Never Again
Madara's thoughts the night before he leaves Konoha.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He reminds me of the riverbank- where we first met. His steady breathing akin to breeze filtering through dry leaves, his muffled heart beats to the tempo of a lazy stream. The strong sun kissed arms that envelope me are warm like smooth baked pebbles. The Senju's scent is that of a forest after it's been quenched by rain; though after sex, a hint of burnt incense lingers on. Like the river, his presence soothes me- which is probably why it's so hard for me to leave.
I love him, with all my heart… However, he doesn't love me.
Despite the thousands of times he's confessed, despite the desire in his dark eyes, despite the tenderness of his touch- it's all for someone else. Some apparition, in my likeness, that lives only his mind. The one he loves is shallow, spiritless and pliable. Yet it is fiercely devoted and supports him wholeheartedly. Hashirama likes to play with fire but doesn't expect to get burnt himself.
He doesn't understand me, he doesn't know me… He doesn't love me.
His head has always been in the clouds. Unable to see what's beneath- or rather, unwilling to. He sees the cracks in my soul but only manages to deepen the rifts. He sees the flaws in our village- that it will never meet our expectations- still, he promises a place where we can protect the ones we love. All I see is betrayal and scorn.
He promised me love too… Though he doesn't love me.
I love him, with all my being. I would want nothing more, than to lay in his bed every night for the rest of my miserable life. The only solace in this hell. However, that's not possible. I've been bestowed with power- my brother's eyes too- it's my obligation to save this world. Hashirama cannot, he is the river after all- initially powerful enough to tear through obstacles, but once sated it merely winds around them. Konoha will decay, rot consuming it from the inside... My clan will perish, they've dug their own grave.
What a river fails to accomplish, fire can. I've been fanning the Fire all my life. Now, I must be the Fire.
So, I've made up my mind. The next day I will tell Hashirama of the path I've decided to take. Not my vision, I doubt he'll understand it anyway. Never again will get to rake my fingers through hair silkier than an empress' gown, never again will I feel his soft lips on mine, never again will hear sweet words of affection.
Never again will I be loved, not that Hashirama Senju ever loved me...
Note: Thank you for reading! :) I don't do much angst, so please tell me if I'm doing this right...