Author's note: This isn't really a fic, as they have a computer. And it
doesn't really have a plot, more just the outline of a conversation. It is
slashy, but has no actual slash/smut in it, simply because I'm horrible at
writing it, but that not the point! This fic is in answer to the question:
"Why do so many people write Horatio Hornblower fan fiction as slash?" And
as you will see, the answer is: "Because they make it so god damned easy!"
Excuse my French.
Disclaimer: Archie, Horatio, and Will (Bush) all belong to themselves, though C.S. Forester is in charge of all legal arrangements, apparently.
~~~
"Horatio." Archie said as he tipped his head slightly to the side, staring at the computer screen. "Come look at this."
"Why?" Horatio grumbled, perfectly happy where he was, sprawled out on the couch in pure luxury.
"It's funny. You'll be amused. Fine, Bush, you come see this then, and we can laugh and try to get Horatio out of his laziness."
"I don't think that's necessary, Mr. Kennedy." Bush said, a damp cloth over his eyes. The excessive drinking of the night before had finally hit him, and he was ready to tackle Archie for even speaking, it so disturbed him.
"Oh come on, you two. It's about us. I found it on this website." Archie said once again, clicking his mouse button a couple of times.
"What's about us?" Horatio asked, sitting up slightly. Bush just groaned, and refused to move.
"They call it 'fan fiction'. Where these people write fiction about us. It's mostly about you, Horatio, but Bush and I are in these too - - - oh, my. I would never do that."
"Do what?" Bush snapped. The incessant babbling was beginning to annoy him, and he merely wanted to return to the melancholy state of hang-over-ness that he had been in before.
"Uh. Well, quite frankly, I don't think I would seduce Mr. Wellard. My, these girls are odd. You'd think they'd know I only have eyes for my sweetie."
"I hope that name meant me." Horatio said as he stood up to walk over to Kennedy, and wrapped his arms around Archie's neck to look at the computer screen. He gave him a slight peck on the cheek. "You're making me jealous of Mr. Wellard."
"Oh, stop it you two." Bush groaned.
"You're in these too, Bush." Kennedy said, "Here, this one's about all three of us. Oh, my. You happen to be very naughty, Mr. Bush."
"I resent that." Bush growled, moving the rag so that it blocked the sun from his eyes. "Where did you find that computer anyway?"
"I bought it from that computer store down the street, now be quiet." Kennedy said, as Hornblower tried to nibble his ear.
"Bought it from the store down the street? Wha.? But it's the 19th century! Computers don't exist!" "They do now. It's not my fault the author of this fic is odd. She wanted me to use a computer, so stop complaining, or she'll make Horatio ignore you."
"Fine! Fine!" Bush said, and went back to his headache.
"Continue, love." Horatio said, gently pushing Archie's face back to the screen. "What else do they say?"
"One minute, there are reviews for some of them. Why do you think they write this stuff anyway? It's all about us being gay."
"So? We are anyway."
"That's not the point. Why don't they write normal fanfic, not this. this 'slashy' stuff."
"Because, my dear Archie," Horatio said, "We make it much too easy. Any 'slash' writer must find us to be a goldmine."
"I suppose."
"Did Mr. Bush fall asleep?"
There was a long pause.
"Yes, he did." Archie finally answered.
"Well, you know, this is much too good of an opportunity to waste."
"Aye, and much too much of a plot bunny to kill, as well."
They grinned.
The End
Disclaimer: Archie, Horatio, and Will (Bush) all belong to themselves, though C.S. Forester is in charge of all legal arrangements, apparently.
~~~
"Horatio." Archie said as he tipped his head slightly to the side, staring at the computer screen. "Come look at this."
"Why?" Horatio grumbled, perfectly happy where he was, sprawled out on the couch in pure luxury.
"It's funny. You'll be amused. Fine, Bush, you come see this then, and we can laugh and try to get Horatio out of his laziness."
"I don't think that's necessary, Mr. Kennedy." Bush said, a damp cloth over his eyes. The excessive drinking of the night before had finally hit him, and he was ready to tackle Archie for even speaking, it so disturbed him.
"Oh come on, you two. It's about us. I found it on this website." Archie said once again, clicking his mouse button a couple of times.
"What's about us?" Horatio asked, sitting up slightly. Bush just groaned, and refused to move.
"They call it 'fan fiction'. Where these people write fiction about us. It's mostly about you, Horatio, but Bush and I are in these too - - - oh, my. I would never do that."
"Do what?" Bush snapped. The incessant babbling was beginning to annoy him, and he merely wanted to return to the melancholy state of hang-over-ness that he had been in before.
"Uh. Well, quite frankly, I don't think I would seduce Mr. Wellard. My, these girls are odd. You'd think they'd know I only have eyes for my sweetie."
"I hope that name meant me." Horatio said as he stood up to walk over to Kennedy, and wrapped his arms around Archie's neck to look at the computer screen. He gave him a slight peck on the cheek. "You're making me jealous of Mr. Wellard."
"Oh, stop it you two." Bush groaned.
"You're in these too, Bush." Kennedy said, "Here, this one's about all three of us. Oh, my. You happen to be very naughty, Mr. Bush."
"I resent that." Bush growled, moving the rag so that it blocked the sun from his eyes. "Where did you find that computer anyway?"
"I bought it from that computer store down the street, now be quiet." Kennedy said, as Hornblower tried to nibble his ear.
"Bought it from the store down the street? Wha.? But it's the 19th century! Computers don't exist!" "They do now. It's not my fault the author of this fic is odd. She wanted me to use a computer, so stop complaining, or she'll make Horatio ignore you."
"Fine! Fine!" Bush said, and went back to his headache.
"Continue, love." Horatio said, gently pushing Archie's face back to the screen. "What else do they say?"
"One minute, there are reviews for some of them. Why do you think they write this stuff anyway? It's all about us being gay."
"So? We are anyway."
"That's not the point. Why don't they write normal fanfic, not this. this 'slashy' stuff."
"Because, my dear Archie," Horatio said, "We make it much too easy. Any 'slash' writer must find us to be a goldmine."
"I suppose."
"Did Mr. Bush fall asleep?"
There was a long pause.
"Yes, he did." Archie finally answered.
"Well, you know, this is much too good of an opportunity to waste."
"Aye, and much too much of a plot bunny to kill, as well."
They grinned.
The End