Step into Paradise
I cannot describe how much I do love the assemblies and balls... Especially if they may be helpful in Jane's road to happiness. Truth to be told, she is the main reason to look forward the Netherfield Ball. I would like to see the secret bound between my dear Jane and Mr Bingley.
But there were other thoughts on my mind. The main question was if it is possible to consider Mr Darcy as that proud and cruel man as he was described by Mr Wickham to me? If it is anything from it true, Jane and Mr Bingley are in quite danger.
There was the other problem called my own family. I was sure about that they would do anything to be in centre of attention and mainly I was afraid of my mother's demeanour. I could visibly imagine her talking to other people about the future marriage between Jane and Mr Bingley. But she could not see the behaviour of his sister in the right light. She did not want us as a part of their acquaintance or family. The second could be worse alternative but thankfully, I was the only one who knew about it.
When we finally got to the Hall, I was decided to ignore any signs of Mr Darcy's presence. But this was better said than done. His constant stare upon me totally destroyed it. I was about to be afraid that I will never get rid of that man. The best idea at that moment was to go and find Charlotte at least.
Oh, problem – Mr Wickham was not there. I was sure that the reason of his sudden absence must be Mr Darcy himself. It seemed like he wanted to destroy the pleasure of these assemblies, because there was question about my dancing partner at the ball. I only hoped that it could not be worse.
Unfortunately, it could, if I counted the presence of my cousin Mr Collins, whose declaration of wish to dance with me first two dances totally shocked me. Dear me, if Mr Darcy saw me dancing with that little creature, I could perfectly imagine how much he must laugh at me. Fortunately, Charlotte was there and shared my opinion about that situation with Mr Collins and Mr Darcy. She also witnessed something extraordinary; when we were laughing about the previous partner, we almost crashed into the one man who was stalking me all evening. Mr Darcy himself asked me to dance? Sooner than I had a chance to decline his offer, it was over. I could not believe it. What have I done what made him believe that I will dance with him? Why he just did not dance with Miss Bingley, if he wished to find one suitable partner for two dances? Why me?
When the dance started I was decided to be rude and gracious at one time. I could not help myself, but I had to ask him about Mr Wickham. His answer was cold as fire so i was sure they did hate each other. But there was still one question: why?
On the other hand, there was something strange about his behaviour towards me while dancing. At first, I thought that he would like to curse me with his eyes still fixed on me by chance, but on the contrary – it seemed that he quite enjoyed being with me. But – how dared he to step into my mind after all he had done? How could his stare be that hypnotic? How could his every slight touch make me feel like just only one step to paradise? I tried to be rude, but at the end of it I felt lost. How could be possible to feel so strangely bound to someone whom I hated? And is it hate, if you find yourself alone with the other person in a ballroom full all the time with other couples? Something happened – but what?
While that dance I almost forgot about other members of my family; my mother, Lydia, Kitty and even Mary had to show they are the silliest women in the world with the name Bennet. At least Mr Bingley did not notice it – almost all evening he spent with Jane and that was a very good sign. It was the best what could happen because Jane deserved to be loved.
"Am I worth to be loved as she is?" I asked the stars in the sky above as I was standing outside the noise coming from the hall. Maybe there was someone waiting right for me. Why had I that sudden feeling that Mr Darcy was looking that way where I stood? I could not help myself, so I turned my face and saw him looking straight at me. I started to wonder what he was thinking about as he looked at me, because I was unable to comprehend him as well as his actions and above all, his eyes.
I stayed there for a while and waited what he does. He did nothing but continued to look at me, though the assembly was full of other handsome women. I had to go. It was unbearably dangerous to stay near him. I started to feel more and more confused, so I came back to the room and tried to run away from his eyes., which have stalked me whole evening...