Paint It Black

A Final Fantasy VIII song fic

Final Fantasy VIII characters and locations from said game are owned by SquareSoft

'Paint It Black' all rights reserved M. Jagger/K. Richards

By Robertdogwood

Rated PG13 - for language and violence

Drama/Romance

For Ashbear, Wayward Tempest, and Optical Goddess because
I know they always enjoy a Squall - Rinoa story

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black

Rinoa turned away from the red door that marked Squall's office as Commander. She had no idea of how she had come to be standing in front of it. She certainly realized that he hadn't been in it for the past two months, maybe a bit longer.

I must have been daydreaming, the young sorceress realized.

As the beautiful young woman walked desolately through the Garden, with her present emotions of sadness and anguish so clear to everyone she passed, they steered a clear path of her. Rinoa appeared oblivious to this, as her mind drifted back to that day - the day Squall left for Deling City.

All Rinoa remembered of that day for certain was the foreboding she felt, as she stood and watched her young lover leave the Garden. The ebony-haired young woman didn't care for the mission, when it was first explained to her by Squall and her sense of disquietude has grown stronger every day that passed with no word from him. In fact, Rinoa was the only person who still possessed a hope that her lover, the young Commander still walked among the living. Everybody else, no matter how much it pained them, had come to admit that they would never see Squall alive again.

The manner in which Squall initially explained the mission to Rinoa, on the afternoon before he left, it was described as fairly straight forward. Of course, he would make it sound that way - not to worry me, thought Rinoa morosely, as she continued on her solitary journey through the Garden.

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

A group of off-duty female upperclassmen passed Rinoa dressed in their pretty civilian clothes, probably on their way to Balamb City to meet their dates or boyfriends for the evening. A sudden memory of waiting for Squall to finish his Garden duties, so they could go out on a Saturday evening filled her mind. It caused her to experience such a sharp emotional pain that her eyes immediately filled with tears and Rinoa quickly had to turn her head, so the young women wouldn't notice her weeping.

The task assigned Squall was commissioned by the Dukedom of Dollet. He was to infiltrate the 'Tombs,' the Galbadian prison reputed to be their most dangerous. It was located fittingly enough in the less desirable part of Deling. Many of its' denizens only experienced a slight change of address, when they were sentenced there.

The man, that would be responsible for assisting Squall to successfully enter the penal institution, was a highly placed Galbadian citizen, who had long been unhappy with the inhumanity practiced by his country's government and had recently been cooperating with Dollet. His reputation was beyond reproach. Squall had his hair cut quite short and then bleached and he began to grow a mustache. His prison file was provided with the necessary paperwork identifying him as Karsh. He supposedly had no known first name. Since he was to have been a orphan from birth and raised by the state, the file only offered Baby Boy in its' stead; his crimes primarily concerned smuggling.

The commander's assignment involved him locating a Dollet agent, who had, over the years, worked his way up fairly high in the hierarchy of the Galbadian Government. The infiltrator had grown complacent and then finally careless in his passing of information and had been discovered and captured. He was currently an inmate undergoing torture and interrogation, while residing in the 'Tombs.'

Rinoa decided the warm spring day was just too nice to spend indoors at the Garden. Besides, I'm gonna go completely crazy if I don't get out of Garden for awhile, the ebony-haired young woman thought. Rinoa understood that people felt sympathetic towards her and she appreciated that, but she was completely fed up with the looks of pity that she kept experiencing on people's faces.

Rinoa crossed through the gates and out into the Balamb countryside. The sun beat down warmly, but not uncomfortably so. Besides, there was usually a delightful breeze that blew in off the water surrounding Balamb. The dark-haired young woman from Deiling City waved at some of the couples she knew, who were seated on blankets around the countryside.

Squall was to trace the operative and help him escape. If that wasn't possible, the taciturn man was to terminate the Dollet agent before he succumbed to the torture and shared the information that Galbadia was seeking from him.

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black

Rinoa walked into the city of Balamb, which was full of its' usual Saturday afternoon busyness. There were throngs of people in the streets attending the usual Saturday afternoon street markets. There were lines of cars parked everywhere. Rinoa wished she could just get in one and drive for a thousand miles.

It was reported to Cid via their Galbadian contact that three days after Squall's arrival at the prison the Dollet inmate, who he was to contact, was discovered dead in his cell with his wind pipe crushed. A man named Karsh, who the dead inmate had been spending a great deal of time with, was the number one suspect, but no one seemed to know where he was.

A week later the Galbadian still had no further information concerning Squall, except he stated without equivocation that Squall was no longer an inmate nor had he escaped. A week following that, their Galbadian informant was found with his wind pipe crushed also and there had then been no other way to elicit any information pertaining to Squall.

With flowers and my love both never to come back

Finally, as enough time passed, Rinoa had fallen into such a depression, her friends despaired of the emotional fugue she was lost in. Naturally a great many staff entreated Cid to send out some SeeDs to rescue Squall, but the difficulty remained that no one had any idea where Squall might be. Rinoa, even as a sorceress, was not picking up any vibration, feeling, or sensation from her knight that would indicate to her that he was still alive somewhere.

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

Cid finally decided to send personnel to search for Squall at the last place he was known to be. Quistis and Zell were chosen to travel to Deling City to infiltrate the prison on this particularly sensitive mission. Quistis found a way inside by obtaining forged papers that identified her as a Galbadian prison inspector. Despite his strongly wishing to accompany Quistis, Zell was assigned attempting to elicit any information he could from the Garden's underground contacts.

Quistis was able to inspect the entire prison's data base and discovered, - no Karsh, no Squall, no trace. Zell had no luck either in his interactions with any of the informants that Garden kept on its' payroll. It was as though Squall had never existed.

I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens every day

This was a big mistake, Rinoa thought. I need to return to Garden.

Not only were the streets jammed with SeeDs and students from the Garden, there was many Balamb citizens who also knew the story of the missing Commander and his heartsick lover as they had heard it from Zell's mom. Rinoa grew tired of the looks of pity offered to her by others surreptitiously and she would turn her head and stare until they would quickly glance away from her.

The sun was beginning to set on her journey back to the Garden along the coast of Balamb island. The sea was reflecting the colors of the sunset turning from green to deep blue as she walked along. Rinoa realized she should allow her pain to pass through her so she could finally be purified by it and then release it, but she refused to even consider this. The young sorceress felt as though if she were to give up her hope of Squall's safe return, she would be condemning him to death herself.

No more will my green sea turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the settin' sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes

Later, hours after dinner was served which Rinoa didn't ever consider attending, she lay still awake on her bed in the dark, completely dressed. Her eyes were wide open and she was feeling as though she would never sleep again. Her every feeling called out for solace, but she realized only one person could fulfill that.

I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted, black

The young woman, through every life crisis she had ever faced, always had felt as though when all was said and done, it would be alright. For once in her life, her belief in this positive life force was seriously threatened and she sincerely wondered how she was going to continue living if she never discovered whether Squall was alive or dead.

Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

Mercifully the ebony-haired woman had finally slipped into an uneasy sleep, when suddenly she heard loudly and distinctly the voice of Squall crying out. Rinoa!

She sat bolt upright in bed, eyes as large as saucers, with adrenaline racing through her body and her heart pounding. What was that? Rinoa thought. Was I dreaming? After listening intently for anything out of the ordinary for a few moments, fatigue finally won out and the young woman lay back down.

Rinoa! Squall screamed once again in her mind. Rinoa, help me!

It's Squall! Rinoa thought wildly as she leaped from her bed in one motion. He's alive!

"I'm coming!" she cried out, "Hold on, Squall!" Rinoa threw open the door of her dormitory bedroom and ran down the corridor leading to the main part of the Garden. Bursting from the corridor the young woman raced through the rotunda attracting strange looks from the few remaining SeeD's and upper-classmen, who hadn't chosen to retire to their rooms.

"Hey!" one of them called out after Rinoa had careened into him. "Sorry," Rinoa apologized over her shoulder as she sprinted towards the front gates.

Rinoa, hurry! the young woman heard solely in her mind. Rinoa drew up all of her concentration and projected back to him, Hang on, Squall! I'm coming!"

Rinoa raced up to the front gates where two upper-classmen and Irvine was standing watch. "Whoa Rinoa!" Irvine exclaimed. "What's going on?"

The young woman stood with her right hand resting just above her chest while she gasped for breath. "It's...Squall," she finally managed to say.

"Squall? What about Squall?" The tall cowboy's normally placid features were reflecting the incredulousness he was feeling.

"Squall's...outside," Rinoa gasped. "Let...me out."

"Rinoa, you know we are only allowed to open the front gates at night in an emergency and that order can only come from Cid or Xu," Irvine replied somewhat sternly.

"Irvine, open the damn gate NOW!" Rinoa screamed, her normally pleasant features emflamed with fury.

The long-haired young man sighed and against his better judgment ordered the two upper-classmen to throw open the gates. Rinoa ran into the darkness of the Balamb night. The temperature had fallen to where it was now cold and crisp. The young sorceress spotted Squall immediately laying in a crumpled heap. His clothing was in tatters and blood stained from wounds.

She flew to his side and knelt beside him. Rinoa very lightly leaned over him covering him somewhat from the chilly air. "Squall, I'm here," the ebony-haired woman murmured.

"Rinoa," her lover hoarsely whispered.

"Shh," Rinoa cautioned. "We have the rest of our lives to talk."

Behind her she heard Irvine order the two upper-classmen, "Don't just stand there with your mouths hanging open. Go get Dr. Kadowaki and tell her to bring two interns with a stretcher on the double!"

"I just had to get home to you," Squall murmured.

When the doctor arrived with the two interns bearing a stretcher, Rinoa stood and stepped back. Watching as the doctor performed any preliminary emergency procedures on Squall as was necessary, Rinoa smiled to herself for the first time in over two months. As she walked behind the interns rushing Squall to the clinic, Rinoa knew with all the certainty in her heart that he would be okay; although the knowledge wasn't derived from her power as a sorceress, but rather from the force of her love.

The End