Not the best night out...By Rufus J Shin-Ra



Hello folks!!! For a long time I have been a Cloud and Tifa fan of FFVII so from now on in my stories they are a newlywedded couple. [They are so cute together] Anyhow this is a story of when Cloud&Tifa go for a nice night out but Rufus,Sephiroth and Hpojo have plans for the same resturant...



[Cloud&Tifa's Villa]


Cloud: [Asleep] Zzzzzzzz hair gel....ZZzzzzzzzz

Tifa: Wake up...

Cloud: ZZzzzz....Shinra....must stop shinra.....

Tifa: WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!

Cloud: [Wakes up] I'm AWAKE!!!! What time is it?

Tifa: 8:00

Cloud: Goodnight...

Tifa: NO!

Cloud: Fine.

Tifa: I need to talk to you! COme on! [Grabs Cloud by the largest spike in his hair and drags him into the living room]


[Shinra HQ]


Heiddeger: [Looks over Rufus who is sleeping] Ummmm...President? It's time to wake up and wreak havoc in the world....

Rufus: Zzzzzzzz...[Grabs onto Heiddeger while still asleep] Big large soft Teddy Bear...

Heiddeger: No. No. Sir. It's me Col.Heiddeger head of thje Shinra army.

Rufus: ....Big cuddley teddy bear...

Heiddeger: PRESDIDENT!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!!!

Rufus: Ahhhh I'm awake!!! I have a card game with the other FFVII villans at 9:00!!!

Heiddeger: Sir it's 8:00. You must be at Carl's diner to play cards in one hour.

Rufus: Dammit!!! Prepare the chopper!!!


[Cloud&Tifa's villa]

Tifa: As I was saying we should have a night out.

Cloud: Sure. Where?

Tifa: Carl's diner.

Backround Music: Dunnn dunnn dunnnn

Tifa: Why did that disaster music start playing.

Cloud: Dunno.



[Carl's diner]


Sephiroth: Where is Rufus? I have a new deck of poker cards.

Hojo: What kind?

Sephiroth: Girls of the internet deck.

Hojo: OOOOOHHH!!!!! I'd go online with them any day. Oh by the way Sephiroth in disc 2 of Final Fantasy VII it is revealed that I'm your father.

Sephiroth: [Draws Masamune blade] LIES!!!!! [Door opens] Oh it must be Rufus. [Lowers sword]

[Cloud&Tifa enter]

Sephiroth: Grrrrr....the hero's of the game. That couple....

Hojo: Although those Jenova experiments I did on Cloud are memorible....

Sephiroth: You're a real wacko pop.

Hojo: Of course. I am a scientest. [Shinra solider comes in]

Solider: President Rufus Shinra has arrived!!!

Rufus: [Looks at Sephiroth and Hojo and shrugs] What a crew.

Cloud: Another memorible Rufus quote.

Rufus: Ahhhh it's you two! Oh well I'll just play my card game and ignore you....

Sephiroth: Shuffle the deck.

Rufus: Woah. A nudie deck.

Tifa: You guy's are disquisting.

Sephiroth: Did you hear somthing? I thought I heard the flower children calling. [Rufus and Hojo laugh.]

Cloud: Hey don't ignore her!

Rufus: Buzz off Spikearoonie. [Sephiroth and Hojo laugh]

Cloud: Son of a bitch!

Sephiroth&Hojo: Oooooohhhh......

Rufus: [Get's up] What was that?

Tifa: Get a clue! Let's just ignore each other.

Cloud: So Tifa what do you want to talk about.

Tifa: Is it to early to have children...I....

Rufus: Get a room.

Cloud: Shut up! At least I have made love to my wife! You probably look good but you're probably still a virgin!

Rufus: I'm the President of Shin-Ra. The biggist nation on the planet. My good looks attract a lot of women.

Cloud: But have you ever slept with someone you loved?

Rufus: Love? Is that a new word? Never heard it.

Cloud: I bet you can't get that girl's phone number over there!!!

Rufus: Can too!!! [Walks over to girl and pulls out his shotgun] Give me your Phone number... [Girl writes it down and quickly hands it to him.]

Sephiroth: Now shuffle.


Rufus: Kay.

Waiter: Somthing to drink?

Cloud: Yeah champane for both of us.

Waiter: [Goes to the villans table] And for you?

Rufus: Three Vodka's.

Waiter: Sure thing.

Cloud: Tifa you sure look beautiful tonight in that blue evening dress I-[Hojo breaks wind] Goddammit what the hell is your problem?

Hojo: Sorry force-of habit.

Tifa: You sick bastard!

Rufus: God open a window.

Sephiroth: Ha ha! Royal straight flush! You all lose!

Rufus: Hey let's get some girls and play strip Monopoly.

Hojo: Yeah!!!

Tifa: Sicko's.

Sephiroth: Shaddup.

Cloud: [Throws dinner clothes off and appears in his normal fight clothes] Prepare yourself.... [Tifa throws her dress of and appears in her normal clothes]

Tifa: Winners strike first!

Rufus: [Pulls out shotgun]

Hojo: [Pulls out pistol]

Sephiroth: [Pulls out Masamune]

Cloud: [Draws buster sword]

Tifa: [Raises fist]

Cloud: GO!!!!! [They all clash]

Tifa: Cloud behind you!!!!

Cloud: [Kicks Hojo.]

Rufus: I'll take care of you! [Jumps Cloud][

Sephiroth: [Glares at Tifa] How about another scar...

Tifa: How about a long nap. [Jump kicks Sephiroth]

Sephiroth: Grrrr... [swings Masamune barely missing Tifa's head and hitting a vase]


Rufus: [Aims shotgun but the vase hit's him on the head and he fires at the ceiling]

Hojo: Stop this!!!! [Everyone stops] Come on guys let's go to Rufus's HQ and play there. [They leave]

Cloud: [Kisses Tifa] We won we have the resturant to ourselves. [They raise thier champane bottles and start kissing again.]

Tifa: When we get back home we are going straight to bed...

Cloud: Yeah COPS is gonna be on.

Tifa: No the otgher reason...

Cloud: Oh....Heee heeee



[Shinra HQ]

Sephiroth: I win again! Strip monopoly rules! I own Rufus's trenchcoat!

Rufus: Can I have it back?

Sephiroth: No!


The end


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