situation with Aspen here, walking the halls as I competed to marry Maxon did make me feel sick.

"You were looking rather pale before the movie, I'm sorry if I tired you and made it worse, my dear."

I didn't even have the energy to fight the pet name I couldn't stand. It was as if seeing Aspen all over again drained me of any life. Now I was just worrying that somehow Maxon knew. If he had been paying attention, (though most boys don't), he would have seen my discomfort with Aspen before the movie and maybe he would have put two and two together. "I think I just need to rest." I said after a moment of silence, trying to hint at the fact that I wanted to be left alone.

"Yes, of course. I'll leave you." he said, kissing my forehead gently. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I had that officer, Leger I think, posted outside your door. Now I can rest too knowing you aren't by yourself."

I stood up quickly from my seat, my stomach dropping, making me feel even more genuinely sick than before. "You didn't have to do that-" I started, but he quickly said something, cutting me off.

"I think we'll both feel safer knowing someone you know is here to protect you."

Guilt enveloped me, making me feel even dizzier than before. Suddenly, I couldn't even respond, I couldn't open my mouth, afraid that somehow my stomach that was twisted in a thousand knots would throw up my meal. My eyes started to fail me, black spots slowly taking over my sight.

"America?" a concerned voice asked. "Are you alright?"

But before I could answer, the world dissolved from my senses, leaving me alone in darkness.

Thank you so much for reading! I hoped you liked the first chapter :) comment below to leave any constructive criticism or let me know what to do to make the story better! follow to keep getting updates- I try and post a chapter a day if I can :)) thanks again for reading!