Not many things could bother him in the way that this one did.
Mark Cohen was strong, he was resilient, he usually detached before things could hurt him. That was before Mimi came into their lives, of course.
She would be good for Roger. She got him out of the house, something Mark couldn't do for months. She made the man who had been through so much smile. She made him happy. Roger was happy. Why wasn't that enough for him? the love of his life was happy, so why couldn't he be?
That night at the life, when he watched them kiss, they were getting ready to leave together. Standing in the shadows, his heart falling apart piece by piece, Mark fought to keep the tears in his eyes.
"That's it, then… they're official now… he doesn't need me anymore… she makes him happy… he doesn't need me anymore… he doesn't need me anymore…" he forced the lump in his throat down. Grabbing their coats, he didn't need his Roger to catch a cold.
He slowly crept over, cautious, afraid to ruin their moment. Holding the clothing out with shaking hands, he gave a slight nod as Roger took the coats, and gave him a short glance, and turned back to Mimi. Mark raised his arm up ever so slightly to say goodbye, and stood there, dumbfounded, as he watched them go. His back to everyone else, he couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his face.
Maybe Mimi made Roger happy. Maybe Roger needed Mimi right now. But Mark had always needed Roger. Now Roger couldn't possibly be his anymore. The older man had always put himself first. After helping him through a six month withdrawal, without so much as a thank you, Mark didn't know what else to expect of his friend.
He felt anger burning inside of him. Mimi wouldn't even treat Roger the way he would. She doesn't deserve him. "But he deserves better than YOU…" a voice in his head reminded him. He nodded, accepting defeat.
Mimi wont give him his favorite cereal in the morning like he would. Mimi wont stroke his hair to calm him down when hes upset. Mimi doesn't know that he likes when you compliment his rendition of Musetta's waltz, even though he plays it every. Fucking. Day. Mimi wont know what to do when he goes into the bathroom sometimes and cringes. Mimi wont take him to the park against his will, because he likes the leaves, and the colors, he's just too shy to admit it. Mimi wont appreciate the sparks of passion in his eyes when the plucks the strings of his guitar.
Mimi wont go in his room when hes slept past 4pm, with a cup of coffee to wake him up. Mimi wont get into play fights with him when he refuses to do the dishes. Mimi wont notice that cute little pout he gets when he's deep in thought. Mimi wont appreciate his brilliant green eyes that light up everyone and everything. Mimi wont crave to hear his lovely voice which makes Mark's world seem to spin around him. Mimi wont cherish his laugh, or smile as much as he would.
Mimi wont do any of those things as well as he would, but as he saw them leaving, hands laced together, smiling, he knew it wasn't like he had a choice. Roger wasn't his, and at this rate, it seemed he would never be.