Disclaimer: Standard
Alex Eames had many questions and concerns when she was paired with Bobby Goren. There were his reputations for strange and unorthodox interview techniques and his tendency to smell, touch, and taste evidence. There were rumors about his family and his mental stability. And there was the talk about his romantic conquests.
The latter rumors were the ones that most concerned Alex. She cared more about results than techniques and reserved judgment about people until she met them. But she had dealt with too many cops who regarded female officers as fair game, too many remarks about her being too pretty to be a cop, too many doubters about her abilities, to want a partner who thought he was some Romeo. Alex felt considerable relief when the first months of her partnership with Goren revealed that his actions brought results, that there was method in his madness, that his strange behavior concealed a gentle if troubled soul, and that he treated her not as a female partner, but simply as a partner. She found not only the professional partnership but the growing friendship rewarding.
Alex hadn't expected the friendship. Her previous partnerships had been on the professional level, partly because she wished them to remain on that level, partly because it was necessary for a female cop. And, if she would have a deep friendship with a cop, Bobby Goren would have been the last one she would have had it with. But at some point the cups of coffee turned into breakfasts and lunches, and those into quiet dinners involving cuisines from countries Alex had previously known only from geography quizzes. She began to quietly question some things she had regarded as written in stone, and found the experience disquieting and exhilarating. Her partnership with Bobby Goren made her not only a better cop, but a better person.
Bobby Goren, on the other hand, had few questions or concerns when he was partnered with Alex Eames beyond how long, or rather how short, it would last. He knew she had a reputation for being tough and by the book; that she came from a family of cops and was the widow of one; and that she worked very, very hard. He also learned that there were people in the NYPD who liked her very much and would ferociously defend her. And Bobby expected that, just like his other partners, Alex Eames would be gone in a few months.
He hadn't expected her tolerance, her patience, her capacity to learn, and her sense of humor. In the first months of their partnership he regularly shocked her by his behavior. Unlike his previous partners, Alex didn't pull away. She asked why he did things, where he got his information. And she challenged him to support his theories, not in a hostile way, but in a manner that suggested she wanted to support him. As a member of the blue tribe, Alex understood cops and their world in ways Bobby could only observe. She realized that his ideas and conclusions weren't pulled out of the ether, but the results of hard work.
If the success of the partnership surprised him, Bobby had to confess that the friendship astonished him. He was ashamed that part of that surprise was an assumption that the daughter of a cop would have a narrow view of the world. It was a humbling experience for Bobby Goren to realize he was an intellectual snob. Alex Eames possessed a bright, inquisitive and adventurous mind, one that he found endlessly fascinating as they parried and thrust over coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner. She provided a stability he'd never experienced and a bridge to other people. His partnership with Alex Eames made Bobby not only a better person, but a better cop.
And then she left.
She left for the best of reasons, and only for a few months. But Bobby felt betrayed, and then guilty because he felt betrayed, and then angry because he felt guilty. He still saw her during her pregnancy, and he shared her joy. One day, soon after she had been relegated to desk duty, Alex touched him on the arm as he passed. "C'mere," she said urgently, and led him to an empty interrogation room. She grabbed his hand, a move that shocked him since they rarely if ever touched outside of their undercover performances, and placed it on her expanding stomach. Bobby felt the ripples of a new life dance beneath his touch.
"Wow," he said reverently and then, full of concern, "Does it hurt? Are you all right?"
Alex laughed. "Better than all right," she answered.
But those moments became fewer as Alex slipped away from him into a world dominated by her family, a sort of world Bobby had only observed. When he stopped by her apartment, one or more of her siblings or her parents always seemed to be in attendance and the talk was of names and clothes and nurseries and the Eames family. Bobby certainly didn't begrudge Alex her happiness, but he felt as if he were in a world where he knew the language but couldn't quite place the accents.
And he had nightmares. Bobby had always had nightmares, but these were a new and vicious variety of nightmares of Alex bleeding away during the baby's delivery, of her calling to him for help. Drenched in sweat and screaming Alex's name, Bobby awoke from the dreams reaching for her. Afraid and confused, Bobby turned to the one place where he had always felt safe and disappeared into work.
Caught up in the last weeks of her pregnancy, Alex registered Bobby's withdrawal only on the farthest rims of her radar. There was simply too much going on. Her sister and brother-in-law did their best to conceal their anxiety, but they desperately wanted this child, and their hopes had been dashed before. Alex knew that this was one child that was definitely wanted and would be loved. There were remote but potentially serious medical concerns. Alex was not, as her doctors appeared too fond of reminding her, a young or large woman. And Alex found she was happily falling into her family's excitement. She had never really left her large and boisterous family's cocoon, but her work had taken her away from it. Alex loved her job and wanted to return to it as soon as she could, but she also relished being told what a wonderful person she was and the constant pampering from her family.
Alex was prepared to be depressed when the baby finally made his appearance. She had talked to the counselors, read the research (some of it subtly supplied by Bobby), and set her nerves before she entered the hospital. What she wasn't prepared for was the sheer joy she experienced when the squealing, red-faced infant was placed in his parents' arms. In between tears and laughs of joy, her sister kept saying, "Thank you, Lex…Thank you…"
Alex wearily smiled at her. "Keep it up, sis…it ALMOST makes up for the pain."
She was dozing, her family finally out of her room, when he arrived. Alex became aware of a large presence just inside the door.
"Hey," she said sleepily.
Bobby approached shyly. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you…I just wanted to see you…"
"Have you seen him?" Alex asked excitedly.
"Him?...Who…?" Bobby was confused.
"The baby, Goren…you know? That thing I've been carrying for nine months? Are you sure you're a First Grade Detective?"
"Uh, no, sorry…I wanted to see you…and…" Bobby stepped closer to the bed. He was carrying his leather binder like a shield. He looked tired and drawn, and Alex realized that she hadn't seen him in nearly two weeks and that their phone conversations had been brief disconnected affairs.
"You should see him…he's beautiful," Alex declared.
Bobby smiled at her. "I'm sure he is if you had anything to do with it." He gestured at a chair, and Alex nodded. He sat down and leaned towards her.
"You're ok?" he asked.
"Yeah," Alex answered. "I'm sore and tired and probably high from the meds, but I feel really good. I keep waiting for the bad stuff to hit me, but nothing yet."
"Good," Bobby said.
"I just feel like I've done this terrific thing…and everyone is treating me like I'm some kind of queen." Alex sobered a little. "I guess I might get depressed later, but right now I feel really good." She studied Bobby carefully. "I might feel better than you…"
Bobby leaned back in the chair and then again towards Alex before he answered. "I miss you," he finally and simply said. "This case…I just finished…it involved partners…and it just reminded me that I missed you."
"You should've called…" Alex began and then remembered. "You did call…the other night…."
Bobby laid his hand on hers. "Don't worry…you had much more important things…just talking to you helped." He felt awful that he was worrying her.
Alex suddenly laughed. "Great…now you're feeling bad 'cause you made me feel bad…Did you put poor Bishop through these sort of moral quandaries?"
Bobby raised a hand to his mouth. "Oh, Alex…I put that poor girl through hell…"
"Yea, well she can handle it…We had a talk about you," Alex said lightly.
"A…talk?" Bobby shuddered. "I can imagine what that was like."
"She's actually pretty tough and smart…not at all bad after a few rum and cokes." Alex settled against her pillow. "She went from dreading you to being one of your ardent groupies."
Bobby winced.
"She owes me a few margaritas from that session." Alex smiled at Bobby, and he realized how much he missed that smile. "I bet," she said, "you've got her doing paperwork."
"She volunteered…when I got the call…"
"Right…probably just as you raced away." Alex's smile turned to a grin, and Bobby felt its warmth flow through him.
They sat for a few moments in a comfortable silence. Alex yawned contentedly.
"I should go," Bobby said. "Let you get some rest. When are they letting you out of here?"
"Tomorrow," Alex said. "Barring any complications…which I absolutely forbid."
Bobby smiled at her, and Alex realized how much she had missed him. "Do you need anyone to take you home? Take care of stuff at your apartment?"
"I appreciate the offers, Bobby, but my family has everything under control, or at least think they do." Alex laughed. "My sister told me that my brother-in-law had the car halfway down the block before he realized she wasn't in it when I called them to say the baby was coming."
Alex saw a shadow cross Bobby's face. "But," she added. "I bet I'll want some company tomorrow night. Why don't you come and bring me some food."
Bobby brightened. "You're sure…should I call?"
"Nah," Alex said. "I think we're at a point where I can tell you to scram if I want."
There was a soft knock at Alex's door. As Bobby stood up, a woman bearing a small wrapped bundle entered.
"Hey Lex…oh, hi…Bobby, isn't it?"
Bobby nodded. "I…should be…."
"Bobby, you gotta see him," Alex said. She smiled and nodded at her sister.
"Would you like to hold him?" Alex's sister asked Bobby.
Bobby looked from one woman to the other with a slight sense of panic. He had nothing against babies, but he wasn't entirely comfortable with them either. To Bobby, they all looked like Winston Churchill, and he was never quite sure how to tell the beaming parents that the smile they thought had just appeared on their child's face was undoubtedly gas. But this was the baby Alex carried for nine months.
"Uh, sure," Bobby said, awkwardly placing his binder on the bedside table. He took the small package gingerly.
"He won't break," Alex's sister said gently.
The baby was tiny in Bobby's huge hands. He sat down carefully next to Alex's bed, and tentatively folded back the blanket. He revealed a slightly puckered and reddened face, whose stunning blue eyes briefly regarded Bobby, then fluttered shut. Bobby was shaken to his core.
"My God, Alex," he said reverently. "He is beautiful."
Alex and her sister both laughed.
"Glad you approve, detective," Alex's sister said. "Listen, I'll give you some time…Probably good to get him away from the horde for a bit. I'll be back soon." She paused at the door. "Have I told you thank you recently, Lex?"
Alex smiled. "Not for the last half hour or so."
Bobby scarcely noticed the mother's departure. He was concentrating on the small being in his hands. He tenderly ran a finger over the tiny chest and examined the small toes and fingers. He lifted the powder blue hat and gently touched the pale, fine hair.
Alex watched with growing amusement. "I swear," she thought, "if he smells him…"
As if he were responding to her thoughts, Bobby sniffed at the baby's head. Alex fell into her pillow to stifle her laugh.
"Alex? Are you ok?" There was an edge of fear in Bobby's voice.
"I'm…fine…just…" Alex wiped away tears of laughter. "It's just…you were being so…you. Hey…don't let him get cold…"
Bobby gave her a rueful smile, carefully wrapped the blanket around the baby, and handed him to Alex. Bobby rested his head in his hands and studied the two of them.
"It's amazing," he said softly after a few moments.
Alex looked up at him. She had seen Bobby's quieter and gentler sides, but it seemed he was now letting her into a place few had entered.
"In that small, tiny body and brain," Bobby seemed to be talking to himself as much as to Alex. "There's everything…everything good and bad about people…the potential for greatness and tragedy…the past, the future…all in that little…"
He stopped and placed a large hand on the baby's head. He brushed Alex's hand as he did, and warmth flowed in and around them. They sat quietly as the room filled with the soft shadows of the evening.
End Chapter 1