Ed had to admit that he was surprised. When he'd opened the door to find Riza Hawkeye smiling nervously at him, he'd honestly thought he'd been dreaming. It wasn't until Winry yelled from her workroom about who was there, that Ed snapped to his senses and invited Riza inside.
"I'm surprised to see you here in Resembol," he commented as he set to making them tea. Winry came into the room before Riza could reply. The two hugged tightly and chatted excitedly about their lives. Ed listened contently as he boiled water and pulled their tea box out of the cupboard. He set everything on the table, smiling at the two women followed suit.
They slowly quieted down in the next couple minutes until the three sat in comfortable silence. Hawkeye cleared her throat once she'd finished her cup of tea. She smiled apologetically at Winry before she spoke.
"I'm sorry to ask this, Winry, but I need to talk to Edward alone for a few minutes."
Winry glanced between the two of them with a look of concern. She observed Ed's surprised expression and decided that he had no idea what Hawkeye was talking about. She glanced back at Riza, taking in her serious expression. Slowly, Winry nodded and stood up. She gave a small smile and grabbed her half finished tea.
"Alright, but don't go sneaking off when you're done. I'm not through talking with you yet!"
Riza laughed. "Of course. This won't take long."
Winry nodded and turned to go back to her workroom. The door closed a moment later with a solid click.
Ed turned his attention back to Riza. "What's going on?"
Hawkeye smiled as she stared down at her cup. She fidgeted with it as she thought about what to say.
"I need you to tell me about the Truth." Her voice was so soft that Edward had trouble hearing what she said.
Silence stretched out between them for a long moment as Ed stared at her. His hands trembled against the tabled; he clenched his mug tightly so that Hawkeye wouldn't notice.
"Why would you want to know?" he grunted, feeling a little bad for sounding so harsh. Even now, years later, the events of those days were still so fresh in his mind. Like a wound that had only just scabbed over. Tender and easily irritated.
Riza looked up at him, leveling him with an even stare. She swallowed once, twice, three times before she could speak. "I made a promise once, to Roy, that I would follow him into hell. On the Promise Day, I broke that vow. I can't..." Her voice broke away with a hitch.
Ed stared at her in open awe. His mouth hung slightly open, words sat on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to say so many things at once but it all got tangled in the pathway between his brain and his mouth. Riza continued before he could say anything.
"I can't stop think about it, Edward. Watching Bradley pin him down, the sound of him being pulled into the gate, the look in his eyes when I finally found him. I should have been there with him. That's what I promised to do." Her voice steadied as she spoke, until by the end, her expression was neutral and her voice even.
Ed continued to stare, his mouth moving as if to speak. It took him a full minute before he croaked out any words. "I don't think Mustang cares about that." He stared down at his mug, watching the tea swirl as he rotated it. "This isn't something you wish on someone you care about."
Riza nodded at him promptly, pouring herself another cup of tea. She felt restless and wanted to be doing something with her hands. "I know. Roy said as much when I talked to him about it."
"You already talked to him about it?" He leaned on the table, supporting his chin in his palm. "And you still came here? Does the bastard know you're here?"
Riza stilled as she stirred sugar into her tea. "Yes. I told him that I was coming to visit you and Winry, though I didn't elaborate on why." She took a drink of tea before finishing. "Though I imagine that he knows why I'd visit now."
Ed nodded at that, grunting in agreement. "He'll have my head if I tell you," the boy pointed out, glancing out the window to stare at the sun setting behind the low hills of Resembol.
Hawkeye sighed. "Yes, I know. I need you to understand, Edward, and I think you will better than Roy did. This is not your decision to make, it is mine and mine alone. I made a vow that I intend to keep. I can't open the gate on my own, so the only way I can keep this promise is to be told by someone who has seen it first hand." She looked out the window as well, enjoying the rolling hills and peace in the air. "I'm asking you as a friend, Edward."
Ed grimaced at her, squinting his eyes and leaning back in his chair. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave a huge sigh. "Gotta pull the friend card, huh?" he groaned loudly. Riza grinned at him, knowing that this was him admitting defeat. They sat quietly for a few minutes, drinking tea as Edward gathered his thoughts. He sat forward and braced his elbows on the table when he was ready to start.
"The first thing you feel is your body being deconstructed. You're broken into a million pieces that hurtle through the portal. But you still feel like one body. All the while, the entire history and events of alchemy are being pushed into your head, an entire gallery of history and your life flashes by and you feel like you're going to explode. Which doesn't really feel possible because you're in a million pieces," he paused to sip his tea, "When you drop into the portal, it happens so quickly that you aren't even sure that you were really ever pulled apart. The first thing I saw was the door, my own Door of Truth. Each one is specific to the person that owns it. Then..."
His voice trailed away and he unconsciously rubbed his hand against the place where his automail met his flesh. The phantom, tingling pain that never went away flared at the memories of his first time in the portal. The sensation spread along his shoulder as well.
"You have to pay for the information you've been given. That much knowledge holds an amazing amount of power; it's not free. Truth takes a toll from you. I'm not sure if it's random or if it has to do with some small part of your life or personality, but something is always taken." The tingling was on the edge of burning. "It's excruciating, worse than being deconstructed. Its a part of you dissolving away and you're left bleeding and hurt and confused. You come back into the world with so much knowledge but you've lost some part of yourself in return. You see everything so clearly, the entire world is suddenly in painful clarity because you've seen the Truth."
Riza hid the slight tremble in her hands well, clenching her hands into a fist in her lap. She swallowed against the small lump in her throat. She wanted to push the images Ed was painting away, she didn't want to consider Roy, or the Elric brothers for that matter, going through that kind of agony. She didn't though, she let the images flash behind her eyelids when she clenched her eyes shut. She owed him that, facing this nightmare in it's entirety when it was only a fraction of what Roy had been through.
Almost half an hour passed before Hawkeye let out a deep breath and relaxed fractionally. She opened her eyes and looked at Edward thankfully. "Thank you, Ed. I'm glad that you told me."
Ed stared at her suspiciously, scowling slightly. "I wish I didn't have to," he admitted. Riza shrugged apologetically and grinned.
"I know, but I'm thankful nonetheless." She glanced down at her watch and sighed. "I'm sorry to do this, but I need to catch the last train back to Central."
Ed rolled his eyes at her and smirked. "Worried about Fuhrer Asshole?" he quipped. Riza grinned.
"Of course I am. I've been gone nearly an entire day. I'm willing to bet he didn't get any work done and he hasn't eaten."
The blonde boy barked out a laugh and smiled. "He really is hopeless without you."
Riza went to Winry's workroom a moment later to chat for a few minutes before leaving to catch her train. The promised that Roy and her would be out for a visit very soon.
"Roy needs some advice from Edward but he's too thickheaded to ask. I'm just going to drag him here."
Ed rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Great, you're going to bring him here kicking and screaming. He's going to be such an asshole!"
Winry laughed at his antics and hugged Riza one last time. Ed and her watched as Riza walked down the steps of the front deck and down the road toward town. It wasn't until she disappeared over the edge of the hill that they retreated into their home. Winry started cleaning up the tea as Ed sat at the table. He rubbed his face and sighed into his hands. Winry paused to rub a hand along his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him.
"How much did you hear?" he asked, his voice muffled. Winry glanced away and bit the inside of her cheek softly.
"How did you know?" she murmured, deciding not to try to deny it. Ed sighed again before pulled his hands away from his face.
"I guessed," Ed admitted quietly. Winry cursed herself for falling for such an old trick. With a sigh, she circled the table to sit down across from him. She reached out to hold one of his hands between both of hers. She stared at them as she spoke.
"I was going to work, but I caught Riza's saying something about the Truth. I was worried... We haven't talked about it in so long, I was scared about why she was bringing it up. I needed to know that everything was okay. But..." She quieted, squeezing his hand gently. "I'd always wondered too, you know. You and Al talked about this Truth person so much, but never wanted to talk to me about it. I felt like I was useless, because it felt like you never wanted my help."
Ed gripped her hand tightly, using his other hand to hold her's. "It's not that," he reassured forcefully, "It's like I said to Hawkeye, the Truth isn't something you wish on someone you love."
Winry smiled tearfully. "I love you too," she whispered, "But that means that I want to know everything, Ed. What you like, what you fear, what you hope for. All of it. You don't have to hold back. I'm not going anywhere."
Ed bent his head to kiss her knuckles several times. He whispered against her skin softly. "Have I told you that you're the most amazing woman in the world?"
Winry giggled breathlessly. "Not today," she admitted, kissing the crown of his head, "But it's always implied."